November 28, 2012

Danger Man visits Santa Cruz County

121122-blackfridayWe’re continuing the DEALS DEALS DEALS with yet another region full of cheap housing. Today’s victim: Santa Cruz County!  But wait, you may rudely point out. Santa Cruz County is not part of the Bay Area.  It does not have any part of it touching the Bay.

Oh yeah?  What’s Monterey Bay, chopped liver?  Plenty of people commute to Silicon Valley from Santa Cruz County.  Maybe even Googlers.  Presenting, the cheapest house in all of Santa Cruz County!

121127-hazel-redfin575 HAZEL BRAKE
San Lorenzo Valley, CA 95006

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
900 Sq. Ft.
$128 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1943 
Lot Size: 0.45 Acres 
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type
Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Boulder Creek
MLS#: 81241767
Style: Cabin
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

DO NOT visit property with out an Agent; stairway, deck and house could be dangerous. This is a major fixer-upper, however it is in a great neighborhood. Bracken Brae has hiking trails, picnic grounds, private water system and roads with lovely river access just for owners.

121127-hazel-trashbinsWhen a property listing starts out with a warning like DO NOT visit property, we know it’s going to be good. And unlike the places we found earlier this week, this one has more than 2500 square feet of land.  It also has more than one picture, which means more work for us. 

At left is Picture number two.  Out of 24. Believe us when we say this is one of the cheerier views.

Also, catch the not-so-subtle reminder that rentards aren’t deserving of anything: lovely river access just for owners.  This is like Foothills Park, except living in Palo Alto is nowhere as exciting. For this dangerous listing, DO NOT go anywhere (especially stairway, deck and house) with out an Agent. DO NOT even look at these photos.


This agent deserves some kind of award, for either Whole Truth In Real Estate Photography, or for skipping the worse views that weren’t included.

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

12 Responses to “Danger Man visits Santa Cruz County”

  1. Tracy Tea House Says:

    I actually saw a property like this, with a realtard, in SC county, and what this listing is missing is the smell. This also looks like a mess that meth built. I think it should say “Do not visit with out Haz Mat suit.”

  2. nomadic Says:

    That’s not a house. It’s a lean-to.

    How is visiting with an agent supposed to magically make it safe to enter?

  3. SEA Says:

    A tree house for meth cookers.

  4. dollarbin Says:

    Can we add the tag “It puts the lotion in the basket”?

  5. mabeldu Says:

    someone was sampling too much of what they grew or cooked in that place. sold for 110K in ’09 and they lost it to foreclosure?!? how hard is it to resell your handmade products to make the $500 mtg payment?

    and what’s with the cage-like area? looks like a set for a horror movie. no need to ask where the bodies are buried – they’re all over the lot fertilizing the greenery.

  6. madhaus Says:

    Dang. Forgot the good housekeeping tag of approval.

  7. nomadic Says:

    Looks like bodies in black plastic garbage bags in picture 8. And some wrapped in silvery plastic in 15.

    Shouldn’t this dump be red-tagged by the county? It’s much more than a “fixer upper.” I cannot believe anyone could get a loan on this place. (Anyone with enough cash should have the sense to live somewhere else.) The listing should use our old favorite “value is in the land.”

  8. Dr. Chorillo Says:

    Do not visit property without an *armed law enforcement* agent.

  9. Dr. Chorillo Says:

    After looking over all 24 grim crime scene photos, it’s safe to conclude that someone was actually living in this disgraceful pig sty. And they had children. And they didn’t just have dinner — they had DiGiorno.

  10. madhaus Says:

    Okay this is interesting. The info says this charming residence was built in 1943. But I found this real estate overview story from 2009 that says:

    Jan O’Neill, an agent with Century 21 in Boulder Creek with two children in college and one recent grad, has sold five homes this year with an average price of $200,000. Typically she sells 15 homes with prices ranging from $400,000 to $700,000.

    “It’s a tough market,” she said. “It’s a good thing my husband has a full-time job.”

    O’Neill sold a cabin from the 1920s at 575 Hazel Brake in Boulder Creek, asking $126,000; it got two offers and sold for $110,000 in October after being on the market for five months.

    “I priced it as a tear-down,” she said. “It required a lot of repair.”

    Admittedly the property records mention a “multi-property sale” but hmmmmm.

    Also check out the County records (in Redfin). Did our Pride of Ownership crew manage to misplace 600 square feet of their own house? If they were cooking more than DiGiorno, that’s entirely likely.

    Beds 2 Style Single Family Residential
    Baths 1 Finished Sq. Ft. 1,409
    Floors — Unfinished Sq. Ft. 0
    Year Built 1943 Total Sq. Ft. 1,409
    Year Renovated — Lot Size 19,602

  11. nomadic Says:

    Maybe the missing 600sf is the first level that appeared to be converted to cage space.

  12. DonnieJ Says:

    Everybody here knows this was a Marijuana flophouse right?
    Every picture looks like it’s straight out of some crime report.

    I see nutrient containers, old soil with stalks sticking out, soil bags, plywood rooms, white styrofoam walls, rockwool cubes, jerry rigged irrigation, ducting for ventilation, carbon filter is still hanging for smell abatement (lord knows why in the country), cardboard ripped off of windows to block out the light, plywood on windows to block off the light, and the last two pictures show jerry rigged electrical. BAD BAD BAD

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