March 28, 2012

* * * NO MORE OFFERS PLEASE !!! * * *

120324-sf-sold-redfinHave you heard?  The housing market is hot, hot, hot!  So many finds have that red PENDING banner smacked across the first picture because there’s so little inventory available (see chart).  That means even a Burbed-worthy home may get more love from overbidders than from, well, Burbed.  You would not believe how many homes that belong on the front page are snapped up and have their listings wiped clean off Redfin before we can even get the IP wrapper off our email.

But that’s great news for you, Burbed readers!  If the market is this hot, that means more and more crapboxes will be listed with no attempt to put any lipstick on those pigs.  And that means we are assured there’ll be plenty of prime content!  Like today’s OMG THAT’S PENDING WTF? listing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  Thanks very much for this listing that left many parts in San Francisco.

1261 Sanchez St
San Francisco, CA 94114


SQ. FT.: 885
$/SQ. FT.: $734
LOT SIZE: 1,999 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Cottage
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 40558309
STATUS: Pending Court Confirmation
ON REDFIN: 66 days

* * * NO MORE OFFERS PLEASE !!! * * * Cute home with full garage/workshop. Backyard and patio. Loads of potential !!! Fixer, reflected in price. ..

120324-sanchez-porchHere’s a perfect example of a house that doesn’t need any effort by a listing agent.  It’s in Noe Valley, so just let the new buyer deal with any deferred maintenance.  What do you want, this place was standing when The Big One hit in 1906 and it’s still here!

This home requires Court Confirmation to sell, so buying it will require some legal advice as well.  And that’s not the realtard’s problem.  You want this house?  You should have been overbidding in January.

Now, a small amount of cleanup might be required.  Take a good look at these pictures, because the agent couldn’t even be bothered to move the smallest little distractions out of the framing.  What is up with all those bottles in the kitchen?  It doesn’t matter.  This market is HOT!

So, see if you can come up with a good story for each of these items.


The rest of the photos are to assure you of Burbed’s Good Housekeeping “Tag of Approval.”  Some of you Negative Nellies might object that the living room and bedroom do not demonstrate good housekeeping at all.  But, ah, the garage!


Comments (28) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

28 Responses to “* * * NO MORE OFFERS PLEASE !!! * * *”

  1. Dr. Chorillo Says:

    Needs the “trash bin” tag. Also needs a “buckets” tag. Buyer will recover about half the purchase price in recyclable materials left in home.

  2. magdalena Says:

    Seriously! How hard it is to put on some rubber gloves, pick up some trash bags and spend a few hours?

    Obviously the *Realtor* didn’t think it was worth it and the buyer thought they were getting a deal. It’s like seeing two ugly obese people with personality problems who find each other and get married – and you wonder “Why am I single”? It’s because you have STANDARDS!

  3. PKamp3 Says:

    Picture #1: Maybe the story is that the shower portion doesn’t work, so you fill the bucket from the tub spout and pour it over your head for a shower?

  4. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    This house is a dump in a great neighborhood. I used to live five blocks from there, and if I was trying to buy a house in San Fran, that’s exactly the location I would look. Of course, an 800 sq foot 2/1 is not exactly a great house to buy, but it’s NOE VALLEY! Overbidding will bring the house up to retarded levels in no time!

    Also, wtf is up with the realtard listing it as detached? Like, detached from any standards of cleanliness? The only thing that would be better is if the listing had “Do not disturb tenants” in it.

  5. nomadic Says:

    Bottles of water in the kitchen – the plumbing doesn’t work.

    Buckets in the bathtub – er, the plumbing doesn’t work and it stinks in there.

  6. gallileo Says:

    No need to buy draino for this house–just pour all those unnamed chemicals in the garage down the drain–that will clean it right out.

    Add a couple of lightbulbs and you’re done.

    No problem.

  7. Petsmart groomer Says:

    Is that an Abercrombie & *itch paper bag on picture #7?

  8. Dr. Chorillo Says:

    This tenant has plenty of disposable income to spend at the mall since they’re not spending it on luxuries like water and electricity.

  9. madhaus Says:

    sfbb, detached housing in San Francisco is not the same as it is in surrounding suburbs. I really have no idea how it’s defined, but I think it is a legal, rather than a physical designation. The whole idea behind the name “townhouse” means they’re chockablock against each other, like the houses in “town.”

    So the question is, are there any such things as suburban-style “townhouses” in SF, where they were built as part of a six-pack, say, and there’s things like HOA dues to cover the common roof?

    This is reminding me of the first time I saw a new townhouse complex in the early 1980s, in the Raleigh-Durham (NC) area. This wasn’t just the suburbs, it was the exurbs. Lots of empty land everywhere. And then this brand new complex, with six sixplexes slammed down amidst all that nice vacant green land and trees. I actually started laughing at them. Who the heck wanted to commute more than 20 miles to the city yet share common walls when the land was so damned cheap? Yet people obviously had bought them. I guess I was old-fashioned in my housing preferences; exurbs were for single-family homes.

    I’m sure this area today would be an inner ring city of RTP.

  10. nomadic Says:

    I think a house can be “detached” in the city if the houses on each side could be torn down without the subject house being affected structurally. Sometimes there is actually a few inches of air space between them.

  11. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    #9 and #10: Then that means you can slap up a 4 story victorian worth seventy billion dollars!! QUICK! GET THE OVERBIDDING GOING!

  12. sprezzatura Says:

    Unbelievable. Go 20 miles down 101 and for that kind of $$ you can get twice the space and in much better conditions too. Example:

  13. Michael Boltonestater Says:

    sprezzatura, your example comes with $760 HOA fees. But I get your point, I really do.

  14. sprezzatura Says:

    Whoops, that’s what I get for not reading the whole listing. But still…. who would buy a dump like that when you can do so much better?

  15. nomadic Says:

    Someone who wants to live in SF? Why buy in PA when you can have five houses in EPA? 😉

  16. SEA Says:

    “Why buy in PA when you can have five houses in EPA?”


  17. Great potential in Saratoga [] Says:

    […] the house we featured yesterday, the “fixer” in San Francisco?  Yes, it was in hot, hot, HOT Noe Valley, so of course all […]

  18. Real Estater Says:

    IMHO, SF is generally an old, deteriorating city, held up in places by high prices. The city has limited attractions, limited night life, parking problems, traffic, and inconveniences all over the place. The weather is not particularly great either, with half the day either hazy or foggy. When I go there for any period of time I always feel like leaving. If you have kids, that’s the last place you want to live. Real estate prices are not justified as it is on the peninsula. A lot of people who go for SF are from out of town, who read about it in books and movies. In time they will learn the reality and migrate either south or north. That’s one reason prices on the peninsula and Marin will always hold solid.

  19. Michael Boltonestater Says:

    I see Real Estater is learning about sarcasm.

  20. madhaus Says:

    That paean to San Francisco in #18 reads as if it were written by Macon Leary.

  21. SEA Says:

    Yea, who wants all the inconveniences of a first world city?

    I might be movin’ to Montana soon.

  22. nomadic Says:

    #18, written like a stodgy Midwestern parent. Congratulations on the assimilation.

  23. Real Estater Says:

    Don’t get me wrong. SF is not without its value. It’s a store front that attracts many people to come to the Bay Area in the first place. It provides perpetual demographic in-flow, which is the key factor for real estate appreciation. SF is where people come for; the area to the south is where people end up staying.

  24. SiO2 Says:

    #20 Madhaus, awesome.

  25. madhaus Says:

    A shorter #23: The roaches check in, but they don’t check out of the RBA.

  26. Michael Boltonestater Says:

    There’s a reason Hotel California is in Palo Alto.

  27. sprezzatura Says:

    Real Estater is cranky but he’s not wrong. Loads of geeks move out to SF for the jobs, then 10+ years later find themselves with 2 kids in a 3/2 somewhere in 650-land.

  28. steve Says:

    Hotel California’s in SF:

    But I don’t think it’s the one from the song.

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