This is Fixer Up
Who says there’s no affordable housing in Silicon Valley? Obviously they didn’t look in the right neighborhood! Remember, it’s all about location, location, location, and there’s no location like Alviso. Not many places have the entire zip code declared a Superfund site, but after 25 years the EPA says all the asbestos is cleaned up. That means the time to buy is now!
1585 Wabash St, San Jose, CA 95002
$199,999
BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,124
$/SQ. FT.: $178
LOT SIZE: 3,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1935
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81058707
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 37 daysHome for inverstors, No FHA Loan, Three bedroos and two baths, this house is divided in two houses. This is fixer up.
This house is divided in two house. Um. Ruh-roh, Rabe Rincoln. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
So you’d better nip over to the 95002 and pick this up before it sits down. Or falls down. Or gets crammed down. It could even burn down now that all the asbestos is gone.
Plus you have your choice of which of the two houses in one house to live in, the one with the power lines in the yard, or the one with the rustic fence. Decisions, decisions! Choose your favorite, then rent out the other for that on-site landlord experience.
And here’s something the agent forget to mention. Your new home is close to a private lake! Er, is asbestos green?
Plus, like a fine wine, this home’s foreclosure was aged to perfection as well. None of that mid-2000s Johnny-come-lately bank seizure for this home. These homes. In one house. Whatever. This house home for inverstors was foreclosed on back in 1998! Now, that’s success secession.
February 4th, 2011 at 8:52 am
That’s not a lake, that’s the BAY! WATERFRONT LIVING AT ITS BEST! At least during high tide.
February 4th, 2011 at 11:14 am
It’s just so bad there’s nothing to say. It’s worth about $0, IMHO.
February 4th, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Oh, come on #2! You’re rarely at a loss for words! How bad is it?
February 4th, 2011 at 2:18 pm
It’s SOOOO Bad….I would feel ashamed selling it to a Realtor, and taking the commission.
But really, you don’t have to humiliate this place, or the Realtor who wrote the atrocious copy. They humiliate themselves by existing.
February 4th, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Good post for a big old pile of FAIL. It’s a great illustration of the mania of the bubble. The current FB’s “paid” over half a million dollars for this. Sure, it’s not a lot of money in some ways, but it sure is when related to this dump.
February 4th, 2011 at 4:33 pm
“This house is divided in two house. Um. Ruh-roh, Rabe Rincoln. A house divided against itself cannot stand.
So you’d better nip over to the 95002 and pick this up before it sits down. Or falls down. Or gets crammed down. It could even burn down now that all the asbestos is gone.”
Lol – hilarious.
February 4th, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Alviso – our answer to the Salton Sea
February 4th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
We gotta get Like and Dislike for posts as well as comments. Right now I got people like #6 getting more Likes than me… by quoting what I wrote. Rel-o-rel, Raggy.
February 4th, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Wait a minute ….. just read the first sentence …. all about the bedroos and how this is a fix … up …. or something….
Is there some marketing reality that good English does not sell houses? Is there a huge demographic that speaks/reads/writes really bad English and if you can spell and know grammar, can even spew real sentences rather than word-salad, you’re not to be trusted?
February 4th, 2011 at 9:59 pm
#8, I took #6 as a way to say “yeah, that was a really good line from the main post.” Feeling insecure today?
February 4th, 2011 at 10:05 pm
#8, seems that it would be an agreement that those lines are good. At least that’s how I would take it.
On the other hand, its all in the presentation Maybe everyone likes the way I wrote it better better than the way you did. Little do they know that I cut and pasted it. Heh heh
February 4th, 2011 at 10:13 pm
#10 and #11, yes I did take it to mean you liked those lines. I just think it’s funny that my comments aren’t as apt as yours by votes. And I am glad you enjoyed today’s featured estate.
Or maybe I just need more chocolate.
February 4th, 2011 at 10:21 pm
that’s not a toxic Superfund lagoon – it’s Spirulina!!! any contact with it – whether by swimming in it, ingestion, or inhaling its vapors – is invigorating and life-enhancing. scoop it up and share it with your friends!