October 11, 2010

Psst, Hey, Want to Buy an Island?

Burbed reader sonarrat called me over and slowly opened the trenchcoat.  What illicit product could I buy?  Darn, no chocolate, just real estate.  Here’s what sonarrat has to say about today’s amazing listing:

I don’t have the time to get into why this is so great, but isn’t this a far better use of the money than some crap shack in Cupertino??

Indeed it is!  For one, crapshacks in Cupertino are reachable by anybody.  But this place is boat access only.  For two, move here and don’t worry about truant officers! “Nearby schools are unavailable” per Redfin.

20251 W Bacon Island Dr  Stockton, CA 95201
$799,000

image

Beds: –
Baths: –
Sq. Ft.: –
Lot Size: 348 Acres
Property Type: Agricultural/Residential Land
View: Bay, Lake
Community: San Joaquin County
County: San Joaquin
MLS#: 81026676
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 134 days

SPORTSMAN’S PARADISE. The island is flooded with 350 acres of lake water from 8′ to 12′ and surrounded by nearly 4 miles of levee frontage. High recreational use for boating, fishing & hunting. Incredible bass fishing! Unique opportunity, call for complete brochure. High unused mitigation benefits. One owner, one island, one reclamation district. Big tax benefits. Possible Mitigation.

When a property listing mentions mitigation twice that’s never a good sign.  348 acres, 350 acres of lake water.  That means two acres are flooded twice.  No wonder it has a lake view, plus “water available at site” yet “Sewer not available.”

Let’s have a look at this SPORTSMAN’S PARADISE, with high recreational use for boating, fishing and hunting with incredible bass fishing.  Perhaps the listing agent thinks the island is in Louisiana.

image

Unfortunately when the map is sufficiently pulled out to show the entire property (above), the lot lines vanish.  It’s shaped like a wide rectangle running from the water curve on the right to the inlet on the left where the little tree marker is.  Here’s a closer-in view created by merging two map images together.

island

Doesn’t look like much of an island, and doesn’t look flooded either.  But why not pick this one up instead of a Cupertino crapshack in Rancho Rinkydinky?  Then you can truthfully tell your friends and family that all your bass are belong to us.

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

11 Responses to “Psst, Hey, Want to Buy an Island?”

  1. Alex Says:

    Somebody set up us the bomb.

  2. A. Lewis Says:

    Wow – points for true originality. So what does mitigation mean in this context?

  3. A. Lewis Says:

    I bet it has something to do with litigation…

  4. madhaus Says:

    #1: Move zig. For great justice!!!!

  5. nomadic Says:

    Mmmm, bacon.

    madhaus, I suppose the aerial photo was taken pre-flood. This would be kind of like buying a salvage vehicle, but you have get permission from the EPA and fish & wildlife to reclaim it.

  6. Ria Wise Says:

    Rising waters are always something to worry about when you’re going to build a property around water, but on the upside it does looks like the perfect cozy getaway.

  7. SEA Says:

    bing.com/maps points to an island, to the west and north, which definitely looks flooded.

  8. CB Says:

    This land isn’t even in the RSA (Real Stockton Area).

  9. Traumatic Says:

    A little back of the envelope calculations show that this should indeed be RBA real estate. Think of the value of the 12 feet of water alone: 348 acres x 43,560 sq ft/acre x 12 feet depth: 182 million cubic feet of water.

    sfwater.org charges $4.12/cubic foot (the value of RBA water) = (wait for it) $749,000,000. For the cost of $799,000.

    I’m sure that organic, unfiltered free range San Joaquin water will sell for even more in the RBA, and profits will rise with global warming!

  10. sonarrat Says:

    That’s some truly imaginative spin there.

  11. madhaus Says:

    Here’s the Bing map that #7 was referring to. Yes, it definitely looks flooded. And here is the same view on Google Maps.

    Click on Aerial to see the satellite photo on Bing.


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