May 24, 2011

Pending five times? Is there a portal to hell in the basement?

burbedguestbloggerWell, you Burbed readers are a tough crowd.  I’ve been recovering from a nasty bout of fever, so I dialed in a quickie Open Houses and Open Thread on Sunday.  You guys, I swear!  I don’t think any column in Burbed ever got 5 negative votes before.  Even a listing credited to a commenter who collects thumbs downs the way East San Jose collects foreclosures did better than that!  

Good thing Burbed reader sfbubblebuyer sent in a great listing with commentary ready to go, so I can hide under the covers in my depreciating former RBA house until the recession is over.  Keep those contributions coming in, it means the zip code entries will be put off a long, long time!

Please give sfbubblebuyer a big, warm Real Bay Area welcome with today’s Guest Post from beautiful downtown Burbank San Carlos!


885 SUNSET Dr, San Carlos, CA  94070
$749,000

image

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 1,610
$/SQ. FT.: $465
LOT SIZE: 8,100 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Bay, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1957
COMMUNITY: Beverly Terrace
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81008742
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 452 days

INCREDIBLE GARDENERS PARADISE. SPACIOUS 2 LEVEL HOME FEATURING 2 SEPARATE LIVING AREAS COMPLETE W/ 2 FULL KITCHENS. 4 bed/3 bath (1bed/1bath is a studio) IDEAL FOR LARGE OR EXTENDED FAMILY. PANORAMIC BAY VIEWS FROM BOTH LEVELS. HUGE SOLAR POOL-MULTI LEVEL REDWOOD DECKS. GORGEOUS NEIGHBORHOOD. DECK HAS BUILT IN/CUSTOM BBQ GRILL. RECESSED LIGHTING. GREAT AMBIANCE. EMAIL ONLY joyadeeb@gmail. com

imageThis house is a short sell WAY below the prices of other houses in San Carlos, yet it has fallen out of escrow four times. (It’s in escrow again! Let’s see how long THIS one lasts.) Why would it be falling out of escrow when it’s almost not-a-lot-of-money less than other houses in the neighborhood? Nearby houses range from 1.1 to 1.6 million! Clearly there is a gaping portal to hell disgorging denizens of the netherworld into the house’s crawlspace! Or perhaps it has foundation issues that would make Bill Murray’s makeup artist blanch with fear. Perhaps Gilbert Gottfried lives in the house next door?

image

imageWhatever the reason, this house is slowly crushing the current owner’s balance sheet into a fine paste. Now’s the chance to buy it, slap in some mawbahl cawlums and flip it for 1.5! Get busy! I mean, think of all the flat screen televisions you could have! And you’d finally have the confidence to start that harem you’ve always wanted! BUY BUY BUY!

(But be sure to keep the Ghostbuster’s number handy in case that portal to hell thing turns out to be true.)

Comments (18) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

18 Responses to “Pending five times? Is there a portal to hell in the basement?”

  1. SEA Says:

    “Nearby houses range from 1.1 to 1.6 million!”

    Down the street, 1045 Sunset Dr:

    “Same fantastic house with a crazy low new price! This tranquil home nestled on a private lot close to all the amenities that san Carlos has to offer is here. Situated in the San Carlos School District and offering 3 bed, 2 bath, Family room, office and pool is the best value to date! 2 car garage, extra storage and more!”

    Price: $709k.

    After an $842k foreclosure in late 2010, 2388 BRITTAN Ave sold last month for $685k.

  2. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Yep San Carlos is starting to feel the pain. And I think that house probably has some serious permitting issues. A 4/3 with two kitchens in 1610 sq feet is a bit sardine-esque.

  3. madhaus Says:

    Below 2002 pricing! Maybe this house is a combo of somebody died in it, pet odors, heavy smoker, loaded with history (hoarder lived here, you unpack it), foundation shift, and unmaintained poo.

    Was it owned by DSK?

  4. SEA Says:

    Starting to feel the pain?

    Oh Yeah! Today’s featured property sold in May 2002 for For $825k. I doubt it will sell for over that amount this year, so after nine years, this place is a loss.

    Yes, that’s right. Sure it should double after ten years, but after nine years, the price is under the old sale price, and that’s before selling expenses.

    If I owned property in the local area, I’d definitely be feeling the pain, even if so many claim that it’s cheaper to own.

  5. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    #4: Thanks for that link! Now I have to add Yello to my pandora playlist.

  6. SEA Says:

    I’d like to see price gradient maps for the Bay Area. Somewhere between this property, which has gone down in value after nine years, and the RBA, which has approximately doubled in value during the same time, there must be something interesting.

  7. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    It’s got to be a psycho neighbor or a sex offender next door. Or a psycho sex offender next door.

  8. tuno Says:

    40 million members of the Greatest Generation – selling their houses (well, dying)

    80 million Baby Boomers – selling and downsizing in retirement

    40 million Gen Xers – well, Gilroy Alex?? is our age bracket going to buy up 120 million dwellings?

    and then the Millennials – I don’t suppose they’ll be buying anytime soon, what with lousy jobs and college debt

    none of this will affect the RBA, I’m sure . . .

  9. * Says:

    “Even a listing credited to a commenter who collects thumbs downs the way East San Jose collects foreclosures did better than that!”

    i lol’d

  10. Alex Says:

    #8,

    You forgot one big equalizer.

    The invaders from Mexico and China will want to live in the RBA and will continue driving up housing prices.

  11. Mole Man Says:

    Maybe every time it goes pending the buyer is notified they would have to clean up the meth lab that gave the house its unique odor.

  12. nomadic Says:

    Good thing California has a disclosure for that! (Seriously, they do. Not that meth heads are known to be honest about that sort of thing.)

    Apparently this is becoming a real issue for buyers:
    http://articles.cnn.com/2010-11-29/us/couple.buys.meth.house_1_meth-lab-home-inspectors-drug-lab?_s=PM:US

  13. SEA Says:

    I should have know what was meant by “light bulbs and Drano.”

    Light bulbs-

    “Light bulbs are hollowed out and used to heat either powder or crystal Meth. The fumes are inhaled.”

    Drano-

    “[Meth] labs are characteristically small and make use of common household appliances, glassware and chemicals that are readily available in most stores. Some of the chemicals used are: starting fluid, Drano, alcohol and paint thinner.”

    And not being able to think of much else- You be the Judge as to why that might be.

  14. Swan Says:

    If you want to live next door to a sex offender, this is the house for you: http://www.redfin.com/CA/San-Jose/2371-Sunny-Vista-Dr-95128/home/566561. Check the Megan’s Law site or crimereports.com. A registed sex offender lives at 2375 Sunny Vista. Up until a few months ago, another sex offender lived across the street.

  15. DreamT Says:

    #14 – If you don’t want to live next to a sex offender, simply hunt for a house within a few blocks of a school. No need to even look up the sex offender registry.

  16. tuno Says:

    DreamT, that’s if you don’t want to live next to a *convicted, registered* sex offender. If you want to live next to an *active* sex offender, well, they probably *flock* to neighborhoods near schools.

  17. DreamT Says:

    tuno – ugh… sex offenders flocking? what a gloomy thought.

  18. Real Estater Says:

    >>This house is a short sell WAY below the prices of other houses in San Carlos, yet it has fallen out of escrow four times.

    Duh…maybe that’s precisely the problem? When the price is too good to be true, there is no way the bank will approve it. 40% of the short sales don’t close. Stay away.


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