February 10, 2012

property is in poor condition and needs a lot of repairs

Here’s a winner of a house in the Berryessa district of San Jose, also known as “I can’t believe it’s not Milpitas!” Today’s listing is courtesy of Burbed reader bmwman91.  Thanks very much!

3318 ONSLOW Way
San Jose, CA 95132


SQ. FT.: 1,645
$/SQ. FT.: $277
LOT SIZE: 6,534 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
COMMUNITY: Berryessa
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81151168
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 43 days

Cash only!!! property is in poor condition and needs a lot of repairs. Spacious 4 bed 2.5 bath home located in a nice neighborhood. Spacious and open floorplan with good size rooms throughout. 2 car garage with ample storage space. Bank owned property !! As-is sale . Min disclosures.

120208-onslow-kitchenHere’s why bmwman91 thought this house was Burbed-worthy:

At least they tell you that the property is in bad shape. For a paltry sum of not a lot of money less than half a million dollars, you really shouldn’t expect to get something livable in a sort of shitty part of the bay area.

No, no, no, not a lot of money IS half a million dollars.  Mitt Romney said so.  If you want something livable, you have to spend like you’re part of the one percent,  That’s an income of $386,000, which means you could afford a $1,958,000 house, if you did a little bit of creative financing.  And if you want to buy in the Real Bay Area, that’s a given.

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

13 Responses to “property is in poor condition and needs a lot of repairs”

  1. Mole Man Says:

    Remodel all you want. That smell will always linger.

  2. Tracy Tea House Says:

    Wow what’s the name of that yellow paint color? Straight up yellow coming at you!

  3. A. Lewis Says:

    That microwave oven they left you is total instant equity. Prolly trade that for like 4 vials of crack!

    I’d also totally squat here if I needed a place to shoot up. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (wait…)

  4. AstroWallaby Says:

    Oh, great. I really didn’t want to know that the presumptive Republican nominee for the presidency is Real Estater(tm), of all people. Next thing you know we’ll find out Obama’s been spending the last three years doing nothing other than posting trolling comments on Youtube videos featuring My Little Pony characters.

  5. cardinal2007 Says:

    It is pending already, I so wanted to move up to Berryessa, and the price is only a small stretch on my budget. Who needs an oven anyway, I can make dinner on the microwave alone, and drywall in a bathroom is a luxury these days anyway.

    Oh well, it was cash only anyway, I don’t have $460k in the bank. :/

  6. Dr. Chorillo Says:

    That color of yellow is called “STARING AT THE SUN.”

  7. SV Shopper Says:

    Maybe I should start looking at San Jose, at least there is inventory, and I would be top of the food chain. No repair would be tolerated! I would have to send kids to private school to avoid the gangsters. I guess private school will be full of priced out folks like us!

  8. nomadic Says:

    I’d call that yellow “French’s mustard.”

  9. nomadic Says:

    SV Shopper, you ought to change your name to “Priced Out Forever.”

  10. Sunny(vale) Kim Says:

    I thought SV Shopper moved from “Manhatten” six years back, joined Facebook and is going to be “newly minted millionaire” very soon. Bad luck, SV Shopper.

  11. SV Shopper Says:

    I never said who I work for.

  12. madhaus Says:

    Are you sure, #11?

  13. The Richest Cities Where No One Wants to Move [Burbed.com] Says:

    […] at this kitchen.  Now this is the kind of Specialness you can only get in San Jose for half a million […]

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