August 6, 2011

Take on the world. Then come home to your tandem garage.

Anyone check out Fusion Sunnyvale?  Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer found some of the marketing copy a little over the top:

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Your life is a frenzy of color, flashing lights and movement. Facebook. Twitter. Email. Blogging. Texting. Meetings. Deadlines. Commuting.

Every day you take on the world. So, you deserve to come home to a beautiful place where you can recharge and relax, entertain and regroup. You want a neighborhood that is alive and vibrant with a fitness room to workout, places to mingle and space to hang out with your friends. You deserve soothing gardens to wander, a putting green to play and walking paths for your dog. It’s your time to do what you want, when you want, in your own community.

Introducing Fusion at Sunnyvale, a townhome community filled with everyday things that fuse your life. The homes have style and all the features you desire at a price you can afford. At the hub of the neighborhood, there is a fitness center, theater, Wi-Fi bar and fire pit. Everything that you need at the end of a long day.
So take on the world, then come home. To Fusion.

imageAs Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer correctly notes, you can’t spell FUSION without F-U.

So let’s take a good look at this complex that’s such a wonderful place to call home, they show a chair instead of the “Spanish-Eclectic and contemporary architecture by KTGY architects.”

You have to click all the way down to BLOG to find out what the place looks like!  And the name of the blog?  “Short Fuse.”  How clever!  They already worked out that the properties would be selling shortly through their preferred lenders!  (More coming shortly after the break!)

imageNot only that, 30 of the 228 Fusion townhomes are reserved for BMR (Below Market Rate) buyers.  First-come, first-serve, so you’re probably too late.  You didn’t want to deal with tandem parking in the garages anyway (in the four smallest plans, or 126 units), not to mention that there are 228 homes but only 203 unassigned parking spaces throughout the development.

This real estate site, Bay Area, Real Estate House Price and Mortgage Blog, mentioned that Fusion was originally Serrawood Sunnyvale, but John Laing Homes went bankrupt after building 14 homes, and another builder, O’Brien Homes, took over the project.

Ah, you ask about location, location, location?  Glad you did!  Right in the heart of Sunnyvale, or rather, right in the heart of Superfund at De Guigne Drive and Glen Valley Terrace, right off East Duane Avenue!

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This might look okay, but let’s see the whole neighborhood.

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What a lovely mélange of crapboxes and light industry!

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Building a townhome community over a huge polluted groundwater plume caused by 4 different Superfund sites?  Priceless.  Literally.  I can’t find any prices on the Fusion website, but this site, Bay Area Connect, copied the price sheet.    And the HOA will start at $300 a month, and that’s without a swimming pool.

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You might need F-U to spell Fusion, but I spell it another way.  Gables End 3.0.

Comments (39) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

39 Responses to “Take on the world. Then come home to your tandem garage.”

  1. Alex Says:

    Don’t be so bitter and envious!

    Who needs a pool when you and your loved ones can go swimming in the SuperFund Waste Pond?!!

  2. Sam_Adu Says:

    Is the place called Fusion Townhomes because the water in the ground could be used to power a nuclear fusion power plant? (Completely joking. Please no lawsuits. The Adu family is already having cash flow problems).

    Seriously, what sort of idiot builds on top of a SuperFund site and then alludes to radioactivity and contamination in the name of the new construction?

    What’s next? New townhouse development in East Palo Alto on “Murderer’s Row Avenue”?

    Homes in Fremont on “2 Hour Drive to Job” Street?

  3. SEA Says:

    “What parking will be available at Fusion?

    Each home at Fusion will have a two-car garage. In addition, there will be 203 common, unassigned spaces available to be used by guests and residents. Note that residents need to fully use their assigned, enclosed parking spaces prior to using unassigned parking spaces.”

    Uh, don’t these guys understand that parking in the garage is another basic RBA violation?

  4. madhaus Says:

    No pool, but a fire pit? They can’t fool me. I bet it’s a PORTAL TO HELL.

  5. Petsmart groomer Says:

    > Spanish-Eclectic and contemporary architecture by KTGY architects.

    I had no idea radio stations had architects.

  6. Petsmart groomer Says:

    From the blog: The recent Fusion Model Grand Opening event was a huge success! Visitors to Fusion were able to tour five model homes, with interiors designed by Julie Ann Stark and Jeff Cooley of CDC […]

    Interiors designed by Center for Disease Control and Prevention?

  7. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Aw, you people, quit yer bitchin’.

    For one thing, the average Slummyvale inmate is too busy working 80 hours a week to even find out where the fire pit is. If they do, they’ll find it being put to work by homeless techies to cook their dinner over. Work, work, work, commute, commute, commute. …. a “home” is just a box to store your body in while not at work or commuting to/from work.

    At least the fools “living” in these shitboxes will be able to walk to Fry’s. And the Kit-Kat club.

  8. MS Says:

    “Your life is a frenzy of color, flashing lights and movement.”

    Why does this sound like a DUI stop on 101? .

    “Facebook. Twitter. Email. Blogging. Texting. Meetings. Deadlines. Commuting.”
    One-word sentences, trending since 1990. I guess you didn’t see the large sign at 101/280 telling you not to text, either.

    “…You deserve to come home to a beautiful place where you can recharge and relax, entertain and regroup.”
    …And if the PUD is 50 percent rentals in two years and the value of the unit is down 25 percent, you’ll just stop paying for it, because you deserve better.

    “You want a neighborhood that is alive and vibrant with a fitness room to workout, places to mingle and space to hang out with your friends.”
    Yuppie cloister in a iffy neighborhood? Just a guess.

    “You deserve soothing gardens to wander, a putting green to play and walking paths for your dog. It’s your time to do what you want, when you want, in your own community.”

    …Your dog does what he wants with another dog while you’re doing what you want.

    “Introducing Fusion at Sunnyvale, a townhome community filled with everyday things that fuse your life.”
    …And full of the types who piss you off on your commute.

    “At the hub of the neighborhood, there is a fitness center, theater, Wi-Fi bar and fire pit. Everything that you need at the end of a long day.”

    Can you imagine having to drive home from SF or even PA to this?
    Fry’s does not make up for it.

  9. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    When I lived in Slummyvale all the apartment complexes had gyms, fire pits, pools, etc. Hardly anyone used them, with the exception of the pools, used by every kid within miles. Oh to be a kid in Slummyvale! It’s one long pool party all summer! They do the “pool crawl” all day, you see ‘em in groups carrying towels and goggles etc., from complex to complex. Of course one kid has a “bug” and the whole town get exposed…. no one over the age of 15 uses the pools for this reason and the ear-assault of 43 screaming kidlets.

    So where do the older creepers go? To the gyms! Those tend to have a few middle-aged Indian housewives really and truly trying to lose a few lbs of accumilated ghee. And the oldish weirdish guys.

    So the apartments have all this cool stuff, but no one but kids and old creeps have the time or inclination to use it. So how is overpaying for your own cell in one of these beehives going to turn you into a person who works out, swims, or has friends to sit around a fire pit with?

  10. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    #8 that’s funny about the dogs.

    Should I bring up that Sunnyvale is just about Ground Zero for the “furry” crowd?

  11. madhaus Says:

    FUSION TOWNHOMES is a fusion of X and Y.

    Your mission: Provide values for X and Y.

    Example: Wage slavery & toxic groundwater.

    Another try: Cubicles & bedrooms.

    Go!

  12. MS Says:

    There’s not even a pool to get pinkeye in.
    But hey, you can stop paying for a condo and just keep living in it even after foreclosure.

    Here, like this:
    http://www.loansafe.org/forum/deed-lieu-foreclosure-do-you-need-help-walk-away/40583-walk-complete-san-mateo-county-almost.html

  13. MS Says:

    X) Dog food and Y) curry buffet, marinating and forgotten in the stainless steel fridge.

  14. MS Says:

    An “included feature” is “CAT-5 wiring.”
    They’re advertising that they have 7-year-old Ethernet cords behind the drywall.
    This marketing is supposed to be aimed at a segment who…knows where Fry’s is.

  15. Petsmart groomer Says:

    Remember this house across the street? Sold for $355K a week ago!

  16. SEA Says:

    “Jun 27, 2011 Sold (Public Records)
    This home was foreclosed. $365,500 — Public Records”

  17. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    #14 – Take a walk around the Slummyvale Fry’s. It’s a shadow of its former self. No more commercial grade soldering irons, almost no quality tools, 1/4 of their former DVD stock (it used to be a cool place to find obscure movies) and stupid “sale tables” around with really junky stuff. These days it’s no more geeky than Long’s Drugs. Where you might find a “high tech” Cat-5 cable in a blister pack for $7.99.

  18. * Says:

    http://www.regishomes.com/gablesend-blog/2010/09/

    gables end was advertising just one home left in sept 2010. 3 bed for $660k. they should be sold out by now.

  19. madhaus Says:

    Re: Sunnyvale Fry’s.

    Sunnyvale Fry’s cannot possibly be “a shadow of its former self” because it IS its former self. The same chips from 1974 are still on the shelves, and at the same price. There are 6820 PIOs on the shelves, which are worthless without a Motorola 6800 microprocessor (which they don’t have). So if you need a PIO for an 8-bit microprocessor, come on down!

  20. Real Estater Says:

    The future of Sunnyvale will resume construction in the fall:

    “It would be a wonderful place for people to come down to and live,” he said. “And if there are companies like ours that are part of that whole community and people can live, work and shop in the same area, that’s going to be great.”

    Other downtown businesses are also excited.

  21. Petsmart groomer Says:

    > [Senior
    vice president of Broadcom’s Home and Wireless Networking business unit] Hulston said Sunnyvale will ultimately be like downtown San Jose.

    Sunnyvale Police Department better be hiring then.

  22. madhaus Says:

    “We’re optimistic and very excited because right now it’s obviously kind of unsightly. We’re not so happy with the fencing and things like that, and we want to see it come together,” said Michael Hurlston, senior
    vice president of Broadcom’s Home and Wireless Networking business unit. “Obviously, we’re going to be looking for any disruptions there that would probably be more impactful. I would hope the city is going to work with us and make sure that doesn’t happen, but that’s something I think we’re going to have to work through as that development kicks off.”

    Translation: I hope our crappy neighborhood isn’t transformed into a sh!thole when you dig that PORTAL TO HELL.

  23. nomadic Says:

    Ahh, hope springs eternal (from the portal to hell) in Sunnyvale!

  24. Real Estater Says:

    Geithner uses “math is hard” attack against S&P 500:

    “They’ve handled themselves very poorly. And they’ve shown a stunning lack of knowledge about the basic U.S. fiscal budget math,”

    Geithner on foreign investors:

    He predicted that China and investors would remain strong purchasers of U.S. government debt.

    He said he had “absolutely no concern” that China, the largest foreign holder of U.S. government debt, would stop buying that debt.

  25. tuno Says:

    Speaking of middle-aged Indian housewives, do you realize that they are going to be the richest demographic in the world??? for 3000 years, more or less, they’ve been accumulating gold jewelry. now, at $1700/oz., their dowries are going to make their country the richest in the world.

    RE, people who post investment advice on blogs often add disclaimers. for good reason. Just saying.

  26. nomadic Says:

    Are you enjoying your market ride back up today?

  27. SEA Says:

    What color is the light today?

  28. nomadic Says:

    700 more points to an official bear market… it’s already down 1750 points from the last peak.

  29. Feel the WOW! [Burbed.com] Says:

    […] a firepit.  I’m feeling that WOW! factor already.  I thought you had to buy in Sunnyvale to get one of […]

  30. John S Says:

    good lord, for that crappy location and all the problems, they are now asking $540000 for plan 4…

  31. Bina Says:

    Thanks for this post. We were seriously contemplating this place until I came across your site. I’m glad it was before we went ahead and purchased a unit there.

  32. Quincy Katz Says:

    Price appreciation @ Fusion of nearly $200k in 18 months thanks for the great advice NOT to buy in early. 228 homes- all SOLD now…thanks Burbed.

  33. SEA Says:

    How did you arrive at that “price appreciation of nearly $200k in 18 months?”

  34. Quincy Katz Says:

    Mathematics. Homes that sold for x at the beginning (price sheet above) sold for x + $200k at the end.

  35. nomadic Says:

    Look on the bright side, Quincy. You probably haven’t sprouted a third arm either.

  36. madhaus Says:

    I bet Gables End is selling for more as well. The bubbly is BACK, baby!

  37. nomadic Says:

    Hmm, Redfin shows no sales for the past six months. There are a few pending.

    1882sf – was $627k last year, now pending at $795k
    ………another pending at $750k
    1198sf – was $462k, now pending at $508k
    1482sf – was $530k, now pending at $675k

    A bit short of $200k in all cases, but that’s not a lot of money anyway. At least the guy with 1198sf will cover his selling costs with his “great” appreciation. I wonder how he feels about that “investment.”

  38. nomadic Says:

    I take it back. There were a few sales in June 2012. Looks like they were the dregs of the original builder’s units.

    http://www.redfin.com/homes-for-sale#!lat=37.386717850175074&long=-122.0028454214177&market=sanfrancisco&sf=&sold_within_days=180&status=131&uipt=4,3,2,1&v=8&zoomLevel=17

  39. SEA Says:

    More REALTOR math:

    Take the last units sold, likely those that were priced at a premium, and subtract from that the crappy teaser priced units, and now you have “price appreciation.”

    lovely.


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