May 6, 2011

Bonita Means Pretty, and so is this Place: Pretty Awful

Thanks to Burbed reader Tracy for this, um, well, I guess you could call it a house.

338 BONITA Ave, San Jose, CA 95116
$354, 250

image

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 2,000
$/SQ. FT.: $177
LOT SIZE: 1,332 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1972
COMMUNITY: Central San Jose
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81116912
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 18 days

Two story, with separate living quarters on second floor. Has great potential, some updating completed, needs finishing. Property is situated at rear of flag lot. Single family, zoned R2, 2828 sqft interior, 7054 sqft lot per county records, buyer to verify zoning, permits & all square footage.

Here’s what Tracy had to say about this, um, delightful domicile:

Weird flag lot
Strange prices

imageOh oh.  When the listing says a lot is one size and the realtard says ignore that, it’s actually five times bigger, we know there’ll be hijinks aplenty closing on this one!

Also, if the listing figures are accurate, that means the FAR is 2000 sf/1332 sf = 1.50.  I don’t know what the allowable FAR is on an R2 lot, but I suspect it’s a lot lower than that, like maybe on the order of 0.5.

Plus it’s a really patriotic house.  Not only will you be rescuing the economy by purchasing it, it’s even on a flag lot!

image

Wow, the satellite imagery is so much more informative than the plat map!  image

Here’s a nice view of the house, complete with deck (CAN YOU GO ON THE DECK?) and a few dozen of the neighbor’s favorite vehicles.  And I call shenanigans on this realtard.  If 338 Bonita is a 7000 sf lot, that means it backs up to a trailer park full of 5000 sf manufactured tin boxes McMansions.

Also be sure to try to check this place out on Google Streetview.  Dick Cheney spent millions of our tax dollars on an undisclosed location.  You can have one for under $400,000!

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

12 Responses to “Bonita Means Pretty, and so is this Place: Pretty Awful”

  1. Tracy Tea House Says:

    May 03, 2011 Pending (Pending Without Release) — — Inactive MLSListings #1
    Apr 17, 2011 Listed (Active) $354,250 — Inactive MLSListings #1
    Sep 14, 2010 Sold (Public Records)
    This home was foreclosed

    and bank-owned

    . $479,793 — Public Records
    Apr 07, 2003 Sold (Public Records) $130,000 -18.4%/yr Public Records
    Aug 30, 2002 Sold (Public Records) $147,000 -26.4%/yr Public Records
    May 11, 2001 Sold (Public Records)
    This was not an arm’s length transaction

    . $47,500 — Public Records
    Dec 06, 2000 Sold (Public Records) $250,000 –

  2. Real Estater Says:

    Wow, did this place just get raided by the Navy Seals?

  3. SEA Says:

    OMG! My quick search on Redfin revealed that there are seven of the 2006 built Rayos Del Sol Dr McMansions currently for sale.

    Number; 2006/7 Sale; 2011 List Price
    209 Sold: $630k; $368k (Pending with release-Short)
    261 Sold: $700k; $400k (Pending with release-Short)
    313 Sold: $703k; $400k (Pending with release-Short)
    317 Sold: $718k; $405k (Active-Short)
    321 Sold: $674k; $415k (Active–NOT short)
    353 Sold: $675k; $400k (Pending with release-Short)
    365 Sold: $698k; $430k (Active-Short)

    2006/7 Total Previous selling price: $4,798k ($685k average)
    2011 Total Listing price: $2,818k ($403k average)

    1-2818/4798 = 41%++ average loss on sale. (++ for commissions and other selling expenses, etc.)

    Sum of the Losses: $1,980k ($283k average)

    (Yes, I assumed little to no over-bidding, since there seems to be an abundant supply.)

    And today’s featured Bonita property? FORECLOSED last September for $480k.

    At least all these losses individually are below the “not a lot of money” limit, but if someone was touting that he owned two or more of these, then his total market losses would be above the “not a lot of money” limit.

  4. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Jesus CHRIST that McMansion development is probably the WORST offender I’ve ever seen! And I’ve seen some shitty developments! I hate every single person that rewarded the builder for shitting in the middle of their town by buying one of those shitboxes.

  5. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Ghetto-fabulous! Cracktaculous! Are we sure some joker didn’t substitute pits of some S. American hellhole? There’s a blogger named Ferfal who discusses how to survive in one of these places, you’d better read all of his posts before contemplating buying this POS.

  6. nomadic Says:

    It looks like they practice for the demolition derby in the yard. That’s awesome redneck fun!

  7. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    #5 this is California! The state I’m proud I was born in! We’re talking Okie redneck demo-derbies, some south of the border style chicken fightin’, maybe some Viet billiard game action, now that’s billiards, not the 8-ball nonsense we unsophisticated folks play, it’s played with 3 white balls and a red, or the other way around, and it’s serious, deadly serious, as in shooting serious. Garden Grove style!

    It’s its own Temporary Autonomous Zone, because if the sats and Google Maps can’t find it, the copz never will!

  8. nomadic Says:

    Sure, it’s California, but the only derby I’ve seen was in the sticks in Michigan. I don’t think the tree huggers would approve of the pointless carbon emissions. Well, maybe it would be all right down there in Gilroy?

  9. nomadic Says:

    oh yea, Watsonville:
    http://srt.suddenlaunch.com/index.cgi?board=westprom&action=display&num=1184864086

  10. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Well, down here, chicken fighting is endemic, they bust dog-fighting rings fairly often, and then there’s bullfighting. Harder to hide, but every once in a while someone gets entrepreneurial.

    We all know the real demo-derby’s on 880!

  11. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Wow I checked out the link. Damn that Twatsonville! I’m openly and frankly jealous of our more sophisticated neighbor on the other side of the hills, they have a shootin’ range too.

    I should go into some detail about the shootin’ range they have. It’s not only behind a LIttle Caesar’s pizza restaurant, it’s right next to a “family” mobile home park! Which abounds with little kids! Kids, pizza, and guns, Watsonville, I bow to you.

  12. Predator Pool Cue Ikon 3 Says:

    Wow, did this place just get raided by the Navy Seals?


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