January 17, 2012

White Castle Service… It Takes Just a Minute….

That was a little jingle I remember from ages ago for Ohio-based burger chain White Castle, which made the tiniest (and not particularly good) hamburgers I’ve ever seen.  I suppose today they’d be called sliders, but back then, a square-stamped piece of beef product that looked like a die’s five-spot was what you got at a White Castle.

imageWhite Castle Service, It takes just a minute
For the classy little box with the hamburger in it
For you health we never fry them, we steam them on a bun
Buy White Castles by the sack cuz nobody eats just one!

Now if you’re from White Castle territory, maybe you had some thoughts of setting up a franchise on the West Coast and vacuuming up all the nostalgia-seeking East Coasters who moved here but miss the bad food of their youth.  If you see this as a reasonable business model, here is the perfect house for you.

This home has been noticed by several Burbed readers, including Swan, Tracy, and Lucia, thanks very much for lowering the drawbridge.


Los Altos, CA 94024


SQ. FT.: 2,911
$/SQ. FT.: $566
LOT SIZE: 0.49 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: French
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
COMMUNITY: Country Club
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81138713
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 130 days

Unique 1/2 acre property nestled between the beauty of the mountains and closeness of town. Main house is a 3/2 with 2112 sq ft and Castle is a 1/1 with 800 sq ft. 4 open-space areas shared with 2 neighbors adds another 6/10th acre to main property. New carpet and paint in main house. Close to highly regarded Waldorf School.

imageThis house comes with its own fracking castle.  I mean, did you take a look at that thing?  Holy crap.

I realize the flag is a bit of an anachronism, since our royalty prefers buildings with mawbul cawlums instead of crenellations, but you can always substitute something more appropriate, such as some heraldic beastie on its hind legs, or better yet, a White Castle Burger Flag, if they made any. 

imageLucia notes:

There’s a fully functional, to code (I’m guessing) tower in the backyard. Perhaps it’s going so inexpensively because it once housed a poor adoptee/kidnapped girl who was never allowed to leave or cut her hair??

Tracy thinks it’s too bad this castle is so close to 280, but there’s more castles being catapulted into the Burbed queue via trebuchet.  Finally, here’s Swan’s observation why you should immediately buy this property.

imageThe dude is upset that he put in a pool and not a guest castle like the house below. Who needs a guest cottage, when you can have a guest castle?

Note, this is a “must buy.”

The observation deck on the castle will come in handy when those nasty invaders start scaling the walls of 280. Should the invaders storm the castle, the open space shared with the neighbors will come in handy as a battlefield.

Or you could start up the franchise in your back yard and wait for Harold and Kumar to show up.  Plus this place is a lot more defensible than your standard burger franchise, which is something to think about if you’re going to stay open until 3 in the morning.

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

10 Responses to “White Castle Service… It Takes Just a Minute….”

  1. PKamp3 Says:

    We make fun of it now, but who will have the last laugh when the Zombie Apocalypse begins? That’s right, the eventual over-bidder. Now to convince someone who grew up playing RPGs to start the bidding!

  2. gallileo Says:

    Anyone know the story behind this one? Eccentric Twitter millionaire? Larry Ellison wannabe? Millenialist who thinks she won’t get taken away in the rapture?

    There must be a good story.

  3. Divasm Says:

    Come on, no self-repecting LARPer would live in that castle…I can see by the multude of photos (seriously, more of the castle than the actual house) that there’s no moat. I mean, why have a drawbridge then? You can’t expect to successfully defend against a siege of marauding orcs with no moat, that’s Castle Defense 101.

    Although a friend of mine who lives in the fair town of LosAltosShire did complain to me about the ducks living in her swimming pool so perhaps that was a concern – I say train them as small bombers or message carriers! One cannot be overly prepared to defend the One Internet Search Engine to Rule Us All!

  4. madhaus Says:

    Maybe whoever built the castle was a fan of not Lord of the Rings but A Song of Ice and Fire, and didn’t worry at all about orcs. He or she figured the traffic on 280 would take care of the direwolves, and there’s not a heck of a lot that can neutralize dragons.

    Although if Winter is Coming, this place won’t be very Special anymore.

  5. QTP Says:

    Quite recently, a realtor knocked on a house in East Menlo Park (Seminary Dr. Area) and informed the homeowner that one of the Facebook employees would like to buy their house.

    Tighten your seat-belts, Menlo Park residents. The facebook IPO is approaching. This is going to be a wile ride.

  6. SEA Says:

    #5- I’m sure that one Facebook employee was seeking to buy the lowest quality house for the highest possible price.

  7. SiO2 Says:

    White Castle is nasty.
    on the other side – DreamT thanks for the restaurant recommendation the other day. It must be better than White Castle!

  8. A Beach House for Fantasy Fans [Burbed.com] Says:

    […] that would make a great West Coast toehold for the White Castle burger chain.  Yes, it was an actual fracking CASTLE in the back of an otherwise normal home in Los Altos. Burbed reader Tracy is crazy for castles, and […]

  9. Chrissie Says:

    I am a little concerned about the King of the Castle in the virtual tour. Is the cat being help captive in the castle?

  10. nomadic Says:

    Price cut to $1.578M a week after being featured on burbed, and now pending!

Leave a Reply

Please be nice. No name calling, no personal attacks, no racist stuff, no baiting, etc. Let's be nice to each other in the true Bay Area spirit! (Comments may be edited/removed without notice.)