February 29, 2012

The property is dangerous holes in floors debris all over

Today’s fun find is a Cambrian cutie from Burbed reader yaknuts.  If you’ve been wanting something in the suburbs, but enjoy a sense of excitement and unpredictability, this may be the house for you!  Come and talk a walk on the wild side of the Cambrian!

3682 May Ln
San Jose, CA 95124
$439,900

120227-may-redfin

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,234
$/SQ. FT.: $356
LOT SIZE: 7,519 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1959
COMMUNITY: Cambrian
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81204098
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 25 days

This is a CASH AS-IS SALE ONLY. contractor exp investor Special. THERE IS NOT A KITCHEN SO FINANCING IS NOT POSSIBLE. Aproximatly 500 foot of unpermitted additional space. Garage has been converted to living space. The property is dangerous holes in floors debris all over, dog waste all over back yard. Old garage converted to living space. Cooking done in microwave and outdoor bbq grill.

Here’s why yaknuts thought this home was Burbed-worthy:

120227-may-bbqI have been a long time reader of your blog. I came across this listing the other day (already taken down from Redfin).

Check out all the junk in these pictures and the description: "the property [has] dangerous hols in floors," "dog waste all over back yard," or "cooking done in microwave and outdoor 120227-may-patiobbq grill." It went pending on 2/5/12 for $439K. I don’t have time to do a full write up at this time, but I had to bring this to your attention. I hope to see a feature on this property soon — you should have plenty of material in this listing. Cheers!

This is one of those features that just writes itself.  After all, a picture is worth a thousand words, so we can save 7,000 of them.  Redfin could take these pictures down again any minute!

120227-may-kitchen

120227-may-tv 120227-may-diningroom120227-may-couch120227-may-sink

This must be one of those listings where the agent made a drunken bet with the broker.  In this case I’d venture they bet over whether incoherent photography sells houses faster.  That should explain why some of the rooms look almost staged, while others suggest they refused to spend 10 minutes picking up.

And since this poo palace went pending the very next day, congrats to the winner of that bet!  It clearly worked! 

Although we know who the real winner was when it came to this house: the geniuses who sold it in 2007 for $620K.

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:32 am

14 Responses to “The property is dangerous holes in floors debris all over”

  1. very amused Says:

    The WOW! factor is strong in this one.

  2. SEA Says:

    One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

  3. AstroWallaby Says:

    This realtor sucks at their job.

    “The property is dangerous holes in floors debris all over”

    should read:

    “Unique floor plan with partially sunken living areas and open storage!”

    More examples:

    “Aproximatly 500 foot of unpermitted additional space. Garage has been converted to living space” = “Refinished basement and garage, potential mother-in-law or rental unit! (check with city)”

    “Cooking done in microwave and outdoor bbq grill.” = “Al Fresco-style dining area, perfect for entertaining!”

    “dog waste all over back yard” = “Fertile landscape is ready for your finishing touches!”

    “Aproximatly 500 foot of unpermitted additional space” = “Much untapped potential!”

    Sure, it sold after one day anyway, but they could of gotten so much more with just the tiniest little bit of effort. Sheesh.

  4. Dr. Chorillo Says:

    Versatile kitchen design is a blank canvas just waiting for you to bring your creative touch! Roomy garage conversion not included in SqF — property feels even bigger than stated! Existing interior design choices offer easy access to foundation for possible expansion. Don’t miss the upgraded microwave and top-of-the-line gas BBQ grill — included in the sale!

    DO NOT DISTURB OCCUPANTS!

  5. nomadic Says:

    Redfin is down at the moment and redirecting people to their Twitter feed for info. I have to admire their devil-may-care attitude with this one:

    Are you superstitious? According to this leap year myth, it’s bad luck to build or buy a home in a leap year: http://bit.ly/A634VC

  6. Crissa Says:

    I think it’s ironic that financing is actually available – banks don’t generally care about the condition of the house just your pocketbook – and yet sellers are willing to push away perfectly good buyers to sell cash only. There’s no difference on their end, anyhow: they still get cut a check.

    Makes me think we ought to change what sort of terms sellers can require and do away with a few. The house we bought barely had a kitchen and we still got FHA – they didn’t ask if the kitchen was in good repair. Which it wasn’t; I had to replumb the sink, add a stove vent and dishwasher, and repair the gas line to the stove. Sure, the stove and refrigerator worked, but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t pick up for a couple hundred dollars.

  7. PKamp3 Says:

    Can we have a “Bay Area Hoarder Week”? I submit the obvious final house, from this ABC article.

  8. nomadic Says:

    Crissa, sellers prefer cash buyers because no appraisal is necessary, and sometimes the buyer’s status changes (e.g., loss of job) and they can’t get financing in spite of pre-approval.

    It’s the same reason an offer with no contingencies is preferred over one that can allow the buyer to back out.

  9. The Gilroy Alex Says:

    Looks like the typical San Jose/Santa Clara druggie nest. How this happens is, someone who grew up working for their living in the 1950s/1960s buys a house for half a year’s income. Their kids are born in the 1970s or 1980s and never work for a living. Ever. Instead they deal drugs, steal stuff and fence it, and live off of their parents. The parents die in their 60s, maybe make it to 70, and the house is left to the druggie kids. Who then invite in more druggies. Good times ensue until the eviction. Now the house, even trashed, is “worth” 10 years’ income.

  10. Crissa Says:

    I know why sellers do it, but that doesn’t mean I’m cool with it.

    I don’t get the random pictures, but it looks like a failed reno to me.

    Who’d offer what they’re asking when it’s like 10% over average in the area for non-trashed houses?

  11. SEA Says:

    “I know why sellers do it, but that doesn’t mean I’m cool with it.”

    You would turn down a cash offer?

  12. nomadic Says:

    There’s no difference on their end, anyhow: they still get cut a check.

    Yet there is a difference.

    What I don’t get is why buyers think writing a letter to the seller would make a difference. Remember those days?

  13. Michael Boltonestater Says:

    Remember those days?

    I miss those days. Is there any website that shows such letters?

  14. Chuck Says:

    Flipper magic, resold within 6 months for 300K more: http://www.movoto.com/real-estate/homes-for-sale/CA/San-Jose/3682-May-Ln-100_81238213.htm


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