March 16, 2011

Beautiful Specious Home

What, it’s Wednesday already, and no submissions from Burbed reader sonarrat yet?  Better fix that oversight right now now.

4094 GIBRALTAR Dr, Fremont, CA 94536


SQ. FT.: 884
$/SQ. FT.: $270
LOT SIZE: 1,312 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Townhouse
STYLE: Cape Cod
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40495747
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 131 days

Open Home Sat & Sun 1:30 – 4:30 Beautiful specious home with crown moldings and oak laminated floors throughout. Plenty of double pane windows. Gourmet kitchen with beautiful cherry wood cabinetry, granite tile countertops and stainless steel appliances. Inside full size washer and dryer.

Here’s what sonarrat had to say about this, um, place:

If ever there was a perfect Freudian slip, it would be this listing.

Yes, even over in Fremont, better known as Six Cities in Search of an Offer, lower-end housing has succumbed to the obligatory stainless and granite.  This place features all the charm of a Motel 6 coupled with the convenience of monthly homeowner’s association fees ($211).  But hey, you get Common Hot Water for those HOA dues!  Plus pink roses poorly Photoshopped right outside your lot line!

So let’s check out the neighbors!


Diversity rocks!  If you want an integrated neighborhood, you got it! Integrated with apartments, townhouses, single-family houses, a park and what appear to be a bunch of scattered cargo containers.  Maybe they were dropped here by some hurried vessel captain who couldn’t find Alviso?

Better grab this one fast, as it’s been temporarily de-listed, no doubt by canny sellers who know it will lead to multiple offers over asking!  Hurry!

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

11 Responses to “Beautiful Specious Home”

  1. SEA Says:

    Under $250k–Does this pass the POS test?

  2. gallileo Says:

    The POS test is specious anyway.

    Of course, claiming that an 880 square foot house is spacious would be specious.

    The roses are specious too.

  3. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Don’t pick on the roses! That’s being Speciesist!

  4. madhaus Says:

    After yesterday’s photography, a couple of ‘shopped-in roses are almost cute.

  5. anon Says:

    Derp derp derp – Photoshopped roses add value says the mouth breather realtor.

  6. nomadic Says:

    If you look at the last picture, those roses gain more credibility than most realtards can hope for.

  7. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Ooh! I can hear the leaf blowers and the couples quarreling in harsh-sounding foreign languages now!

    Add in Sandeep standing outside my door yelling into a cell phone (because for some reason the building is TEMPEST-tight and cell phones only work out on the sidewalk in front) and it completes the charm!

    (I liked ol’ Sandeep, he was a great neighbor, but the time difference to Back Home made for some odd calling times.)

    Tell me, Does this place have tow trucks prowling around the parking lot in the evening looking for cars to repo? That would make me SO nostalgic for those good ol’ days in Slummyvale. Where do I sign?

  8. SEA Says:

    #6- The third to last photo shows the roses too, and actually inside the yard, not outside. Also the second to last photo shows other roses in the back yard.

  9. madhaus Says:

    Ok, ok, so the roses are actually there to stop and smell. They looked really fake in the first photo. Next time tell sonarrat to write up his own listing instead of trusting it to an amateur.

    #7, watch out, you don’t want to be tarred by the UCLA Polysci racist rant brush, do you?

  10. SEA Says:

    Photoshop Recognition Training!

    Were the flowers Photoshopped?

  11. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    That’s what the sky was missing in yesterday’s post – Pandas!

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