Welcome back to another week of Extreme Housing Win, Bay Area Edition!  We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday break and we wish you all a Very Happy New Year if you haven’t been reading us Every Single Day Like You Should Be.

Today’s featured FUBAR hails from the linchpin of higher learning in all of California.  No, not Stanford.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Ms. Snoopy for this bodacious buildout of BOOM in Berzerkely!

1068 CRAGMONT Ave
Berkeley, CA 94708
$399,000

4 Beds 
3 Baths 
2,129 Sq. Ft.
$187 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959 
Lot Size: 8,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 20 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Berkeley Hills
MLS#: 40598550
Style: Craftsman
View: Bay
County: Alameda

If You Love Natural Light, You will Fall in Love w/ the “VIEWS” of this home. This is definitely a HOME IMPROVEMENT house in the workings! NEEDS a lot of TLC.

Here’s Ms. Snoopy’s nominating speech for this front-page folly:

According to the agent, this one “NEEDS a lot of TLC.” I guess “TLC” in realtard speak now means drywall, doors, and ceilings. But the agent is right that you will get “lots of natural light” due to the fact that there are no walls.

Love your site!

No walls?  That means plenty of fresh air as well!  Plus fresh water.

And plenty of nature, both animal and plant kingdoms, free to surprise you day or night.

Would you look at those VIEWS!!!!!

We hope you had a wonderful winter whatever and got all the toys you asked for.  But just in case you didn’t, we have some close-out specials for the end of the year!  Today, Burbed reader J from Alameda has some Island High Style for you.

828 LINCOLN Ave
Alameda, CA 94501
$249,000

1 Beds
1 Baths
561 Sq. Ft.
$444 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959
Lot Size: 1,275 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 76 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Cottage
Community: Alameda
MLS#: 40592515

MOST UNIQUE NARROW BLDG. 150 FEET DEEP, FENCED IN LOT, BACKYARD PATIO, RESIDENTIAL (NEW ZONING R-4 RESIDENTIAL) POSSIBLE ART STUDIO PLUS GALLERY, LIVING IN AND WORK ON COMPUTERS, ANOTHER POSSIBILITY, SO MANY POSSIBILITIES OF HOME OFFICES. CLOSE TO BUS AND ALL TRANSPORTATION AND NEAR WEBSTER STREET.

Here’s why J thought we’d be interested in this offering:

My Alameda black Friday nomination. Do not be fooled by first photo – its the narrow yellow building to the right. On a very busy street, not a great part of town. That maybe, just maybe, can be zoned commercial.

Happy Shopping!

Wait, Black Friday was last month…. oh, this was sent in last month.  That says we can’t possibly be in the RBA, because it’s still on the market!  So hurry before it isn’t!

And if you have any doubts that this listing is “MOST UNIQUE” at least the lot itself is.

Bunus: the broker has the same name as a famous television personality.  Double Bunus: also the same name as a VP at Alain Pinel, Saratoga, just to really confuse the customers.  (Plus 3 more real estate agents in California alone.)

Who likes a nice, hot breakfast? Okay, who likes a nice, hot fresh breakfast? No mawbul kawlums, but this listing is only 11 days up, and what a history!  Our thanks to Burbed reader waiting for the fall for this nice nest in Newark!

Yes, even houses in Newark are going pending in a week.  What can we say? The bubbly is BACK!

35726 HALEY St
Newark, CA 94560
$389,000

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,100 Sq. Ft.
$354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 6,000 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 11 days
Status: Pending
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Contemporary
Community: Newark
MLS#: 40597759

Completely renovated; Charming single story home; Updated kitchen with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops; Brand new flooring and carpet; Freshly painted inside and out; New roofing; Large driveway; Beautiful deck with covered patio for outdoor parties.

Here’s why wftf sent this reverse snout-house in.

Check out this house in Newark.  It’s been flipped more than a pancake!

When we make pancakes, we only have to flip them once.  And they stay flipped.

Stainless and granite.  In Newark.  We’re thinking if they’re going to decorate like it’s 2005, maybe they should price it like it’s 2005 too.

Yesterday we showcased the cheapest house we could find in Napa County.  Today we continue with our vineyard labors.  Except, we’re late to the grape-stomping.  Burbed reader JL sent this one in a couple months ago and we’re only now getting to it.  We apologize to all our readers who would have bought this house instantly if only we had featured it sooner.

18069 VINEYARD Rd
Castro Valley, CA 94546
Sold for $475,000

4 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,991 Sq. Ft.
$239 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1960 
Lot Size: 10,125 Sq. Ft. 
Sold On: Nov 16, 2012
Status: Sold
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Castro Valley
MLS#: 40589131
Style: Contemporary
View: Valley
County: Alameda

Beautiful upper Castro Valley home with a great private backyard that has valley views. The property has a new roof, interior doors, paint, carpet, laminate flooring, and other miscelaneous improvements recently performed. A must see!!

Here’s why JL shared this house with us.

This one is not all that notable, other than that it’s a really ugly house. But the street view REALLY sells it.

Of course it’s notable! It’s on a street with a name straight out of Napa County, which makes us wonder why the trellis is so bare. 

Yet like yesterday’s home, the photographer gives us some of those artistic stairway views.  Plus the kitchen shot is completely awesome, that is if by awesome we actually mean another word that starts with “aw.”

The street view, you say?

Indeed.  These must be the “other miscelaneous improvements.”

We’re not just having Black Friday deals, we’ve got the cheapest housing all throughout the Bay!  Today we’re looking for the cheapest house in Alameda County.

Think you can’t afford a house? Boom. You could buy this one and still have enough left over for… oh… ANOTHER HOUSE.  The argument e-store is now offline.

1351 91ST Ave
Oakland, CA 94603
$39,888

1 Beds 
1 Baths 
634 Sq. Ft.
$63 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1927 
Lot Size: 2,725 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 5 days
Status: New
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Traditional
Community: Oakland
MLS#: 40596586

Nice started home, good for investor. Bring your offers

That’s right! Bring it!  When you do, maybe you can figure out what’s in the structure in the back and why the roof looks, um, distressed.

They did say it was a nice started home. You just have to figure out what they started.  But look on the bright side.  It’s a gated community!

It’s a new month, Spring Bounce is just around the corner, and the Real Bay Area continues to be awesome sauce.  But what about those outside the Zone of Ever-Climbing Real Estate Values? Let’s check in with Burbed reader J from Alameda, who found something in the treat bag for us.

1315 Court St
Alameda, CA 94501
$970,000

Loan Payment:  $3,377/mo
Bedrooms:  4
Bathrooms:  4&1/2
Size:  3,193 sqft
$/Sqft:  $303/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1905
Lot Size:  4,000
Days on Movoto:  14 days
MLS#:  40593343
Status:  Active

Beautiful Remodel. New Kitchen with Granite and SS appliance. Shining New Bathrooms remodeled w/ Marble. Elegant Dark Engineered wood floors. New Plush Carpet. New Paint Inside & Out. New Roof. All make this property shine. Open House Sat 1-4

Good news! We’d hoped a house that’s 107 years old would have at least one appliance eligible for Social Security.  Better buy it quick before Congress decides to implement Dishwasher Death Panels.  We hope the paneling will match the engineered floors.

Here’s what J thought about this property:

Here is a question to ponder: investor buys house. Puts some money into it. Then ups the price – was it $400,000? No, more. Be that as it may, for that huge profit, do you think they could hire a real photographer? One with a clean lens (photo 9)? Who can take a bathroom photo without appearing in it (photo 10)? This is in a lovely neighborhood but I predict it will sit. Something about that 3,000+ sf house on a 4,000 sf lot does not bode well.

It looks like its raining in photo 9.

It’s raining instant equity!  Bunus: Buy this house for almost a million dollars and you get to choose whatever washer and dryer you want!  That’s right, hookups only.  Super Bunus: Zillow sez: “This home is done! Just move in your belongings!”  Laundry appliances are belongings, too.

It’s Monday, and you know what that means! Time for more listing #winning!  Let’s start the work week with this Castro Valley catastrophe, which will have someone feeling castrated about yet another home selling shortly.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader JL for sending this house in, especially because we really need more East Bay listings.  To poop on!

If you’ve had an eye on a home of dubious virtue, and you’re thinking it belongs on Burbed, please send it to one of the email addresses in the upper right corner.  You’ll be glad you did!

4777 NOREE Ct
Castro Valley, CA 94546
$499,000

4 Beds 
2 Baths 
2,125 Sq. Ft.
$235 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1971 
Lot Size: 5,002 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 46 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
County: Alameda
Style: Contemporary
Community: Castro Valley
MLS#: 40589048

Roomy and inviting upper valley home in the Vannoy Elementary area. Large livingroom with fireplace plus a dining area. Bedroom and full bath on ground level. Large kitchen overlooks attached FR and rear decks. Inside laundry. Attached two car garage. Storage galore!! Quiet cul-de-sac location.

Here’s why JL nominated this house for some good ol’ Burbed lovin’.

Lovely staging. Needs more flags! Love the confederate flag on the bed of this one.

Wow, that is indeed a Confederate flag.  Should we tip the owner that California entered the Union as a Free State?  Maybe that’s why they took it down while they looked for another wall that didn’t have so many flags on it.

So, come to this listing for the standards, stay for the Burbed Housekeeping Seal of Approval! 

Evident pride of ownership starts in slowly with this listing but continues to build as you make your way through the photos.  Click on through to see what we mean.

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Thought all those problems with toxic groundwater and Superfund site cleanup was in the past? Guess again.

Turns out that parts of Mountain View are still dealing with problems from the TCE from not one but two different plumes.  What kind of problems?  Well, a higher incidence of non-Hodgkin Lymphoma than expected, according to the California Cancer Registry.

Now MEW can mean two different realty problems. Not only does it stand for Mortgage Equity Withdrawal, it also is an acronym for Middlefield-Ellis-Whisman, the area the EPA is monitoring for vapor intrusion.  You see, there is too such a thing as being on the Wrong Side of Middlefield.

TCE (Tricoroethylene), a cleaning solvent that’s been sitting in the ground since the early days of the semiconductor industry, is the apparent culprit.  Oh yeah, and the military dumped it as well.  Vapor intrusion is when these chemicals lead to outgassing into buildings over the TCE plume in the ground.  Researchers note it’s difficult to clean up because the area near Moffett Field is made up of… well, mud. 

There is good news.  The plume is migrating toward the Bay, away from residences.  There’s also bad news: the plume is migrating toward the Bay.

Do you live near any of these problem areas, or know someone who does? How much would you overbid for the opportunity to meet cute EPA scientists or cancer researchers?

Or if this topic is way too depressing for you, talk about anything you’d like in this Open Thread.  When you’re not worried about getting cancer from TCE, there’s always the Fantasy Slut League, coming to a high school near you!

Today’s featured home was sent in by Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall.  We’re delighted to receive it, not only because this is the first contribution from this long-time regular we’ve seen in a while (or maybe even ever), but also because it’s from a part of the Bay Area we don’t cover as often as Silicon Valley.  This house is in the East Bay, and a part we don’t get too many nominations for, and best of all, it’s selling for less than not a lot of money.

Remember, if a house is in Northern California, it too can be Burbable!  Send your favorites on in to one of the email addresses in the upper right corner.

8633 Briarwood Ln
Dublin, CA 94568
$425,000

Zestimate® $406,121
Est. Mortgage $1,489/mo
Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sqft: 1,338
Lot: 7,649 sq ft / 0.18 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1963
On Zillow: 1030 days
MLS #: 40562786
View Virtual Tour (opens new tab)

This is a four bedroom/two bathroom home with 1338 sq. ft. The roof is approximately nine years old and Dual Pane Windows throughout. Plus Converted garage into a large beautiful family room w/storage. The living room has a gas burning fireplace. Huge private backyard with a large patio and tall trees. RV Access Parking is a PLUS!

Here’s what wftf said when sending us this place:

Will you please check out the price fluctuations on this craptastic house?  It made me dizzy reading the wild price gyrations on zillow.
And it is pending!

I give up.  The banks are winning.

Did you know you can’t spell wftf without wtf?  Because wtf is definitely the best reaction to the price gyrations on Zillow.

So is this house in the Real Bay Area or isn’t it?  It more than doubled in the ten years between 1996 and 2005, but then… not so much.  Since buying this house for 630 big ones, the current owner has tried listing it at $674K just two years later, and then started throwing prices at the wall seeing if any of them would stick.  Not sticking in addition to $674K were just under $600K (with lucky 8s!!!), reducing it to $429K (just 3 months later). 

Price goes down, price goes up.  Plus at least four different agents, at four different brokers.  It all adds up to an eyepopping over thousand day old listing!

Then again, perhaps this lovely room is what’s keeping the buyers away, since it appears to have girl cooties.

Our pleas have been heard!  A couple of weeks ago, when posting the nine kajillionth house in Mountain View “close to Google,” we asked for homes that were not in the hot, hot, hot Mountain View/Palo Alto area.  And Burbed reader JL has delivered, with this attractive attached abode in Alameda.  Yes, Alameda, as in the island in Alameda County.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you about this one, because we certainly did.

2909 BAYVIEW Dr
Alameda, CA 94501
$465,000

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,716 Sq. Ft.
$271 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964
Lot Size: 3,051 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 10 days
Type: Duet
Stories: 2
Community: Alameda
MLS#: 40590093
Style: Contemporary
View: Water
County: Alameda

Open – Sunday, Sept 23rd, 2 – 3 pm only. A 4 bedroom single-family attached home situated on a quiet lagoon, close to the beach and walking path. TLC needed for this contemporary home.

So far, nothing too alarming here, other than this “duet home” having a garage door face-off.  One looks like a paint sampler and one doesn’t.  One has a peaked roof feature and one doesn’t.  The windows and shutters aren’t matched either.

Guess our standards shouldn’t be so high when buying a house directly from the bank instead of through a pesky owner.

So first, let’s first admire that Water view we were promised.

Delightful!  Ready to see the inside of the house?  Sure you are.  You may need to take a minute to adjust your eyes from the bright sun glinting off the water.  We’ll give you a brief rest by making you click through to see them, and many more pictures!

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