July 29, 2013

A house near intrigue, excitement, sex & piles of cash

Tired of your boring life working in a cube farm and returning to your apartment farm? This listing is for you! Best of all, it’s in the center of happening stuff. That’s right! Mountain View!

Thanks very much to Burbed reader dollarbin for not only sending us the listing, but the amazing story that goes with it. Or next to it. Or, if you don’t read this article, may involve the next owner.

130728-tyrella-redfin620 TYRELLA Ave
Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,000

4 Beds
2.5 Baths
1,833 Sq. Ft.
$490 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2002
Lot Size: 4,978 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 59 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Whisman
MLS#: 81318701
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Gorgeous light & bright 2-story home! Almost new-11 years old! Gourmet kitchen has granite counter tops. Sep Family Room has gas fireplace. Living Room is perfect for Downstairs 4th BR! Formal dining room. Gleaming hardwood floors & new carpeting. Master suite features spa-tub & walk in closet. Redwood deck is perfect for outdoor entertaining. Large 2-car garage. Lush Landscaping. Mt View High!

130728-tyrella-gleamingWell that’s pretty exciting, an eleven year old house calling itself almost new. We guess if you compare it to the typical Mountain View Eichloid put up in 1956 this place was practically finaled yesterday. If only they’d put in confetti tile to get with the 2010s.

And if the gleaming hardwood floors aren’t enough high drama, then the following story directly from the same block as this house certainly will be.

 

Blind date robbers strike a third time

by Nick Veronin, Mountain View Voice Staff
Uploaded: Friday, June 7, 2013, 4:33 PM, Updated: Monday, June 10, 2013, 10:46 AM

They did it again.

For the third time in just over a week, a man was lured to the 600 block of Tyrella Avenue believing he would have sex with a woman he met online on top of a bed covered in money. Unfortunately for this man — and the two others who were duped before him — instead of taking a roll through cold hard cash, he was rolled for his cash.

130728-tyrella-rolling

You can read the entire story at the link above, and yes, all three of these dudes actually believed they were going to meet a woman whose fantasy was to “make the beast with two backs on a bed full of Benjamins.”

We absolutely swear that is a direct quote from the Voice.

If only one of these men had bought this house instead of showing up at a rental apartment building, they wouldn’t have had any spare cash to get rolled for. Instead, they could have met a woman online who would join them on top of a bed which is in turn on top of a house covered by an even huger pile of money (never mind that most of it belongs to the bank).

Plus, it would be much harder for her to steal the money that way. Unless she’s with the bank.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:07 am

4 Responses to “A house near intrigue, excitement, sex & piles of cash”

  1. dollarbin Says:

    “Living Room is perfect for Downstairs 4th BR! ”
    Wait, is this a 3 bed room place and they’re counting the living room as a 4th bedroom? From the pictures, that living room is pretty exposed, I suppose they don’t include privacy in their definition of perfect. Perhaps they’re trying to capture Mountain View’s latest housing trend

  2. nomadic Says:

    Three price changes in this market? It was pending once before – I wonder if the buyers backed out when they realized the “4th bedroom” didn’t exist. That has to be against Realtard rules.

  3. Petsmart groomer Says:

    County records (source: Zillow) say it is a 3/2.5 and 1,653 sq ft.

    To the potential buyer: good luck with the assessment!

  4. dollarbin Says:

    Caught! (allegedly)


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