October 25, 2011

A Tour de Force? This is at least a Tour de Sixce

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Overheard in San Carlos for this find nowhere near San Carlos.  Even though this was sent in a couple of months ago, it’s still on the market.  If you read Saturday’s piece on Astonishing Homes, that fact won’t astonish you in the least.

If you’re asking yourself why it took a couple of months to run this listing, then you’ll realize there are many great submissions to choose from.  At some point we many need to start running houses on weekends, which would be a terrible shame.  That would mean no more zip code articles, ever again, and they were such a reader favorite!

So, on to today’s featured home in Los Altos Hills!

 

11580 OLD RANCH Rd, Los Altos Hills, CA 94024
$6,850,000

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BEDS: 4
BATHS: 5
SQ. FT.: 7,825
$/SQ. FT.: $875
LOT SIZE: 1 Acre
PROPERTY TYPE: Attached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Green Belt, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2010
COMMUNITY: Los Altos Hills
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81134148
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 79 days

Serenity, Privacy, Seclusion. This Komo Construction Contemporary masterpiece provides an incredibly spacious floor plan of approx. 7,825 sq. ft. plus approx. 1024 sq. ft. bonus room, up to 25 ft. soaring ceilings. The lush resort style backyard, complete with infinity pool and relaxing spa, is perfect for entertaining and quiet enjoyment.

Masterpiece, spacious floor plan, soaring ceilings, lush resort, perfect for entertaining, quiet enjoyment. That’s about five too many real estate clichés for one listing, and we haven’t even gotten to the title they’ve given the virtual tour: “A Tour de Force of Contemporary Design.”

I hope you know what “Contemporary Design” means.  That’s right.  NO MAWBUL KAWLUMS.  It also means “This place is perfect for Unhappy Hipsters captions.”  Here’s a couple of my suggestions.

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The captive dwarf cypress glared at the locked cell door while the bench covers continued their mockery.

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The fern reported every door barred on the second floor, while the electrified fence prevented a leap to the possibility of freedom below.

Many more pictures await you, so have at it!  Meanwhile, watch the seller try to explain the asking price with that ZEstimate of $2.4 million.  Then it’s a Tour de Twoce.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

7 Responses to “A Tour de Force? This is at least a Tour de Sixce”

  1. nomadic Says:

    The Zestimate is probably based on the house that was here before this giant one (7800sf plus 1000sf bonus room). The public facts on Redfin show a 6,133 two story house with 5BR/5BA.

  2. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    More like Sad Trekkie.

  3. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    2.4 million would be a not bad price to… whaaaaa? 6.9 million? <shits bricks/>

  4. Real Alex Says:

    As usual. Expensive house = poorly done HDR. Is that hard to find photographers with decent Photoshop skills these days?

  5. Divasm Says:

    Yes, the Zestimate appears to be for a different house…apparently when you remove a bedroom in Los Altos Hills, you can charge 3x as much for property. What did they replace it with, a gold vault?

  6. madhaus Says:

    Wait the Zestimate is supposed to be 15.0% less than the last asking price!

  7. Petsmart groomer Says:

    dwarf cypress? fern?

    Really?? You must be a city person…


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