April 1, 2010

100K salary and $500K in bank

It’s search engine result page Thursday!

Recently someone found this site by searching for: “100K salary and $500K in bank

And that, my friends, is why Bay Area house prices simply cannot possibly drop.

First, we all know that $100k is almost what the starting salary is for a person with a MS degree in CS from Stanford. And let’s face it, who doesn’t have a MS degree from Stanford these days? Ok… not even close to starting salary? Then 3 years afterwards – that you have to agree with.

Next, who doesn’t have $500k in the bank, after 3 years of working? You eat breakfast, lunch, dinner at work. You only wear free t-shirts from work. You bike to work. You don’t go on vacation because you don’t need to – you live in the Bay Area. You call your parents and they send you a suitcase of cash. Boom! $500k easily!

With $100k in salary, and $500k in the bank, you can easily afford a $1-1.1M house. No problemo.

What? You don’t have $500k in the bank? Where did it go?

Comments (152) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:07 am

152 Responses to “100K salary and $500K in bank”

  1. 3rd Generation Says:

    “100K salary and $500K in bank”

    Gee, why do that when you can be a highly paid real estate blogger OR any Bay Area city starting fireman grunt makes more than a Stanford Grad and retires in 20 years. . .

    Gee, i think I’ll go with the blogger Bwa ha ha ha

  2. anon Says:

    lol – 500k in the bank is pretty common place.

    That’s why a $3,500 credit provides so much incentive to buy a home!

  3. madEstater Says:

    Who needs $500K in the bank? Little people who need mortgages to qualify (and become wage-slaving homedebtors)? Don’t typical RBA buyers pay all cash anyway?

  4. anon Says:

    Most of them, yeah. That’s how you can tell who is an imposter like real estater.

  5. madhaus Says:

    I bet it never occurred to RE that he could buy my house for a million three and rent it back to me while I add his Campbell crapbox (and two others) to my vast real estate portfolio.

    Everybody wins!

  6. John Says:

    I bet more people have half a mil than we think. When foreclosures hit, cash offers were all over the place.

  7. Zak Says:

    John,

    When buyers pay 1M for a home, sellers get 1M (minus commission) in the bank. The first 500K of capital gains is tax free.

    Unless the seller moved to a bigger house in RBA, I am sure they are left with 500K+ in the bank.

    I live outside California and many of my neighbors are people who cashed out in California and bought 4000+ square feet homes for 450K. Some of them paid all cash.

  8. SEA Says:

    “When buyers pay 1M for a home, sellers get 1M (minus commission) in the bank. The first 500K of capital gains is tax free.”

    There is a tax basis as well as underlying debt to consider.

  9. Alex Says:

    $500K in the bank is nothing. I wipe my ass with that much every day.

  10. Real Estater Says:

    The economic recovery is undeniable now:

    Jobs, manufacturing reports boost stock market

    Rising factory output points to economy’s recovery

  11. Real Estater Says:

    $500K is a fairly common down payment in higher end neighborhoods. It’s not considered big money in the Bay Area.

  12. Real Realtard Says:

    “The economic recovery is undeniable now”

    Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet. All clear for take off!!!

  13. SEA Says:

    “$500K is a fairly common down payment in higher end neighborhoods. It’s not considered big money in the Bay Area.”

    Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

  14. Petsmart groomer Says:

    Time to go back in time… Our average tech guy was quite mellow back then.

  15. Alex Says:

    $500K is a fairly common down payment in higher end neighborhoods. It’s not considered big money in the Bay Area.

    of course not. $500K is a pittance. Chinaman carries that in his suitcase to go house shopping. East Palo Alto gang-bangers pump out that much in a week from their meth labs. And I wipe my ass with that much daily (it’s not as soft as Charmin though).

  16. nomadic Says:

    I hate to say it, but his first sentence is correct. However, to say $500k isn’t a lot of money is ridiculous.

  17. DreamT Says:

    I agree that Charmin blows the competition.

  18. Real Estater Says:

    >>I hate to say it, but his first sentence is correct. However, to say $500k isn’t a lot of money is ridiculous.

    If you look at RBA real estate, the 1 to 2 million range is the most popular among move-up buyers. Majority of these buyers have at least $500K in the bank, or they wouldn’t be able to buy in this price range.

  19. nomadic Says:

    Interesting find, groomer dude! It looks like the mellow version of the helper was looking for a rental way back then.

  20. SEA Says:

    You give me $500k, and I’ll give you “not a lot of money” in return. It’ll be an even trade.

    I am starting to realize, however, that there are two parts of the United States:

    1. RBA (Where $500k is “not a lot of money.”)
    2. The other 99.9% that’s similar to every other 3rd world country.

  21. Real Estater Says:

    SEA,

    I wouldn’t say 99%, but I’d say a large part of this country is wasteland. Weather is horrible, and life has no style. It’s actually worse than many 3rd world countries. In 3rd world country at least you can hire maids at a reasonable cost.

  22. Real Estater Says:

    groomer,

    I’m still pretty mellow considering the fact that ’08 and ’09 were blockbuster years for me.

  23. nomadic Says:

    RE, where did you live before you came to CA?

  24. SEA Says:

    “I’d say a large part of this country is wasteland.”

    And, let me guess, the wasteland is occupied by minions who consider $500k to be a large amount of cash.

  25. Insecure Techie Says:

    Interesting find, groomer dude! It looks like the mellow version of the helper was looking for a rental way back then.
    —–

    Very good find. Looks like buying investment property was really LONG LONG LONG LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG term plan (and it’s going according to the plan). I guess that why it’s called long term investment – it takes pretty long time to invest.

    Couple of notes in that 2007 post

    Seller moved out of state and was desparate to sell.

    Hmmm, 16 years back. That means around 1991-1992. Does it ring any bell? That was when housing market collapsed in bay area. Seller desperate to sell? Can such a thing happen RBA?

    Don’t really feel all that secure since we don’t have second house for income.

    Very very insecure. I thought this guy can retire anytime (and he only works for frequent flyer miles and salary paystubs).

    Can’t find a decent house to buy and still generate positive cash flow, since median price in Santa Clara County is like $800K (median price house = junk).

    Tsk, tsk, tsk! I guess the only way to generate positive cash flow in RBA – tax evasion.

  26. Insecure Techie Says:

    RE, where did you live before you came to CA?
    —-

    RBA of course. Can people live outside RBA?

  27. Real Estater Says:

    >>RE, where did you live before you came to CA?

    I’ve always been in CA.

  28. Real Estater Says:

    >>Very very insecure.

    Right. Only had $600K in the bank back then.

  29. Insecure Techie Says:

    I’ve always been in CA.
    —–

    That explains why someone can’t spell Manhattan correctly.

  30. Real Estater Says:

    But I can spell Mumbai.

  31. Insecure Techie Says:

    Looks like Petsmart groomer spoiled Faux Estater’s evening of “economic recovery”.

  32. nomadic Says:

    I’ve always been in CA.

    Aha – now I understand!
    I wouldn’t have been too surprised if you had immigrated though.

  33. DreamT Says:

    This instructive then-and-now shows the devastating effects wealth can have on character.

  34. Real Estater Says:

    Really glad someone found an old post. It just goes to prove that everything I’ve been saying is consistent. I’ve always said that’s the price range of home I owned, and that’s the interest rate I got (until I refinanced to an even lower rate). Some people accused me of lying about my zip. Hope that’s put to rest now.

    The other thing to note is that I practice the move-up strategy that I advocated, and from my example it’s easy to see that home value more than doubled every 10 years.

  35. Real Estater Says:

    >>I wouldn’t have been too surprised if you had immigrated though.

    I immigrated from Southern California, and never looked back :-)

  36. Real Estater Says:

    DreamT says,
    >>This instructive then-and-now shows the devastating effects wealth can have on character.

    Wouldn’t you be insecure if you only had $600K in the bank?

  37. DreamT Says:

    I prefer the humbler insecure to the arrogant twit, but I’m sure you’re a nice person in real life.

  38. SEA Says:

    Real Estater-“Some people accused me of lying about my zip. Hope that’s put to rest now.”

    Uh, how did we verify your claims independently? Or is this a case that if you tell a lie long enough, it should be believed.

  39. madhaus Says:

    I prefer the humbler insecure to the arrogant twit, but I’m sure you’re a nice person in real life.

    Then again, I heard a story about a guy whose brother in law would not let him park his “unacceptable car” in the driveway of BIL’s fancy house, or even in front of it. The unacceptable car was a Ford LTD. When I heard it, I thought, OMG, there are real live people just as shallow as the character RE plays.

    He is merely playing. I hope.

  40. Real Estater Says:

    SEA,

    It’s a free country. You can choose to believe it based on circumstantial evidence, or you can choose to be stubborn and live in denial. Either way I have nothing to be gained or lost.

  41. Insecure Techie Says:

    I’m still pretty mellow considering the fact that ‘08 and ‘09 were blockbuster years for me.
    —–

    I guess record income definitely makes someone insecure. Insecurity of 2007 was “several hundred grand higher than 2008″.

  42. Real Estater Says:

    DreamT,

    To be honest, the “arrogance” aspect is your mind playing tricks with yourself. I simply tell things as it really is, and some people just can’t stand the truth. For example, I never gave away my zip until madhaus pushed me to say it. Once I said it, it became arrogance. It’s not easy to please everybody.

  43. SEA Says:

    “Either way I have nothing to be gained or lost.”

    I will need to consult with a psychologist. I’m guess you have something to gain by lying–why else do you do it so much?

  44. DreamT Says:

    RE – You know full well I am referring to your presumption to advice others what’s best for them without having a clue about their situation. I have never attacked you about the “facts” you list on this site, unless they were obvious lies (such as your tax problem blamed on Obama six months too early)

  45. SEA Says:

    Now that I think of it, it’ll probably take a psychiatrist.

  46. Real Estater Says:

    SEA,

    If you hang around long enough, you’ll realize that I never lie about anything. I’ve only been lied about lying.

  47. Real Estater Says:

    >>unless they were obvious lies (such as your tax problem blamed on Obama six months too early)

    Not sure what you’re talking about. I really did have an AMT problem.

  48. Insecure Techie Says:

    For example, I never gave away my zip until madhaus pushed me to say it.
    —-

    Right, Faux Estater only talks about other people’s “no respect at workplace” zipcodes.

  49. SEA Says:

    I am not as diligent as many of the others here, but maybe we can start a list.

    Lie #1: I never lie about anything.

    I think that should always remain lie #1!

  50. DreamT Says:

    #47 – I was referring to this thread of course: http://www.burbed.com/2009/04/07/the-bay-area-mansion-affordability-crisis-is-solved/#comment-43308

  51. Insecure Techie Says:

    If you hang around long enough, you’ll realize that I never lie about anything. I’ve only been lied about lying.
    —–

    He does not need to wait. Faux Estater’s truthiness is well-documented, whether it’s about profession or something else.

  52. madhaus Says:

    SEA, don’t know when you started posting here, as I’ve been on hiatus for a few months. Note: a hiatus, on burbed, is supposed to be just an hour, so I am somewhat misusing the term.

    Anyway, good luck with the list. I hope you have a lot of paper. Otherwise, you’re going to have to install another backup drive.

  53. Real Estater Says:

    DreamT,

    Still not seeing where’s the lie. I was going with Obama’s campaign promise. It had nothing to do with whether he got elected or not.

    Pralay,

    Sorry. Already responded to your lies in the past. Not going to play this game.

  54. DreamT Says:

    RE – It was simply incompetence then? Going by the tax laws that might have been proposed the following year, as opposed to the actual tax laws applicable for the current year? I’ll grant you that, incompetence is usually a better hedge than dishonesty.

  55. SEA Says:

    Real Estater-

    Why do so many people make claims about your veracity?

  56. Real Estater Says:

    SEA,

    Because they can’t handle the truth.

  57. Real Estater Says:

    DreamT,

    As of this year I still paid AMT. It’s the politician who lied rather than me.

  58. SEA Says:

    Someone is living in a fantasy world!

  59. SEA Says:

    “It’s the politician who lied rather than me.”

    Congress is more than a single politician.

  60. Insecure Techie Says:

    Not going to play this game.
    —-

    Great! I can continue to play without opposition.

  61. Real Estater Says:

    Pralay,

    That’s right. You can continue to play with yourself.

  62. Insecure Techie Says:

    I’ll grant you that, incompetence is usually a better hedge than dishonesty.
    —–

    Reminds me Alberto Gonzales’s “I don’t recall” moment. He figured that showing incompetence (now knowing anything, not remembering anything) is better than being proven as liar.

  63. SEA Says:

    Real Estater Says: “As of this year I still paid AMT.”

    Let face facts, the AMT is a small price to pay to live in the Bay area. Hopefully your tax bill won’t be too many small sums of cash. How many small $500k stacks does it take?

  64. madhaus Says:

    Wow. I know we’re all enjoying the battle of wits, but I really hate to fight an unarmed man.

  65. SEA Says:

    It’s worse to pick on small children.

  66. DreamT Says:

    Madhaus, it’s really nice to have you back. Now drop the BFG, slowly.

  67. Real Estater Says:

    SEA,

    Getting back to what started this whole conversation, $500K is not a whole lot of money in our neck of the woods. Even an average tech guy like me can put aside after that much after the house has already been bought. It didn’t make me feel particularly rich.

  68. SEA Says:

    Just look at it this way: Paying $500k in taxes is not a lot. And two times not a lot, well, is still not a lot.

  69. Real Estater Says:

    madhaus,

    Somebody was looking for a redhead. Are you a redhead?

  70. DreamT Says:

    wow RE goes personal, it means he’s pissed off. Let’s not mention wits again.

  71. anon Says:

    reap estater is trash.

  72. Petsmart groomer Says:

    You can’t spell ‘outwitted’ without ‘twit’.

  73. madhaus Says:

    madhaus,

    Somebody was looking for a redhead. Are you a redhead?

    Does that look red to you, Einstein?

  74. madhaus Says:

    madhaus,
    Somebody was looking for a redhead. Are you a redhead?

    Does that look red to you, Einstein?

  75. madhaus Says:

    Ha ha. It’s not letting me post. The moderation software knows I’m working on that easter egg hunt.

  76. madhaus Says:

    You can’t spell anything on this thread. I had to go to New Jersey.

  77. the truth will set you free Says:

    there was a guy on another forum that i read often, that lied like crazy.

    a small handful suspected the lies but weren’t certain. i actually had no clue, although i look back and can see some strong signals. he was pretty consistent with his stories – but he told big stories.

    he was good at it, a regular contributor for 5 or 6 years before we finally found out his real identity. it was a big fucking deal sort of like learning about the twist at the end of Sixth Sense with bruce willis and haley joel osment. he unfortunately left after we outed him.

    there’s been three or four other guys on the same forum that lied about stuff and got found out. their lies were more obvious and everyone jumped on them quickly. these guys didn’t have the brains to pull it off

    RE’s in the latter category. not smart enough to lie well but interestingly he (and his alto egos; silly valley shopper and kicked dog) decides to stay.

    i find RE entertaining. hope he sticks around.

    p.s. there’s tons of guys that lie on the internet. here’s seven guys that lie about their fighting prowess:
    http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-fighters-who-lied-their-way-to-legendary
    they’re easy to spot if you know what to look for.

  78. Real Estater Says:

    There’s definitely too much personal focus here. Instead of talking about the issues, people are wasting time focusing on personal stuff.

  79. DreamT Says:

    since you established that 1/2 M is a non-issue in the RBA, what’s the issue at hand exactly? (besides Madhaus’ hair color)

  80. anon Says:

    I believe SEA called into question the veracity of real estater’s postings.

  81. madhaus Says:

    I believe everyone who ever posted on this site has called into question the veracity of RealEstater’s postings.

  82. madEstater Says:

    There’s definitely too much personal focus here. Instead of talking about the issues, people are wasting time focusing on personal stuff.

    Like my hair color.

  83. DreamT Says:

    #78 – That’s indeed how #74 and the rest of us identify Real Estater’s avatar attempts. They are the “posters” who unflappably endorse him from their very first post onwards, while refusing to engage into any meaningful conversation .

  84. Real Estater Says:

    Since #75, there hasn’t been any meaningful conversation. Just a bunch of junk.

  85. DreamT Says:

    Indeed – the legacy of #75’s stunning hypocrisy!

  86. Real Estater Says:

    Folks, rampant overbidding in Palo Alto! Check it out.

  87. Real Estater Says:

    Overbidding is common in Cupertino!

  88. SEA Says:

    “Folks, rampant overbidding in Palo Alto! Check it out.”

    Who wants to buy in a period of overbidding?

  89. Real Estater Says:

    >>Who wants to buy in a period of overbidding?

    Right. Who want’s to buy when there’s overbidding? Who wants to buy when there’s market downturn? There’s always an excuse not to do something.

  90. Real Estater Says:

    Boy, it’s almost like I wrote a script for the future:

    Employers added most jobs in 3 years in March

    The increase in payrolls is the latest sign that the economic recovery is gaining momentum and healing in the job market is beginning.

    The typical suspects here were skeptical a month back when I said the job market was improving. I even told them this item will soon make its way to the news.

  91. nomadic Says:

    Who want’s to buy when there’s overbidding? Who wants to buy when there’s market downturn? There’s always an excuse not to do something.

    You would know that better than anyone else. (Too lazy to Pralay that with links…)

    #86 – that is indeed a good sign, however, the unemployment rate remains unchanged for the third (or was it fourth?) straight month. For every job gained, another is lost.

  92. madEstater Says:

    The typical suspects here were skeptical a month back when I said the job market was improving. I even told them this item will soon make its way to the news.

    Can anyone here find a time that RE didn’t say the job market was improving? Besides, it’s always a great time to buy when the deadwoods are trimmed.

  93. Pralay Says:

    Right. Who want’s to buy when there’s overbidding? Who wants to buy when there’s market downturn? There’s always an excuse not to do something.
    —–

    Of course there is an excuse for not to do anything, as described here.

  94. Pralay Says:

    Can anyone here find a time that RE didn’t say the job market was improving?
    —–

    Well, when companies were laying off people, our “helper” said that it’s a healthy sign because they are cleaning up dead woods.

    It’s very unfortunate that companies are hiring back those “dead woods” again.

  95. madhaus Says:

    #87. Love your using Pralay as a verb to mean linking to an older comment demolishing an obvious falsehood.

    We should come up with a few others.

    Herve (v.i., v.t.): To respond to a comment with much wit and intelligence using the fewest words. Herveing is similar to writing APL code.

    A Lewis (v.i, v.t.) Opposite of Herve.

    nomadicked (v.t.) Only used in past tense. To have been efficiently taken down by a mix of supported facts, subtle put-down, and cheery efficiency.

    Alex: (v.i., v.t.) 1. To post in a manner that pushes boundaries beyond group norms for civility or propriety, with just enough humor to only offend half of the audience. 2. To challenge the moderator over house rules. 3. (Var) To be real. 4. (Var) To be unreal, such as a grinning feline.

    madhaus: (v.t) 1. To catelog a group by their characteristic behavior in an amusing way. 2. To compose songs spontaneously, usually about members of a group. 3. (v.i.) To go on hiatus for months without warning.

    RealEstater — See Realtard.

  96. nomadic Says:

    Bravo!

  97. Real Estater Says:

    A good quarter for VCs

    Venture capitalists had their busiest quarter in recent memory, with nine venture-backed companies going public and a record-breaking 111 companies changing hands in mergers and acquisitions according to a report released Thursday by Thomson Reuters and the National Venture Capital Association.

  98. SEA Says:

    Real Estater-“There’s always an excuse not to do something.”

    And if something is “not buy a house,” then it clearly follows that:

    There’s always an excuse not to do ‘not buy a house.’

    Which is logically equivalent to,

    There’s always an excuse to buy a house.

  99. Alex Says:

    madhouse,

    if i only offend 50% of the people here, that’s not very good. gotta get that to 90% at least.

  100. steve Says:

    madhaus, your comment in #91 is brilliant! thanks for the hearty laugh. bravo indeed.

  101. Petsmart groomer Says:

    RealEstater (v.i., v.t.): 1. To make a statement based solely on a Yahoo! or Mercury News title. 2. To quote such an article without understanding it fully.

  102. DreamT Says:

    synonyms: to Roger ; to Chuck ; to longingly console a crying stranger in an airplane, then brag about it online

  103. madhaus Says:

    RealEstater (v.i., v.t.): 1. To make a statement based solely on a Yahoo! or Mercury News title. 2. To quote such an article without understanding it fully.

    Oh good, I wanted more people to play this game. If I may make a slight amendment?

    2. To quote such an article without understanding it in the slightest.

  104. madhaus Says:

    nomadic, steve, thank you very very much.

    Alex, yes, please aim much higher instead of splattering all over the damned toilet seat.

  105. anon Says:

    “RealEstater (v.i., v.t.): 1. To make a statement based solely on a Yahoo! or Mercury News title. 2. To quote such an article without understanding it fully.”

    Correction: without even reading anything past the headline.

  106. Alex Says:

    Alex, yes, please aim much higher instead of splattering all over the damned toilet seat.

    Would it please you if I aim higher and bounce it off the cover onto the toilet seat? If it suits my mood, I do aim to please. LOL

  107. anon Says:

    Real Estater: To insist a course of stupid course of action is an intelligent one with much bravado.

  108. Petsmart groomer Says:

    Alex flirting with the orange-haired guitar-playing Sunnyvaler… Only on burbed! :-)

  109. anon Says:

    Alex, are you you foul bachelor frog?

  110. madhaus Says:

    #101: great minds, etc.
    #104: Nah, Alex is much too high-class for me.

  111. Alex Says:

    whoa. who says I’m flirting with anyone here?

    Sheesh. I’m only looking for young, cute red-heads. LOL

  112. Real Estater Says:

    Alex,

    You’re not going to find them by staying home on a Friday night.

  113. DreamT Says:

    maybe he’s using his iTampon from a bar – oh wait it’s only out tomorrow

  114. Alex Says:

    well, Sherlock, I just don’t think they exist.

    We peasants have to get some rest after a long week of hard work. Then tomorrow I’ll go looking for an apartment to rent in Mountain View. (This peasant can’t afford to buy in the RBA.)

  115. Alex Says:

    bars and clubs are so boring now. Santana Row and San Fran get old after a while.

    I need some new distractions. No, not wife and kids. LOL

  116. DreamT Says:

    Alex, have you tried volunteering at a local church or library or whatnot – much less boring and many more redheads.

  117. Petsmart groomer Says:

    For all we know, Real Estater could be a young, cute redhead.

    Alex, try to unpicture that now :-p

  118. Alex Says:

    For all we know, Real Estater could be a young, cute redhead.

    Dude, that is soooo wrong.

  119. Alex Says:

    speaking of volunteer work, I used to belong to this organization called Community Impact back in the mid 90s.

    After being away for school, I came back recently to find that it no longer exists. It’s morphed into something called Hands On Bay Area. Anyway, they’ve made volunteer work more cumbersome.

  120. Petsmart groomer Says:

    > Dude, that is soooo wrong.

    We may all be young, cute redheads. Little did you know that burbed is actually a website for young, cute redheads and Asians to hook up. Unfortunately the safe word was “wipe my ass” and you said it too many times. You’re not gonna get any now :-)

  121. DreamT Says:

    Spoken like a true Pet Groomer

  122. madhaus Says:

    #118: Post of the day.

  123. madhaus Says:

    D’oh! I meant #116, you cute redheaded pet groomer!

  124. Petsmart groomer Says:

    Looks like I’m rubbing everyone the right way…

  125. nomadic Says:

    Redheaded pet groomer? I thought she was Asian…

  126. Real Estater Says:

    >>Alex, have you tried volunteering at a local church or library or whatnot – much less boring and many more redheads.

    LOL. Alex, you need a better strategy than that. Here are a few basic pointers:

    1. Get out of renting asap. Renters can’t compete with owners.
    2. Look for a job function that doesn’t confine you to a limited routine. If there’s no opportunity to travel, forget it.
    3. Move into a management role instead of individual contributor. You get to meet more people, do recruiting, etc. You might even be able to hire a redhead.
    4. Create a style about you that looks the part. It could be anything that interests you e.g. a car, a watch, leather jacket, etc. I’m making these up, but you get the idea. Don’t be a dork and drive a Mazda 5.

    Basically, these are the guiding principles:
    1. Nesting instinct is biological (therefore be a owner/provider and not a renter)
    2. You’ll spend more time at your job than at any bar (therefore #2 and 3 above)
    3. Superficiality scores brownie points. Don’t ask why; ask why not.

  127. Alex Says:

    Faux Estater, thanks for taking interest in my bachelor life.

    1) I can and will rent a nice bachelor pad. No need to own a house and get owned by the banks.

    2) Sorry, my job demands routine. I work 8-5 and clean up after people’s fvck-ups. They call me the Cleaner. It’s got its own little perks. Occasionally I find a loose quarter here and there.

    3) Not all of us can be in management roles. Some of us have to do real work and clean up after people, especially the management type who pretends to know what they’re doing, bullsh*ts their way around all day, and fcks up constantly. If we have any extra funding next year, I could ask my colleagues to hire a redhead secretary but that is an inefficient way to live my adventures. I mean, how will I get rid of her after I’m done? Everybody is unionized these days.

    4) Style. Already have one — I bait chicks who like men in uniform. My maintenance worker uniform has gotten a few bites, most of them rat bites i think.

  128. Tuno Says:

    #122 – eeewwwwwwww.

    when I met my husband he was a grad student; he didn’t even own a car. if you wear a jacket to impress chicks, you’ll get chicks that are impressed by jackets.

    If I were a guy in this area who wanted to meet chicks (trying to wrap head around this), I’d take a class at the Middlefield campus of Foothill. loads of women, and not so crowded and busy as the main campus. an art class would be best.

  129. Real Estater Says:

    The last suggestion I’ll make on this topic is to consider owning a dog. Walk the dog around parks, dog parks, Stanford Mall or University Ave.. Walla, instant chick magnet and conversation piece.

  130. anon Says:

    “when I met my husband he was a grad student; he didn’t even own a car. if you wear a jacket to impress chicks, you’ll get chicks that are impressed by jackets.”

    Well said. Alex, I’m sure you know this but if you take real estater’s advice, you will wind up with chicks who are as petty and stupid as he.

  131. Alex Says:

    Can I just rent a dog instead? I don’t believe in commitments. Not until I find the right woman, anyway.

  132. nomadic Says:

    Sure Alex – just ask a friend if you can walk his/her dog for them! :-)

    Nice post, Tuno. Stated quite diplomatically as well, diffusing some of the heat we’d dump on RE otherwise.

  133. anon Says:

    Lol good idea nomadic.

    Alex – if you can borrow a friend’s infant child, all the better ;)

  134. nomadic Says:

    A kid, anon? The chicks will automatically assume he’s happily married.

  135. Real Estater Says:

    Tuno says,
    >>when I met my husband he was a grad student

    I don’t think grad school is a viable option for the crowd we have here.

    >>if you wear a jacket to impress chicks, you’ll get chicks that are impressed by jackets.

    That’s probably OK for Alex. He’s not much of a catch himself anyways.

  136. Alex Says:

    Alex – if you can borrow a friend’s infant child, all the better

    Bad idea. I was playing with my new camera and took lots of photos of my infant nephew. This one chick I dated for a bit thought he was my son and that I had a wife hidden somewhere. WTF. Let’s just say she didn’t last very long.

    Faux Estater said, “That’s probably OK for Alex. He’s not much of a catch himself anyways.”

    I know. We lowly working people aren’t much of a catch.

    On another note, I just went apartment hunting and met this really cute “leasing specialist.” She’s not a redhead but maybe her brown hair will turn redder during the sunnier summer months :) I may have to go back.

  137. Real Estater Says:

    Alex,

    Here’s a better idea for you. Check out the ratings — 5 stars all the way.

  138. Alex Says:

    I tried that already. It’s a scam. Just like the real estate mantra of “buy now or be priced out forevahhhh!”

  139. nomadic Says:

    Quite the businessman, RE. Haven’t you heard that the p0rn industry is really struggling now that everyone can get it for free online?

    Time to find another vice to profit from.

  140. Real Estater Says:

    I don’t think Alex was looking to make money.

  141. Alex Says:

    Dude, I’d like to have a little fun but I’m not into hoochies or skanks. Ewww. I’d prefer my women to be intelligent but with a little naughty streak. LOL

  142. Real Estater Says:

    Who says it’s hoochies or skanks? It’s a recognized, accepted, and legal way to live your life.

  143. Real Estater Says:

    Alex,

    If you prefer the more traditional route, then check in with Pralay regarding his arranged marriage.

  144. SEA Says:

    It may be recognized, accepted and legal, but it’s still an industry filled with hoochies and skanks.

  145. DreamT Says:

    SEA, don’t burst RE’s bubble. He holds the industry in such high regard. May even have collected a trophy from it at one point, so we hear?

  146. Alex Says:

    Who says it’s hoochies or skanks? It’s a recognized, accepted, and legal way to live your life.

    The porn industry is recognized and legal. But that doesn’t mean that they’re not skanks or hoochies. Your logic is terrible.

  147. Real Estater Says:

    Alex,

    I was merely quoting our good friend DreamT. Yes, this is the same guy who recommended that you go volunteer at church.

  148. anon Says:

    “Tuno says,
    >>when I met my husband he was a grad student

    I don’t think grad school is a viable option for the crowd we have here.”

    From the horses’s mouth… lol

  149. DreamT Says:

    #147 – Indeed, Trophy Bunny. Good advice can go hand in hand with respect of the law. But we do realize you have a problem with both.

  150. Alex Says:

    wtf is a trophy bunny? is that a rabbit that you shoot and stuff as a trophy? LOL

  151. DreamT Says:

    Alex, weren’t you aware of this seminal comment from our most fertile poster?

  152. Alex Says:

    Ahhh that explains why i’m a low scorer. I need to get me more mates.


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