June 25, 2010

What is Dat? Da Playboy Mansion? It’s Ridiculous!

Today’s house is another in our continuing series of seven-digit properties, but the location is a bit of a surprise.  Let’s just say it’s not exactly Real Bay Area.  Thanks to burbed reader sonarrat for this find!

41752 Vargas Rd,  Fremont, CA 94539
$2,875,000

image

Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: 5,237
$/Sq. Ft.: $549
Lot Size: 5 Acres
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Colonial
STORIES: Tri-Level
VIEW: Greenbelt, Hills, Mountains, Panoramic, Valley
Year Built: 1996
Community: Mission
County: Alameda
MLS#: 40461526
Source: EBRD
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 70 days

Stand out Panoramic view, warm and inviting house for any family, huge and usable completely fenced lot with retreat house, gazebo and plenty parking. 2 parcels in one. Automatic gates. 1.2 miles to Mission High. Potential for livestock or horses. http://yefimraysbergrealtor. shutterfly. com

imageFinally!  An expensive house that knows how to say “I got money and power!”  That’s right!  MAWBUL CAWLUMS!  Elegant, stoidy, and boisting with class!  Put them in your living room!  Your kitchen!  Your bathroom!  Your bedroom!  Your driveway!  What you wanna bet the car pullin’ up to dat driveway is a Rolls-Royce?

Hey, lookit dis one!  It’s in da hallway!  How crazy is dat?  Who lives here, da Pope?  Dis place looks like a PALACE!

Imagine going up to your house and seein’ dese and goin’, "Oh, my God! I live here!"

And notice what’s in the dining room?  A Chandelier! Delicate, sparkling, and boisting with CLASS! Nothing says "I’m loaded!" like a CHANDELIER!

image

Look! Are you kiddin’ me? If you had one of dese in your house, you could look like a millionaire! Like da King of England! Like da King of France, or somethin’.  We got one in every room in da house, and yes, dat does include da GARAGE!

If da King of France, or somethin’, lived in Fremont.

Imagine how crazy it would be to say I LIVE HERE!  It seems the agent had a little trouble visualizing it:

image image

imageThe panoramic view and the retreat house look a little bit blurry.  Maybe that’s from drinking all that wine under the chandelier, but look at DIS ONE!  Dere is no excuse for DIS ONE on da right being blurry! 

Notice something in dis room?  Dat’s right!  CAWLUM!

For 2.75 really really big ones, dey could make sure we can see da MAWBUL CAWLUM in da picture!  Ya think?

‘Cause nothin’ sez “I got money and power” like a photo of a MAWBUL CAWLUM.  You can stick dese dings EVERYWHERE!  Can you believe it?  It’s ridiculous!

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

11 Responses to “What is Dat? Da Playboy Mansion? It’s Ridiculous!”

  1. Sio2 Says:

    is this written with a Brooklyn accent? “boisting”

    Is it New York week? Jeffersons in SJ, now Brooklyn in Fremont?

  2. CB Says:

    I didn’t know that section of Vargas was considered Fremont. It’s pretty rural trash, not rural chic. There are far better homes with better views in the Fremont hills for ~1M less. THIS bad boy comes to mind.

  3. sonarrat Says:

    It’s right on the edge of the Mission San Jose enrollment district. I actually found it in Redfin by searching for Sunol.

    Madhaus, I am ROLLING. Awesome work!

  4. SEA Says:

    There are plenty of exclusions from the RBA:

    1. Busy Streets
    2. Airplanes overhead
    3. Trains
    4. Moving parts
    5. Price reductions

    I’m starting to wonder, are there any automatic inclusions into the RBA?

    1. Guaranteed price double every 10 years
    2. MAWBUL CAWLUMS
    3. Cemeteries in Palo Alto

  5. madhaus Says:

    SiO2, Brooklyn? Gawd, no. Dat’s Lawn Guyland. Didn’t you listen to da videos? Ya dink anyone’s got money and power in Brooklyn?

    No, it’s not NY week. sonarrat suggested da Playboy Mansion only yestidday. Danks, sonar, dat place wuz fun ta write about. Da mawr I lookaddit, da mawr mawbul cawlums I find!

  6. SEA Says:

    “Da mawr I lookaddit, da mawr mawbul cawlums I find!”

    Da mawr mawbul cawlums, da bigar da value.

  7. sonarrat Says:

    Oh, I just noticed the classic Fiat X1/9 by the guest house. Classy! Italian!

  8. SEA Says:

    Need three phase power? No problem! Take a look at them thar power lines:

    http://yefimraysbergrealtor.shutterfly.com/pictures/53

    http://yefimraysbergrealtor.shutterfly.com/pictures/39

    http://yefimraysbergrealtor.shutterfly.com/pictures/30

    And let’s not leave out that thar fine antenna:

    http://yefimraysbergrealtor.shutterfly.com/pictures/45

    It’s my guess that the middle evergreen shrub is covering up a dish, but I’m not sure.

  9. nomadic Says:

    Nice job madhaus! What a classy joint dat is.

  10. Tuno Says:

    isn’t there supposed to be a statue of Lincoln sitting in a chair, in front of the front door of that place?

  11. In Silicon Valley, House Dreams You! | Burbed.com Says:

    [...] Awww, it’s too shy to come out and pose!  This little wallflower was still the house of somebody’s dreams, when they listed this place for $890K.  Yes, I said $890,000.  In 2008.  And it was the house of the current sellers’ dreams when they got $140K of instant equity by paying $750K for it, 3 months later.  Now it can be the house of your dreams for $425K, which includes $465K of instant equity.  Wow! That’s more than the house is selling for!  That means this house is better than FREE! Plus it includes the APPROVED plans for the house of the seller’s dreams!  Guess the seller woke up, smelled the coffee, and said “Oh my god I live here!” [...]


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