March 11, 2008

Contest: Insert your own caption for this Sunnyvale house!

MLS-2.com: Property Details
544 CASHMERE CT, Sunnyvale,CA,94087 – $899,000

544cash.jpg3 Beds 1540 Sq.Ft. Aprx. 2 Car Garage MLS#: 770834
2.0 Baths 4,356 Lot Size 39 Yrs Old Aprx. List Date: 2008-01-09

What’s new on MLS-2: Search by % Price Drop // Search by “MOTIVATED SELLERS”

Description – 544 CASHMERE CT, Sunnyvale,CA,94087
?Gorgeous Newly remodeled European Single Family House Cupertino Schools. Immaculate, priced to sell and move in.Quiet, convenient prestigious and established neighborhood? Vaulted cathedral ceiling; Efficient, elegant floor plan and style. New roof . Easy living Excellent Cupertino schools: Nimitz elementary, Cupertino Middle, Fremont High

I thought I had seen everything – but this one… well… this takes the cake. Frankly, I’m speechless. I was thinking of making a joke about an armory. Or a 1960’s mall. Or a shipping container.

But frankly, none of them seem to do this house justice.

So – what would you say about this house?

Comments (43) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:41 am

43 Responses to “Contest: Insert your own caption for this Sunnyvale house!”

  1. Winston Says:

    Suburban warehouse for sale. Do you need a chemical waste storage site or extra room for that plating operation or meth lab? This is the facility for you. With only one window to provide ventilation without exposing you to the prying eyes of neighbors this property says “welcome home.” The all concrete yard saves on watering bills – all you have to do is keep the junipers trimmed! What could be better than that!
    A property such as this is a unique opportunity for someone with a creative mind!

  2. SantaClarite Says:

    doghouse for sale.

  3. rick Says:

    Hey it is a cathedral, for RE worshipping.

  4. sb Says:

    You store it, you lock it, you keep the key!

  5. sonarrat Says:

    Eliot Spitzer special. Driveway opens directly into soothing, intimate bathhouse. Excellent opportunity to serve the ‘needs’ of an upscale community, if you know what I mean!

  6. blogdog Says:

    At first glance, it looks like the property is flipping you the middle finger. Maybe that’s an omen?

  7. mtv-renter Says:

    These houses look hideous from the outside, and there’s whole street of them that all look the same in that part of Sunnyvale. The street looks like something from a first person shooter game, where they draw the same house over and over to save memory.

    I’ve been inside one of these boxes, and I have to say, the interior design is quite nice and makes great use of the space.

  8. Renter Says:

    Sales history:

    8/14/2003 $461,500 Grant Deed Resale Nooraei, Nazanin Ashtiani, Kaihan A 273883079
    2/1/1999 $420,000 Grant Deed Resale Love, Ronnie H Ashtiani, Kaihan A & Nazanin N 273886384
    6/3/1988 $200,000 Grant Deed Resale Desmo Love, Ronnie 273892787

    I don’t understand why the owner is listed as “motivated seller” by trying to make $500K profit in less than 5 years.

    Excellent school for Fremont High School? Give me a break! I drive pass that school every morning, and sometimes I see pregnant high school girls, sometimes high school girls in bikini.

  9. Hmmmmm Says:

    I can’t figure out how to see the inside photos. CAn someone help me out?

  10. DensityDuck Says:

    Well, it’s easy to “make use of the space” when your house is a perfect cube.

    My caption: “The cramped, maximum-squeeze architecture of the city meets suburban land prices in this house which is truly the Worst Of Both Worlds…

  11. DensityDuck Says:

    PS I like the way it has a “vaulted cathedral ceiling”. As in “the designer knew that this was too damn small, so he made it double height so it would ‘feel’ bigger.”

  12. TomM Says:

    Paint it blue and will match one of Sunnyvale’s other landmarks – Onizuka Air Force Station!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onizuka_Air_Force_Station

  13. RealEstater Says:

    This house is for people who like to hold Sunday prayers right from the convenience of their living room!

  14. madhaus Says:

    Got a few shipping containers that fell off the crane? Stack them on their ends, weld them together, and you’ve got a Frank Lloyd Wright showpiece! Don’t like the look? Try balancing it another way! Arrange it, cut your own doorways, add more containers!

    You’ve got to see the inside photos (I checked on Redfin)!
    It’s a twisty little maze of blue rectangles. The only plant life is the tombstone-shaped sod in the back yard (which is 75% concrete). The only room that seems the least bit inviting is the bedroom, probably because there’s nothing else in it but the bed.

    That said, these properties are only one step better than a townhouse development — narrow on tiny lots, they are technically detached homes with all the sameness, including the paint job, of a townhouse six-pack. There’s definitely an HOA deciding these things and demanding dues.

    The price is ridiculous. Nimitz has the lowest API scores in the Cupertino school district. Stocklmeier is the most crowded elementary with over 800 kids. You cannot easily walk to Cupertino Middle from this house, it’s more than 2 miles. Fremont High, the lowest scoring of the five high schools in Fremont Union, is close by, except I believe this house is zoned for Homestead (score ranking 3rd of 5), almost 2 miles away.

  15. burbed Says:

    Pregnant students at Fremont? Are you serious?

  16. Pralay Says:

    So – what would you say about this house?
    ————–

    I saw similar thing in TV when President Bush was entering into bunker in one of the military bases near DC, immediately after 9/11. That bunker entrance is nothing but a booth with a door and a staircase inside leading down to bunker. This house resembles that booth. So, you never know. This house might have a great bunker underground. I am smelling “instant equity” in DHS threat-level color orange periods.

  17. ex-sunnyvale-renter Says:

    Damn, that thing has potential:

    Geek Storage Unit

    Snuff film site

    Meth lab

    Pot growing operation

    Child prostitution

    Hardened bunker

    I’d say, buy it now, because RE always goes up! Fill it with ammo and canned goods and MREs, you might be able to last a year in that thing while the Bird Flu sweeps through, or pick your idea of a disaster and prepare for it NOWWWWW!!

  18. RoxBoy Says:

    Its a storage container where Bush keeps the WMDs he stole from Saddam Hussein.

  19. tony Says:

    I am speachless…

  20. madhaus Says:

    It looks like one of these on its side.

    And when you turn it 90 degrees, you get this.

  21. DensityDuck Says:

    I don’t know. Those photos actually don’t look too bad. I like the design, although “4 beds / 2 full baths” in 1500 sf is a bit suspicious. But it’s a detached place with its own garage, the thing looks like it’s been maintained well (at least there’s no obvious decay in the pictures, but of course an up-close look will probably reveal faults.) Whoever did the backyard had a bit of a fetish for pavers, but they look well-laid and it’s with an eye for design; not just straight paths or poured-concrete sidewalks.

    But…as madhaus says, FREAKIN’ NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. I mean…what the hell are these people thinking? Seriously, NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND. Buddy…you’re a full hour from either San Francisco or Santa Cruz, and that’s outside the commute hours. Who could possibly be willing to pay 900 large for 1500 sf when you’re so far away from anything? This is basically the essence of the bubble right here; it’s 900K because “that’s what the comps are”.

  22. TNTinCA Says:

    Honestly, it looks like something that was put together from Lego.

  23. Pralay Says:

    Those photos actually don’t look too bad. I like the design
    ————-

    It’s true. Although blue is not my favorite color, but I liked all the designs. It has a very modern look with little bit of funky touch.

  24. TomM Says:

    @DensityDuck
    900K is outrageous, but Sunnyvale is hardly “so far away from anything”. There are a lot of employers in Sunnyvale, Cupertino, Mountain View, Santa Clara, Palo Alto, etc. Some folks prefer a shorter commute to work than the other other advantages that living in SF or Santa Cruz.

  25. Jim D Says:

    “There are a lot of employers in Sunnyvale, Cupertino, Mountain View, Santa Clara, Palo Alto, etc.”

    Do they pay 250k salaries at these “lot” of employers? This hardly looks like a “Google millionaire” house.

    It’s more like an “HP thousandaire” house for a “Google millionaire” price.

  26. sonarrat Says:

    Those Googillionaires haven’t been so happy since their shares dropped $300.

  27. TomM Says:

    @JimD
    I wasn’t defending the price – the price is outrageous. I was defending the geographical location of Sunnyvale.

  28. ex-sunnyvale-renter Says:

    That’s why it’s made to hide whatever’s going on inside. Meth lab, designer drugs, child porn, things like that, because to afford it, you have to USE IT to make the money to make the payments.

  29. Renter4 Says:

    I want a pic of the “loft bedroom.”

  30. gfw Says:

    Newly remodeled???? Seriously??? Where? I think if it were remodeled/updated and a big front window was put out front with some wood/metal and a new paint job— done tastefully this thing could look pretty mod.

  31. rick Says:

    I also drive by everyday.

    I haven’t noticed pregnant student, but you can not miss the punks gather around the DQ around the corner of Fremont/Sunnyvale/Saratoga. Baggy clothing and piercing are in the cool in Fremont.

  32. Montythemule Says:

    Remodel Ready Home in Sunnyvale!
    Bring your hammer and your bulldozer. Be sure to keep that one outside wall to remind you what the worst suburban dwellings can morph into.

    Actually there are many of this style of atrocities in that neighbourhood. It would look much better as an orchard don’t you think?

  33. Crossroads Says:

    Err… baggy clothes and piercings aren’t all that uncommon at any high school in this country.

  34. gfw Says:

    I like the subtle misspellings in the listing. Much more sophisticate than the normal ones. How many can you count?

  35. Chester Says:

    high school girls in bikini’s!! And a box to take them to! What more can a guy want?

  36. sonarrat Says:

    I don’t see any misspellings. I do see plenty of incorrect capitalizations, misplaced punctuation marks and mangled sentences, though.

  37. Bad Advice Says:

    The agent is an Asian “doctor” with an MBA. An odd combination (can’t focus on a career?).

    Anyway, the house is a Bahl Patio home. For the size, the floor plan is decent, there’s a good loft and I like the enclosed deck space between the bedrooms and the garage. I’ve seen much worse on the east side of the 101. That being said, the price is outrageous.

  38. madhaus Says:

    The price is nucking futz. The comps do not match, because for $900,000, you can get a house that actually looks like a house in the neighborhood to the west — with better schools. (West Valley instead of Nimitz.) Houses there have things like lawns and stuff instead of big concrete pads to launch missiles. The comps on Redfin are for houses that don’t look like the box your Ikea furniture came in.

    1500 sf/4 br is not unlikely, our house is 1371 sf and a 4/2. Our 3rd & 4th bedrooms are very small. Maybe “loft bedroom” really means “shelf on the vaulted ceiling.”

    Burbed sure has a jones for them Sunnyvale houses, that’s the fourth one in a row!

  39. DensityDuck Says:

    Renter: The seller is “motivated” because they took out a $500K equity loan to buy a “sure winner” investment property. Now they’re trying to get out of the market before it’s time to pay the piper.

  40. advanced pet Says:

    It looks like a place to store dead bodies… to stack bodies in caskets… in the suberbs… not like the catacombs in parisbut more like where to put cremated remains of people
    in the suberbs… with fake flowers outside…
    perhaps that “home” could be worth more…
    It could be underpriced…
    should someone call the agent and tell them they could charge more?

  41. gfw Says:

    Sonarrat, I was looking at the redfin listing, which is different than the one above. Sorry! I didn’t think they would be different…

  42. BubblyRE Says:

    My caption:

    “Own utter cr@p for under a million! YES!!!!!!! Now you can haz your very own container size dog house for the price of less than 2100 Goog shares!”

  43. LorD Says:

    Has anyone on this post actually seen the house? It is one in a lovely neighborhood of Bahl homes. Inside it is modern and spacious. Soaring ceilings, lovely light, large bedrooms, fully landscaped yard, not to mention the perfect location … the list goes one.


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