Thanks to Burbed reader and occasional Guest Editor sonarrat for today’s featured home.
SQ. FT.: 1,228
$/SQ. FT.: $265
LOT SIZE: 5,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
YEAR BUILT: 1963
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 18 days
REGULAR SALE * * COMMERCIAL ZONE * * GREATE BUSINESS POORTUNITY * THIS PROPERTY FEATURES 3BED/2BTH INCLUDES UPGRADE SUCH AS NEW PAINT, KITCHEN CABINETS, GRANITE COUNTER TOP, PERGO FLOOR, BATHROOM, NEW LANDSCAPE FRONT/BACK, GARAGE CONVERTED * CONVENIENT ACCESS TO SHOPPING CENTER & FREEWAYS * READY FOR MOVE IN CONDITION * SPECIAL PROGRAM FOR FIRST TIME HOME BUYER * OPEN HOUSE 12-2PM 06/26 * THANKS FOR VIEWING
Here’s what sonarrat said about why this listing was sent in for your enjoyment:
Instant Entry into Real Estate Copy Hall of Fame
Wow, this place even has 2/3 of the Pergraniteel Hat Trick. Sorry, no “stainless steal” appliances, but you can’t have everything at these prices, not to mention this location, location, location! What could be better for a BUSINESS POORTUNITY than Story near King? I mean, it already has an overflow parking lot!
Is it my imagination of is this ceiling not exactly level?
And it never occurred to me to use Pergo in the living room. The warm wood-like structure really brings out the natural-like fiber structure in the furniture.
Now let’s take a look at those UPGRADE, like the kitchen cabinets.
Hey! Somebody stole some stainless after all, as well as the refrigerator!
What’s with the blue-green metallic dishwasher? Maybe that was a close-out on somebody’s dream house who ran out of cash equity to borrow against. Then the dishwasher found its way here because it’s such a high-class appliance, who cares if it doesn’t match the cabinets or the range or the missing fridge? That’s a BUSINESS POORTUNITY.
Now I am really wondering what color the refrigerator was. At this rate I expect it was candy-apple red metalflake.
This yard picture is so perfect in so many ways. How do I count thee, mismatched patio sections, trellis suggestive of incarceration, and those trash cans in the back yard instead of hidden along the side.
Think of how convenient it is to have the trash receptacles right on the patio for your next outdoor fete! None of your guests will be holding empty hors d’oeuvres plates for hours while making small talk through tight smiles.
And holy moley, couldn’t the agent bother to put the hose away for this photo?
Finally, here’s the location, location, location for your BUSINESS POORTUNITY! And the homeloaner must have a sixth sense for these poortunities, because that living room Pergo is in the converted garage as well as one of the bedrooms, too! The stuff might have fallen off a truck, or else it was a huge spaving (spend lots to save more)!
One last note: This home isn’t in move-in condition. It is, instead, READY FOR MOVE IN CONDITION. Any suggestions what extra steps must be taken by the sucker lucky buyer who has this place pending?
THANKS FOR VIEWING