REFINANCE ONE OF YOUR OTHER PROPERTIES AND PAY CASH!!!
Thanks to Burbed reader madhaus for this guest post!
309 Beach Drive, Rio Del Mar/Seascape CA, 95003
$439,000
309 BEACH Dr Rio Del Mar / Seascape, CA 95003
Beds: 5 Baths: 3 Sq. Ft.: 1,776 $/Sq. Ft.: $247 Lot Size: 4,791 Sq. Ft. Property Type: Detached Single Family Stories: 2 View: Ocean Community: Rio Del Mar/Seascape County: Santa Cruz MLS#: 80709410 Source: MLSListings Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers. On Redfin: 1172 days 20% INTEREST FOR SALE, GORGEOUS BEACH DR. LOCATION, HOME IS UPDATED AND MAINTAINED IMPECCABLY. REFINANCE ONE OF YOUR OTHER PROPERTIES AND PAY CASH!!!MAKE MEMORIES WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS GORGEOUS BEACH DR. LOCATION, HOME IS UPDATED AND MAINTAINED IMPECCABLY. REFINANCE ONE OF YOUR OTHER PROPERTIES AND PAY CASH!!!
Nothing says “this property’s going up on Burbed” like a description in ALL-CAPS. Refusing to turn off the CapLocks key leaves a potential buyer feeling like they’ve had a megaphone shoved up an ear. Maybe the agent used to work at Western Union composing telegrams, because I don’t see the period key except for an abbreviation. So while we’re deafened by the approach, let’s look at what we’re being offered.
Well, whatever the offer is, it’s overpriced, even for a beach house that’s across the street from the beach. How do I know this? Simple:
On Redfin: 1172 days
1172 days? As in three and a half years? Is this a record? I don’t know, but Should I wait for a price reduction?
![clip_image001[5]](http://www.burbed.com/wp-content/uploads/clip_image0015.jpg "clip_image001[5]")
I’m not sure. According to this graph I should wait 28 more days, and then wait for 40 price reductions.
And remember, if the agent can’t think of anything better to say than “MAKE MEMORIES WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS,” then you know the property has a problem. And in this case the problem is you are not being sold a beach house. You are being sold a 20% share in a beach house. And that means that you get the house on Tuesdays and every third Wednesday.
Still want the house? It’s in a flood and a fault zone! Too bad the nuclear plant’s in another zip code.
May 21st, 2010 at 8:09 am
so this property is worth $2.2M?
May 21st, 2010 at 8:24 am
Maybe instead of price reductions, the owner has made the home bigger, in the form of increasing the ownership percentage. At the start, my guess is that for $439k you’d only get 15% of $2.9M, but today you get 33% more, 20% of $2.2M, for the same money, and thus the price has gone down by $700k.
May 21st, 2010 at 8:27 am
so this property is worth $2.2M?
This place was listed in 2007 for $439,000. For a 1/5 interest. Then the sellers forgot about it because the price hasn’t been changed since. Clearly they’re too busy making memories with family and friends.
So I figure after the 40 price reductions, the property is actually worth $220K.
May 21st, 2010 at 8:35 am
GREAT FIND, MADHAUS!
> HOME IS UPDATED AND MAINTAINED IMPECCABLY
REALLY? I DON’T SEE THAT ON ANY OF THE PICTURES… AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE FURNITURE. THEY COULD NOT EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE A PICTURE WITHOUT A CAR DRIVING BY.
May 21st, 2010 at 9:05 am
A place like this could use a proper virtual tour to show off the property. I would be happy to find someone to do it for your. Go to my site and give me a call.
May 21st, 2010 at 9:13 am
Hey, it’s a Realtypo! I have a feeling your work has been featured here a few times.
May 21st, 2010 at 10:44 am
A place like this could use a proper virtual tour to show off the property. I would be happy to find someone to do it for your. Go to my site and give me a call.
Hey, K. Germond, or should I call you Kirt? That’s quite a site you have there, Kirt. Why do you have all your text embedded in Flash? Do you want potential customers to see a blank web page when they visit your site? Because that’s what happens if they’re running FlashBlock.
Although with writing like this:
Please to your Tourfactory portal page? Please what to it? Maybe you misspelled pleas? Does that mean the portal page is even worse?
I mean, heck, you only posted three sentences on burbed, and you managed to munge one of them:
You would be happy to find someone to do it for my what?
But I figured, maybe photography is your strength rather than copywriting. So I checked out your Tourfactory page as you had suggested. So many houses to choose from, I didn’t know where to start!
Okay, today’s house is listed for $439,000 so let’s look at the $498,500 place in Whittier.
Wow! You really love that fish-eye lens, don’t you! It makes the kitchen tile look so… um… concave! Where are the “high quality panorama photographs and still images”? (Isn’t a photograph a still image? Just checking.) A panoramic photo would have worked better in the kitchen, but then we couldn’t enjoy those lovely arcs in the tile and the cool effect it had on the plaid couch in the second bedroom!
Kirt, you do realize that nobody on this site owns the beach house, don’t you? And I’d say it’s a safe assumption that nobody here wants to buy it either. It’s been listed for three and a half years! I would think even a Real Estate Industry type like you should understand that if a house hasn’t sold in three and a half years, it’s got some serious shortcomings. Maybe the house is overpriced (ya think?), or in poor condition, or has structural defects, or a bad location, or the agent is in the hospital with amnesia. Maybe nobody wants to buy a one-fifth interest in a vacation property. Maybe the beach has sharks and jellyfish and BP oil. Maybe this year everyone decided they want a place in the mountains instead.
But I assure you, a house that hasn’t sold in three and a half years isn’t going to generate multiple offers just because of a link to a virtual tour.
So, Kirt, although you cannot help us, maybe we can help you. Have you considered hiring a competent professional to fix your web page up a little? Give us a call, I’m sure we can work something out.
May 21st, 2010 at 10:50 am
madhaus,
Are you even interested in the property, or are you just a tire kicker?
May 21st, 2010 at 10:59 am
RE, I can’t believe you just called K. Germond a tire. What’s the world coming to?
May 21st, 2010 at 11:27 am
Are you even interested in the property, or are you just a tire kicker?
Ah, the either-or fallacy. Better trolls, please.
May 21st, 2010 at 11:39 am
madhaus- I can think of at least one tire that needs to be kicked!
May 21st, 2010 at 12:34 pm
SEA, perhaps it is a Boxster tire?
May 21st, 2010 at 1:11 pm
lol.
Thanks for #7, madhaus. That’s much funnier than today’s featured property. A guess a thanks also goes to K. Germond for the set-up.
May 21st, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Never kick a listing when it’s tired, and this listing is so very tired.
May 21st, 2010 at 1:51 pm
I think #7 represents a very bored person with nothing better to do than to poke at a property she has no interest in buying.
May 21st, 2010 at 1:57 pm
I can understand it if she talks about Palo Alto, where she hopes to buy one day, but Rio del Mar? Where the hell on Mars is it?
May 21st, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Looks like #15 completely missed the entire point of this website. How odd.
May 21st, 2010 at 2:36 pm
I think #7 represents a very bored person with nothing better to do than to poke at a property she has no interest in buying.
—–
I think #15 represents a very bored person with nothing better to do than pretending to be helper.
And guess what, nobody wants his help.
May 21st, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Looks like #15 completely missed the entire point of this website. How odd.
As did #5. Happens a lot. Maybe this website needs a disclaimer.
May 21st, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Looks like #15 completely missed the entire point of this website. How odd.
—–
That explains why he posts all the “Good News”.
May 21st, 2010 at 2:41 pm
#16, I thought “we all agreed” we weren’t going to talk about Palo Alto.
May 21st, 2010 at 2:42 pm
As did #5. Happens a lot. Maybe this website needs a disclaimer.
—-
#5 is another “helper” who will be happy to help us to get a virtual tour.
May 21st, 2010 at 2:49 pm
#5 is another “helper” who will be happy to help us to get a virtual tour.
#5 needs help with his website. Maybe #15 could “help” by improving the copy, getting rid of the flash, and adding more virtual tours with some more appropriate panorama photographs and still images. An “average tech guy” should be able to manage.
That leaves the rest of us free to be of more help to others who don’t understand the purpose of this website.
May 21st, 2010 at 4:11 pm
An “average tech guy” should be able to manage.
—-
But in “summar”, he will be too busy managing his “mega-prject”
May 21st, 2010 at 5:15 pm
But in “summar”, he will be too busy managing his “mega-prject”
Yeah but right now he is too preoccupied with his fear that Alex is getting more than he is.
May 21st, 2010 at 5:36 pm
And there’s the opinion of a 50 year old lady. Anybody want to check her profile? Alex?
May 21st, 2010 at 5:46 pm
What’s your point Real Estater?
May 21st, 2010 at 5:59 pm
What’s your point Real Estater?
His point is that nobody on this blog has any respect for him, and everyone is getting more than him, and it so pisses him off.
Question: If Alex boinked a redhead and an Asian at an unimpressive house on a busy street next to power lines and railroad tracks in an unrespectable ZIP code, does the steam coming out of RE’s ears make a noise?
May 21st, 2010 at 5:59 pm
maryjane,
Why don’t you ask madhaus about #25 first?
May 21st, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Funny how the most frustrated, bitter and antagonistic person on this board is the one who supposedly has a 94301 residence, a trophy mate & diploma and a Porsche. There’s got to be a life lesson behind this.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:15 pm
DreamT,
I was just going to say the most frustrated, bitter and antagonistic person on this board toward Real Estater is madhaus. I don’t get the increased frequency of her unprovoked attacks. If it’s monthly, I can understand, but it’s a lot more frequent than that. I guess at around 50 she already passed her milestone.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:17 pm
You’re the one here constantly baiting people. All day every day, Friday and Saturday nights… Must be pretty sweet to be a real estater…
May 21st, 2010 at 6:20 pm
anon,
Show me where did I bait you today?
May 21st, 2010 at 6:22 pm
#31 – madhaus has never attacked me nor much of anybody else. Plus she writes almost as well as Stepford. Maybe you’re asking for it unawares?
May 21st, 2010 at 6:24 pm
#31 – madhaus has never attacked me nor much of anybody else. Plus she writes almost as well as Stepford. Maybe you’re asking for it unawares?
Almost as well? That does it. I’m going to have to ask you to step outside… because I’m turning my amp up to 11 and you might hurt your ears.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Ah, the weekend – and another glimpse into the black hole of RE’s soul. By the time you’re 50 will you have collected enough status symbols to make you happy?
May 21st, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Good point, maryjane… it’s the WEEKEND! Hey, how about we all go in together on this beach house I heard about! I think it’s got a mortgage with 20% interest. That’s good, right?
May 21st, 2010 at 6:32 pm
but is it safe to cross the Santa Cruz mountain to get there? A horse told me otherwise today.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:35 pm
madhaus,
Shouldn’t you be cooking now?
May 21st, 2010 at 6:37 pm
DreamT,
Are you blind? madhaus started the conflict here by attacking Kirt in #7.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:39 pm
maryjane says,
>>By the time you’re 50 will you have collected enough status symbols to make you happy?
You’re the one who talked about buying a high priced status car. I kept telling you it’s not about the money nor the status.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:42 pm
#40 – Anything in #7 you disagree with? Please expand (or we might start thinking you’re Kirt’s alter ego)
May 21st, 2010 at 6:44 pm
I already gave my opinion about #7, and I don’t think it’s worthwhile to spend more time on it.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:45 pm
I’m glad it isn’t about money or status because I’m getting the distinct impression you’ll never have enough of either.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:47 pm
#43 – You didn’t comment on #7′s content, you instead gave your opinion of its author (in #15), a weasely act.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Just to clarify for maryjane, since she seems to be mislead by the others here…
I’ve not done anything for status. When I buy a certain car, it’s because I like the car. When I bought my house, it had a lot to do with the investment aspect, the schools, and the fact that I like trees a lot. If people attach status to my life choices, that’s their problem.
May 21st, 2010 at 6:49 pm
DreamT,
Are you done with trolling? You’re chasing after something that I find extremely boring.
May 21st, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Watch out maryjane! You’re about to transition from newbie-who-might-be-convinced-I’m-a-reasonable-guy to another-one-of-those-horrible-kids-who-keep-smashing-my-head-into-my-locker.
DreamT,
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can ravage a horse, of course,
That is, of course, unless the horse,
Is tied to a tree of red.
Go right to the source and ask the horse
She’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse.
She’s ratting out that cad so coarse
Who gets nothing in bed.
Bloggers typity type a streak and waste your time of day
But Felton horses never speak unless they have something to say
A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And this one’ll dish and cause a divorce
You never heard this at the bourse?
Well listen to this: She’s getting wed!
May 21st, 2010 at 7:54 pm
#39: Don’t be silly. I’m a Silicon Valley trophy wife. I make reservations every night.
May 21st, 2010 at 8:56 pm
#48 – That’s the one! Trophy horse, a bit hoarse (perforce).
May 21st, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Real Estater- “I’ve not done anything for status.”
What’s this? You have to say you’ve done nothing so that we can think you have status? If you suggested you actually had class, well, using your logic, you’d have no class.
What’s next?
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
May 21st, 2010 at 10:28 pm
Yeah, but what about the horse?
May 22nd, 2010 at 2:09 am
> Funny how the most frustrated, bitter and
> antagonistic person on this board is the one who
> supposedly has a 94301 residence, a trophy mate &
> diploma and a Porsche. There’s got to be a life
> lesson behind this.
the lesson is this is a blog where you can say anything you want without verification.
there’s no way a guy like RE has or will ever have a trophy wife. the hot, sexy smart women have an incredibly fine tuned nose when it comes to smelling “loser” stench. it’s so strong everyone on this board can smell it.
also a trophy wife would never be caught dead with an average tech guy – unless he has an outsized personality which RE certainly does not have.
he has no confidence, wit, or intelligence; it’s impossible to fake these. RE can lie all he wants about what he has(car, house, wife, etc). it’s impossible to lie about who you are at your core – it can’t be faked and is available for everyone to see. the lack of intelligence and real confidence is most glaring. most of the folks on this board can see through the charade.
May 22nd, 2010 at 7:15 am
mike,
You got up at 2AM just to get this off your chest? I’ve already clarified I have never said anything about my wife. If I did the bookkeeper here would’ve issued a link already. Also I’m amused that one moment I’m accused of flaunting status, the next moment I’m being mocked as an average tech guy. Oh by the way, I’m faking my house alright; just ask “techie”.
May 22nd, 2010 at 8:46 am
To get what you’re after, you need to be in porn.
Have you seen the DVD I made with yer wife?
I’m amused that one moment I’m accused of flaunting status, the next moment I’m being mocked as an average tech guy.
Herein lies the problem. You’re a self-proclaimed average tech guy who tries to flaunt your status, your self-importance, and mega-super-duper-multi-timezone projects.
May 22nd, 2010 at 8:52 am
Alex,
You’re an average tech guy. How come you’re not able to buy a car or a house in the right zip to flaunt your status?
May 22nd, 2010 at 9:07 am
Real Estater,
I’m smarter than your average tech guy. I’m smart enough to not drink the Flavor-Aid, buy an overpriced house and be house-poor.
As for a nice car, don’t need one yet. Always had a fetish for a 1965 Shelby Cobra but can’t afford the real thing. Will get a new car soon though.
May 22nd, 2010 at 9:10 am
Alex,
I see a lot of dancing around anything that’s concrete. What do you drive now, and what’s the “new car” that you’re considering?
May 22nd, 2010 at 9:34 am
If it makes you feel better about yourself, I drive a Subaru and I rent. LOL
May 22nd, 2010 at 9:34 am
Alex is a man of fetishes and fantasies. Unfortunately reality sets in and he can’t get any.
May 22nd, 2010 at 9:37 am
I admit, I can’t afford a multimillion dollar collector’s car. But BMWs are easy enough to get.
And I haven’t had any success with a redhead-Alex-Asian sandwich. But haven’t had any problems with yer wife.
LOL
May 22nd, 2010 at 11:36 am
My advice for you is to keep your little fantasies in your own bedroom when you’re with yourself.
May 22nd, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Hey Alex, is RE’s “trophy wife” redheaded or Asian? Because if she’s either, you’ve already got half your sandwich.
May 22nd, 2010 at 12:58 pm
madhaus,
I thought you are already half of the sandwich?
May 22nd, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Come one RE, I already told you Alex is way too hoity-toity for the likes of me. Also no parking at Santana Row.
May 22nd, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Anyways, just hoping you’re the bottom half of his sandwich.
May 22nd, 2010 at 1:34 pm
*the lesson is this is a blog where you can say anything you want without verification*
ha ha ha – I drive a 1996 Honda civic, and I DEFY anyone to prove otherwise! – and the guys at Heinechen’s have kindly reattached my front bumper with a large bolt – betcha can’t show that they havent!!
as someone who would at one point have counted as a trophy wife (too old now, I’m sure:)), I just want to say to Mike that real trophy wives wouldnt *see* things the way he’s describing. since a *real* trophy wife wouldn’t actually be mean. they wouldn’t think of a particular guy as a “loser,” generally. they would just be *more attracted* to other guys. I know, same result more or less, but there is a difference. of course, if they met RE, they *would* think he was a ridiculous dolt.
Subarus are great, but don’t their transmissions go fairly early??
May 22nd, 2010 at 1:41 pm
RE won’t have arrived until he has both a trophy wife AND a trophy girlfriend.
May 22nd, 2010 at 1:52 pm
You know you’re in the wrong circle when the conversation revolves around Subarus and 1996 Honda Civic…
May 22nd, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Perhaps you should leave and never post again.
May 22nd, 2010 at 2:21 pm
anon,
Are you here to boast about your Cayenne again?
May 22nd, 2010 at 2:47 pm
anon, Are you here to boast about your Cayenne again?
He doesn’t have it anymore. I think he said something about selling it at a 28% profit.
Last time I saw him he’d just acquired a 1965 Shelby Cobra.
May 22nd, 2010 at 3:14 pm
And I heard you sold your minivan to help him pay the sales tax. What are you smoking today?
May 22nd, 2010 at 3:41 pm
And I heard you sold your minivan to help him pay the sales tax. What are you smoking today?
#73, you heard a story that utterly whack, and you want to know what I’m smoking?
Do you just go through life having negative reactions when you feel inadequate*, and then routinely accuse others of having them for you? It seems beyond strategic, more like instinctive. Your pathology is utterly amazing.
You’re going to make some psychiatrist’s career someday! S/he will get your personality named after her/him as a syndrome, like Asperger’s or Tourette’s. Too bad it’s unethical to name it after the patient. That would be your best chance for making a name for yourself.
LOL. I still drive a Toyota Sienna. Can you prove otherwise?
I would ask my secretary, Herve, to vouch for it but the last three times we went to Crimson we took his Jaguar or his Land Rover.
*e.g., when you are breathing.
May 22nd, 2010 at 3:51 pm
madhaus,
Maybe when you learn to behave more like a lady, you would get a more positive reaction? That works well in real life too.
May 22nd, 2010 at 4:04 pm
#75 – enough with the ‘act like a lady’ & ‘shouldn’t you be cooking now’ crap. Why don’t you just tattoo “Dickhead” on your forehead and be done with it.
May 22nd, 2010 at 4:23 pm
madhaus,
Take maryjane for example. She’s more refined than you are, and gets a different outcome.
May 22nd, 2010 at 4:36 pm
No, Real Estater – I won’t be your Trophy Mistress!
May 22nd, 2010 at 4:37 pm
maryjane,
Where did you get that idea from?
May 22nd, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Maybe when you learn to behave more like a lady, you would get a more positive reaction? That works well in real life too.
Aww, isn’t that cute, the pot is giving the Steuben vase lessons in transparency.
Now f*ck off.
May 22nd, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Hey Alex, is RE’s “trophy wife” redheaded or Asian? Because if she’s either, you’ve already got half your sandwich.
Neither. But I made sure she had a bag on.
And if getting half a sandwich is all I’m after, I already have it. *sigh*
May 22nd, 2010 at 5:53 pm
You know you’re in the wrong circle when the conversation revolves around Subarus and 1996 Honda Civic…
Faux Estater, many people are confident enough to not brag about their possessions or let their lives revolve around such things.
My 9-year old Subaru serves me just fine. Only have 95K miles on it. Haven’t abused it enough.
May 22nd, 2010 at 5:55 pm
Come one RE, I already told you Alex is way too hoity-toity for the likes of me. Also no parking at Santana Row.
Me? Hoity-toity? Those are fightin’ words =p
And what’s Santana Row parking have to do with me? LOL
May 22nd, 2010 at 7:13 pm
>>Come one RE, I already told you Alex is way too hoity-toity for the likes of me. Also no parking at Santana Row.
Me? Hoity-toity? Those are fightin’ words =p
And what’s Santana Row parking have to do with me? LOL
Ya know, Alex, I’m just havin’ fun here. The technical term for this is “reversal of expectations,” see, you’ve given yourself a lowlife persona, and I’ve given myself this too-smart-for-any-of-ya act, so I thought if I…
Oh, never mind. Here’s the “Santa Row” references. And I thought you cared! <cries and sobs loudly>
(see 10, 12, 14, 16)
May 22nd, 2010 at 10:34 pm
LOL forgot about my transporter comment
May 22nd, 2010 at 10:51 pm
LOL forgot about my transporter comment
I didn’t! I was circling Santa Row for what seemed like hours! Hope you had another sandwich sent in, preferably delivered on a motorcycle.
May 24th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
As for a nice car, don’t need one yet. Always had a fetish for a 1965 Shelby Cobra but can’t afford the real thing. Will get a new car soon though.
Buy a kit car version. 99.9% of the people who see it will never know the difference.
June 2nd, 2010 at 5:04 am
[...] You can lease now and think about buying later! Or you can get a loan from the seller (yes, the same one who couldn’t keep current with his own payments)! TRULY! Heck, the seller needs money so badly, you can buy some of the STUNNING ESTATE if you can’t afford $2.749M. (Although with four separate homes amidst this TRUE SPLENDOR, why don’t you simply REFINANCE ONE OF YOUR OTHER PROPERTIES AND PAY CASH?) [...]
January 11th, 2013 at 10:58 pm
[...] already done a property that was sitting on MLS for four years! And this one for more than [...]