March 30, 2012

A Riddle Tweeted in a Mystery inside an Enigma

Somewhere in the Great Temporary Handover of This Site, there was a Twitter account with our name on it.  Unfortunately, it must have fallen between the couch cushions when we were rearranging the boxes of light bulbs and Drano.  That’s too bad, because Burbed reader Swan has found the perfect house  for those who need to make every letter count.

Please welcome Swan to the front page as today’s guest blogger with this compelling Campbell/San Jose casa!

3226 RIDDLE Rd
San Jose, CA 95117
$568,888

120329-riddle-redfin

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,646
$/SQ. FT.: $344
LOT SIZE: 7,956 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1948
COMMUNITY: Campbell
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81205068
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 49 days

Gorgus inside:Brit/chesfl!tstflly remdle/update in modern style * Kit w/ track li, doubl-sink, grden windo . . * Huge clasy hal ba w/ jet tub, sep stal shower, dubl-sink, sky li . .. * Lrg Ms BR w/ slid dr to nuly lanscap B-yd * Nu fenc in Mar. * Wk-In Clset * Shor * 2-pane windos * Butifl wod fl * Tiled bath/kit/dining fl * nuer stov/roof/heater/drway . . * Recnt int/ext/paint. .. much mor * Convnt loc nr Santana Row/ W-field *

120329-riddle-backyard

Oh my…I realize we are fast paced society who wants everything in Tweets of 140 characters or less.  But this realtard takes abbreviations to a whole new level. 

I teach elementary school and have seen some odd spelling skills in my time, but some of these I 120329-riddle-kitchencan’t even decipher.  For example, "chesfl!tstflly."  What is that?

Gud thng the hous is on Ridl Rd, bc the rite up is a ridl.  Bunus:  8s in the pris. .. . & nr santa rw!

Njoy!


Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

9 Responses to “A Riddle Tweeted in a Mystery inside an Enigma”

  1. SEA Says:

    “BILINGUAL
    I speak fluent English and several dialects of Chinese. My bilingual ability allows me to communicate more effectively with people from different ethnic backgrounds.” source:julielow.com

    Given this listing, I’m just not sure who she is communicating with.

  2. sfbubblebuyer Says:

    I would slap my realtor if they put that crap of a job up on my house.

  3. AstroWallaby Says:

    I would think if the “Gorgus” were actually inside the place would at least have a few stone statues in the yard. (Maybe a nice fountain of an open house lookieloo terrifyingly peeing through his pants into a giant clamshell?)

    Perhaps this particular Gorgans’ only power is the ability to stare balefully at the English language and instantly cause words and sentences to fracture into mind-shattering gibberish capable of driving anyone intrepid or foolish enough to read her real estate ads insane. Slay her and by holding her severed head aloft you’ll wield the power to instantly and permanently transform William F. Buckley into an average Myspace user with a single glance.

  4. madhaus Says:

    U do NOT wnt 2 knw hw mny tms I hd 2 ht “Ignr Splng” wn pblshng ths pc f crp.

  5. SEA Says:

    F U N E X?
    S V F X
    F U N E M?
    S V F M
    O K M N X!

  6. SEA Says:

    Translation:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-mX9T2qyIQ

  7. Scott Says:

    Holy Riddler, Batman!

    Perhaps the realtard needs to wear a Riddler costume and hire someone to pose with a goofy grin in this listing.

  8. Tom Stone Says:

    I was recently invited to “Share a piece of mind with the newer roof and water heater”. I don’t have enough to share and luckily the house did not insist when I looked at it. 7925 Juanita Ct, Sebastopol ca 95472.

  9. JSims Says:

    Sounds like we need to break out the Enigma machine to decipher this realtard’s code.


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