March 9, 2011

Palo Alto house perfect for twitter and facebook employees

$3,288,000

Beds: 9
Baths: 6.5
Sq. Ft.: 4,627
$/Sq. Ft.: $711
Lot Size: 8,070 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary, French, Mediterranean
Stories: 3
View: Mountains, Neighborhood
Year Built: 2006
Community: Midtown
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81105993
Source: MLSListings
Status: ActiveThis listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 12 days
VERY NEW/ BEAUTIFUL 9 BD/6.5 BA; GREAT 4 TODAY’s LIFE/ENTERTAINMENT; PRIME LOCATION/QUIET 2Side CueDeSac ST; LOTS NEW HOUSE AROUND; FUNCTIONAL/FLEXIBLE FLR PLAN/RMs; 2 PRKG W 400 SF; GOMT KITCHEN; MASTERBR W SIT RM; TOPLINE MTL/APPLICANCES; THEATRE/DANCNG FLR; SAUNA; BAR; GYM, GAME RM; WINE C; LOTS FEATURES; HG CEILING; 2 GREAT ROOM/2 LAUNDRY; GRAND/BRIGHT/DETAILS; BIG FRONT/BACK YARD W PATIO/TRILLIS

Thanks to Burbed reader M for this find!

Here’s what M had to say:

I know we aren’t supposed to discuss the city which cannot be named, but this house is just so perfect.

http://www.mlslistings.com/2577-RAMONA-ST-Palo-Alto-CA~i19$1013434$RES

Love the agent’s grammar. He will make just $100,000 on this sale, so he clearly can’t afford keyboard that doesn’t produce all caps. Oops, there are a couple of words in there that aren’t, like "QUIET 2Side CueDeSac". What exactly is a CueDeSac? I’m guessing either a place to store your custom-made pool sticks, or a bag that hold
s your signals to go on stage. No matter, this house has LOTS FEATURES and is GREAT 4 TODAY’s LIFE/ENTERTAINMENT. Hey, there is also a "TRILLIS", which must mean something that supports the piano flourishes your little snowflakes can play. With nine bedrooms, everyone in a family of nine can have their own bedroom with one left over for the in-laws.

I’m sure many people want to cook in a GOMT KITCHEN, no matter if it actually contains TOPLINE MTL or APPLIANCES.

Never had a sale since it was new in 2006. I guess it isn’t one of the LOTS NEW HOUSE AROUND. At this rate, it’s going to be Old Palo Alto without ever being lived in. Buy it now or be priced out forever!

Dude this house is totally aimed at all the Facebookers and Twitterers who are about to become rich! Know your customer! Speak their language! Shrt is betr. Drp lttrs to sv spce. TL;DR.

Comments (43) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:00 am

43 Responses to “Palo Alto house perfect for twitter and facebook employees”

  1. Ptsmrt grmr Says:

    VERY TASTEFUL!

  2. PrfctAngl Says:

    Nobdy talkin abt mrbl clmn at frnt!

  3. nomadic Says:

    The description on Redfin has been revised:

    BEAUTIFUL 9 or 5-7 BD/6.5 BA

    I love how it can have 5, 6, 7 or 9 bedrooms. But not 8. Why no lucky number? Are they trying to keep Asians out so the PA schools don’t become concentrated with one demographic like Cupertino’s?

  4. SEA Says:

    “He will make just $100,000 on this sale”

    My guess: No sale = No earned commission.

  5. nomadic Says:

    Seller is Licensed Real Estate Agent

    Bwahahahaha – she tried selling all through the height of the bubble too. Excellent pricing strategy, genius!

  6. nomadic Says:

    A historic Google search indicates the price started at $3,578,888 in early 2006 and quickly reduced to – surprise! – $3,288,000. Hmmm. Where’s the appreciation for the last five years?

    See ad with photo on p.10, from January ’06:
    http://www.paloaltoonline.com/weekly/morguepdf/2006/2006_01_06.paw.section2.pdf

  7. SEA Says:

    “Where’s the appreciation for the last five years?”

    Probably all the agents posting notes on the door about how great the house is, and each one would love to sell it. Now that’s housing appreciation!

  8. nmdc Says:

    Damn. Gotta fix that hndl.

  9. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Where was the planning department’s brain when this shitstain got approved? Finished square footage is over half of the lot size? Houses this big need half acre lots just to look stupidly oversized. You need an acre before the house will be scaled properly. And at least half the neighbors are/have done the same thing. The neighborhood is starting to look like a sardine can someone tried to stuff whole tunas into.

    Also, who let the Architectural Flourishes Fairy go batshit crazy on this thing? It’s like the lego house you built that your little brother came along and kept adding onto until ALL the legos were gone. Thank god they didn’t have the Millennium Falcon kit or we’d have radar dishes and awkwardly mounted laser turrets on that bad boy.

    Finally, a fountain in the middle of a sidewalk? Seriously? Somebody take a bat to the moron who dropped that turd in the middle of the walk.

  10. mdhs Says:

    On Redfin: 28 days. Uh-huuuunh.

  11. PrfctAngl Says:

    See ad with photo on p.10, from January ’06:
    —-

    THE OTHR HM LSTED IN AD, 2916 RAMONA, DIDN’T SELL EITHER. CALL LYNN 650-815-8157 IF U WNT TO SELL U’R HM.

  12. gallileo Says:

    This one was mine–but I forgot to use my burbed name–now there’s a concept.

    @6:

    The text in that ad is just as bad as the text in the listing:

    “Big house on sized lot.”–Well I hope the lot is sized. Otherwise you don’t know what you are buying.
    “Design for today’s life.”–If I live there I can design for today’s life.

  13. gallileo Says:

    @9:

    Even the description says that the house was designed by a schizophrenic architect:

    “Style: Contemporary, French, Mediterranean”

    This house is just comedy gold on all levels. From the agent to the architect to the planning commission. Everyone who has come near this house has dropped the ball.

    Even the Weekly’s ad editors missed typos. Or maybe they don’t review them at all.

    The pool of incompetence surrounding this house makes me afraid to even drive by. I’m afraid it is contagious.

  14. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Mawbul Cawlumns, check!
    Fakie 3rd story-ish lump on top – check!
    Lawyer foyer – check!
    Snout – check!

    This house is full ‘o’ win! Buy now!

  15. madhaus Says:

    12, 13: excellent find, I think this one ranks with the Mawbul Kawlum Extravaganza on Purissima.

    9, you should be writing up the houses here. And so rarely do we remember to thank the architect for the finds on Burbed.

  16. PrfctAngl Says:

    Finally, a fountain in the middle of a sidewalk? Seriously? Somebody take a bat to the moron who dropped that turd in the middle of the walk.
    —-

    That was inspired by Superior Chinese Mom Amy Chua. If unruly child runs out from front door, he/she is going to hit the fountain and succumb to head injury. Done! The “bad apples” are cleaned out from society. Only good apples stay in society – who always get A+ and don’t do sleepover.

  17. Tuno Says:

    #9 – beautiful post. classic.

    yep, another plastic house

    but – MR. MORTGAGE IS BACK!!! MR. MORTGAGE IS BACK!!!! YAYYYY!!! (*that* deserves all caps): http://mhanson.com/blog

    he hadn’t posted in 10 months. he is a god of housing doom. now he goes by his real name, Mark Hanson

  18. no estater Says:

    But Tuno, blow that doom away. This morning it was reported that mortgage applications are way up (well, to the highest level this year, never mind were only nine weeks into it)!

  19. madhaus Says:

    #17, thanks for reporting that. Either Burbed or me ought to get that link up on the blogroll. Here’s just a yummy taste:

    For example, on a Jumbo purchase in CA effective negative equity begins at 75% CLTV (6% Realtor fee and 20% down payment), which is the reason the Jumbo housing market continues to languish and will get worse. In fact, when you lower the CA Jumbo negative equity threshold to 75% CLTV, then 64% of all mortgaged homeowners are effectively underwater. This is also why I believe that Jumbo loans, a clear focus of banks and servicers with respect to modifications, payment plans and workouts for the past year and a half, have not even begun the pain stage that will ultimately come.

  20. nomadic Says:

    This poor house. So much going on. And on the wrong side of Oregon Expressway. I’m still trying to puzzle out QUIET 2Side CueDeSac ST too. There isn’t a cul de sac for at least a mile in any direction…

  21. SEA Says:

    #20- Go have another cup of coffee and come back. Ok, are you back now. Please note that the cul-de-sac on Ramona is 14 doors down.

  22. SEA Says:

    Oh, and since I might as well cover the other side of “2Side,” the other one is about 24 doors down.

  23. nomadic Says:

    Okay, duly noted. The dead end at Oregon Expressway. Great selling point. And if the realtard can say it’s on a cul de sac, then using the same logic we can say it’s on the Caltrain tracks too. They’re about equi-distant.

  24. SEA Says:

    Yea, maybe the honest assessment would be: “Surrounded by the Oregon Expressway, a drainage ditch, and Caltrain tracks.”

  25. Real Estater Says:

    >>Where was the planning department’s brain when this shitstain got approved? Finished square footage is over half of the lot size?

    Where is your brain? Didn’t you notice that this is a 3 story house with a full basement? There’s still plenty of space for yard. This kind of layout is very common in Palo Alto.

  26. DreamT Says:

    “Where is your brain?”
    Uh oh, let’s hope this does not degenerate into anatomical horror, a la Daniel Tosh.

  27. Real Estater Says:

    DreamT,

    Why do you talk about some nonsense, rather than talking about the property?

  28. SEA Says:

    Does it get any more circular than #27?

  29. madhaus Says:

    #28, that’s not circular. That’s hypocrisy. Circular would be a real cul-de-sac instead of a dead end.

  30. DreamT Says:

    RealEstater – frankly I am not interested in Palo Alto, and certainly not the above monstrosity. The only decent properties I have found around here were located in the Saratoga hills. But I’ve been told many times that I have old man’s taste.

  31. Real Estater Says:

    DreamT,

    It’s a moot point anyways. You can’t touch this house in your dream.

  32. Real Estater Says:

    >>frankly I am not interested in Palo Alto,

    Right, except for the libraries.

  33. DreamT Says:

    #31 – Not a moot point. And I indeed wouldn’t.
    #32 – The children’s library only, there’s nothing special about the others.

  34. Real Estater Says:

    >>The children’s library only, there’s nothing special about the others.

    I suppose it depends on your reading level.

  35. Real Estater Says:

    Btw, Mitchell Library is being rebuilt from the ground up. It will be a state of the art library and meet your specialness criteria.

  36. madhaus Says:

    That does it. I’m moving to Palo Alto!

  37. DreamT Says:

    #34 – I don’t need to engrave my two kids’ name in its back alley to justify my presence there
    #35 – I meant diversity and specialization of content, not architecture

  38. Real Estater Says:

    >>I meant diversity and specialization of content, not architecture

    You think they’re rebuilding the library from the ground up just to put the same books back in?

  39. Real Estater Says:

    >> I don’t need to engrave my two kids’ name in its back alley to justify my presence there

    You can’t justify it because you don’t have 2 kids.

  40. Real Estater Says:

    You’re way behind buddy!

  41. Jessica Says:

    I, for one, cannot wait for the new library. Can’t wait to read Eat, Pray, Love while the husband is working late!

  42. SEA Says:

    Of course they will put new books in the Palo Alto Library–you know, all the new paradigms in Palo Alto real estate should fill the shelves. It’s not like the old finance books are applicable–let flyover land libraries house those old things.

    Housing price appreciation is easy: It always doubles every 10 years or sooner–at least if the place is in the RBA. That only takes a couple of pages. The bulk of the pages attempts to describe the ever elusive RBA.

  43. nomadic Says:

    Los Gatos has a brand new library under construction too. I thought the librarian telling me about it was going to wet herself because she was so excited. Then again, if I had to work in the depressing tomb that’s the current library, I’d be pretty happy too.


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