14 MANSION Ct #714, Menlo Park, CA 94025 | MLS# 80930044
14 MANSION Ct #714 Menlo Park, CA 94025
Price: $1,995,000

Beds: 3
Baths: 3.5
Sq. Ft.: 2,850
$/Sq. Ft.: $700
Lot Size: 1 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Condominium
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 1-3 (Low Rise)
View: Bay, City Lights
Year Built: 1975
Community: Sharon Heights/Stanford Hills
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80930044
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 122 days
Fabulous bay views from this sophisticated Sharon Heights condominum. grand master suite, exceptionally spacious room sizes, wonderful entertaining flow and move in condition! One level living with step down living room, sep. dining area, wet bar, updated eat in kitchen w/ office nook. Large storage & two car pkg in secure garage. Lush gardens, pool, spa, club house, elevator. Las lomitas schools

To celebrate the peak of Condo/Townhouse week, I thought this would be appropriate.

It’s ok to gasp.

$2 million dollars for a condo on Mansion Ct. A 3br/3.5 ba 2,850 sqft condo. This is craziness!

You know what else is crazy? The HOA: $900 a month.

You might be wondering, how much over asking will this house that requires a $9,468 monthly payment sell for?

Honestly, it’s hard to say. There’s so many things going for this house. First, it’s on a street called Mansion Ct… that in itself is worth 2% over asking. Then there’s the fact that it is really targeted at middle managers who don’t want the hassle of homeownership – but they do want the pride. That’s probably worth another 4%. Finally, there’s the $900 HOA! That makes living here extremely exclusive. That’s gotta be worth another 5%.

All in all, this is an extremely unique property that’s looking for an extremely unique customer. But once the perfect match is made, someone will be living in an awesome condo on Mansion Court.

(HINT to future buyer: please petition the city to rename the street: Megamansion Row, to up the value!)

Sorry, before you read this entry, you must watch this video clip – Mike’s Marbleopolis.

6456 GUADALUPE MINES Rd, San Jose, CA 95120 | MLS# 80947514
6456 GUADALUPE MINES Rd San Jose, CA 95120
Price: $1,688,800

Beds: 5
Baths: 4
Sq. Ft.: 3,857
$/Sq. Ft.: $438
Lot Size: 1.36 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Mediterranean
Stories: 2
View: Green Belt, Mountains
Year Built: 1996
Community: Almaden Valley
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80947514
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 15 days
WOW!!! Fabulous Mediterranean Villa surrounded by mature Valley Oak trees. Expansive lawn plus areas to practice golf, a vineyard with 300 vines of premium cabernet grapes, & a regulation size volleyball court. Private setting with scenic landscaping. You will fall in love with this very unique home! Great for entertaining! Los Gatos Schools! Open House: Oct. 18 2:00-4:00

Thanks to Burbed reader Nomadic for this find.

Wow. Who lives here? The Pope? Just look at those columns. Ooh la la! Look how elegant that staircase looks as a result. Is this house shipped over from Italy?

But wait… there’s more! There’s this one:

And that one!

With columns like those in the bedroom, you won’t need any help because… heck… you’ve got columns!

So now you too can live in the San Jose Whitehouse. All you need are these columns.

788 Clara Dr, Palo Alto, CA 94303 | MLS# 80927131
788 Clara Dr Palo Alto, CA 94303
Price: $1,550,000

Beds: 5
Baths: 3.5
Sq. Ft.: 2,915
$/Sq. Ft.: $532
Lot Size: 5,663 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 2
Year Built: 1954
Community: Midtown
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80927131
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending With Release
On Redfin: 138 days
BEST $$$$ PER SQ. FT VALUE FOR THIS SIZE HOME IN MIDTOWN! NOT REPRODUCABLE! EXPANDED AND REMODELED. RECENT UPDATES. FLOWING FLRPLN W/ ABUNDANT NTRL LT. DRAMATIC 17 FT FRML ENTRY. GLEAMING HW FLRS, CUSTM MLDGS, RECSD LTNG ABOUND! LRG FDR W/ CSTM BLT-INS. HUGE LR, KIT, SEP FR FLOW TO LRG PRVT YARD W/ FLGSTONE PATIO, LAWN, & SUNDECK! WALKING DISTANCE TO TOP RATED P. A. SCHLS, PRKS, SPNG, TRNS. EZ COMMUTE TO 101 OR 280!

Thanks to Burbed reader Galileo for this find!

This house is not reproducable – or reproducible! The fact that it is built with such loving care in Palo Alto prevents that from happening.

Frankly, I think this is significantly underpriced, which probably explains why it’s pending already! It’s got so much going for it. Heck, even the house number is lucky! I bet there 32109 bids, and still growing. $532 per square foot? What a tease!

However, what really makes this house not reproducable, is the neighbors! Let’s take a quick walk down the street to meet one!

Oh excellent! There’s an antique car collector down the street! In fact, it’s right next door!

This will provide for a fantastic learning experience for your children. In between MyTwitFace, they can learn how to change a carburetor air filter, and find empties for recycling! Now that’s diversity!

They’ll also learn about fairness – for example, how your children’s parents will be paying $15,000 a year in property tax while their neighbor pays one order of magnitude less – $1,370. Hey, after all, 780 Clara Street helped build this community. They’ve earned it.

41 BOTANY Ct, Redwood City, CA 94062 | MLS# 80941626
41 BOTANY Ct Redwood City, CA 94062
Price: $1,899,995

Beds: 4
Baths: 2.5
Sq. Ft.: 4,420
$/Sq. Ft.: $430
Lot Size: 0.28 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 2
View: Bay, Neighborhood, City Lights
Year Built: 1988
Community: Cordilleras Heights
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80941626
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 3 days
Gorgeous recently remodeled home. Incredible partial Bay view. Immaculate condition, soaring high ceilings, gourmet chef’s kitchen w/ stainless steel appliances, large master suite w/ stunning bath, elegant extra bonus rm. for entertainment ctr. etc. , custom designed with exquisite finishes throughout, large three car garage w/ extra storage. Lush gardens and yard perfect for family entertaining.

Thanks to Burbed reader RinkRat for sending this in. This is what he had to say:

Check out the realtard’s description on this one.    There must have been an adjective sale at the Dollar Tree, because he used all the good ones in one paragraph…How exquisite!

Well… sort of. Here are some other terms that I usually see in Bay Area listings that I think are noticably missing here:

1. Rental income for garage.
2. Instant equity waiting for you to be unlocked.
3. Great for first time buyers (who like to buy million dollar homes)
4. Great schools (compared to ones in Somalia)
5. Environmentally friendly.

Can you think of other adjectives that this house is missing?

710 KNOLL Dr, San Carlos, CA 94070 | MLS# 80937091
710 KNOLL Dr San Carlos, CA 94070
Price: $1,850,000

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,940
$/Sq. Ft.: $954
Lot Size: 0.69 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 1
View: Bay, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights
Year Built: 1940
Community: Howard Park
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80937091
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 16 days
Location is in the heart of San Carlos. Walk to downtown SanCarlos. Rare opportunity for 30,000sqft parcel ! Over 30,000 feet with panoramic bay views!! You have great pool site and possible tennis court!! Plenty of level area for great yard!! This is 2 lots with 2 APNs – so you could remodel current home to dream home and sell off lot to pay for remodel!! Great possibilites both lots have plans.

The listing agent also has a bridge they want to sell you! Check it out!

Just kidding. This is actually a pretty amazing deal – you’re actually buying 2 lots! And you can sell the other lot to pay for the remodel of the current house.

Frankly, I’m not sure I understand why the owner is giving away the house like this. Why wouldn’t he sell the two lots separately and make even more money?

Any good theories here?

441 MENLO OAKS Dr, Menlo Park, CA 94025 | MLS# 80924368
441 MENLO OAKS Dr Menlo Park, CA 94025
Price: $1,800,000

Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 790
$/Sq. Ft.: $2,278
Lot Size: 0.43 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1923
Community: Menlo Oaks Area
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80924368
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending With Release
On Redfin: 76 days
Perfect setting for anyone???s dream home. This sunny, flat lot is located in a serene and rustic environment with mature Oak and Redwood trees. The numerous luxury properties that already exist in the neighborhood make this an ideal place to build a quality home. A perfect lot in a great neighborhood – don???t miss this exceptional opportunity! The Property is being sold as land value only.

Holy cow! .43 acres! That’s a huge amount of land!

Here’s what Burbed reader Sonarrat had to say about this house:

Could anyone justify this? Seriously. If it was zoned R3, sure. It’s close to the apartments on Coleman Road, so it would be a nice site for a new complex. But it’s not, it’s R1.

I think you’re missing the point. This is your opportunity to build your dream home, your trophy home. Your home that says “I just IPOed!” Your home that says “Silicon Valley makes everyone rich!” This one isn’t about monetization. It’s about showoffization.

Just think of how envious others will be when you build your own Menlo Park version of Versailles on this .43 acre plot of land.

The first thing I would do? Give the estate a name.

I’d call it “Athertonish”.

515 EASTVIEW Way, Woodside, CA 94062 | MLS# 80925593
515 EASTVIEW Way Woodside, CA 94062

Price: $1,650,000
Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,350
$/Sq. Ft.: $1,222
Lot Size: 1.32 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch, Contemporary
Stories: 1
View: Valley
Year Built: 1938
Community: Emerald Hills Area
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80925593
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending Without Release
On Redfin: 46 days
Trust Sale, present as is condition. Solid older home, fenced horse property; barn. Home needs updating but in good condition. Near multimillion dollar homes. One point 3 acres fenced. Room for trailer, rv parking.

Thanks to Burbed reader Herve for this find. It’s Herve week!

Let’s face it… all around the world, it is a well known fact that Woodside is unique in so many ways. The (future) home of Steve Jobs, many other CEOs and rich people – it’s proof that the Real Bay Area is truly magical.

Just look at the sky in this photo. It’s a combination of two things:

1. That the amazing aura of so many wealthy people can clear up clouds, and produce a perfectly blue sky. If you had just ordinary people, it wouldn’t look like that.

2. Amazing photography skills by Realtors. Only a licensed, 3-6% earning Realtor can capture a moment like this.

Looking at this photo simply brings tears to my eyes. My god is the Real Bay Area beautiful. So beautiful. Thank you Realtor for helping the world see it!

1681 PROVINCETOWN Dr, Cupertino, CA 95129 | MLS# 80926285
1681 PROVINCETOWN Dr Cupertino, CA 95129
Price: $1,549,888

Beds: 5
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: 2,800
$/Sq. Ft.: $554
Lot Size: 6,500 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Mediterranean
Stories: 2
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 2009
Community: Cupertino
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80926285
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 23 days
Gorgeous new custom home in great neighborhood of 3 new home subdivision! Reputable national award winning schools: Lynbrook High/Joaquin Miller Middle/John Muir Elem. Custom design/built exterior and interior with high end materials and appliances. Elegant taste makes the house stunning and most desirable for living. A definite rare opportunity in the neighborhood! You don???t want to miss it.

Thanks to Burbed reader sonarrat for this find.

Why did he send it? Because he noticed this:

Um.

Maybe this is disputed territory, like Kashmir. That said, it does seem peculiar that all the RE listing sites allow this to be classified as Cupertino. Is this an indicator for some sort of future land grab? Annexation? What’s the deal?

Maybe, it’s a reference to the fact that Cupertino is now a state of mind, and not just a geographical area!

BTW, what awards have these schools won nationally that distinguish them?

Anyway, buy this house, and then provoke Cupertino into becoming an occupying force. And watch as your equity instantly soars!