Last Sunday this site feature Forbes’ list of America’s Top 25 Towns To Live Well (and have easy access to VC’s).

Of course the Bay Area took 5 spots on that list. Is it any surprise? It’s the Top 25 Towns To Live Well (and have easy access to VCs). The Bay Area is so special that it deserves to be in the list.

But sadly, #1 was taken by a non-Bay Area city. Let’s take a look at what a typical Bay Area house buys you in that #1 city…

352 Balsam Ln, Boulder, CO, 80304 – MLS ID#592543 – Single Family Home real estate – REALTOR.com®

Yeesh. I certainly wouldn’t want to live there. Would you?

(Any Boulder experts want to confirm whether this is in a top Boulder neighborhood?)

As mentioned on Sunday, we’re going to have a shoot out between two tony areas: Saratoga, CA and Port Washington, NY. Today, we wrap up with Port Washington:

60 Beacon Hill Rd, Port Washington, NY 11050 | MLS# 2176980
60 Beacon Hill Rd Port Washington, NY 11050
Price: $1,089,000

Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: -
Lot Size: -
Property Type: Residential, Detached
Style: Split
Year Built: 1955
Community: Beacon Hill
County: Nassau
MLS#: 2176980
Source: MLSLI
Status: New
On Redfin: 20 days
Bright, Spacious Beacon Hill Fieldstone And Brick Home Set On Beautiful Property Offers 4 Br, 3 Bths, Renovated Kitchen. Beach & Tennis Rts. W/ Assoc. Fee. Convenient To All.

(Just as a note, in this region, it doesn’t seem to be custom to provide the square footage of the home. I don’t understand that. Also, the lot is 12,314 sqft feet.)

Now, at first you might say… “Gosh, yesterday’s Saratoga house seems to be a bit overpriced, considering that it is the same price and is a tear down”, but once you see the demographics of this neighborhood, you’ll understand why that kind of thinking is wrong:

The median income for a household in the CDP was $85,837, and the median income for a family was $102,646.

Ouch. It kind of makes sense though. Just look at the notable residents:

* Bobby Ojeda, Lenny Dykstra, Darryl Strawberry, Ron Darling, Dwight Gooden, Sid Fernandez, Ed Hearn, Rick Aguilera, David Cone, Keith Miller, Roger McDowell and about half of the 1986 Mets all used to live in Port Washington during their time with the New York Mets.[3][4]
* Jack Aker, baseball player
* Marv Albert, sportscaster
* Carlos Beltran, New York Mets baseball player
* Len Berman, TV newsanchor
* Frances Hodgson Burnett, author
* Doug Block, film director
* John Cassavetes, (1929-1989), actor and director.[5]
* Jerry Colonna, venture capitalist and business coach
* Perry Como (1912-2001), entertainer.[6]
* Carl G. Fisher (1874-1939), built the Indianapolis Speedway, developed Miami Beach and Montauk, Long Island
* Fontaine Fox, cartoonist and creator of Toonerville Folks
* Leroy Grumman
* W. Averell Harriman (1891-1986), diplomat, Governor of New York
* Estelle Harris
* Craig Johnson, member of the New York State Senate
* Walter Kaner, journalist and philanthropist
* Jeff Kent, former baseball player
* Marian McPartland, jazz pianist
* Kevin McReynolds, retired New York Mets baseball player
* Jean Ritchie, famed Appalachian Dulcimer player
* Mike Scott, retired baseball player
* John Philip Sousa, conductor
* George Vecsey, New York Times sports reporter and author
* Turk Wendell, former New York Mets baseball player
* Mark Wood, electric violinist

Baseball players? Marv Albert? John Philip Sousa? Sheesh… how much money could these guys make compared to an engineer at Facebook?

Well… now you have it. Saratoga is officially a better deal. Because it’s in the Bay Area. And that makes it special.

Debate solved.

Too bad Port Washington. Too bad.

91809 Makule Rd, Ewa Beach, HI, 96706 – MLS ID#2902663 – Single Family Home real estate – REALTOR.com®

91809 Makule Rd  Ewa Beach, HI 96706
$559,000
4 Bed, 3 Bath | 1,621 Sq Ft on 0.12 Acres (5,337 Sq Ft Lot) |
MLS ID #2902663

Ok, I don’t know much about Hawaii honestly – but I figured given all the references in yesterday’s post, I should take a look.

Hm… you could live in Montara beach for $980 per square foot in a 560 sqft cottage, or you could live at Ewa Beach in Oahu for $344 per square foot.

Tough choices. But at the end of the day, only one of them is in the Bay Area – and hint it is not Hawaii.

Now that I think about, gosh am I surprised at how cheap it is to live in Hawaii! But then again, shouldn’t there be a big discount for a place where people have to hoard toilet paper periodically?

Scary indeed!

School District Tries to Lure Asian Parents – NYTimes.com
For school officials here, the numbers did not add up. Even as enrollment swelled to 3,200, from 2,600 a decade ago, attendance at Parent-Teacher Association meetings shriveled by half. Even as more students got accepted to Ivy League schools, turnout for the guidance department’s information nights was so anemic that counselors cajoled students to come — and bring along their parents.

Then teachers and administrators noticed something else: Jericho High School’s 90-member orchestra had become 70 percent Asian-American (the student body over all is about 30 percent Asian-American), but it still played for a mostly white audience at concerts with many empty seats.

The Chinese and Korean families that flocked to Jericho for its stellar schools shared their Jewish and Italian predecessors’ priorities on excellent education. But the new diversity of the district has revealed a cultural chasm over the meaning of parental involvement. Many of the Asian-Americans whose children now make up a third of the district’s enrollment grew up in places where parents showed up on campus only when their children were in trouble.

Holy moley! Is Jericho High School in New York trying to steal the thunder from Monta Vista, Cupertino, and Lynbrook? This calls for a Burbed investigation!

Where is this Jericho?

Got it. It’s 30 miles from Wall St (heh).

Next, let’s look at the rankings:

The complete list of the 1,300 top U.S. high schools

20      Jericho      Jericho      N.Y.      5.477      0.7      77.3
83      Gunn      Palo Alto      Calif.      3.813      6.1      74.7
147      Monta Vista      Cupertino      Calif.      3.166      1.1      72.6
187      Mission San Jose      Fremont      Calif.      2.877      3      75.1
337      Palo Alto      Palo Alto      Calif.      2.356      5      60.4
362     Lynbrook     San Jose     Calif.     2.297     1     61
650      Homestead      Cupertino      Calif.      1.784      8.5      33.1

(Cupertino High did not appear on the page… nor did any Sunnyvale schools strangely…)

Oh… well… I guess they have good schools after all. But let’s look at the weakness – I’ve found the cheapest 4-5 bedroom house in the Jericho school district:

JERICHO, NY 11753
Taxes: $9,551
List Price:  $595,000

SEC/AREA: Old Jericho
Raised Ranch,  Detached, # Families: 1
10.0 rooms,  5 Bedrooms , 2 Full Baths

School District: Jericho
Year Built: 1953
Construction: Brk/Vinyl
Lot Size: 75 X 96
Appearance: Excellent

Located In Jericho Sd#15 This Is The Perfect Home For Large Or Extended Family. Main Lvl-Gleaming Hardwood Floors, Freshly Painted.2nd Fl-2 Sun Filled Brs, Bth, And 2 Additional Rms.Full Bsmt, Gar, Great Yard, Convienent To Rr, Parkways, & Shopping.Taxes Do Not Include $821.68 Star Exemption.

Did you spot it? Did you see the weakness? Did you see the dirty secret that every Bay Area resident knows about the New York area?

Look at the property tax. It is insane! The percentage is double that of the Bay Area! No wonder everyone is flocking here! Think about it! If you bought that $595,000, 5 br/2ba excellent condition house, with a Top 20 high school, if you stayed for 30 years, you would end up paying $454,392in property tax (assumes 3% growth)

On the other hand, if you bought yesterday’s amazingly cheap Monta Vista house…

… after 30 years you would only pay $373,226. That’s savings of $81,166. No wonder smart people buy in The Real Bay Area, and not New York.

All you have to do is spend $325,000 extra for a fixer up – and then you’ll save $81,166 after 30 years. If you stay for 50 years, you’ll save $316,300!

If that math doesn’t make sense to, you aren’t smart enough to live in the Real Bay Area. Sorry.

So yesterday, we saw what $695,000 buys you in the world famous Cupertino – with its best of Bay Area schools:

Remember! Free fridge! Remove it before you knock the house down!

As is tradition, let’s take a look at what roughly the same amount of money will buy you in another equivalent school district:

TENAFLY, NJ 07670

$679,000
($3,806 per month | Personalize this estimate | Check local mortgage rates)
4 Bed, 3 Bath |
MLS ID #2830900
96 days on this site

Property Information Save Listing
Move right in this spacious 4 Bdrm./2 full Bath home on a desirable street & enjoy the best schools in the state. Renovated EIKit & Baths 2-car garage w/ paver driveway. Central A/C Finished basement complete w/ full bath & galley Kit. with access to private back yard. Excellent for extended family or professional office. Seller will hold Mtge. for Qualified Buyer.
Property Features

*   Single Family Property
* Status: Active
* Area: TENAFLY
* 4 total bedroom(s)
* 3 total bath(s)
* 3 total full bath(s)
* Style: Colonial
* Fireplace(s)
* 2 car garage
* Heating features: Gas, Hot air
* Central air conditioning
* Exterior construction: Clapboard

Now, let’s face it – you could get a 4/3 for the price of a 0/0 here but be honest – just look at the economy. NY City is shedding millions of jobs. In fact, they expect the NYC metro area to lose 20 million jobs because of the Wall St fiasco – the same Wall St fiasco that destroyed the housing market in California by tricking us using their NY fast talking skills into taking bad mortgages.

On the other hand, Silicon Valley is completely immune from this down turn. Heck, while I was writing this, 22 new social networking virtualization mobile companies popped up.

So there you go – big house in nation’s best school district with job uncertainty, or a house that has to be torn down in the Bay Area’s best school district with guaranteed jobs?

It’s an easy choice if you ask me.

Millions spend half of income on housing – Yahoo! News

In San Francisco, more than one out of five homeowners with a mortgage spends half or more of their income on housing.

That’s also true in 13 more of the largest 100 metro areas analyzed by the Associated Press. Other places include California metro areas of Stockton, Los Angeles, Riverside, Oxnard-Thousand Oaks, San Francisco, and San Diego. Also in the top 10 are the Fort Myers, Sarasota and Orlando metro areas in Florida, and New York-Northern New Jersey-Long Island.

But the most cost-burdened homeowners in the country live the Miami-Fort Lauderdale-Miami Beach metro area: 58 percent of homeowners spending 30 percent of their income on housing costs, and 29 percent spending half of their income or more on housing.

Sigh. It’s nice that we got an honorable mention – but still I’m dismayed that we’re not in the Top 5.

We can do better. I know we can. Perhaps next year.

So yesterday we saw what $1.2 million buys you in the Bay Area’s best school district:

Let’s look at a house in what some claim is Burbed’s city of obsession in the East Coast:

Single Family Home – TENAFLY, NJ, 07670 – Realtor.com

Wow. Is it any wonder why the message boards are full of threads about people wanting to leave New Jersey and it’s best in nation school districts?

My god.

Just look at that bloat. You spend $1.2 million and you get 3425 sqft of waste. What are you going to do with that space? How will you be incented to work anymore? You’ll probably just want to sit at home and relax all the time.

And just think about those taxes in New Jersey. That’s right! They have a state income tax of 8.97% if you make more than $500,000. Which, of course, nearly all of Burbed’s readers do. (It’s only 6.37% if you make $75k-$500k. You might as well get food stamps if you do!) And no taxes on clothing!

Then there’s the lack of any good schools in the area. Do they have Cal or Stanford? DUH of course not. All they have is Princeton, and maybe Columbia. Are those schools known for anything?

When you put it all together, it makes sense why people are fleeing New Jersey for low tax destinations California all the time. Just the idea of living in 3425 sqft taxes my mind!

UPDATE: Edited the title.

34 cities where it’s still better to rent – Rentals – MSN Real Estate
Hit worst would be home buyers in San Jose, Calif., the nation’s priciest market. By the study’s calculations, anyone who bought a low-priced home there with a 6% loan could be $355,000 in the hole in 2012. (A low-priced home was defined as 75% of the area’s current median price.)

In San Francisco, you stand to lose around $254,000 in the next four years, according to the study; in Honolulu, $115,000; in Seattle, $108,000; in Washington, D.C., $81,000; and Boston, $28,000.

<snip>

Projected equity in 2012 …

Metro area	6% loan	7% loan	8% loan
San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara, Calif.	-355,346	-361,381	-366,603
San Francisco-Oakland-Fremont, Calif.	-253,875	-259,684	-264,711
Los Angeles-Long Beach-Santa Ana, Calif.	-222,719	-227,598	-231,820
Oxnard-Thousand Oaks-Ventura, Calif.	-203,481	-208,464	-212,776
Bridgeport-Stamford-Norwalk, Conn.	-183,685	-187,931	-191,605
San Diego-Carlsbad-San Marcos, Calif.	-157,371	-161,798	-165,629
Honolulu	-114,657	-119,323	-123,360
Stockton, Calif.	-109,757	-112,775	-115,386
Seattle-Tacoma-Bellevue, Wash.	-108,427	-111,496	-114,151
Sacramento-Arden-Arcade-Roseville, Calif.	-107,621	-110,772	-113,499
New York-North New Jersey-Long Island, N.Y.-Pennsylvania*	-102,428	-106,287	-109,625

Ouchers. This begs the question: why does the MSM (Main Street Media) hate the Bay Area so much? Is it out of sheer jealousy? Do they hate the players, not the game?

I wanted to beat New York, but this wasn’t quite what I had in mind!

I think we need a Proposition to fix this fast!

1036 Harlan Dr, San Jose 95129 (Berryessa)
$1,288,000

* Status: Active
* Bedroom: 4
* Bathroom: 2
* Year Built: 1967
* Lot Size: 7344
* Square Footage: 1843
* List Date: 5/20/2008
* Garage Spaces: 2
* MLS#: 810140

Totally remodeled home in the top Cupertino Schools: Dilworth/Miller/Lynbrook(walking distance), double pane windows, granite kitchen/bathroom counters, new maple cabinets in kitchen and bathroom , new flooring through out the house, new paint in&out, gated front door for privacy , beautiful backyard with durable fiber deck, copper plumbing, new light fixture. Quality Dura-style home.

Top congrats to 95129 for continuing to break new appreciation ground, and proving once and for all that there is no slump in the Real Bay Area. Let’s look at the Zillow:

Just look at that! Since the “slump” (which btw is a fiction of your imagination), prices have actually gone up nearly $300k! If you had bought when everyone was saying “OMG, don’t buy”, you would’ve made out like a bandit. This proves that it’s either a seller’s market or a buyer’s market. You simply can’t lose when you buy a house that’s in the Dilworth/Miller/Lynbrook district!

Not only that, but this house is Dura-style much like the famed Ford Duratec engine.

Everyone grows up wanting to live in a million dollar house, to show that they have made it. And if you buy this house today, you can show to to the world that you’ve made it – and not only that, but you’ll be surrounded intimately by other millionaires:

What? Don’t tell me you’d rather live like those phony millionaire savages do-nothing-hedge-funders in Connecticut do:

Gah, talk about anti-social.

UPDATE: Readers like mrbogue have pointed out that if you buy this house, you will also solve our smog problem! Just check out the sky this house comes with:

Too bad this new sky will eat your trees…

It’s Friday the 13th! And in honor of this day, let’s take a look at what could happen if a streak of bad luck happened to us – Austin, TX and cheap housing:

4508 Sharpshinned Hawk Cv
Austin, TX 78738

$500,000
4 Bed, 3.5 Bath
3,365 Sq. Ft.
0.24 Acres
Estimated Payment:

$2,337 Per Month*
Single Family Property, Area: LS, Subdivision: Spillman Ranch, Falconhead, County: Travis, Approximately 0.24 acre(s), Year Built: 2003, Golf course view, Two story, Central air conditioning, Fireplace(s), Dining room, Office

This, my friends, is the kind of nightmare that the Bay Area may become if we don’t all do our parts to keep house prices high. Think about it – if you could buy a house like this in the Bay Area for $500k, what incentive would you have to continue to work and foster the amazing innovations that Silicon Valley is famous for.

No, you’d probably become fat, lazy, and do nothing but sit around and eat Amy’s Ice Cream all day like they do in Austin. Austin defenders will point out that they have a tech industry there – just look at Dell. Do that, I say “Yeah, just look at Dell and how they’re falling apart compared to HP.” The only reason HP is succeeding is because of their top talent here in the Bay Area.

Do you want to be around only healthy skinny people? Bay Area.

Do you want to be around only smart and well educated people? Bay Area.

Do you want to get paid insanely great salaries and have amazing stock options that will make you rich? Bay Area.

Do you want access to sushi and great food – not just grits and ‘Q? Bay Area.

Do you want to enjoy 400 days a year of great weather? Bay Area.

Do you want cheap mansions that will make you fat, dumb, poorly paid, pay low taxes, and die in the heat? Austin.

’nuff said.

(Note to Austin readers: I’m sorry for the harsh words. But your cheap housing really disgusts me. That said, Amy’s ice cream was pretty awesome. The fact that you can get it at the airport is great too.)