As regular readers of this site already know, homes in the Real Bay Area don’t need to convince buyers of their value.  No matter how inept the Realtard representing it, even a turkey of a home within RBA limits will go pending quickly.

This isn’t the case for homes far, far away from the RBA. Thanks to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for this example of how to sell a house that has the misfortune of not being anywhere near Google or Facebook.

1501 GUTHRIE Dr
INVERNESS, IL 60010
$1,149,000 (Reduced from $1,490,000)

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 5
SQ. FT.: 6,757
$/SQ. FT.: $170
HOA DUES: $17/month
LOT SIZE: 1.03 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family, 2 Stories
STYLE: Traditional
EXPOSURE: East, West
YEAR BUILT: 2001
COMMUNITY: Inverness
COUNTY: Cook
MLS#: 08047047
SOURCE: MRED
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 46 days

Wide open floor plan with granite, stainless, and maple kitchen w/ viking range and commercial hood. Hardwood floors throughout much of the home. !st flr. Theater, office, and sun room! Dining room is perfect for large dinner parties. All bedrooms with private baths and walk-in’s. luxurious master suite with sitting room, and high end master bath with vaulted ceilings, cherry cabinets, and marble. Huge deck.

What can you do if you own a ginormous housing tumor in flyover country and no longer wish to have it sap your precious bodily fluids?  You list it for sale and more than 30 days go by, which means, according to Jim the Realtor, that the price is more than 10% too high.  In this case, probably way more than 10%, as you’ve already cut it 23% without any takers.  It could mean that nobody wants your expensive mistake.

Clearly, more drastic marketing measures are needed.  Have a look at them by clicking on through.

Quick Facts:

List Price: $1,149,000 (Reduced from $1,490,000 in 2011)

New 2012 Tesla Model S Electric Car Included

Size: 6,757 sq. ft. on 1+ acre lot
Built: 2001

I got it.  Houses are hard to sell these days.  That’s why I reduced the price by $350,000, and I’m including a brand new 2012 Tesla Model S electric car.  As you may know, there is a waiting list of over 6,000 on this car.  My reservation is #300+, so you will get the car quick.  All reasonable offers are considered.  Don’t miss out on this great opportunity!

Obviously nobody wants to buy the house.  Look what the FB is reduced to saying on this website (domain name getafreetesla.com):

More House For Your Money

As you compare shop for your dream home, I challenge you to find a similar size and age house with this amount of amenities for the same amount of money.

Reduced $350,000

In today’s market, you need a margin of safety when making such a major purchase. This house gives you the peace of mind that you’re getting one of the best deals around.

And Yes, That FREE Tesla Model S!

This is probably the first offer in the world that includes a high-end electric car in a house purchase. Mind you this is not just any car, it’s one of the hottest cars to come out this decade. Featuring 100% electric power, maximum torque all the time, and a huge 17" iPad style control panel – you won’t want to drive anything else!

Do you get the impression that the seller is probably more upset about losing out on the car than the house?  What’s also intriguing is there isn’t a link to Tesla on this website called getafreetesla.com.  Instead there is this photo gallery that has an interesting fail in how the embedded YouTube video and the photos interact.  Even better, it fails one way in Chrome (here we want to see the car photo but the video won’t go away):

Furthermore, we hope you didn’t plan on looking at all of the photos, as once you click on two or three, you can’t access the thumbnails anymore.  They’re not only invisible once clicked, any under the existing photos are just completely inaccessible.

Contrast this with how it fails in Firefox. When we want to watch the video, the photo won’t gracefully step aside:

Of course, your mileage may vary, depending on what add-ins you’re using.  And if you use IE, you don’t deserve a Tesla.

Maybe having to give up the house AND the car is too much for this seller.  They should have bought in the RBA.  Then they could visit Tesla’s headquarters any time, and ask Elon Musk personally if they could cadge a cup of lithium ions.