Staged for sale: Garage converted into a large well
Here’s a great find in a decent part of Sunnyvale, which is like the quality line of Velveeta products, or the Premium label at JC Penney. You know it’s not that terrific, but it’s better than what the typical shopper buying that brand is going to get.
1090 BUTTE Ct, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$903,000
BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,380
$/SQ. FT.: $654
LOT SIZE: 7,752 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1957
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81134393
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 23 daysStaged for sale. Court location, just off of 85 freeway. Fresh interior paint. New flooring and crown molding accent. Great year around patio room, makes for great office. Garage converted into a large well finished multi-purpose room and separate laundry. Updated kitchen. Detached workshop taken as is. Large landscaped yard.
Maybe this listing needs to be translated from Realtardese back to English.
Staged for sale – As opposed to staged for impressing the neighbors
Court location – See you in bankruptcy court
just off of 85 freeway – This is completely 100% true! If the house were any closer you could use that solar-powered call box!
Fresh interior paint – To cover up all the blood, phlegm and tobacco stains on the walls
New flooring – Above dripped onto the old flooring
and crown molding accent – Owners need dental work AND elocution lessons
Great year around patio room – 1957 was the bee’s knees!
makes for great office – Since every year after then was a pretty ordinary one
Garage converted into a large well – It was pretty easy, we didn’t repair the roof and let the water collect
finished multi-purpose room – You can eat AND watch TV!
and separate laundry – Get to work! Darks here, lights here, bright colors in this basket. Don’t put your clothes drying rack in the garage, we converted it into a well.
Updated kitchen – Premium Formica with Naugahyde stools in harvest gold and avocado green!
Detached workshop taken as is – Leaving you with none of it
Large – compared to lots in South Palo Alto
landscaped yard – We didn’t rip the lawn out yet.
Oh, oh. You know what they didn’t say? There’s no mention of those amazing CUPERTINO SCHOOLS. Gasp! Is this seller not aware that this house has CUPERTINO SCHOOLS? And the Realtard didn’t mention it either? Maybe none of them know! Hurry! Buy this house before they figure it out and mark the price up to $1,088,888!
September 2nd, 2011 at 8:59 am
They obviously don’t know about the schools otherwise they would have posted a picture of the school!
September 2nd, 2011 at 9:46 am
This is a prime example of something called out in the current Bay Area Redfin forum thread about useless real estate phrases. The phrase “updated kitchen” is so abused these days. What about that wallpaper (or even having wallpaper in your kitchen) is updated?
Updated from when, I suppose, is the question here…perhaps you get to define the year, and in this case updated means “running water.”
September 2nd, 2011 at 10:04 am
I think that park is the one that’s near Palm Pilot’s HQ. Yeah I know, they haven’t used the term Palm Pilot since about 1997, but no one knows what you’re talking about if you just say Palm. Kinda nice, if sterile, area with as this shows, lots of hidden squalor.
Speaking of squalor, that’s a pretty cool homeless encampment in this area too. There’s a big post office at Maude and Mary, and if you go further West on Maude, and look around in those empty tech areas, there’s a big encampment with RVs and stuff on a huge empty lot, that’s very green and surrounded by trees, really the most beautiful Hooverville I’ve seen. When your kid is done with his/her Cupertino schoolday, maybe they can hang out there and learn the banjo. Or how to make Pruno.
BTW HTF (2nd one stands for how the f…) does this place have Cupertino schools? I’m pretty sure there are several crappy Sunnyvale and Mountain View schools between this place and Cupertino.
Great write up on this 900% overpriced POS.
September 2nd, 2011 at 10:08 am
How does 1970s tile with brown (!) grout say updated?
The sellers will make a butt-load of money on this house. Couldn’t they find a realtard with a flash on his camera?
September 2nd, 2011 at 10:10 am
Gilroy Alex, this house is south of Fremont Ave.
September 2nd, 2011 at 10:16 am
What do you expect for $654 per square foot?
September 2nd, 2011 at 11:40 am
not one butt joke for Butte Court? burbed is slipping.
September 2nd, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Question – Do you actually celebrate after buying a POS for this much money? Like going out to a nice restaurant and proposing a toast to your own stupidity?
September 2nd, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Hey *, I can’t use all the jokes myself, I have to leave some for the commenters or there’s nothing to say!
But now that you’ve opened the door, this place is Butte-ugly.
September 2nd, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Oh, absolutely, celebrate good times.
Just don’t wake up; otherwise you’ll realize that your undies were removed.
September 2nd, 2011 at 1:35 pm
“Now you can afford Gunn High School for your teenagers and Palo Alto Unified for your smaller children! This home is much less to own than it costs to rent in Palo Alto School District! Move in and make it your own.”
You decide if it’s affordable.
September 2nd, 2011 at 3:39 pm
#5 – Oops! For some reason I thought it was …. where I said it was. My bad!
Yeah I guess that does edge into Cupertino schools?
It’s … SuburboMallOpolis!
September 2nd, 2011 at 4:06 pm
#7, I should have written the sellers will make a butte-load of money on this house in #4. Heh.
September 2nd, 2011 at 8:31 pm
The butthead who buys this butt-ugly house deserves to get his butt reamed.
November 7th, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Price reduced to $868,888 on October 14th, plus added this to end of listing:
All those 8s but no mention of those FABULOUS CUPERTINO SCHOOLS.
November 7th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
The RF agent handed down the dreaded words: “converted garage.” What a butte-ass ugly house (inside).