When a market is as hot, hot, HOT as Mountain View, it pays to look at what won’t sell.  Take a gander at this gorgeous gatehouse and let us know why you think it’s still without a prom date.

140 HORIZON Ave
Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,900; raised from $879,900 on 8/24/12

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,419 Sq. Ft.
$634 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1970
Lot Size: 6,100 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 38 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: North Shoreline
MLS#: 81230153
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

LOCATION!LOCATION!LOCATION! Beautiful home in downtown MtView! Mostly dual pane windows/doors; gleaming hardwood flr, plantation miniblind/shutters, skylight, mirror closet drs, newer roof, newer landscaping. Relax in leafy backyrd. close to everywhere–downtown restaurants, light rail and train station, high tech companies/google/facebook. .Ready to move in!

Yet another house in Mountain View, but this one has a “bunus”!  It’s right here in Picture #21.  We had to use a different Red Arrow, because while we were busy finding housing fail, Aviary went and dumped its Advanced Suite of Red Arrow Drawing Tools.

Yes, we found a real Dude Hanging Out, plus flash in the mirror.

Maybe if the agent goes back and takes this picture again, from an angle with no DHO and no flash, the house will go Pending in a day.  After all, LOCATION!LOCATION!LOCATION!

Gosh, they raised the price two weeks after listing it, too!  Doing everything right like this should make this house as popular as Bill Clinton at a haiku convention.

It’s been far too long since we’ve checked in with Burbed reader Tom Paine.  Tom’s found us a new manse in Northern Marin!  Thanks!

188 Caribe Isle
Novato, CA 94949
$450,000

SHORT SALE
1 Story Detached
0 bedroom
– bathrooms
Finished Sq Ft: 1,824 sq ft
Lot Size: 0.22 acres
Year Built: 1964
48 years old
Type: 1 Story Detached
Style: Contemporary
Taxes: —
Subdivision: Novato
Stories: 1
1 PhotoPlay Video
Listed For Sale: 9/13/12
6 Days
$450,000
MLS #21221815

Here’s what Tom had to say when sending us this listing:

No bedrooms.  Nope, no bedrooms. Must be located between two starbucks.

Actually, we think it’s located in a foldspace anomoly, since there’s another house that’s not for sale at the same address, with a positive number of actual BRs and BAs.  We hope the higher dimensional attributes that allow these two homes to exist in superposition are included with the lot, or you’ll need to bring Erwin Schrödinger to help collapse the wave-form at your closing.

188 Caribe Isle
Novato, CA 94949
$882,000 Last Sold Price

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,824 Sq. Ft.
$484 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964
Lot Size: 9,600
Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Jul 23, 2007
Status: Sold
Source: Public Records

No Property Details Available

Sorry, but Redfin currently has no details for this property.

No Agent Insights on This Home

We haven’t left any notes about this home yet, but as soon as we do, we’ll leave our thoughts here.

Sheesh.  Maybe Sawbuck can’t prove there are any bedrooms or bathrooms in this house, but they auto-generate these really thorough videos!  We’re disappointed that the narrator, using the Sawbuck info above, didn’t mention “no bedrooms.”  Or to be more exact, zero.

Longtime readers of this site might remember that Our Founder had this thing about pink houses.  Every once in a while we find a really Special one to keep the Dream alive!  Here’s a winner in South San Francisco, and you’ve already figured out what we meant by “winner,” didn’t you?  We mean that you can buy this house for only twice as much as your brother in Akron paid for his 5 bedroom spread on an acre.

826 W ORANGE Ave
South San Francisco, CA 94080
$325,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
930 Sq. Ft.
$349 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1945
Lot Size: 4,240 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Ranch
Community: Avalon Park
MLS#: 81233867

Great location in Southwood. Short stroll to the Library, and Adult School. Fixer upper, probate sale requires court confirmation. 1st showing on Sunday Sept 16 from 1 -4 PM. Termite inspection report and disclosure package will be available by Sept 21, 2012. Offer to use probate bid form provided in disclosure package. Seal bid to be delivered to listing office by Oct 16, 2012 before 5 PM.

Oh goody, court confirmation!  So this is a perfect house for you if you hate pushy agents who want you to fill out paperwork yesterday, and you’re not in much of a hurry to live anywhere, and you prefer vintage fixtures.

And at a whopping 930 square feet, it’s not like you’ll have enough room to move more than one U-Haul truck’s worth of furnishings.

Definitely check out the (only) bathroom, and then look under the cabinet for some bleach to clean your brain from any aftereffects of this photo.  There’s more photos of the other rooms on the listing!

But hey! The house is definitely pink and it can be yours… in October… we hope… just in time to paint it orange for either Halloween or to match the street name.

Okay, have we been telling you that Mountain View is hot, hot, hot?  We have.  And today we have a home in, yes, Mountain View, that wasn’t just sold and didn’t go pending over the weekend.  Or maybe it did, but they hadn’t updated it yet.  What can we say?  RUN do not WALK to get your overbids in!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader dollarbin for yet another Monta Loma medalist!

Updated 12:04: Not in Monta Loma actually.  See below.

726 TELFORD Ave
Mountain View, CA 94043
$712,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,104 Sq. Ft.
$645 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1955
Lot Size: 5,529 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 6 days
Property Type: Attached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community: North Shoreline
MLS#: 81233532

Mountain View k-8 schools with-in 2 minutes walk and 5 minutes bicycle ride. Work at Microsoft? Google? Spectra Phsyics? 5 Minute bike ride. Need to get coffee, turn the corner hit StarBucks. You can create a place to call home near everything, far from nothing. Quiet street, awesome neighbors, no cross traffic – this will sell quickly. Don’t miss the boat!

Here’s what dollarbin thought about this latest Mountain View dispatch:

This RE agent was so busy spewing hyperbole that he neglected to provide any interior shots.  I think my favorite line is “near everything, far from nothing.”

I’m not versed in RE speak, but is “Negotiate Possession” a warning sign, or does it just mean that there’s rental tenants that you’d have to boot before you move in?

Well we think it means “Mountain View is hot, hot, hot! So just because we’re going to sell you this house doesn’t mean we’re moving out any time soon.  Your appreciation will more than pay for your rent somewhere else.”

Do any of our readers have a better idea?

Work at Microsoft? Google? Spectra Phsyics [sic]?  Does anyone still work at Spectra Phsyics?

Updated 12:04: The house is not in the Monta Loma neighborhood (also observed in comments).  Here’s dollarbin with some followup.  Burbed regrets the error on our part.

Small correction, this house is not in Monta Loma, it’s on the wrong side of Rengstorff and the wrong side of Middlefield. It’s the same kind of Mackay and vintage as those built in ML, though.

Today’s story deserves a good long sit and read, followed by a good long sit and think.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for wafting this one in.

Wealthy home buyers demand bathrooms; lots of bathrooms

Some mansions have nearly as many toilets as entire blocks in less regal neighborhoods

By Lauren Beale, Los Angeles Times, March 2, 2012, 6:34 p.m.

Here’s another way the rich are different: They have more bathrooms.

Real estate brokers who cater to the moneyed say their clients typically want homes that have at least two bathrooms for every bedroom. And with spacious tubs, floor lamps, dressing areas and seating, some bathrooms rival bedrooms in size.

“The bathroom has become the dressing room,” said Bob Ray Offenhauser, a Studio City-based residential architect who routinely encloses the shower and toilet in their own rooms within a room. “They really don’t look much like bathrooms anymore.”

Some mansions have nearly as many commodes as entire blocks in less regal neighborhoods.

Pickfair, the Beverly Hills estate of Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks, was outfitted with 30 bathrooms in a later overhaul. But the record locally may be the 41 bathrooms boasted by an 18,400-square-foot Mediterranean-style home in Bel-Air that was recently on the market for $40 million, real estate agents say.

This is an alarming trend coming out of SoCal.  Why would ginormous Southland estates need more bathrooms than the San Jose Convention Center?  Do they all need to do coke privately, but simultaneously?  Is this high-pressure trend going to affect estates in the Real Bay Area?

Discuss.  You may refer to Facebook stock prices to support your conclusion.

This is also your Weekend Open Thread, so feel free to mention any Open Houses you visited, or whatever else you feel like arguing about today.

Just keep the door shut until you’re done.

We’ve dropped by the Buena Vista “Mobil Home Park,” the only trailer park in Palo Alto, a few times.  But Burbed reader Stefan alerts us that the much-maligned mobile mews may be moving on.  Thanks very much!

Burbed reader Real Estater also mentioned this article in comments.

Palo Alto mobile-home park faces redevelopment

Buena Vista residents could be forced out to make way for apartments

by Sue Dremann, Palo Alto Weekly Staff

Buena Vista, the only surviving mobile-home park in Palo Alto, could soon be history, according to city officials.

Residents in the 117-unit park located at 3980 El Camino Real received a letter from property owner/manager Joe Jisser last week informing them that his family is exploring redevelopment options.

The family has owned Buena Vista, located near Los Robles Avenue behind a strip mall, since 1986, Jisser said on Monday. They are working with Prometheus Real Estate Group in San Mateo.

Prometheus specializes in the acquisition, development and management of residential and commercial properties and builds apartments, according to its website. It also focuses on transit-oriented development in areas that are close to corporate campuses, such as Apple in Cupertino and Google in Mountain View.

You think 15 units per acre is too dense for Palo Alto?  Promethius Development has many more rent-paying people per parcel planned for what they’re putting in.  Try 40 units an acre.  If you’ve read this book, just imagine life in The Stacks (which are literally mobile homes stacked into slum towers).

Why is the owner finally considering selling out, after owning the park since 1986?  Infrastructure.  Water pipes and electrical wires and transmission are nearing the end of their useful life, and state codes have changed.  It isn’t enough to replace them, they’d have to be upgrades.  Not only that, most of the mobile homes in the park are too old to handle new systems.  And not only has the electrical code changed.  So has the law on spacing the units themselves.  Keeping the park legally open is going to become very, very expensive.

Meanwhile, the City of Palo Alto has a plan for development, and that includes multifamily homes along El Camino Real.  So apartment blocks are looking pretty likely.  And the low-income folks living here may well be SOL.  There is a city law that says they should get moving-out money, but realistically, there aren’t a lot of places they can go.  Many of them will move out in advance of the paid relocation, simply to ensure finding subsidized housing elsewhere.

Be sure to check out the comments on this article.  Some posters are glad to see the park go, and some prefer it stay in favor of a denser apartmentplex.  Of course most of them are worried about all those extra kids moving into THEIR SCHOOLS.  Because anyone moving into an apartment isn’t a Real Palo Alto Resident and should never be allowed to enroll.  We can’t understand why the trailer trolls are allowed, either.

But fear not.  Even if the BV is scraped to the ground and a shiny new (and dense) apartment complex goes up in its place, there will always be mobile home living in Palo Alto.

Let’s finish up the week on the Peninsula.  Burbed reader Wendie has a very special find for us, a bodacious bunker in Burlingame!  Thanks Wendie!  Meanwhile, we’re going to continue linking to different sites and we’d love to know which ones you prefer, and why.  Wendie sent in a link to mlslistings.com and the home isn’t there anymore.  Fortunately, we found it on Movoto!

Please give Wendie a big, warm, RBA welcome as today’s Guest Blogger with this excellent guest post!

50 Howland Hill Ln
Burlingame, CA 94010
$3,200,000

Loan Payment:  $12,222/mo
Bedrooms:  6
Bathrooms:  5&1/2
Size:  6,461 sqft
$/Sqft:  $495/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  2001
Lot Size:  21,375
Days on Movoto:  63 days
MLS#:  81226232
Status:  Active
Open House:  Sun 01:00pm – 04:00pm

Quality, details, exquisite finishes make this 6BR., 5.5BA, 2FR, 3 car garage,custom built home by Edward Neale truly remarkable. 5611 sf of living space on floors 1 & 2 plus approx 1000 sf of living space on lower level with wine rm, entertainment area featuring a wet bar, separate dining rm,a theatre inspired lounge area plus patios & decks off public rooms. Private lane close to 280/101/SF.

Here’s why Wendie sent this in:

Something about this house seems to scream “Winchester’ to me! Maybe its the “boat” bed. Clearly, that is an adult version of….what? The toddler race car bed that every 3 year old boy in America has?  But clearly, this is not for a little boy. Who would even THINK to want to sleep in that weird bed?

And then the wine cellar…seems very unorganized..no rhyme or reason to it…..and why would the realtor take a photo of the front hall with THE FRONT DOOR OPEN?

Shut the damn door so we can see the entire room!!

Moving onto the kitchen…its huge with an equally large island in the middle…yet NO overhang of the granite so you can put some chairs there and eat at the island. Why not?

And last but not least, what’s up with the backyard? How many separate areas can there be?

Seems like the perfect house for 3 or 4 separate families who never want to bump into one another….

Do you want a house with trees in the front yard, but don’t want to deal with all those tree troubles?  Do you hate raking leaves?  Do you get angry tripping over roots?  How about falling branches?  Well, have we a house for you today, courtesy of Burbed reader nomadic, guaranteed to minimize those arboreal obstacles.

601 W REMINGTON Dr
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$950,000

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,660 Sq. Ft.
$572 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959
Lot Size: 7,245 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 36 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81229511
Style: Contemporary
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

This beautiful Eichler is full of light with a slate atrium courtyard. Inside you will find new bamboo floors with radiant heat and a remodeled gourmet kitchen. The kitchen features quartz counters, alder wood cabinets and GE Cafe appliances. Enjoy the open living room and spacious dining area. You will truly enjoy this home and its location near Las Palmas Park and Cumberland Elementary.

New bamboo floors inside?  It’s the outside you need to be taking a good look at.  That hedge along the front wall will satisfy your need for tree-like objects without any objectionable tree-like behaviors.

Plus the backsplash design in the kitchen will wake you up every time you enter the room.  It’s not that the colors are particularly objectionable; we’re just not sure that design goes with the alder, the bamboo, the quartz and the stainless.

We haven’t even gotten into the slate.

So, nice open Eichler plan, recent remodel of a 50 year old house.  Ready to plop down almost a mil for the second best elementary in the Sunnyvale school district?  Maybe you should first check the location, location, location.

Because living on the corner of a secondary arterial and the route to a park and tennis center means the whole city will have many opportunities to admire your hedge!  No wonder it went pending — BOOM!

“Bunus”: Here’s what Google Streetview shows when you give this address:

This may be the first house on Burbed to score so many roadblocks in one place.

Today’s fistful of awesome in Alum Rock is brought to you by Burbed reader Tracy Tea House. Thanks very much for this foothill find!

15865 East Alta Vista Way
San Jose – East Valley, CA 95127
$499,000

3 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 partial bath, 1,570 square feet, Single Family
Lot Size: 15,794 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1950
Days on ZipRealty: 34
Listed: 08/09/12
Price/sq ft: $318
Estimated Monthly Payment: $1,737
Neighborhood: East Foothills
School District: Alum Rock Union Elementary School District, East Side Union High School District
Source: MLSListings Inc.
MLS #: 81229860
Views: 61
Popularity: 8
Walk Score®: 9

Large yard w/deck & view of downtown SJ & Silicon Valley — marvelous! Newly improved driveway. Home is in move-in condition. Bonus room could be 3rd bedroom. Shows well. Level site on lot. Quiet residential hillside neighborhood is minutes away from shopping & parks. Not a through street — EAST Alta Vista Way has only a few (somewhat enormous) houses on it. Enjoy the view!

And here’s why Tracy chose this house out of thousands just for you!

Near a few enormous houses.  Truly poor photography. Value fail, great list copy.

What are you talking about?  This is great photography!  Do you have any idea how hard a photographer has to work to compose images like these?  Anyone can take pictures of a house, but this?  This transcends the artform by questioning its purpose.

For example, is the front of that fireplace actually carpeted?  Or is it a ginormous piece of hard candy?  Only a truly gifted photographer could make you wonder like that.

And instant equity galore!  Just check out the price history!  In no time flat the market’s going to heat up to eleven and every property price in this county will double in eleven minutes.  Yes, you read it here first.  The Real Bay Area is back, it’s booming, and it’s bettuh than evuh!

It’s been at least a few days since we featured a house in Mountain View.  Fortunately, this grave error is about to be rectified with a guest post!  Today Burbed reader mabel du will be your guest blogger.  Please give mabel du, Burbed’s very own e.e. cummings, a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome.

Once again, we have a Mountain View property (it’s hot there, I tell you, hot! hot! hot!) that was completely removed from the well-behaved listing sites.  We’ll assume this is another case of Pending/Do Not Show, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect Listing Photos Online.  Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for certain not-so-well-behaved websites, so we can bring you the pix.  Today’s listing laggard is Sawbuck.  Thanks for taking your time!

Update 12 noon: For those without Sawbuck sign-ins, we’ve added a few more photos at the end so you can appreciate teh awesome.

2379 Jane Lane
Mountain View, CA 94043
$799,000

Status: Contract (19 Days)

Bedrooms : 3
Bathrooms : 2
Lot Size : 0.11 ac
Finished Sq Ft : 1,104 sq. ft.
Type : Detached Single Family
Style : Eichler
Year Built : 1955
Subdivision : Thompson
Stories : 1
MLS# : 81231454
WalkScore™ : 72 (Very Walkable)

1344 Sq.Ft.4 bedrooms, Garage converted to sound room/bedroom with private entrance(permits uk)Light and bright with many windows. Remodeled Kitchen and baths, new tile floors in bathrooms, new laminate floor:kitchen & LivingRoom & DiningRoom, new carpet in bedrooms.New Dual pane windows,outside and inside paint.Spa and large storage shed. Monta Loma elementary a block away, Close to Costco/Google

here’s a dilly.  nothing particularly spectacular about the house, but the realtor’s comments?  they’re oh-so-educational.  clearly, the buying public it too stoopid to know what the rooms are, so the realtor titled each picture.

i’d never have guessed what that there room was with all the cabinets and appliancey stuff, but she helped me understand with the label “kitchen”.  and the education continues for each room.  except…

except for the mysterious “Garage converted to sound room/bedroom with private entrance(permits uk)”  curious and curiouser – what could it possibly be???

interesting that her text description doesn’t match to the stats posted on the same page;  4 bedrooms vs 3;  1344 sq ft  vs  1104 sq ft.  but her comment “(permits uk)” pretty much answers the question, in weird circular logic.  assuming “uk” equals ‘unknown’ and not a weird worm hole back to jolly ol’ england.

Update: Added some more photos.  —ed.