Just because we’re doing the Blogging from A to Z Challenge doesn’t mean we Have to Hold off our Hallowed Habits. One of them is that we welcome contributions from our readers. Heck, we Harangue our readers if they don’t play along. So, today we are Heaving up another letter of the alphabet, and Having a different poster Handle it.

We Hope you enjoy today’s Happening post from Burbed reader bublidoo!  Please give bublidoo a Healthy, Hot Real Bay Area Homecoming with today’s Holy $#*@! House.

1161 Highland Ter
Fremont, CA 94539
$5,493,000

6 Beds
9.5 Baths
9,967 Sq. Ft.
$551 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009
Lot Size: 1.64 Acres
On Redfin: 79 days
Type: Detached
Stories 2
Community: Mission
MLS#: 40601026
Style: Custom
View: Bay, City Lights, Hills, Panoramic, Pasture, Ridge, San Francisco, Water
County: Alameda

Panoramic View, Custom Home, Like Living in Taj Mahal, Elevator, 6 Bedrooms-9.5 Bathrooms, Banquet Hall w/ Stage-Seat over 100, All Bedrooms have Full Bathrooms, $150,000 /Crystal Lights and Chandeliers, Stainless Steel Garage & Exterior Doors, Credit Available for Personalizing Your Finishing Touch.

Let’s Hear from bublidoo Her/Himself!

Figured eventually you’ll get to H.

This has got to be the butt-ugliest way to spend nearly 5.5 Million bucks. HDR [check] Cawlumns [check]. Granite on the wall [check]. More bathrooms than bedrooms [check] "Living like in Taj Mahal" [check]. Yeah, that’s right … sooooo much bling it makes a baroque castle look sparse.

But the HDR … OMG, the HDR! The first pic … OMG, seriously, I thought it’s so synthetic looking it must be from a first person shooter or something. This has gotta be the highest DR evar.

More pictures Here, because you gotta Have some kawlums!

It’s Day #6 of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and these Frackin’ Festivities are a Fantastic Folderol! We’ll leave the weekend open thread until tomorrow, as we have another Fantastic Freehold to Flaunt. But First, a Foreward From our Fabricator.

You’ll be looking Forward to Sunday every day the next 2 Fortnights because that’s the only day off From the A-Z Challenge.  So we’ll Fit the open threads into that Forum.

And now back to our Frequently Fated Flagon of Fail.

5599 Greeley Pl
Fremont, CA 94538
$250,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: 1965
Lot Size: 5,918 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Ranch
Community: Fremont
MLS#: 40609034

Great neighborhood, walk to schools. Short Sale Subject to Lender Approval. Open House Sunday April 07, 2:00-4:00 PM. Call (408)977-1700 recorded message for instructions

Forget the Fone For instructions. Just drive along the Freeway until you Find it.

Fine Future. Foreseen For sure.

If you’ve been a long-time reader of this blog, you may remember that burbed (our founder and long-time content creator) had this thing for pink houses.  So the site occasionally would dig up a pink house for Valentines Day.  This year, we found an even better listing for celebrating a day for lovers.  It’s all set up for a Special date you won’t forget!  Many thanks to Burbed reader The Maggadads for this fantastic find from Fremont!

2116 JACKSON St
Fremont, CA 94539
$894,950

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 1,824
$/SQ. FT.: $491
LOT SIZE: 0.28 Acres
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Hills, Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1963
COMMUNITY: Mission San Jose
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40538102
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 186 days

Mission schools! 12,110 sq. ft. lot, 1-story. $50k spent on 2011 remodeling kitchen, baths, carpet, tile, french doors & lighting, dual pane, AC & backyard. Built-in 50′s Diner theme- pool cabana/antique western town, 6-car garage w/ 1/2 bath, pool w/ water fall, new lawn & sprinklers. Not a REO/SS!

Here’s what The Maggadads thought of this place with $50K spent on 2011 remodeling:

I just started reading your blog. Although I take a minor offense to the jabs you poke at Fremont, I couldn’t help but send you this listing.

I’m not sure which is cooler…the 50s themed diner or the western-themed fence. At least it has a 6-car garage!

Wait, let me check, is this a house for sale, or a commercial property?  Because while it’s always good to have a space for entertaining a crowd, a 50s themed diner wasn’t exactly at the top of my list in must-haves for an 1,800 square foot house.

But a 50s themed diner AND a western themed fence, both!  I can die now.  What a Valentines Day you’ll have!  And if your date isn’t successful, one of you can retire to the six-car garage.

Well, this is one of those good news/better news situations.  The good news is yes indeed, this house is in a 100% residential district and there is no danger that one of your neighbors will be opening up a 40s themed diner to compete with yours (and incidentally use up all the street parking).  The better news is, well, location, location, location!

We’ve had many discussions on what makes a place Real Bay Area (RBA) and more importantly, what makes a place Not.  Good schools, professionals for neighbors, and no uncorrectable deficits such as freeways, airports, and toxic waste dumps is a start.  But what’s a real tip-off that a place is in the RBA?

Not only is it way too expensive for what you’re buying, but the asking price has been increased.  Many thanks to Burbed reader Praveen for today’s featured listing.

 

42261 CAMINO SANTA BARBARA
Fremont, CA 94539
$10,998,000

 

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,931
$/SQ. FT.: $5,695
LOT SIZE: 7,910 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1964
COMMUNITY: Alameda County
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 81200779
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

Very exclusive Mission Highlands East section of Chadbourne. One level four bedroom with huge remodeled kitchen and family room. Large master bedroom newly remodeled master bath. Large yard. Wonderful layout. Easy wlk to Mission High, Chadbourne elementary.

This not particularly large home on a not particularly large lot was listed for $1,099,000 on EBRD, the East Bay multiple listing service, last Friday.  But when it appeared on MLS (used by the West Counties) the following Monday, the price had gone up tenfold.  What happened?

Simple. Houses marketed to East Bay buyers aren’t as Special as houses for Peninsula and South Bay buyers.  That’s why there’s one price for the East Bay and a higher, better, more exclusive, lots more Real Price for Silicon Valley lucky duckies.

And boy, some Silicon Valley home-owner-to-be is going to want this place!  Doesn’t that location, location, location suggest rural isolation and quiet evenings at home?

Absolutely!

Get your overbids ready, because photography like you see for this listing doesn’t come cheap!

Fremont doesn’t get anywhere near enough attention from Burbed, but today we take a step toward correcting that oversight.  This is a DEAL, DEAL, DEAL that should make anyone happy. 

Fremont: Close enough to Silicon Valley that commuting is in the realm of possibility, yet with all the quality features we’ve come to expect from close-in areas such as Redwood City, East Palo Alto, or Alum Rock!

57 Sycamore St, Fremont, CA 94536
$147,250

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 845
$/SQ. FT.: $174
LOT SIZE: 4,237 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Fixer/Handyman Special
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1905
COMMUNITY: Fremont
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40551215
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Pending
ON REDFIN: 27 days

View of Creek Hills, Trees, View of Niles River directly behind property, Very Scenic Location. Dual Pane Windows, Walk to Park. Sold in AS-IS condition.

Walk to Park.  Well, I’m sold!  Although I would love to see the inside.  How did they fit 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms in 845 square feet?  Did they leave out the living room and the kitchen?

The house has plenty of history, too.  Plenty of listing history.  BUY NOW!!!!!!

Zillow, the website that brought you the Zestimate, now has a brand-new feature to make fun of.  We’ve all chuckled over how surprisingly off the Zestimate of a home’s value could be.  Well, in the words of Mr. Family Guy, “You think that’s bad?”

Zillow has just introduced the Rent Zestimate.  Yes, now we can compute the Zrent Zratio, using two estimates that may or may not have anything to do with reality!  Let’s try it with a few houses previously featured on Burbed!

Here’s Friday’s house, the Tangrams Set with the High-Tech name.  Once more, the Zestimate has no relation to real life, because if it did this place wouldn’t be sitting unclaimed for 113 days at $200K less than Zillow’s amazing valuation model’s prediction.  To compute the Zrent Zratio, divide the Zestimate by the annual Rent Zestimate.  For this house, $762,000 divided by ($3081 * 12) is 20.6, a number that says rent, don’t buy this house.  (A number above 15 says rent, a number below 15 says buy.)

Although I think the answer is really don’t rent or buy this house, so let’s try again with something a little more desirable.  So let’s stop and smell the roses.

Well, here’s a Zestimate a little more down to earth, as this Beautiful Specious Home is listed for $239,000.  The Zrent Zratio is $217,500 / (1345 * 12) or 13.5.  Buy!  Buy!  BUY!

And here’s our most recent run-in with MAWBUL CAWLUMS, it’s the Shrek House.

Ready?  Oh oh, this place has a Zestimate about 30% of the asking price.  I didn’t say 30% lower, I said it’s 30% of the asking price.  I’m sure the FBs will be happy to set Zillow straight on this.  And the Zrent Zratio is… $1,427,000 / (5587 * 12) = 21.3.  Rent.  Definitely rent.

Okay, now for grins, we’re going to compute the rent ratio using the wishing prices of all three homes, and Zillow’s Rent Zestimate.

• Poinsettia: $575,000 / (2979 * 12) = 16.1 (weak rent, buy it if you love it)
• Gibraltar: $217,500 / (1345 * 12) = 14.8 (buy or rent, it’s a wash)
• Butch: $4,999,000 / (5587 * 12) = 74.6 (rent rent rent rent rent rent are you kidding me?)

So, what do you think of Zillow’s new made up numbers?  Do any of these rents have anything to do with reality?  And if you divide one invented number by another, does the nonsense cancel itself out?

What, it’s Wednesday already, and no submissions from Burbed reader sonarrat yet?  Better fix that oversight right now now.

4094 GIBRALTAR Dr, Fremont, CA 94536
$239,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 884
$/SQ. FT.: $270
LOT SIZE: 1,312 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Townhouse
STYLE: Cape Cod
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1970
COMMUNITY: Fremont
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40495747
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 131 days

Open Home Sat & Sun 1:30 – 4:30 Beautiful specious home with crown moldings and oak laminated floors throughout. Plenty of double pane windows. Gourmet kitchen with beautiful cherry wood cabinetry, granite tile countertops and stainless steel appliances. Inside full size washer and dryer.

Here’s what sonarrat had to say about this, um, place:

If ever there was a perfect Freudian slip, it would be this listing.

Yes, even over in Fremont, better known as Six Cities in Search of an Offer, lower-end housing has succumbed to the obligatory stainless and granite.  This place features all the charm of a Motel 6 coupled with the convenience of monthly homeowner’s association fees ($211).  But hey, you get Common Hot Water for those HOA dues!  Plus pink roses poorly Photoshopped right outside your lot line!

So let’s check out the neighbors!

Diversity rocks!  If you want an integrated neighborhood, you got it! Integrated with apartments, townhouses, single-family houses, a park and what appear to be a bunch of scattered cargo containers.  Maybe they were dropped here by some hurried vessel captain who couldn’t find Alviso?

Better grab this one fast, as it’s been temporarily de-listed, no doubt by canny sellers who know it will lead to multiple offers over asking!  Hurry!

So much to admire about this house, so little they’re willing to show us!  It must be full of awesome sauce inside!

3601 Howe Ct, Fremont, CA 94538
$419,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,640
$/SQ. FT.: $255
LOT SIZE: 7,134 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COMMUNITY: Alameda County
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 81019451
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 289 days

Property in a cul-de-sac; 3 bdrms 2 baths, the garage was converted into a bedroom legality unknown by the seller. Good size backyards. Living room with a fireplace, kitchen with a granite countertops & double sink. This house needs some TLC.

Oh come on, how come none of these listings ever come right out and say “this is an illegal conversion, we’re sorry”?  Legality unknown?  The only thing unknown is why the agent thinks nobody could figure that out.  I mean, look at the place, the garage conversion was done by such unpleasant people that the second floor is trying to make a break for it.

This house needs some TLC, alright.  Some TNT Lit and Combusting.  If you use enough, you can blow the back fence out, too.  Then enjoy watching the trains go back and forth right behind where the house used to be.

Whoo-whoo!  But hey, it’s got granite countertops.

Update: Thanks to Burbed reader nomadic for calling out this amazing Street View!  Wow!

What’s really great about this is it makes the next-door neighbor’s entire house look like it’s the detached garage for the featured place, right down to the echo of the green Yen sign in the housepaint.  Extra points for the yellow vehicle having the hood up.

And, lower East Bay prices too!  Win-win-win!

Officials push for higher tolls during rush hours on San Mateo, Dumbarton bridges

By Mike Rosenberg, The Oakland Tribune

Posted: 01/31/2011 07:23:07 AM PST, Updated: 01/31/2011 09:26:52 AM PST

Drivers crossing the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges would pay higher tolls during rush hours under a plan Peninsula officials are urging Bay Area leaders to adopt.

A group of city, county and transportation officials this week released the new San Mateo Countywide Transportation Plan, which includes support for congestion pricing on the two bridges that connect the Peninsula and East Bay.

"I think it’s a shame they haven’t done congestion pricing," said Rich Napier, executive director of the county’s congestion management agency, which is overseeing the transportation plan. "It does work."

(Photo, above right: Drivers crossing the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges would pay higher tolls during rush hours under a plan Peninsula officials are urging Bay Area leaders to adopt. File photo, The Oakland Tribune.)

Now, some readers of this site are really clever people, and will simply glance at the headline above and figure it out immediately.  Others of you need to be taken by the hand and have a few things spelled out really slowly and carefully.

Congestion pricing, in case you haven’t tried driving across the Bay Bridge during commute hours, means that the toll is higher during rush hour when everyone else is going to work.  At present, Bay Bridge congestion pricing is $6 during peak commute hours and $4 other times.  The San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges have a $5 toll at all times, rush hour or not.

Now, here’s the part you should have already worked out:

Drivers at the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges typically wait less than two minutes to get through the toll booth, according to the Bay Area Toll Authority.

Still, officials said traffic data shows many of the logjams on Highway 101 are caused by commuters who take advantage of cheaper housing in the East Bay and cross the bridges for their jobs in the Peninsula. Slowing traffic on the bridges during the commute could have a ripple effect on Highway 101, where officials have struggled for years to ease bottlenecks, they said.

Ooooh, ripple effect!  Double rainbow all the way!  Across the sky!  By making commuting more expensive or more inconvenient, homes on the Peninsula close to jobs will become even more valuable.  Meanwhile, “cheaper housing in the East Bay” won’t be such a bargain once the commute costs more time and money.  Expect that desirability deficit to work itself into pricing homes in the East Bay if congestion pricing moves to Peninsula bridges.

In related bridge toll news, the Golden Gate bridge authority is getting rid of all their human toll-takers and switching to an all-electronic system.

Yesterday’s house in Newark generated such excitement we’ll look at another fantastic property in South Alameda County.  Drive a little further to work and save, save, save!

3825 Washington, Fremont, CA 94538
$799,000

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 2,347
$/Sq. Ft.: $340
Lot Size: 10,560 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Cottage, Fixer/Handyman Special, Other
STORIES: 1
Year Built: 1890
Community: Irvington
County: Alameda
MLS#: 40493041
Source: EBRD
Status: Active
On Redfin: 78 days

Fixer built in the 1800 s 2 homes on one lot with a RARE Community Commercial Zoning. Units are sold AS-IS Lot faces Washington Blvd and back of lot on Main St. .Many possible bussiness possibilities or Residential Income. Do not enter property without Agent present. Zoned Multi-unit Res.

So much that is RARE about this offering!  Not one but two 120 year old properties in Irvington, with that RARE Community Commercial Zoning which is Zoned Multi-unit Res. That’s right, you can build an apartment complex and a shopping mall, both!  Think of the many possible bussiness possibilities there!  Just set up a 7-Eleven for your tenants’ late-night convenience and your round-the-clock profit!

But that’s not all that makes this place Special.  Look how sleek and streamlined this lot is compared to its dumpy plump neighbors.  And not every lot has a couple of scrapers on it older than your great-grandmother.  Think of all the Residential Income you will generate with these Units sold AS-IS.  Just be sure you do not enter property without Agent present.  No telling what could befall you if you did.  Maybe this is a bad neighborhood; somebody stole the For Sale sign from the agent’s photo.

Here’s what the Googlecam has on your new home!

Definitely an up and coming neighborhood to live in.  There’s your new place with all the palm trees!

So buy this RARE fixer build in the 1800 s! For this much commission, the Agent will stay at the property 24/7 after you move in.  Then you can always enter the property with Agent present.  Always.