It’s Saturday and that means it is time for Burbed’s Book of the Week:

Amazon.com: The Foreclosure Survival Guide: Keep Your House or Walk Away With Money in Your Pocket eBook: Stephen Elias
The Foreclosure Survival Guide: Keep Your House or Walk Away With Money in Your Pocket (Kindle Edition)
by Stephen Elias (Author)

“Facing foreclosure? Know your options! According to Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies, “”the number of homeowners paying more than half their income on housing rocketed from 6.5 million in 2001 to 8.8 million in 2006… The number of homes entering foreclosure nearly doubled to 1.3 million in 2007 from about 660,000 in 2005.”" If you’re having trouble making your mortgage payments or are already in jeopardy of foreclosure, The Foreclosure Survival Guide compassionately gives you the practical information you need, step by step. An essential tool for anyone at risk of foreclosure, The Foreclosure Survival Guide provides key information about: # mortgages, including adjustable rate mortgages (ARMs) # short sales # deeds in lieu of foreclosure # judicial and non-judicial foreclosure # credit counseling # liens, and # using bankruptcy to deal with foreclosure. The Foreclosure Survival Guide gathers all the information Attorney Stephen R. Elias has used to help hundreds of clients over 30 years of practicing law and shows you how to deal with foreclosure. Like many hardworking people facing foreclosure in this rough economy, you deserve answers to your pressing questions. Thorough and easy to understand, The Foreclosure Survival Guide can help you stay in your home or walk away with money in your pocket. “

It’s Halloween, so I figured I’d showcase foreclosure. Oooh. Scary!

Wait… it’s ok. Breathe! Breathe! This is just an illusion. There’s no such thing as foreclosure in the Real Bay Area. No one needs to. Have you seen Apple and Google stock lately? CHA CHING.

Really this book is for other places, like Seattle and New York. To live there, it must be like Halloween every day – frights around every corner. In fact, foreclosures there happen so often that this book has to be available on Kindle so that they can carry it around with them at all times!

Relax. It’s safe here.

Sorry. I promise I won’t do this again.

How about giving this site some candy! Click this link to learn more!

1647 MORGAN St, Mountain View, CA 94043 | MLS# 80944656
1647 MORGAN St Mountain View, CA 94043
Price: $988,000

Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: 2,396
$/Sq. Ft.: $412
Lot Size: 5,244 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 2
View: Neighborhood, City Lights
Year Built: 1956
Community: North Shoreline
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80944656
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 34 days
Spectacular remodel light and open floor plan. 4BD/3BA, 2396 sq ft on newly professionally landscape, 5244 sq ft lot. This elegant home offers living/dining, wet bar, remodel gourmet kitchen, separate family/study, two master bedrooms & another two large bedrooms one with high ceiling. Wood and marble for both floors, great neighborhood. Motivated sellers – make offer.

Thanks to Burbed reader Mabel for this freaky find!

It’s the day before Halloween and this is the perfect house.

Imagine you had this house. It surely must look like it does in these photos because… well… Realtors never lie.

Just think about how awesome it would be for the kids that have their parents drive them over to good trick or treating. Watch as they step out of the Land Rover, eye the house. Their eyes widen. The mouths gape. They’re stunned. How does this house possibly exist! What kind of evil lurks behind!

They muster all the braveness they have to walk up to the house. How is it that all shadows have suddenly disappeared? Are they still alive? Are they dead?

As they get closer to your door, they take out their iPhones to call their mom waiting in the Land Rover to let her know they’re ok (but really it’s to let themselves know that they’re still alive.) They knock on the door.

Tada!

It’s just you!

And then you reward each of them with a cupcake from Sprinkles.

Happy Halloween everyone! Stay safe!

138 QUEENS Ct, San Carlos, CA 94070 | MLS# 80928436
138 QUEENS Ct San Carlos, CA 94070
Price: $2,798,000

Beds: 3
Baths: 3.5
Sq. Ft.: 4,199
$/Sq. Ft.: $666
Lot Size: 0.55 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
View: Bay, Mountains, Canyon
Year Built: 2005
Community: Beverly Terrace
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80928436
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 128 days
Breathtaking Hyde Park Estate Home!!! Walls of glass overlook astonishing panoramic Bay to Canyon views! One of a kind contemporary masterpiece! Recent 450K customization of this 3 year old home! Located on over a 1/2 acre on a quiet cul-d-sac with usable yard. This spectacular home is a one of a kind with top of the line finishes throughout!!! Open house Sunday, October 18th 1:00-4:00.

Thanks to Burbed reader Sam for this find!

Wow. Now you too can live like a King – on Queens Ct in San Carlos. Just look at all the castle-esque features. It’s got a turret with tall narrow windows to allow light to enter, but prevent angry peasants from storming your library and stealing your vintage copy of Java in a Nutshell. It’s got what could easily be converted into a drawbridge, to protect the sanctity of your home. The interior pictures reveal that it is classic, simple. With 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms, this castle is fit for either the King of Spain or the King Thailand – great for those looking to open their own Hotel for Kings(TM).

Masterpiece it certainly is. At at this incredibly low price for a castle, you’ll have plenty of money to add an X10 based boiling oil cauldron to pour on those below, build up a moat and fill it with piranhas, and eventually host your own, virtual fox hunts (involves GPS, GSM, GeForce, Google, and other fun technologies.)

You’re the king at… oh wait, that’s taken. Live like a king on g Queens Ct! (Now… if only it had some marble columns!)

It’s search engine result Thursday.

Recently, someone found this site by searching for: silicon valley rental market

Now, while this site traditionally focuses on buying and selling homes, which is what good people do – there are definitely a few stragglers in the Bay Area who continue to rent. It’s a pity they haven’t seen the light yet.

With that in mind, let’s look at a typical Silicon Valley rental house to get a feel for the market:

2315 Cowper St Palo Alto, CA 94301 – Home for Rent : realestate.sfgate.com/
2315 Cowper St
Palo Alto, California, 94301

$6,950 / 4 beds / 2 baths

Property Description

REMODELED QUINTESSENTIAL PALO ALTO HOME IN PREMIER OLD PALO ALTO NEIGHBORHOOD. CHARM WITH ARCHITECTURAL DETAIL ABOUNDS THROUGHOUT. 3BR/1.5BA ON GROUND FLR 1BR could be TV room/den. MASTER SUITE FEATURES SEPARATE STUDY, LOVELY BALCONY &STUNNING MASTER BATH. PAST HERITAGE 2005 RESTORATION AWARD WINNER.

Yeah. It’s pretty pricey. So you might as well go straight to buying.

According to Zillow, this house is worth $1.777 million. That’s just $7,486 per month according to the site. For just a few dollars more, a month, you can own this house, own its appreciation, and get the copious tax savings that come with it.

So forget renting. Start buying!

Sorry, before you read this entry, you must watch this video clip – Mike’s Marbleopolis.

6456 GUADALUPE MINES Rd, San Jose, CA 95120 | MLS# 80947514
6456 GUADALUPE MINES Rd San Jose, CA 95120
Price: $1,688,800

Beds: 5
Baths: 4
Sq. Ft.: 3,857
$/Sq. Ft.: $438
Lot Size: 1.36 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Mediterranean
Stories: 2
View: Green Belt, Mountains
Year Built: 1996
Community: Almaden Valley
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80947514
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 15 days
WOW!!! Fabulous Mediterranean Villa surrounded by mature Valley Oak trees. Expansive lawn plus areas to practice golf, a vineyard with 300 vines of premium cabernet grapes, & a regulation size volleyball court. Private setting with scenic landscaping. You will fall in love with this very unique home! Great for entertaining! Los Gatos Schools! Open House: Oct. 18 2:00-4:00

Thanks to Burbed reader Nomadic for this find.

Wow. Who lives here? The Pope? Just look at those columns. Ooh la la! Look how elegant that staircase looks as a result. Is this house shipped over from Italy?

But wait… there’s more! There’s this one:

And that one!

With columns like those in the bedroom, you won’t need any help because… heck… you’ve got columns!

So now you too can live in the San Jose Whitehouse. All you need are these columns.

788 Clara Dr, Palo Alto, CA 94303 | MLS# 80927131
788 Clara Dr Palo Alto, CA 94303
Price: $1,550,000

Beds: 5
Baths: 3.5
Sq. Ft.: 2,915
$/Sq. Ft.: $532
Lot Size: 5,663 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 2
Year Built: 1954
Community: Midtown
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80927131
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending With Release
On Redfin: 138 days
BEST $$$$ PER SQ. FT VALUE FOR THIS SIZE HOME IN MIDTOWN! NOT REPRODUCABLE! EXPANDED AND REMODELED. RECENT UPDATES. FLOWING FLRPLN W/ ABUNDANT NTRL LT. DRAMATIC 17 FT FRML ENTRY. GLEAMING HW FLRS, CUSTM MLDGS, RECSD LTNG ABOUND! LRG FDR W/ CSTM BLT-INS. HUGE LR, KIT, SEP FR FLOW TO LRG PRVT YARD W/ FLGSTONE PATIO, LAWN, & SUNDECK! WALKING DISTANCE TO TOP RATED P. A. SCHLS, PRKS, SPNG, TRNS. EZ COMMUTE TO 101 OR 280!

Thanks to Burbed reader Galileo for this find!

This house is not reproducable – or reproducible! The fact that it is built with such loving care in Palo Alto prevents that from happening.

Frankly, I think this is significantly underpriced, which probably explains why it’s pending already! It’s got so much going for it. Heck, even the house number is lucky! I bet there 32109 bids, and still growing. $532 per square foot? What a tease!

However, what really makes this house not reproducable, is the neighbors! Let’s take a quick walk down the street to meet one!

Oh excellent! There’s an antique car collector down the street! In fact, it’s right next door!

This will provide for a fantastic learning experience for your children. In between MyTwitFace, they can learn how to change a carburetor air filter, and find empties for recycling! Now that’s diversity!

They’ll also learn about fairness – for example, how your children’s parents will be paying $15,000 a year in property tax while their neighbor pays one order of magnitude less – $1,370. Hey, after all, 780 Clara Street helped build this community. They’ve earned it.

20915 PANORAMA Dr, Los Gatos Mtns, CA 95033 | MLS# 80936533
20915 PANORAMA Dr Los Gatos Mtns, CA 95033
Price: $2,287,000

Beds: 3
Baths: 3.5
Sq. Ft.: 5,650
$/Sq. Ft.: $405
Lot Size: 5.09 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: Tri-Level
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley
Year Built: 2006
Community: Los Gatos Mountains
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80936533
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 83 days
BONUS A classic 1996 Porsche Carrera C4S-collector’s item! Included if property in contract by Oct 31, 2009 & NEW PRICE! Stunning contemporary home w/ spectacular views from every room; decks on 3 levels; gourmet kitchen with espresso machine, Sub Zero, Thermador, Miele appliances; Exquisitely finished with exotic hardwoods, 17′ windows, granite, marble; Fabulous baths; den/study; 5 acres-private

Thanks to Burbed reader Herve for this find!

Let’s face it – this house was an amazing deal to begin with. Amazing views, 5 acres, gourmet kitchen with SubZero, Thermador, and Miele appliances.

But as a sign of generosity the seller is even throwing in a free 1996 Porsche Carrera C4S!

So… I think we’re going to need 2 appraisers: 1 for the house, and 1 for the car (how much is that worth)??

Just think about how much fun it will be to drive around your property, in all 4 seasons. Heck, with that many acres, you could build your own test track. You’ve always wanted to be Jay Leno! Now’s your chance!

I think this might just be the start of a trend…

4160 RIVERMARK Pkwy, Santa Clara, CA 95054 | MLS# 80942064
4160 RIVERMARK Pkwy Santa Clara, CA 95054
Price: $1,145,888

Beds: 5
Baths: 3.5
Sq. Ft.: 2,989
$/Sq. Ft.: $383
Lot Size: 3,484 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 2
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 2003
Community: Santa Clara
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80942064
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 48 days
Regular Sale; NOT REO; NOT Short Sale either! LAST CALL. .. if you would EVER consider making a move to own this beautiful single family home in the best Rivermark location! (FYI—we countered 5 written offers & in addition, rejected at least 6 other verbal offers prior to the written ones. )

Thanks to Burbed reader Jenny for this find.

My oh my. What a peculiar find.

For the past few years, Bay Area real estate ads have been missing the chutzpah, the bravado, the essence, the soul that it used to have. Whatever happened to the good old days when Sellers could require Buyers to sign contracts saying they would feed the neighborhood squirrels… or to undergo a background check to ensure they have the right character to own your condo… or to have the buyer’s children paint them a picture.

Well… if this house is a sign of the times, then good times are coming back.

Let’s face it… nothing drives buyers more crazy than being told they can’t have something – and that’s what this house is doing. It’s a big ol’ F you to the buyer. And the buyer will want it even more.

Better offer $2 million – because this house won’t be yours anyway.