August 23, 2010

Go Jump In 9% of Your Own Lake

This property is a burbed two-fer.  It’s both a multi-million dollar listing… and the house is probably only being held together by the termites having a big ol’ group hug.  Yup, expensive signature showpiece or overpriced pile of crap?  How about both!  It’s a floor wax and a dessert topping!

Many thanks to burbed reader sonarrat for this fantastic find!

1005 Lakeview Way, Redwood City, CA 94062


Beds: 4
Baths: 2.5
Sq. Ft.: 3,820
$/Sq. Ft.: $667
Lot Size: 1.01 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Spanish
Stories: 1
View: Lake
Year Built: 1926
Community: Farm Hills Estates
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81040895
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 5 days

Opportunity to own this one of a kind Lake front property. Over an acre of completely useable land on privately owned Emerald Hills upper Lake, Lake Lynda. Build, develop, subdivide, or restore this tranquil property. FISH, SWIM, BOAT, in your own backyard. TRUELY A MUST SEE!

Yes, indeed, this is a privately owned lake, and this house comes with 1/11th of it!  But, do you see a house in those pictures above?  There’s supposed to be a big house on this one-acre lakefront property, but the agent seems to have neglected to post any pictures of it.  Instead we get 9 photos of the lake.

And PropertyShark (registration required) says there is a small house at this address: 600 square feet, with a grand total of three rooms. Plus a 630 sf garage.  You’d think a house built in 1926 would know how big it is by now. Here’s the one room the agent was willing to show us:image

Wow, they sure knew how to party in 1926.  Just imagine 3820 square feet of house needing to be restored.  Or 600.  TRUELY A MUST SEE!

Also, the agent is making a very big deal about the privately-owned lake, so let’s take a good look.


Whoa…. that lake may be green, but I don’t think I’d call that shade Upper Emerald.  I’d go with Acme Algae or Summit Scum.  Now, can we get a peek at the house?  Google Streetview can take us where no agent dares.


Uh,,,, yeah, that’s a roof all right.  And a roof job.  A very expensive-looking roof job.  Maybe it’s a good thing the house is hiding under the driveway.  So: floor wax or dessert topping?

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

10 Responses to “Go Jump In 9% of Your Own Lake”

  1. SEA Says:

    All this place needs is light bulbs, Drano, and a little time before it’s worth $5M!

  2. nomadic Says:

    …the house is probably only being held together by the termites having a big ol’ group hug.

    Sorry burbed, but the funniest line I’ve read here* was written by your co-conspirator.

    *excludes posts by our resident troll

  3. Gallileo Says:

    Ahhh, Emerald Hills. The rural area in the middle of Silicon Valley. Redwood City Schools at Atherton prices, with West Virginia style winding two lane roads.

    The lakes are nice–I swam in them some years ago. Upper lake is the toniest one and these properties don’t come around much. But the entire area is stuck in the sixties and could use some gentrification.

  4. madhaus Says:

    I lived in Emerald Lake Hills back in 89 and 90, renting this bizarre house with a strange floor plan, lots of odd extra rooms everywhere, and plenty of land. Only a few homes had been updated back then. I did enjoy using a Woodside mailing address though. 🙂 Yes it was RC, but Woodside mail would be delivered as the zip was shared.

    Of course the owner decided to sell, and dang it, I just couldn’t come up with $360,000. That price was probably just for the land as not only did the house need some work but the place had an abandoned and crumbling swimming pool built into the hillside, with a working pool heater and plumbing that we jiggered to heat an old redwood hot tub that one of my housemates found.

    Wow, I actually miss that place. It had a lot more character than my current shack. We gave that house a lot of names, but Redwood City Mystery House is the one that stuck.

  5. Pralay Says:

    Lake? I thought the exaggerated description of such a puddle is pond.

  6. Tuno Says:

    Per Google Streetview, a gigantic natural fiber doormat has fallen on this house from outer space.

  7. anon Says:

    Good news! Homeownership is being revealed as the financial drain that it actually is (and has been)!

  8. DreamT Says:

    as opposed to a Porsche?

  9. madhaus Says:

    Porsches don’t have any moving parts and don’t even need Drano.

  10. nomadic Says:

    Tuno, good observation. That does look like a sisal roof!

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