Well, you Burbed readers are a tough crowd. I’ve been recovering from a nasty bout of fever, so I dialed in a quickie Open Houses and Open Thread on Sunday. You guys, I swear! I don’t think any column in Burbed ever got 5 negative votes before. Even a listing credited to a commenter who collects thumbs downs the way East San Jose collects foreclosures did better than that!
Good thing Burbed reader sfbubblebuyer sent in a great listing with commentary ready to go, so I can hide under the covers in my depreciating former RBA house until the recession is over. Keep those contributions coming in, it means the zip code entries will be put off a long, long time!
Please give sfbubblebuyer a big, warm Real Bay Area welcome with today’s Guest Post from beautiful
downtown Burbank San Carlos!
885 SUNSET Dr, San Carlos, CA 94070
SQ. FT.: 1,610
$/SQ. FT.: $465
LOT SIZE: 8,100 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
VIEW: Bay, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1957
COMMUNITY: Beverly Terrace
COUNTY: San Mateo
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 452 days
INCREDIBLE GARDENERS PARADISE. SPACIOUS 2 LEVEL HOME FEATURING 2 SEPARATE LIVING AREAS COMPLETE W/ 2 FULL KITCHENS. 4 bed/3 bath (1bed/1bath is a studio) IDEAL FOR LARGE OR EXTENDED FAMILY. PANORAMIC BAY VIEWS FROM BOTH LEVELS. HUGE SOLAR POOL-MULTI LEVEL REDWOOD DECKS. GORGEOUS NEIGHBORHOOD. DECK HAS BUILT IN/CUSTOM BBQ GRILL. RECESSED LIGHTING. GREAT AMBIANCE. EMAIL ONLY joyadeeb@gmail. com
This house is a short sell WAY below the prices of other houses in San Carlos, yet it has fallen out of escrow four times. (It’s in escrow again! Let’s see how long THIS one lasts.) Why would it be falling out of escrow when it’s almost not-a-lot-of-money less than other houses in the neighborhood? Nearby houses range from 1.1 to 1.6 million! Clearly there is a gaping portal to hell disgorging denizens of the netherworld into the house’s crawlspace! Or perhaps it has foundation issues that would make Bill Murray’s makeup artist blanch with fear. Perhaps Gilbert Gottfried lives in the house next door?
Whatever the reason, this house is slowly crushing the current owner’s balance sheet into a fine paste. Now’s the chance to buy it, slap in some mawbahl cawlums and flip it for 1.5! Get busy! I mean, think of all the flat screen televisions you could have! And you’d finally have the confidence to start that harem you’ve always wanted! BUY BUY BUY!
(But be sure to keep the Ghostbuster’s number handy in case that portal to hell thing turns out to be true.)