January 11, 2012

Do not go direct to San Mateo

imageOne of the interesting things about reading so many real estate listings is noticing just how few agents have a decent command of the English language.  When the market was red-hot back in the mid-oughties, listing copy was slapdash because the homes, RBA or not, essentially sold themselves.  And now that market action is found at the very high and very low ends, nothing says low-end like a listing that doesn’t even try to scan.

Today’s housing horror, from Burbed reader MS, is a good example of this.  The copy sounds like a Monopoly instruction.  The only question is whether this property is in the Dark Purples (now Browns) or the Light Blues, because it sure as heck isn’t Boardwalk.


San Mateo, CA 94401


BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 1,804
$/SQ. FT.: $277
LOT SIZE: 5,610 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
COMMUNITY: North Shoreview/Dore Cavanaugh
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81148666
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 42 days

Tenant occupied. Two large dogs. Do Not Go Direct. As Is Sale, No Seller Warranty, Additions may or may not have permits

imageHere’s what MS had to say about this fantastic find:

All tenant-occupied places mean you have to call agent for appointment. . Just to get the point across about how real this short is,  these tenants have TWO LARGE DOGS that make showings even more difficult, not that you planned to! And then there’s the unpermitted additions. What are they in a 3/5.5?
How’d they add onto it, to get that configuration?
I’m stumped. I’ll go if someone goes with me.

Have a look.  It seems like they just kept moving on back.


Whoah.  Come for the “may or may not have permits” additions, stay for the high-voltage transmission lines.  And if you’re ever worried about not having enough power to run your flatscreen television collection, just tap in behind your fence.


“Bunus”: Golf course right across the street means random broken windows!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

7 Responses to “Do not go direct to San Mateo”

  1. Tracy Tea House Says:

    WOAW!! MS I am scared of that! The agents main problem was he/she did not know enough to photo-shop the high power out of the listing. BTW we put a bid in on another REO yesterday. House was a little burb worthy, but hopefully livable!

  2. PKamp3 Says:

    I know that most scientists agree living near High Tension lines isn’t dangerous – but the fact that cows generally reorient themselves parallel with the lines and artists can make pictures like these makes me wary.

    I’m happy to know that so far my “Permits Unknown” prediction is coming true! Prop 13 for the win!

  3. madhaus Says:

    Remember, there’s no point in buying Electric Company unless you also get Water Works. And the rates are about as random as a dice throw.

  4. nomadic Says:

    HELOC win: purchased in 1998 for $268k and now a short sale listed at $499k. It’s pending, so does anyone want to guess at the final selling price?

  5. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    Final on this transaction? Or final after it’s condemned by the city for too many code infractions?

  6. ms Says:

    #3, Water Works may be a possibility!
    That’s why everyone in the neighborhood pays $3,500 a year in mandated flood insurance.
    If your house is paid off, you don’t have to pay. These guys could have been there by now on a 15-year.

  7. This house blue me away [Burbed.com] Says:

    […] that house we just featured in San Mateo?  What’s a bug for a residence is a feature for a grow […]

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