And for your reading pleasure, a guest post from madhaus.
409 Fernando Ave Palo Alto, CA 94306
SQ. FT.: 645
$/SQ. FT.: $1,006
LOT SIZE: 3,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COUNTY: Santa Clara
ON REDFIN: 2 days
Nice and cozy one bedroom/one bath single family home located on a quiet street across from the beautiful Boulware Park. Newly remodeled bathroom and new dual pane windows throughout. Close to shops, restaurants, Stanford University, hospital, and public transportations. Private backyard, no HOA. Single family home for the price of a condo.
Last week, this site reported the startling news that only one ZIP code remained in the RBA (Real Bay Area). That ZIP was South Palo Alto, 94306. So here is an affordable house in the only ZIP worth buying. $649,000? That is better than free. That is like having the owners pay you to take it off their hands! All you have to do is live in this house while you enjoy 11.7% annual gains every year you own your very own RBA house! Best of all, you can feel superior to every other ZIP code in the entire Bay Area.
So what do you get for $649,000? You get the healthiest looking property in the neighborhood. Nothing obese about this svelte lot layout!
You get a house that is absolutely the most Special anywhere. It’s not every home that has a higher number for dollars per square foot ($1006) than… um… actual square footage (645).
Ah, home sweet home… if you can find it in this photo! You won’t find many places with a carport that are daring enough to use a front door good enough for a garage entry! Now, that’s bold! So, just what are the dimensions of this house, anyway? This reminds me of those townhouse blocks that are exactly as wide as a two-car garage… only… smaller.
And at first the lack of windows in front seemed disturbing, but that western exposure would just heat the place up too much. And you’ll need to use every trick to keep cool in the summer, because this house doesn’t have air conditioning, either!
Next, let’s take a look inside! Ah, this must be the kitchen!
Wow! Look at the vintage stove, the Ikea-style cabinetry (long before there was an Ikea!),, the… that is a sink, isn’t it?
Well, on to the living/dining combo!
Can’t you just hear the agent gushing, “Light and bright, light and bright!!!” I suppose if you slap a bunch of titanium-flake white on every surface and turn the lights on in the daytime, that is what you get. Plus a fireplace! Wonder how long that paint job will last if you try using it.
Moving on! Let’s see the bedroom. There’s only one, so it’s important that it’s a nice one.
Whoops! Either that’s a very textured bedspread, or we seem to have walked right past it! Let’s try again.
Hey, how did we end up across the street? This is definitely not included in the 3000 sf lot.
But it’s only $649K, so stop your complaining. If they left the bedroom out, there must be a very good reason. For extra credit, explain how a one bedroom place can be called “single family home,” when a “family” includes at least one adult and one child.
Oh, I almost forgot! Per the listing, there are no homeowners fees associated with this house! That is better than a condo! Now buy this house and you can start watering your own lawn! And pay for the water!