March 25, 2011

HAVE HAMMER?

Sometimes I forget Burbed had its roots in overpriced horrid housing.  Today’s listing reminds us of those humble beginnings that have brought us five years of ridiculously expensive crap.  Remember, any neighborhood can have cheaply built housing, but only the Bay Area can boast the most expensive domestic don’ts in the universe.

836 DWIGHT Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$325,000

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BEDS: 2
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 822
$/SQ. FT.: $395
LOT SIZE: 4,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1944
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81112615
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

HAVE HAMMER? WILL SAVE. Spruce up this 2 bedroom the heart of Sunnyvale, needs TLC. Bonus room in rear and 2nd bath – permits unknown. Convenient to freeways, shopping, services, and public trans. Possible candidate for renovation financing. Clean up is underway. Corp-owned and sold AS-IS; no warranties or inspections provided by seller.

“Needs TLC” is realtardspeak for about to collapse as soon as a toddler breathes on it.  And it’s got permits unknown, your assurance of a good many days in the Sunnyvale Planning Department.  No wonder it’s selling AS-IS.  No inspections provided by seller, so you don’t have to waste your money on your own.  It’s AS-IS, that means, of course it’s got problems, it’s one continuous problem.

Like the “Clean up is underway” comment.  I don’t think they meant vacuuming the carpets:

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Haven’t we discussed this neighborhood before?  Of course we have, this is the Super Fun place!  So when they talk clean up, let’s just say that if you want concrete countertops there will probably be plenty left over for that.

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

14 Responses to “HAVE HAMMER?”

  1. SEA Says:

    I’d love to see an offer presented to the seller for some reasonable amount of cash and a hammer.

  2. arnold Says:

    Walking distance to Home Depot!!

  3. John Says:

    Walking Distance to Home Depot!

  4. ES Says:

    It’s also walking distance to my work. I’ve looked in this little area quite a bit- and what really pisses me off is that a bunch of houses in that block defined by Kifer, Bartlett, Birch and Fair Oaks have been foreclosed (purchased for 5-600K during the peak and walked out on) and purchased for cash in the mid 200s, now being flipped for a tidy profit.

  5. madhaus Says:

    I love how that pitched rooflet doesn’t line up with the garage. Gotta love WWII construction, it must have been literally assembled by 12 year olds.

  6. gallileo Says:

    I work kind of near this place, and so do tens-of-thousand others. About 5,000 of them work in the office building on the left in the map. The cars crawl by every morning and you’ll never get out of your own driveway.

    Fortunately, the owner of this house will never need to leave to go to work, because this high-traffic location is perfect for a pharmalogical entrepreneur to sell some organic products.

    Location, location, location.

  7. DreamT Says:

    “if you want concrete countertops there will probably be plenty left over for that.”
    Funny, I was just at the International Concrete Exposition (ICONexpo) in Las Vegas yesterday. I did not see any countertops (although I didn’t look that closely, the conexpo has so much giganormous stuff that you spend more time looking upwards than table-level). Maybe concrete countertops are mostly a local obsession, I mean, specialty?

  8. sonarrat Says:

    So, I’ve been kind of quiet here for a little while. All the listings I’ve sent in which have appeared recently, I sent in weeks ago. I lost my job on February 16. What you’re hearing on the news is true, though – the market is very strong. I received multiple offers and I start a contract position with Netapp tomorrow. Before I even go in, though, I’m having a video interview with another company’s HQ; the recruiter says he’ll have an offer to me by noon that day. It’s going to be a wild and woolly day.

    Oh, and did I mention I’ll be making more than twice as much as before? Wow! That music degree sure didn’t disappoint!

  9. sonarrat Says:

    Ah, I start Monday, rather.

  10. nomadic Says:

    That’s great, sonarrat! Sounds like things turned out good in the end. I’m guessing you won’t be using the music degree at Netapp though?

  11. sonarrat Says:

    No, Netapp doesn’t have any staff pianists, damn it! I got these offers because I spent over 4 years in service parts logistics with DHL. In that job I was pretty much treated like a doormat, but the work I did gave me a great insight on how a supply chain works from beginning to end, what sorts of things go wrong with emergency orders and why. That turned out to be extremely valuable knowledge for the other offer I got.

  12. Real Estater Says:

    sonarrat,

    I’m very happy for you. Music can still be a second source of income.

  13. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    I sure wish I’d gone for a music degree. Not only does it mean employment even if just playing to terrace diners or at Fisherman’s Wharf, but somehow it also gives you super-powers like being able to get a job … .PROGRAMMING?? Isn’t programming kinda, I dunno, 1900s? There are NO jobs in it. And if you get one, NO pay, maybe minimum to $10 an hour. A huge congratulations is in order, Sonarrat.

  14. madhaus Says:

    sonarrat, congrats on the job offers!


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