April 1, 2011

Burbed to be Acquired by Redfin

We’ve got some big changes coming, folks.

burbed by redfin

redfin logoSEATTLE, WA – April 1st, 2011 – Redfin, the internet-savvy online real estate firm, has announced an agreement to acquire the award-winning Silicon Valley real estate site Burbed and all its subsidiaries.  Redfin CEO Glenn Kelman explained at an industry conference that their strategy of thinking outside the box meant they had to wander further than most people expected.  “Customers appreciate our online tools and our agents who work on salary, plus our rebating part of the commission back to the customer,” he explained in an interview with Instant Equity Today.  “But we’ve pretty much maxed out on finding clients who know they want to buy property.  Those people tend to come to us.  Now we’re going to find the people who say they don’t won’t to buy.  We’ve found if we can identify those people and give them the right message, they tend to spend even more than the motivated buyer.”

Burbed mastheadBurbed, based in the renowned Gables’ End complex in Mountain View, CA, has generated quite a following among home aficionados who love to criticize the excesses of the housing market. “Anyone who would buy in this environment must be smoking something,” opined one regular commenter on the site.  The typical fare found on Burbed features home listings that few would consider desirable.  Part of the site’s appeal is its ability to demonstrate how out of whack pricing is with current market reality, although there is also a strong interest in seeing just how bad some of the offered property can be.  And Redfin couldn’t help but notice that all Burbed listings come direct from Redfin’s search tools.

image“Yesterday they had this place that a tree fell on,” enthused a regular reader in Gilroy, home of the internationally famous Gilroy Garlic Festival.  The listing had three pictures of this house completely crushed by this humongous dead tree.  Timber!”  Other regulars described the typical Burbed listing as either an overpriced “crapbox,” or a house with no visual appeal whatsoever, or an even more overpriced house with serious flaws the seller was blind to.

Kelman said such strong passions among Burbed’s readership indicate a desire to own a house, and Redfin will find a way to get those people locked into imagediscount-priced mortgages (also sold on Redfin).  “Look, my orders are to get as many people obligated to my financial overlords for the next thirty years.  This is the best way to find people who can buy but don’t want to.  Hey, I’d prefer you not print what I just said.”

Burbed’s CEO and majority shareholder, who would not identify him/herself other than by “burbed,” admitted that the current site content creators might not enjoy working for their new owner.  “But look, they can buy a million dollar place and save $12,500.  That’s a lot more than I was paying them.”  One of the content creators, when asked to comment on the news, unleashed a stream of profanity and turned her guitar amplifier up to 11.

imageKelman also admitted part of his interest in buying the Burbed syndicate, which was accomplished via a 10% first mortgage, a 5% HELOC, and an undisclosed number of suitcases of cash, was so he could have first crack at any Real Bay Area listing featuring marble columns.  “Damn, those are some of the best houses out there.  I want one.  I want to pinch myself and say I live here!  How ridiculous is that?”

Both firms, coincidentally, were founded in February, 2006.  Burbed will move its headquarters to Seattle but maintain its RBA presence.  “I don’t’ see how we can update that RBA map if we don’t,” explained burbed, while dodging a falling piano.  A Seattle version of the Burbed site is expected by the third quarter.

Comments (23) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

23 Responses to “Burbed to be Acquired by Redfin”

  1. * Says:

    i, for one, welcome our new redfin overlords

  2. matt Says:

    Happy April 1st!

  3. madhaus Says:

    I hope you all realize this is an April Fool’s Day joke. The real news is even better: Burbed is acquiring Redfin!

  4. ES Says:

    I fell for that shit hook, line and sinker. F all of you. That was really good.

  5. pianist Says:

    Even though your post is in jest, I hope you ran this by an attorney friend. I don’t think the folks at Redfin are going to be amused. I’d hate to see trouble for you.

  6. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Way to earn your Redfins! (Like redwings, only in Real Estate)

  7. PerfectAngel Says:

    Finally, the recession is over and RBA is re-expanded upto “as far north as Seattle”.

    Employers are hiring, unemployment rate is down. We are all clear to take-off.

  8. Joe Says:

    Will we call it “Redfurbed” or “Burbfin”???

  9. PerfectAngel Says:

    Breaking news! NAR is planning to overbid this purchase with combination of mortgage securities and cash. Cash is 0.001%. Rest of the amount will be paid by mortgage securities from shadow inventory.

  10. Dewane Says:

    #5, Any publicity is good publicity. I hope that Redfin will replace one of the mailboxes in their logo with a flat-screen TV in honor of this great day.

  11. Sasha Aickin Says:

    > I don’t think the folks at Redfin are going to be amused. I’d hate to see trouble for you.

    Oh man, do we really seem so humorless as to not enjoy a little April Fools joke? Sigh. I can assure you it’s all taken in fun; in all honesty, personally I’m flattered you thought we were worth joking about in the first place.

    Sasha Aickin, Redfin VP Engineering, San Francisco.

    (and yes, we actually do have an SF office; no need to move Burbed HQ up to Seattle after all.)

  12. madhaus Says:

    Sasha, does that mean it’s true that Glenn Kelman has a mawbul kawlum jones? Maybe you should ask him.

  13. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    #11 : Actually, most everybody who loves picking on housing, or statistically interested in it, loves Redfin, even if we aren’t buying a house right now. If we had to rely on Zillow, we’d open our wrists and bathe the city in rivers of scarlet.

  14. nomadic Says:

    What an auspicious day – to have personal acknowledgment from the folks at Redfin. Cool. And just for the record, they’ve never come across as humorless.

    Now if #9’s post was true, we all know that NAR would buy burbed only to shut it down…

  15. JanelleS Says:

    This is funny. And, I’m glad to work for a company with a great sense of humor.

  16. madhaus Says:

    #15 confirms #3!

  17. sonarrat Says:

    Never fails. Get a great job and then your company gets bought out. See you guys over at SocketSite.

  18. sonarrat Says:

    Seriously though, there is evidence that Redfin doesn’t completely hate us.

  19. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    You had me going for about 2 paragraphs …. then I remembered the date.

    Pianist …. hehe …. pianist ….. hehe … hehe …. say it a few times, it’s funny …. pianist.. lol

  20. Natalie Says:

    That was hilarious!

  21. pianist Says:

    As a longtime reader and occasional poster, I assure you my posting was motivated by a desire to protect Burbed. I am not crying “wolf” here. A very well known bubble blog in my area (Orange County) went private a couple of years ago after posting details about a developer’s alleged fraud. The blogsite owner didn’t have the funds to match the developer’s legal defense; the developer had threatened to bankrupt him.

    I do not velieve you’re all familiar with the national blog Mortgage Lender Implode-O-Meter and Aaron Krowne. You might want to google “Loan Center of California v. Krowne” and see what happens when you piss off an entity that has the financial backing of a bigger entity.

    @ Sasha Aiken – you may be personally be flattered: however, your majority interest investors and BOD may not, and that’s where the lawsuits originate.

    @ Gilroy Alex – your name comment reminds me of elementary school playground insults.

  22. madhaus Says:

    #21 has posted here before and has always been a good Burbed citizen. I assume #5 was out of concern for the site being here next year, so we can report that the Map of the Real Bay Area is down to three houses in Palo Alto not next to new AT&T antennas.

  23. As seen on Flip This House: Outstanding Remoldel [Burbed.com] Says:

    […] I love very unique!  Nonconforming and weird is good too!  We’re going to love working with our Redfin overlords.  Meanwhile, check out the Google Streetview of this place!  I guess Spring Bounce means equity […]

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