March 3, 2011

And the Top City to Meet a Nerd goes to…

Sorry to interrupt the horrible houses, but this is too good to pass up. just listed their Top Ten Cities to Meet A Nerd.  Why don’t you all make your predictions which city is the absolute petaflops best place to land yourself your very own nerd, before finding out what they came up with?

Go on, we’re waiting.  We’ll have that list for you right after the break. Did we make it? Did we?’s Top Ten Cities to Date a Nerd

  1. Nerd Venn Diagram Sunnyvale, CA
  2. Cambridge, MA
  3. Somerville, MA
  4. Berkeley, CA
  5. Santa Clara, CA
  6. Ann Arbor, MI
  7. Boulder, CO
  8. Columbia, MD
  9. Fairfax, VA
  10. Rockville, MD

So many missing opportunities.  San Jose doesn’t qualify?  What about Campbell?  And come on, Mountain View, home of teh Google, and Palo Alto, which is ground zero for The Social Network!

So what’s with the flyover cities?  Nerds prefer to live on the coast, so their floody pants cut 4 inches above the ankle will be ready for the rising waters!  Nerds avoid athletic cities like Boulder, which is full of fresh-air twits whose idea of fun is a 200 mile bicycle ride followed up by six hours of relaxing calisthenics.  And whoever wrote that list clearly doesn’t understand the difference between a nerd and a policy wonk.  It’s the latter you’ll find throughout all those federal government jobs in Maryland and Virginia.

Berkeley?  Somebody’s GPS got fried.  Berkeley isn’t a place to meet nerds.  Berkeley is a place to meet philosophy grad students in itchy sweaters.  Sure, they got a dynamite computer science department, but there are too many other students majoring in decidedly un-nerdy things such as metaphorical criticism of social context from a transgender perspective.  Or French literature, but that’s practically the same thing.

Santa Clara?  Well, it’s definitely home to many engineers of the nerd variety.  With Intel Headquarters located right in town, this is where you cash in your chips.  We won’t mention that AMD is right across the border in…

The Out to Lunch sculpture by J. Seward Johnson welcomes visitors to the Library.Sunnyvale, We’re #1!  But of course. Here’s our second most famous landmark at right.  And it isn’t titled, “The Thinker” or anything pretentious.  Or French.  But I repeat myself.

This statue, which graces the entrance of the Sunnyvale Library (proudly refusing to join the Santa Clara Inter-Library Network since a year I completely made up for purposes of dramatic emphasis), is called “Out to Lunch.”

And if that isn’t what being a nerd is all about, I’ll eat my calculator smartphone with RPN app.  On French bread.

We’ll bring you a bonus house over the weekend to make up for the news flash.

Comments (17) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

17 Responses to “And the Top City to Meet a Nerd goes to…”

  1. Marty Says:

    Today’s nerd is tomorrow’s Google millionaire. Once a nerd gets his first million he’s just one Armani suit away from looking hot.

  2. Joe Says:

    Sorry ladies, this Sunnyvale resident is already taken! It’s good to be on top 🙂

  3. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    What about Mountain View? Tons of nerds there. And Santa Clara? Come on. That’s more like, “Place to meet a druggie living in Dad’s garage-turned-into-a-bedroom”.

  4. madhaus Says:

    So what would the prototypical Sunnyvale nerd house look like? Would it be bigger or smaller than average? Smaller because the typical nerd is less likely to attract a mate and reproduce, or bigger because nerds have lots of money to waste on hobbies with large numbers of accessories?

    I will say this: whatever the house looks like, it will not have foo-foo touches such as lace curtains, wallpaper borders, or ceramic knickknacks (unless they’re ceramic computer icons). It will probably be painted tan, white or gray (to go with nerd clothing). But don’t expect the starkness you’d find in Dwell, either. (Warning: link is to intensely time-wasting site. You have been warned!)

    There would be no landscaping beyond what is needed, a weekly mow-and-blow service. Nerds would embrace xeriscaping.

    In the early 1990s, the prototypical nerd car was a Honda Accord. I’d nominate the Toyota Prius for that now.


  5. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Most nerds rent.

  6. SEA Says:

    #5- I wonder if the list would be the top rental cities too.

  7. nomadic Says:

    So what would the prototypical Sunnyvale nerd house look like?

    Eichler with a garage full of weird stuff. The stuff depends on the hobby of the nerd – LARPing paraphernalia, power tools, trebuchet prototypes, rocketry, kit car in mid-build, etc. (Half of those ideas come from one dude I know.)

  8. madhaus Says:

    I was thinking the weird hobby stuff has to spill into the rest of the house too, especially in places where you don’t expect it.

    Like a full-scale skeleton in the dining room.

  9. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    My nerd buddy had pinball machines and motorcycle engines in his living room.

    I’ve usually lived in tiny rentals, so none of that fun stuff.

  10. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    I lived in Slummyvale and there seem to be three types of prototypical Slummyvale houses:

    A huge apartment block.

    Or, an old farm house/farmworker house from the 1920s

    Or, a glorified trailer – there are vast tracts of those.

  11. nomadic Says:

    Yeah, you’re right #8. I’d say another is bicycles in the dining room, but anything involving exercise isn’t nerdy enough.

  12. madhaus Says:

    Sure, a bicycle in the dining room would do it. Provided it was this bicycle. Or this one.

    Pinball machines are a nice touch too, #9, or an electronic arcade machine at least 25 years out of date, such as Battle Zone (1980).

    Here’s a nice little touch I have on my living room sofa, only mine is screaming lime green.

  13. CB Says:

    A nerd in the bay area may outfit his home with any number of items, but every nerd has a chair with surround speakers for gaming.

  14. Real Estater Says:

    Good News! Check out the excerpt:

    There’s also been an upswing in the number of high-end homes — those costing more than $750,000 — being sold, according to Yun. The wealthy buyers of these properties have lots of choices of where to place their money and many are investing in real estate.

    “The smart money is making their move,” said Yun.

  15. Real Estater Says:

    >>In the early 1990s, the prototypical nerd car was a Honda Accord. I’d nominate the Toyota Prius for that now.

    That I totally agree with!

  16. Marty Says:

    #14 –‘There’s also been an upswing in the number of high-end homes — those costing more than $750,000’

    I haven’t been around long but even I remember when a ‘high-end home’ cost $2.0 and a $750,000 home was a great deal on a ‘starter’.

  17. nomadic Says:

    Marty, I’d bet ol’ Larry Yun was talking about flyover land where $750k actually buys a “high end home” rather than a crapshack in need of work like you’d get in the RBA.

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