February 19, 2011

Reasons to buy NOW!

Reasons To Buy Now

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Thanks to Burbed reader Alex for this find from Dr. Horton… I mean… D.R. Horton.

No Tax Deductions! Sweet! There’s nothing like getting a tax deduction for paying interest to a bank!

How would you rewrite this ad for Dr. Horton?

Comments (22) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:04 am

22 Responses to “Reasons to buy NOW!”

  1. anon Says:

    Hey look! All the “reasons” for buying are “advantages”! Strangely, all the “reasons” for renting are “disadvantages.”

    NOPE, NO BIAS HERE.

  2. anon Says:

    rewrite:

    Reasons to BUY NOW!

    Buy
    ——-
    *FREE MONEY
    *FREE FREEDOM

    Rent
    ——-
    *THROW MONEY AWAY
    *GIVE UP ALL FREEDOMS

    Why buy new?
    ——
    *You get what you want because its all about you and your preferences and things that you like because you are great and you deserve it so you should go into large amounts of debt in order to line our pockets and satisfy yourself. That’s what you want, right? You should have whatever you want.

    ————

    I cannot possibly fathom how shit like has any effect on even the most simple of simpletons. Oh, hey look a $55 cent pair of keys from homedepot. I wonder what this ad cost to prepare. I’d guess something in the range of 129 pennies. Figure 5 minutes for a realtor to shit some words onto a computer?

  3. SEA Says:

    Instead of keys, I’d have featured Drano and light bulbs behind a big ‘No Symbol.’

  4. * Says:

    Reasons to Buy a New Home: New Appliances

    Because if you buy an existing home you can’t buy new appliances.

  5. madhaus Says:

    Yeah, you always know what you’re going to get when you buy new. Tell that to the folks who got Chinese Drywall.

  6. nomadic Says:

    #4, that’s right, because the buyers are over-leveraged and can barely cover closing costs. ;-)

    I wonder if D.R. Horton is related to Tim?

  7. nomadic Says:

    yes, madhaus, and You Get What You Want is funny too. You get it as long as you’re willing to pay huge upcharges for the most minor change to their plans.

  8. SEA Says:

    “pay huge upcharges for the most minor change to their plans.”

    And the next buyer will most likely not be willing to pay much for all those so-called upgrades.

    I once took a flier that had the entire back page full of lists of “upgrades.” For example, who is willing to pay substantially more for an automatic reversing garbage disposal? I wonder how much that “upgrade” cost. Was it worth it?

    I wish I’d have kept that useless piece of paper for a good example of the absolute absurd in trying to increase the price based on so-called upgrades.

  9. anon Says:

    This is a great flyer. It makes me think back to the bubble days… Ahh the bubble days..

    Back in those days you’d pull up to an intersection and you’d see those people holding those signs much more frequently than you do now. You’d look to your right and see a guy dancing in the street holding a Quizno’s sign. “Subs for $4.99″ it would say. You’d look to your left and you’d see another sign guy twirling his sign about. “Now this guy’s got some class,” you’d think to yourself. Fascinated by the shiny moving object, you’d catch a glimpse of what it says in the brief moment when it is aligned with your point of view: “New Homes Starting at $799k Zero down.” And you’d look to your right and see that the Quizno’s guy was still there. And that the Sub is still $4.99. And then, maybe you’d think to yourself: “This is odd. The sandwich is more expensive than the house.” And you’d think to yourself: “That seems legitimate.”

  10. anon Says:

    Oh, and I love how “Buy Now” is capitalized. As if its a proper noun. Maybe its a trademark?

  11. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    New Appliances! Well worth becoming a debt-slave for decades while watching your house depreciate by 20% a year. NEW APPLIANCES.

  12. madhaus Says:

    Because everyone knows that you cannot rent a place with New Appliances.

  13. SEA Says:

    It’s not like I lose any sleep over my older washing machine and my relatively cheap dish washer. No, I didn’t get the dish washer outside one of those big box home improvement stores. The only appliance that I have any concern about its age is the refrigerator. If my dish washer fails, it’s easy enough to do the dishes by hand.

    Oh, and what happens if there is a failure not covered by the warranty? Let’s see… As a renter someone else fixes the problem, but as an owner you are the one to pay.

  14. Tuno Says:

    BUY! BUY NOW! BUY NEW!!!

    BECAUSE then Mom and Dad will give you a chunk of money for a down payment! (out of their own home equity, of course!)

    BECAUSE then you’ll have a place to put all your wedding Hummels!

    BECAUSE Melanie from high school, whom you now live a thousand miles from, would be envious!

    BECAUSE then you’ll be surrounded by NEW walls and built-ins and floorings that are made of formaldehyde-infused particle board, and you and your kids can enjoy huffing the offgassings! Family night!!!

    BECAUSE it’s BORING to look for a historical chart of house prices on the internet!

    BECAUSE it will Keep Your Marriage Together! (funny, now wasn’t that why you had the kids?)

    BECAUSE you’re too much of a ADD case to save a penny of your salary, after paying a comparably cheap rent!

    BECAUSE you’ll have a closet big enough for all your SHOES!!!! and even the BOOTS!!! a whole closet just for the UGGSSS!!!!

    BECAUSE you’ve spent your life watching TV and New American Houses look like the Houses on TV, and that’s what Special People live in!!

    BECAUSE your landlord REFUSES to do (fill in the blank), which would cost you $5 to do yourself!

    BECAUSE with a nice long commute, you can finally listen to the Great Books lecture series on Architecture!! (ooops!)

    BECAUSE with a nice long commute, you can try that cool Provigil stuff that they originally stewed up for pilots!!

    BECAUSE now you can have 5 bathrooms, which is very important, since all four family members are incontinent so the two bathrooms in your rental result in floor puddles!

    BECAUSE Beige is such a homey color!!

    BECAUSE Open Space is such a liberal crock!

    BECAUSE you can’t get along with the neighbors at your rental, but if you are economically forced to stay put by buying, well you’ll learn Social Skills!!! better yet if you get foreclosed on and have to move back in with Mom and Dad – think of the Personal Growth that will lead to!!

    BECAUSE there is a veritable ARMY of Caucasian and Hispanic males, who are absolutely incapable of doing *anything* but build homes! and if they had to rely on their wives’ incomes, that would Hurt Their Egos!! (hey, I have some of the white variety in my own family)

    BECAUSE owning a house, and especially a New House, is presented by Advertisers as being a sign of Success and Maturity!!! And you have no idea what real Success and Maturity are!!

    there. will the NAR now offer me a paid position??

  15. Tuno Says:

    SEA: “For example, who is willing to pay substantially more for an automatic reversing garbage disposal? I wonder how much that “upgrade” cost. Was it worth it?”

    wow, I wouldn’t pay for one. but I think I’ll try to find one in action on You Tube. since I haven’t eaten recently.

  16. SEA Says:

    I never thought to look on You Tube, but I did find this by a standard web search:

    “Some higher-end units have automatic reversing. By using a slightly more-complicated centrifugal starting switch the split-phase motor rotates in the opposite direction from the previous run each time it is started. This can clear minor jams but is claimed to be unnecessary by some manufacturers: Since the late 1970s most disposal units have swivel impellers which make reversing unnecessary.”

    http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/Garbage_disposal

    I suppose the centrifugal switch reverses the direction of current flow in start windings, or so it seems that would be an easy way to accomplish the reverse.

    Until I read that “upgrade” I had no idea that there were disposals with such a ‘feature.’ I suppose if the disposal jams to a sudden stop, the automatic reversing model would start right up, since it is starting in the opposite direction. On my cheap model, with swivel impellers, I just take the little wrench out and free it up if it jams–probably once a year, plus or minus.

  17. madhaus Says:

    #14, NAR doesn’t need clever copywriting when they’ve done such a good job with simple outright lying.

    CoreLogic Blasts NAR for Overstating Home Sales
    Published: Feb. 15, 2011
    By Steve Cook, Real Estate Economy Watch, United Press International

    The “most popular measure” of existing home sales, the National Association of Realtors’ Existing Home Sales, has increasingly overstated home sales for ten years as measured by five other sources, and reached a level in 2010 that is 15 to 20 percent higher than actual sales, according to CoreLogic, which made the charges in its US Housing and Market Trends Report.

    CoreLogic reported sales totaled only 3.6 million in 2010, down 12 percent from 2009. By comparison, NAR reported sales fell only 5 percent in 2010 after rising in 2009, and were flat relative to 2008. CoreLogic said sales did not actually rise in 2009

    Benchmarking drift, more sales going though MLS systems due to consolidation and a lower sjare of for sale by owner transactions contributed to the divergence between NAR’s numbers and Census, HMDA (Treasury), Mortgage Bankers Association and CoreLogic.

  18. anon Says:

    #14 is hilarity. 10 thumbs up.

  19. nomadic Says:

    Tuno, bravo! You’re on a roll tonight.

  20. burbed Says:

    Hey folks, just as a heads up – I’m mucking around with the site, so things may get weird or wacky.

  21. nomadic Says:

    A new angle on buy now or be priced out forever – buy now before mortgages get more difficult to obtain:

    http://www.smartmoney.com/personal-finance/real-estate/why-you-should-buy-that-home-now-1297456803897/

  22. nomadic Says:

    Yeah – I post one little link and your spam-catcher ate it.


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