SQ. FT.: 1,612
$/SQ. FT.: $413
LOT SIZE: 7,200 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
YEAR BUILT: 1968
COMMUNITY: Blossom Valley
COUNTY: Santa Clara
ON REDFIN: 11 days
OH Sat/Sun 2-4 Wonderful updated floor plan in great “Thousand Oaks Neighborhood” * Open floor plan * hardwood floors * crown molding * granite counters * plantation shutters * extensive use of pavers * outstanding backyard oasis with custom covered patio, palm trees and pebble tec pool * Close to park and schools * This one is a must see.
Looking this listing over, I didn’t see that much wrong with it. Admittedly the décor’s a little out of fashion (okay, a LOT) and the agent could have done a better job with the photos.
Dim dining rooms, more granite than kitchen, and a sky that shrieks “This was shopped!” are mildly interesting, but not worthy of front-page status on Burbed. But “this one is definitely a must see,” yet I’m not talking about the house. Here’s why Ek sent this listing in:
Zoom up on the Google Street view….the owner is communicating to you.
SQ. FT.: 1,152
$/SQ. FT.: $955
LOT SIZE: 0.83 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
YEAR BUILT: 1935
COMMUNITY: South San Jose
COUNTY: Santa Clara
ON REDFIN: 44 days
NEARLY 1 ACRE of LAND (36,062 SF. ) THE PROPERTY HAS LOTS OF POTENTIAL. TRUE VALUE IS IN THE LAND. “REGULAR SALE”. A very rare finding property in San Jose—nearby lots of public amenities. “REGULAR SALE”! — OPPORTUNITY !!! OPPORTUNITY !!! OPPORTUNITY !!! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.
Tired of living in a cooped-up apartment? Hate hearing neighbors through walls? Maybe you need some elbow room, and you’ll fit plenty of elbows here. Haven’t you heard? This is a very rare finding property. Also the agent is USING ALL CAPS because he can’t believe this one isn’t a short sale or REO.
That means faster turnaround time for YOU to MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE because the bank won’t be throwing roadblocks at you every step of the way. You can definitely make a lot of dreams come true with this much space, as long as your dream included South San Jose. But it says OPPORTUNITY !!! three times.
BEDS: 3 BATHS: 2 SQ. FT.: 1,104 $/SQ. FT.: $575 LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft. PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family STORIES: 1 YEAR BUILT: 1955 COMMUNITY: Thompson COUNTY: Santa Clara MLS#: 81138357 SOURCE: MLSListings STATUS: Active ON REDFIN: 4 days
Fixer-upper – situated in a pleasant setting on a tree shaded cul-de-sac lot. Improvements in progress. Fully functional, but desperate for a kitchen makeover, and a remodeled master bath.
Is the house desperate for both a kitchen makeover and a remodeled master bath? Is it desperate for a kitchen makeover, and it HAS a remodeled master bath? How desperate are you? How desperate is the agent to sell this place, when he only gave us three photos to help make up our minds?
As to the existing kitchen: WOW. Colors that POP and appliances that STAND OUT. I swear, I’ve seen appliances on porches in Kentucky that are more up to date than this range.
Maybe the agent isn’t being as honest as Petsmart Groomer suggests. Maybe just as when an agent says “up to date” and you observe a kitchen with the latest 1974 fixtures, when this agent says “desperate” he really meant “If you don’t rebuild it the split second you remove the contingencies, someone’s toddler will sneeze on these single-pane windows and the whole house will pancake.”
Mmmm, pancakes! Better makeover the kitchen if you want some!
Meanwhile, I’m hoping this agent takes more photos of the house. A few more of them should help hold the house together. They’d have to be stronger than those windows.
It’s nice to remember what Burbed started out as: the site with expensive crapboxes. Today we go back to our roots with a prime find, centrally located in the not-in-Campbell part of San Jose. And if you object that this is not a lot of money, remember that the median price for a home in California is now $252,000.
BEDS: 4 BATHS: 2 SQ. FT.: 1,277 $/SQ. FT.: $301 LOT SIZE: 8,024 Sq. Ft. PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family STYLE: Traditional STORIES: 1 VIEW: Neighborhood YEAR BUILT: 1954 COMMUNITY: Campbell COUNTY: Santa Clara MLS#: 81123104 SOURCE: MLSListings STATUS: Sold
Large lot in Campbell Union School District, close to Moorpark and 280. Home is a project in need of alot of work; ready for a contractor. 4th bedroom added- no permits. Property is unlikely to qualify for low down financing. Utilities are off.
I’m sorry this place has already been sold to a contractor ready for alot of work, but this one is Special on so many levels. There’s so much to admire about the photography. For one, the agent appears to know how to set the date properly. Also the outdoor pictures were taken at 10:00, while the indoor pictures were taken at 1:20. Any ideas what he was doing in the interim?
What I really appreciate about these pictures is how well the landscaping complements the interior. And do be sure to check out the listing history. Seems like this hot potato’s been tossed to several people who decided they didn’t want a bite after all. Wonder who the sucker lucky ducky is who caught this delicious house project?
Next, this property has been personally inspected by a Redfin Agent who is enrolled in the Witness Protection Program!
BEDS: 2 BATHS: 2 SQ. FT.: 906 $/SQ. FT.: $579 LOT SIZE: 943 Sq. Ft. PROPERTY TYPE: Condominium STORIES: 1-3 (Low Rise) YEAR BUILT: 1962 COMMUNITY: College COUNTY: Santa Clara MLS#: 81136262 SOURCE: MLSListings STATUS: Active ON REDFIN: 33 days
Open 8/20 8/21 2nd floor overlooking sparkling pool Huge36ftx6ft Patio Balcony Granite kitchen, granite floor, Brand new bathrooms, Loads of light, Excellent Palo Alto School District, Vacant, Close to CalTrain, El Camino California Ave. Walk to Stanford. Very bright unit with Atrium on one side and pool on the other side.
At first I thought it was some sort of prison, but then I realized that it was ‘not a lot of money’ more than not a lot of money.
Prison? Don’t be ridiculous. This is a highly secure storehouse for your hard-earned savings! Just look at all these different places you could keep them in while they multiply, and all you have to do is live here.
Now check out how much the previous owners were all able to accomplish in putting their money to work:
See? These transactions are Special, just like you’ll be when you take advantage of this amazing offer to “Walk to Stanford.” It’s a beautiful 1.6 mile walk to Memorial Hall, on the Road of Kings, even! If I were you, I’d get walking to that agent’s office right now.
Cherry Blossom Time Classical haiku subject Indicating Spring
Here’s a find from the Sunnyvale Historical Museum: an ad for an apartment complex in a book given out to Lockheed workers transferring here from Van Nuys.
No full-color pictures, just a wall of text and a little map so you can barely tell what street the rentals are on. But wow, oh, wow: shuffleboard! And $97.50 a month. In 1965. I suspect the place will rent for a tad more than that now, if it’s still standing.
This place is indeed still standing. And you can Apply On-Line! Just check out what you get when you throw away your rent money:
Large Private, Enclosed Patio
Pool (Out Door)
2 24hr Laundry Rooms
What? No more shuffleboard?
The rent is now $1,399 for a 615 square foot 1 bedroom apartment (complete with hand-drawn floor plan!).
Completely different text now:
Welcome to Cherry Blossom Apartment Homes. We are conveniently located near El Camino and Wolfe Rd in Sunnyvale. Great Quiet, Neighborhood! Our One bedroom/One bath are all Single Story(no one living above you.) Quite Spacious, and Airy. We are in walking distance to public transportation, grocery stores, restaurants, Santa Clara Schools(Including Ponderosa and Braly Elementary) and (Peterson Jr. High), Sunken Gardens Golf Course, Parks and Starbucks. We accept cats with a small security deposit and have no pet rent! Also included with your rent is water and garbage! Call or Stop by for a tour, and don’t forget to ask if there is any specials. We are professionally managed by FPI, and thrive to make your home a happy one!
Wow, they give you garbage for your rent! Worth it for the extra $1301 they’re charging for a place built before 1965. But no shuffleboard.
Everybody can find some poor fool losing a Lexus or BMW worth of money on their unfortunate adventures in home-ownership. But in the rarefied air surrounding Emerald Lake Hills in Redwood City, you can turn the dream of home ownership into the nightmare of losing 5-10 years of average tech worker salary. Make sure to whisper as we talk about these gems as we wouldn’t want the current buyers to figure out they caught a knife just yet! Let that be an unpleasant surprise for them in a few years.
But if you’re worried that’s not a REAL haircut, just a dreamer being rudely disabused of his or her little fantasy, let’s take a peak buyer’s banker’s pain and put it on display… a $386k haircut for the bank! There were two loans, so two banks dueled it out to see who would spill the most blood on THAT deal. I’m sure that Pyrrhic victory left the bank feeling like a million bucks!
Too pedestrian? Don’t worry, people with real skin in the game and a much higher price point joined in the blood letting with anot-a-lot-of-money loss of a half million and change. The good news is the sellers stuck to their guns and squeezed and extra $412 bucks for their little slice of hemorrhaging-cash-like-a-diarrhea-afflicted-elephant-heaven. I’m sure that took the sting off of it.
Yes, there are many ways to lose your mASSarati in Emerald Hills real estate! Come join the party!
Some homes are built on spec and the builder hopes for a sucker purchaser before construction is complete. Sometimes an owner builds a Dream House and runs out of money along the way. In both cases, a sketch of what the finished construction will look like is of great help in trying to sell the place.
Your job today is find out why this house has a courtroom artist’s rendering instead of photos.
BEDS: 3 BATHS: 3 SQ. FT.: 1,978 $/SQ. FT.: $454 LOT SIZE: 6,250 Sq. Ft. TYPE: Detached STYLE: Craftsman STORIES: 3+ VIEW: Bay Bridge, Golden Gate Bridge YEAR BUILT: 1923 COMMUNITY: Central Piedmont COUNTY: Alameda MLS#: 40543313 SOURCE: EBRD STATUS: New ON REDFIN: 1 day NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)
Light and bright brown shingle located on one of Piedmont’s most beautiful streets. Amazing opportunity.
This is a mystery, all right. Expensive town, great school district, bridge views, yet a one sentence listing with not one photo. Here’s the Streetview:
This house is so guilty it’s hiding behind the shrubbery. Look, it’s even hiding from the eye in the sky using another tree! Maybe there’s a courtroom sketch because you’re going to have to come downtown and bail it out.
Did they not draw the inside of the house because the seller doesn’t feel like cleaning up? Is this house the serf hut for the bigger dark brown house on its right? Is Burbed going to lose all credibility featuring a house in the East Bay?
Here’s another East San Jose treasure thanks to Burbed reader Tracy! Sure it’s an overpriced crapbox waiting to pull anyone who grabs it deep underwater. Yes, there’s some amusing mistakes in the listing copy. But it’s so much more than that!
BEDS: 4 BATHS: 2 SQ. FT.: 1,786 $/SQ. FT.: $223 LOT SIZE: 10,450 Sq. Ft. PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family STYLE: Traditional STORIES: 2 YEAR BUILT: 1974 COMMUNITY: Alum Rock COUNTY: Santa Clara MLS#: 81138824 SOURCE: MLSListings STATUS: Active ON REDFIN: 6 days
Fantastic opportuniy to make this house your dream home! Private balcony off master bedroom. HUGE bonus room opens to the ovesized deck with views of San Jose – great for entertaining. The sloped lot is tiered and waiting for your choice of landscaping! Mature trees provide a sense of privacy, yet your just minutes away from Shopping, dining, schools & freeways. So much space for so little money.
Here’s what Tracy had to say about this property:
I enjoyed the POV of the agent, focused on the bottom ¾ of the house. Also the great artistic Cypress tree shot. The wood floors do look amazing…The rest, not so much!
Whoa, does this agent have a sixty pound lens on that camera or something? This is indeed a very bottom-heavy view of a property.
Let’s have a look at some more of the pictures. Sometimes taking a new perspective brings out the hidden qualities of a place.
This agent is a clearly misunderstood artist, the inverse of Edgar Martins. None of these images was manipulated, because none of them needed to be. They made their statement without any extra help.
And that statement is: If you want to buy this house, then watch your step carefully. Very, very carefully.
Howdy, Guest Editor sonarrat here for a record-breaking second listing in the same month! Well, I grew up in the South County area, and I still have a soft spot for that sleepy, oft-forgotten area between the IBM exit on Bailey Ave and the shortcut to I-5. As I drive on the gently winding road through the dead, lifeless and empty Coyote Valley or take the even less scenic route along the deserted Monterey Highway by the town of Coyote (pop. 121), I can’t help but feel like I’m coming home. It’s that warm and fuzzy feeling that you can’t explain, especially to anyone who grew up anywhere else. If you’re coming to shop, though, like a lot of people, you want to keep going past the Harley-Davidson dealership in Morgan Hill and make a beeline for sunny Gilroy, the self-proclaimed “Garlic Capitol of the World.”
SQ. FT.: 1,957
$/SQ. FT.: $141
LOT SIZE: 10,000 square feet
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
YEAR BUILT: 1920
COMMUNITY: Morgan Hill/San Martin/Gilroy
COUNTY: Santa Clara
ON REDFIN: 126 days
Short Sale AS-IS Zoned R3!! Plans approved for a Duplex. LARGE LOT 10,000 SQ!! Developers Dream Large Lot and Lots of Potential!! Converted Garage!! DO NOT DISTURB TENANTS!!! POTENTIAL!!! LARGE LOT 10K Plans for two homes. LOT HAS R-3 ZONING!!! SHORT SALE Will need approval from Lender on SHORT SALE AS-IS ZONING R3 R3 R3 R3 Please DO NOT DISTURB OCCUPANTS!!! Lots of POTENTIAL!!!!!!!
OMFG!!!!! So, um, what we have here is clearly a very excitable realtor. But the listing bears closer inspection. After all, during your interminable drive down here, you will see a sign that reminds you of why you made the trek.
Yes sir, you drive a little and save a lot in Gilroy. That’s why, for the price of this lovely updated condo in a convenient San Jose neighborhood with high-rated schools, you can have a scraper in a blighted neighborhood, the main selling point of which is that you have the possibility of casting it off the face of the Earth and starting over again from scratch. Not, mind you, that anyone is questioning the value in Gilroy. This is a lot of house for the money, and a lot of flat usable land, too. And as an added bonus, you get to hear the same train tracks Steve Jobs does – the Caltrain station is just a few short blocks away! Not to mention a number of cafes where you can get your daily coffee or 15. In a subtle attempt to emphasize how much house you’re getting, the realtor included 9 vibrant photographs. Let’s have a look:
That’s what I call value for your money. One exposure, nine reasons why you should call Gilroy home! But wait – there must be some reason why the realtor is so amped up that his finger twitched nine times on the “post” button and forgot entirely to mention this is actually a legal duplex, address 345-355 W 8th St. People just don’t get this excited normally. Oh, what’s this?
The fastest flip in the West has competition! Or else the realtor’s head exploded and no one has bothered to remove the listing. Either way, you win at 345 W 8th St in Gilroy! Drive a little, save a lot!
The posts on this weblog are provided "AS IS" with no warranties, and confer no rights. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and only represent the view of Burbed.com's editor. Comments are the views of commenters, not Burbed. If companies, properties, etc are mentioned on this blog, you should assume that I have a financial stake in them. Trust no one.