July 7, 2011


Many thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this record-breaking listing.

2451 Larkin St, San Francisco, CA 94109


BATHS: 4.5
SQ. FT.: 4,590
$/SQ. FT.: $708
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
STYLE: Contemporary, Modern/High Tech
VIEW: Panoramic, City Lights, Bay, Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, Garden/Greenbelt, Forest
COMMUNITY: Russian Hill
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 384261
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 58 days

Boasting approx. 4,590 square feet, this amazing remodeled home offers breathtaking full span Golden Gate Bridge views & stunning views of the Bay, Palace of Fine Arts, Marin Headlands, & the City. 5BR, 4.5BA, foyer, gorgeous staircase, living room with fireplace, dining room, eat-in gourmet kitchen, family rm, upper view living rm, wet bar, work rm, 2 laundry rms, huge walk-out view terrace, w-out patio, excellent storage, garden, security system, Siedle intercom system, large 2 car garage with interior access, wired for CAT 5, wired for sound in many rms w/ 5 zones of B & W speakers, hi ceilings, hardwood floors, skylights, double paned windows, secondary staircase, + a legal unit. On a prime flat tree-lined blk in prestigious Russian Hill.

imageOne of the recurring complaints we’ve had with listings here are those with no or very few photos.  If you want us to plunk down not a lot of money for a house, we’d like to know it’s worth our while to spend the time to visit it.

No problem here! This 100+ year-old house not only will cost you a lot of money, even by RBA standards, but nobody is going to complain there aren’t enough pictures, either.  Even if two of the first three aren’t of the house at all but some stupid bridge that isn’t included.

Yes, you read that right.  82 pictures.  Which one is your personal favorite?  It’s hard to choose, but here are a few that helped today’s listing earn its wtf tag. Yet many of them are so perfectly suited to this Dwell parody site that the captions practically write themselves.



That poorly-socialized chair once again blocked the harmonic flow between the golden glazed pottery and the wood stove.


Japanese elements such as rice paper and red pine could not disguise the fact that this was still a jail cell.







Okay, now you try it!  Or you can pick any picture number from the listing and provide your caption!


This last one is thrown in to note that you can spend over three million dollars for this place and not get a single square foot of actual land included.

Comments (22) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

22 Responses to “Photopalooza”

  1. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    I recognize the recycled glass/concrete bathroom sink there. It’s an interesting counter top, and they have many that aren’t nearly so garish. Here’s the caption : “Much like your dreams, many bottles were broken to create this recycled concrete tomb.”

  2. SamAdu Says:

    Recycled concrete, eh sfbubblebuyer!!!!

  3. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    No. Recycled glass and new concrete. Sorry I didn’t spell it out for you.

    It’s the glass that’s recycled.


    Smooth counter tops with glass as aggregate like that are not going to use old concrete crushed into aggregate. That makes zero sense.

    Concrete recycling is moving more and more to on-site recycling with the advent of concrete crushing attachments to small construction equipment. Since the hauling and re-hauling is expensive, it generally doesn’t make a TON of economic sense to haul concrete to a crusher, haul it to a distribution center, then haul it to a job site.

    Bringing a crusher to the job site cuts out tons (literally!) of hauling.

  4. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    As a continuation of my discussion about Emerald Hills yesterday, here’s a house that sold in an ‘overbid’ situation just last month :


    (Note, RE, the use of a useful site, not Motovo)

    I expected it to go for almost 100k less, and lanquish for at least a few months.

  5. nomadic Says:

    In spite of all the recycling talk, I liked your caption, sfbb:

    “Much like your dreams, many bottles were broken to create this recycled concrete tomb.”

  6. madhaus Says:

    #5, obviously it went quickly and over asking price because the agent used “its” correctly, twice.

    7500 sf lot? One of the things I like about Emerald Hills/Lake is the bigger lots. Guess that doesn’t apply here. 7500 isn’t bad, but it isn’t supersized, either.

  7. madhaus Says:

    My caption for the dishwasher picture (under the Japanese jail cell):

    When she noticed his oh-so-casual maneuver of leaving the dishwasher door ajar in hopes she’d be impressed by the ubiquitous European brand name, she fled before the Screaming Eagle had finished breathing.

  8. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    #6: That section is closer to Farm Hills in character than Emerald Hills. 7500 is about the smallest the lots get, at least, which is a nice change from the 5000 sq foot lots in Deadwood Shitty proper.

    It’s on one of the flattest areas that doesn’t house giant houses.

    This is one area where they are still slapping up huge houses. There’s one that I drive/bike by every day coming on the market very soon that I’ve been dying to see show up so I can submit it to burbed. Giant house on a hill with a driveway cut into the hill below the house… and the bare minimum done for the retaining wall on said driveway. In 5-20 years, landslide city!

    Here’s an example of the type of houses being built in this area : http://www.redfin.com/CA/Redwood-City/842-Mohican-Way-94062/home/21967629

    Note that this one went for 9% under asking price back in 2009. It’ll be interesting to see how the ‘new construction’ coming out soon will hold up.

    There’s also some serious refurbs going on in the area. There is a ‘to the studs’ remodel going on down on Jefferson : http://www.redfin.com/CA/Redwood-City/3644-Jefferson-Ave-94062/home/1931810

    Check out the street view for a delicious view of crapbox city. I can’t wait to see what this goes for next year. I should stop and get a photo of the current state of affairs.

  9. SEA Says:

    #4- Sure it sold for more than the asking price, but did you notice in over 10 years it went from $805k to $1,085k?

    I would have expected the over-bidding to bring the price right up to where it needs to be, which is at least $1.6M.

  10. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    #9: So that’s 10 years of roughly 3% inflation. Sounds like they overpaid in 2000!

  11. madhaus Says:

    #8, oh that Streetview of the Jefferson Ave property is craptastic! I can’t wait for your writeup, gets LOTS of photos.

    #9, great point about the 2000 price.

  12. SEA Says:

    #10- Please understand that it is simply not possible to overpay for any real estate.

  13. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Long day for me. I did a bit of looking around my old haunts in Sunnyvale and Mountain View.

    Starbucks on Castro, your new layout ROCKS. I always liked you, but now you are the coolest Starbucks EVAR.

    That Mondrian development is ….. horrible. It looks like a giant encrustation of quartz crystals, the kind with iron etc., in ’em that you can never scrub clean. At least if you buy there (and procreate, I know this is going out on a limb) your kids are gonna like trolleys.

    Fry’s in Sunnyvale ….. this is gonna drive me to join Yelp, honestly. They sell FAR less tools than they did a few years ago, have much less movies (it used to be fun to hunt for, and buy, obscure DVDs there) and your Sale Table tells it all. On the Sale Table was, for half-price, a set of Excelite diagonal cutters with, drumroll please, one side missing! Yep one of the “blades” snapped off, making them not worth half of the original price but worth NOTHING because there’s you can do with effectively, a half-scissor. I hope I never have to go there again, it’s that sad. Keep in mind this was THE Fry’s, there’s a reason it’s got technical artifacts like one of Philo Farnsworth’s dissector tubes and an original Poulson arc transmitter etc in there. You can’t even buy a real soldering iron in there (production line grade, the only kind I’ll own) anymore.

    There are actually a number of construction sites in Sunnyvale and Santa Clara for ugly new buildings, why, in a Depression?

  14. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Just got a notification that they’re lowering my property taxes because I overpaid in 2009! WOO HOO!

  15. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Very cool bubblebuyer!

    B&W in terms of speakers means Barker & Williamson, big whoop.

    The colored bits of glass in the counter material are kinda cool, actually.

  16. Real Estater Says:

    >>Just got a notification that they’re lowering my property taxes because I overpaid in 2009!

    Bad news. If your property tax isn’t going up by the max amount each year, you’re screwed.

  17. SEA Says:

    You didn’t overpay; others underpaid.

  18. DreamT Says:

    Yet another Caltrain casualty in Palo Alto. At this point, the place must be cursed. Fair warning to anybody who might consider purchasing there.

  19. Real Estater Says:

    But…the downtown library is to die for.

  20. Petsmart groomer Says:

    > Yet another Caltrain casualty in Palo Alto.

    Unhappy hipster?

    (Thank you madhaus for the website)

  21. tuno Says:

    re the white sink photo: “The Faucet Family had eaten some bad bolts, and so lined up to be ill in Mr. Sink.”

    re the closet: “Mr. Rich wanted his daughter to be a corporate lawyer. Mrs. Rich wanted her to be a ballerina! They compromised on little Miss Rich’s room design.”

    re the “yard”: “Smells like dog urine. Um, we hope.”

  22. very amused Says:

    I am very amused by the closet photo.

    “He was always underwhelmed by the walk-in refrigerator. Where was that enoki tapanade?”

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