May 9, 2011

OH MY GOD CAWLUHMS!

burbedguestbloggerPlease welcome sfbubblebuyer back to the front page with one of our favorite Burbed memes: Mawbul Kawlums!  The only real shame about today’s house is how incredibly tiny the pictures are, although there are more on the virtual tour.

Please give sfbb your best Real Bay Area Welcome as today’s Guest Blogger!



30 FOX HILL Rd, Woodside, CA 94062
$4,750,000

image

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 4.5
SQ. FT.: 5,300
$/SQ. FT.: $896
LOT SIZE: 6.47 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Colonial
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Bay
YEAR BUILT: 1988
COMMUNITY: Skywood Area
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81117642
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 17 days

Absolutely gorgeous traditional style 5 bed/4.5 bath home with Bay and city views. This very charming custom home has been featured in many magazines. Warm fir floors, tall multi-paned windows, fine molding details and a wonderful floor plan are some of the many features of this exceptional home. The property is set on 6.47 acres and is minutes from Woodside town center.

Check it out! DOUBLE DECKER COLUMNS! Clearly this is a house of style and sophistication. Surely you can imagine having a ‘coming out’ party for your debutante daughter at this glorious estate! She could pull an ‘upper decker’ and wave to guests from the second story balcony flanked by not two, but FOUR glorious columns, with another four below her to hold her aloft on her princess pedestal!

imageThe listing agent also has taste and discretion by omitting pictures of the kitchen. Only the help see the kitchen. We’d rather not sully ourselves by crossing over a thresh-hold into an area where manual labor might be in progress! And note the profusion of windows to keep those lazy maids at work! Maybe you could hire one of the local urchins to smudge the windows for you to make sure the maids never have a moment to spare! Idle hands are the devil’s playthings and all that.

imageSpeaking of idle hands, you won’t have to worry about yours being idle as you laze around your pool ordering the butlers to march back and forth between the house and your chaise refreshing your lemonade and Southern Comfort. It really is amazing how hard you have to work to keep the household humming along. In fact, you better send the chauffeur out to pick up some more brandy. The Chesterwicks are coming over for a couple of rubbers of bridge tonight. It’s a pity you can’t get them interested in a PROPER card game like whist. Ah well, such is the life of the landed gentry in America.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

8 Responses to “OH MY GOD CAWLUHMS!”

  1. maryjane Says:

    Reminds me of Tara – if only those cheap O’Haras had added a second floor like everyone told them to.

  2. SEA Says:

    “If you thought the housing crisis was bad, think again.

    It’s worse.

    Look at this chart. It shows Miami real-estate prices, adjusted for inflation, over the past quarter-century, using Case-Shiller data. The picture is pretty remarkable. The gigantic bubble has been completely wiped out. We’re back to prices seen in the 1980s — when “Miami Vice” was on the air.”

    Yes, I know Miami is a bit far away from the RBA, and with that nice warm water comes the tropical storms, but how far back in time will the pricing go?

    Source

    Oh, and we all know that while the rest of the country burns to the ground, there will be one special area spared: The RBA.

  3. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Ima buy dis house then ima have a Mint Julip.

  4. nomadic Says:

    Warm fur floors?! Oh, how I love to kick off the Birkenstocks and run my toes through fur.

  5. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Note the columns on the backside of the house. This thing appears to be POOPING COLUMNS! I bet there are columns on both sides of the house.

  6. madhaus Says:

    No columns inside the house, so insufficient columnosity awesomenitude.

  7. madhaus Says:

    #2, what the hell are you doing posting something like that here? That article suggests that because most of the country’s real estate market couldn’t possibly be worse, NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY. Except for where it’s Special, where the author says it isn’t.

    I have news for him. THE RBA IS WHERE IT IS ALWAYS THE TIME TO BUY.

  8. SEA Says:

    #7- We all know that in the RBA, everyone should have purchased 30 years ago, or more.

    We also fully understand that it is not possible to price the future into today’s RBA market. It’s the double-double of real estate: If you pay double, you’ll get quadruple the gains!


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