August 2, 2012

A better than new home in Sunnyvale!

There are several kinds of problem listings we enjoy digging into.  There’s the traditional crapshack, which is a house that’s basically a really ugly and old box (and it needs work, too).  There’s the perfectly acceptable house with a price that would only attract buyers if it were in pesos instead of dollars.  There’s the very high end custom place that’s a dream home for the owner but quirky as all get out for anyone else.  This house also has a cousin, the high end custom home where the builder/owner went broke trying to finish it.

Today’s listing is a different kind of fail.  This is the house that got a little too foo-foo for the neighborhood, and maybe a little too cute for its own good.  Let’s see what awaits in our favorite Sunnyvale zip code.

Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,300,000; reduced from $1,399,999 on 7/27/12; reduced from $1,496,999 on 6/27/12


120801-pauline-entryBEDS:  4
BATHS:  4.5
SQ. FT.:  2,875
$/SQ. FT.:  $452
LOT SIZE:  7,032 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
VIEW: Neighborhood
COMMUNITY:  Sunnyvale
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81224214
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
120801-pauline-stairway-topON REDFIN:  35 days

Huge Price Reduction! A spectacular custom home in Sunnyvale with Cupertino Schools. Bright open floor plan with 3 master bedroom suits, custom drapery, Austrian crystal chandeliers, dual zone heating and A/C, alarm system, crown molding, and so much more! A better than new home! Cupertino Schools: Stocklmeir 956 API, Cupertino Middle 928 API. Turn key and ready for move in for an amazing price!

We have a lot more pictures waiting for you, so click on through!

120801-pauline-bedroom-2Yes, turn the key!  Walk right in and see what awaits inside this Mediterranean style custom home.  That is, if “Mediterranean style” means that the bedrooms are downstairs and the living room, dining room and kitchen are upstairs.  That will make it so much easier for your teenage children to sneak their friends into their rooms without you ever knowing!

But if you head over to the virtual tour, the description there is a little different:

120801-pauline-diningA Canadian Style Dream Home in Sunnyvale

Huge Price Reduction! Best Value in Sunnyvale with Cupertino Schools!
This elegant custom home features a dramatic entry way with double
doors, soaring ceilings in the foyer and a curved staircase that leads to gracious living areas. In addition to the master bedroom suite there are two other spacious suite bedrooms with attached baths. Many upgrades includes: crown moulding, dual zone heating and air conditioning, Bay alarm, custom drapery, and so much more.

120801-pauline-kitchen-diningSo “Canadian Style” means private rooms near the front door, public rooms up the winding stairway, and sure hope you like this carpet pattern because it’s in just about every room in the house?  Plus the kitchen ought to have special bacon and donut storage.

Speaking of the kitchen, this area at left is called the “kitchen dining” spot.  You can tell this by its breezy informal elan, as contrasted with the formal dining room above.

120801-pauline-balconyNow at this point you’re probably wondering why this house hasn’t sold at twice the price yet.  Not only is it Mediterranean/Canadian style, but there’s those world-famous Cupertino schools (note API scores featured right in the listing copy!).

Also note the agent didn’t bother mentioning the high school.  Yup.  It’s Fremont (API 765).

And speaking of Fremont, that’s also the name of the street this house is also on, which is simply fantastic.  Think of all the people whizzing by who get to admire your house!  Fremont is wide and inviting, so you’d be living on the Avenue des Champs-Élysées, Sunnyvale style!


Comments (18) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

18 Responses to “A better than new home in Sunnyvale!”

  1. SEA Says:

    How difficult is it to concentrate on housing when FB is below $20?

  2. Michael Boltonestater Says:

    Bedrooms are downstairs and the living room, dining room and kitchen are upstairs?!? Was it a popular trend back in 2007?

  3. SEA Says:

    #2- When this was built in 2007, a buyer would have written a 25 page letter to the seller telling him what a great design the place has, also describing the seller’s great taste in decor. That 25 page letter would also discuss the endless possibilities regarding the children’s education being paid with the ample “over-bidding.”

  4. herpderp Says:

    It wants for mawbul kawlums.

  5. Sunny(vale) Kim Says:

    Bedrooms are downstairs and the living room, dining room and kitchen are upstairs?!? Was it a popular trend back in 2007?

    That’s more of a Lake Tahoe cabin trend – to keep living room warmer than bedroom.

  6. mabeldu Says:

    this house would be gaudy & gauche for los altos hills, but sunnyvale? on fremont ave? come on… we’re being punked, right?

    pictures tell a story, and this is a horror story i don’t want to see anymore. but the carpet burned spots into my retinas and i can’t make it stop.

    herpderp is on a roll lately. yep – it begs for kawlums.

  7. madhaus Says:

    There are kawlums in this house, I just can’t tell exactly what kind of kawlums they are. Look at pictures 5-7 on Redfin (one is shown above); can’t figure out if those are even the same kawlums. 5 & 6 look svelte and 7 looks more filled out.

  8. nomadic Says:

    #2 and 3, no builder would have created this horrible floor plan without a sure payday at the end. The property last sold in 2006, so the owners hired the builder to do their bidding. I don’t know what they could have been thinking. Sometimes, you’d do the “upside down” layout for a view, but that clearly isn’t the case here. But what do you expect from people who put hotel carpeting throughout their house?

  9. nomadic Says:

    I’d like to nominate this mess for some sort of “best of burbed” award.

    Is the portal to hell in the odd nook/crevice next to the shower in picture 18?

  10. herpderp Says:

    Oh, sure, madhaus, there are kawlums, but they’re not MAWBLE kawlums. Pfft. Cheap imitators need not apply.

    I’d love to see the comps on this one. I bet this house sticks out like a sore thumb in that neighborhood.

  11. herpderp Says:

    Also… 7000sqft and the “formal” dining room has a four-top?

  12. SEA Says:

    SQ. FT.: 2,875

  13. Petsmart groomer Says:

    > I bet this house sticks out like a sore thumb in that neighborhood.

    I can see a few sore thumbs on Pauline Dr. What happened there?!?

  14. madhaus Says:

    I didn’t use this photo I took of Pauline, but here’s the streetview for a thumb in the eye.

  15. herpderp Says:

    Silly me – with opulence and grandeur like that I saw the lot size and thought they meant the total square footage. Of course, with most McMansions, they’re basically one and the same as you can stick your arm out your bathroom window and touch your neighbor’s house.

    I love streets like that. Quiet little houses, all in a row, and here’s the builder who just had to wave his dick around in the air YEEEHAWWWW!

  16. CB Says:

    Ha ha. “Son, go *down* to your room this very instant.”

  17. SEA Says:

    An open house this weekend: “Saturday, August 4, 2012 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM (Source: MLS) Best Value in Sunnyvale especially for a custom home. A very special opportunity to see one of the best homes in Sunnyvale. This home is AMAZING! The finest attention to details in this custom home.”

    Open house on Sunday too.


  18. Last post of 2012 [] Says:

    […] Sunnyvale Freedom is Slavery Inverse House […]

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