Yeah, we’re still Taken with this Blogging from A To Z Challenge, and if you don’t like it, Too bad. Um, we mean ‘Twill be all over next week. So let’s find That Typical Burbed post, where we contrast Things that don’t go Together. 

Today we’re Twist Terrific Terroir with Tired, dare we say Tortured listing photos? Let’s Take a Trip to Tiburon!

24 Red Hill Cir
Tiburon, CA 94920
$950,000

HOA Dues: $423/mo.
2 Beds
2 Baths
1,574 Sq. Ft.
$604 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1990
Lot Size: 701 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 38 days
HOA Dues: $423/month
Style: Contemporary
View: Bay, Forest/Woods, Greenbelt, Hills, Lights, Mountains, Panoramic, Water
County: Marin
Property Type: Residential, Attached, Condominium/Coop/Other
Stories: Split-Level
Community: Tiburon
MLS#: 21305218

Highly desired Red Hill Circle. One way, private street. All prior sales minimum $1,000,000+ without upgrades or any remodeling done. Views are spectacular of Richardson Bay to Sausalito with full silhouette of Mt. Tam. Lots of entertaining and happiness here.

If all The prior Transactions were in seven digits, Then what The heck is wrong with This place? It can’t be just The Terrible pix, because There’s proof That There’s little To Tamp Bay Area Bubble 4.0 This Time!  Remember, buy now or be priced out forever!

Bunus: can you find The DHO in photo #19 (the last one)? Without upgrades or any remodeling done!

As we move Into the second week of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, we note that some letters are Indeed more Inconsiderable than others. We Imagined X to Induce Irritation. But what’s a good I for a Bay Area place name? There’s the Irvington district of Fremont, but we’ve been showing Fremont waaaaaay too much Burbed love lately.

Fortunately, an Inch further north Inducts more I’s without Invading Sonoma County. Yes, I is for Inverness.  And a few other Items. 

12641 Sir Francis Drake Blvd
Inverness, CA 94937
$519,750

4 Beds
3 Baths
1,939 Sq. Ft.
$268 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1977
Lot Size: 3.13 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Inverness
MLS#: 21307625
Style: Contemporary
View: Bay, Hills
County: Marin

Bank Owned Bargain! Classic views of Tomales Bay and the countryside beyond from this two level home with three beds and two baths upstairs, and one bed, bath and living room downstairs with separate entrance. Don’t miss the loft storage areas too! Nestled on over three acres, this home needs a little TLC to be a perfect retreat, ideally located near the Point Reyes National Seashore. Don’t miss out on this wonderful opportunity!

Ideally located! But when the front Image Is of anything other than the Indicated Inhabitance, there’s a reason for the Inhibition. And speaking of the Impossible to Itemize letter X, just look what’s In the sky In both these Images.

Do you need more Impetus to buy this house Immediately? The Zestimate is $962K, while eppraisal comes In at an Illustrious $1.15 million!

Inquire now and Indulge In the Instant equity for Infinity!

Let’s say you built a super expensive, fancy-schmancy custom one-of-a-kind house on a spectacular view lot and had a bunch of designers each decorate a different room in the place to make it Extra Super Mega Special. Then you ran a charity fundraiser by calling it a Designer Showcase and listed the place for $45 million.  And of course you list it with Sotheby’s.

And yet, let’s say this drop-dead-gorgeous spec palace did not find a buyer for $45 million (or, we assume, anywhere near that vicinity) when it was first listed this February.  What do you do?

You could cut the price ten million or so.  And it looks like that was tried as well, as the most recent price last week is $35.88M.  And yet, the house is still sitting there, all lonely on its double lot and intense blue skies obtained with the finest Photoshop filters.  What’s the next step to avoiding serious financial fail?

In this case, the solution (or at least the next attempt at avoiding a catastrophe) is to put the house up for auction.  The starting price will be $25 million.  At least one website actually states this is going to result in the home selling for last February’s price.

Alas, we missed the preview yesterday afternoon.  But the auction will be on December 30th, giving you plenty of time to contact the right people and get yourself in on the fun.

Redfin won’t disclose the address, but we sure will: 425 Belvedere Ave, Belvedere.  You’re welcome.

Click the image at right to see the home’s brochure and many more pictures in tones of sapphire and sunset.  You can also drool all over the home’s website if the brochure isn’t enough house porn for you.

So, is the market bubble over already, or did the home builders simply overreach with a $45 million ask?  What do you expect the place to fetch at auction?  Is the opening $25 million minimum sufficient to move this mess?

We’re continuing our DEALS DEALS DEALS all week long!  As we work our way further and further from our usual comfort zone, we’ll be visiting the entire Bay Area, or at least every county. 

Today we stop off at the one with a serious diversity shortage.  Yes, we’re talking Marin County, where diversity means there’s a redhead in your kid’s class.  And we’ve found you the absolute cheapest house in Marin.

57 Ocean View Ave
Dillon Beach, CA 94929
$275,000

Price 
2
Beds 
1
Baths  680 Sq. Ft.
$404 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1927  Lot Size: 1,830 Sq. Ft.  On Redfin: 351 days Status: Active
Property Type
Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories
1
County
Marin
Style
Cottage
Community
Dillon Beach
MLS#
21131349

One level, no stairs.

Four pictures, no trash.

1,830 square foot lot. Wow. When someone said they weren’t making any more land, guess whoever owned this property said, “Nuh uh! I’m going to build a bunch of tiny shacks and sell them on 1/9 acre lots and I’ll be rich, rich!”

Now if you want to be rich, rich as well, you had better start buying up property in Marin now.  Because right now certain neighborhoods in San Francisco are ultra-hot with all those well-paid high-tech engineers and social media purveyors and game-engine optimizers.  Now what do you think is going to happen when these people get married and have kids?

Well, nothing.  But what do you think is going to happen when their oldest kids start turning four? They’re going to be out the door to the land of Safe Public Schools in time to register for Kindergarten. Watch Marin values skyrocket then.  You read it here first.

Remember, a little of something is better than renting a lot of nothing.  And today’s Black Friday Deal is about as little as you can get.  But it’s a little sliver 600 feet from the beach… and a little less of a walk every day!

It’s been far too long since we’ve checked in with Burbed reader Tom Paine.  Tom’s found us a new manse in Northern Marin!  Thanks!

188 Caribe Isle
Novato, CA 94949
$450,000

SHORT SALE
1 Story Detached
0 bedroom
– bathrooms
Finished Sq Ft: 1,824 sq ft
Lot Size: 0.22 acres
Year Built: 1964
48 years old
Type: 1 Story Detached
Style: Contemporary
Taxes: —
Subdivision: Novato
Stories: 1
1 PhotoPlay Video
Listed For Sale: 9/13/12
6 Days
$450,000
MLS #21221815

Here’s what Tom had to say when sending us this listing:

No bedrooms.  Nope, no bedrooms. Must be located between two starbucks.

Actually, we think it’s located in a foldspace anomoly, since there’s another house that’s not for sale at the same address, with a positive number of actual BRs and BAs.  We hope the higher dimensional attributes that allow these two homes to exist in superposition are included with the lot, or you’ll need to bring Erwin Schrödinger to help collapse the wave-form at your closing.

188 Caribe Isle
Novato, CA 94949
$882,000 Last Sold Price

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,824 Sq. Ft.
$484 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964
Lot Size: 9,600
Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Jul 23, 2007
Status: Sold
Source: Public Records

No Property Details Available

Sorry, but Redfin currently has no details for this property.

No Agent Insights on This Home

We haven’t left any notes about this home yet, but as soon as we do, we’ll leave our thoughts here.

Sheesh.  Maybe Sawbuck can’t prove there are any bedrooms or bathrooms in this house, but they auto-generate these really thorough videos!  We’re disappointed that the narrator, using the Sawbuck info above, didn’t mention “no bedrooms.”  Or to be more exact, zero.

Let’s take a drive North again, courtesy of Burbed reader Tom Paine.  Tom’s got a real winner for us today, that is if by winner I meant something that is the exact opposite of winner.  So let’s check out this bitchen Bolinas back four thousand!

0 Birch Rd
Bolinas, CA  94924
$14,990

BEDS:  -
BATHS:  -
SQ. FT.:  -
LOT SIZE:  4,008 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Lots & Land, Single Family
COMMUNITY:  Bolinas
COUNTY:  Marin
MLS#:  21214547
SOURCE:  BAREIS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  26 days

Flat lot in Bolinas:Not a buildable site under the current water moratorium and County Septic rules and zoning. For further info:Bolinas Public Utility District at Marin County Planning Environmental Health dept.

Here’s what Tom thinks about buying this lot.

I wonder if you can park your RV there for longer than 24 hours?

Ah, yes, a little slice of property in paradise!  Unfortunately we can’t tell you which slice, as there are several 4,000 square foot lots on Birch near Poplar.  But we can show you how awesome the area is!

And when you look for some of the lots, they look even better!

Booyah!  So are you going to let a little thing like zoning issues and no septic and no water meter stop you from buying here?

Burbed has visited this high-priced peninsula before, but we’ve never reported on a teardown at Hillsborough-with-Baywater.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Pkamp3 for the find.

A $4.2 Million Tear-Down House in Belvedere, California

By ALAN FARNHAM | ABC News – Fri, Jun 29, 2012

In Marin County, California, where people tend to have money, people in Belvedere tend to have more. Even so, a recent decision by Clark and Sharon Winslow of 337 Belvedere Avenue to buy the home next to theirs for $4.2 million — and then tear it down — might seem extraordinary.

It’s not, say locals and real estate professionals.

“There are houses being torn down all the time,” says Bill Smith, realtor and ex-mayor of Belvedere. In neighboring Tiburon, he says, a buyer not long ago paid $20 million for the home of tennis star Andre Agassi and wife Steffi Graf, then announced his plan to raze it.

While the article specifically mentions the house that isn’t being torn down, we’re left to guess which property is getting the extreme makeover.  And we think it’s this one.

Update 9:30 AM: And we are completely wrong.  Burbed reader gallileo provided the evidence that it’s the house on the OTHER side.  Correct info added to end of article, because we hate to waste a good housing rant.

341 Belvedere Ave
Belvedere Tiburon, CA 94920
Sold on 01/14/2000 for $2,100,000

Source: Public Records
BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
FINISHED SQFT: 2,831
UNFINISHED SQFT: -
TOTAL SQFT: 2,831
FLOORS: -
LOT SIZE: 8,400
STYLE: Single Family Residential
YEAR BUILT: 1964
YEAR RENOVATED: 1975
COUNTY: Marin County
APN: 06022128
LAST UPDATED: August 24, 2011

The interesting thing about buying and tearing down a perfectly good house isn’t that someone with way too much cash went ahead and did it.  It’s how much the house was worth in the first place.  Zillow says… ZEstimate of $1,876,100.  Which means the new “owners” spent more than twice what this house may be worth just to make more land.

Yes, the purchasers live in that 9524 square foot housing tumor on the left.  Let’s see what they got for $4.2 million!

Oh yeah.  Perhaps they’ll be tearing down this place next, since it’s blocking their Bay access.  (See #42.  Only 1017 days on Redfin!)

Update: Here is the correct house.  gallileo provides a link to SocketSite with the story, and there’s a further link to a piece in the Marin Independent Journal.  So, without further adieu, the actual house that was purchased for $4.2 million only to be torn down.  That and more, after the break.

(more…)

Bet you’ll never think about the northern Marin city of Novato in the same way after you read this.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this noteworthy news item from the North Bay!

Picasso lithograph stolen from Novato mansion recovered

KTVU.com and Wires, Monday June 11th, 2012

NOVATO, Calif. — A Pablo Picasso lithograph worth $30,000 that was stolen from a Novato mansion owned by former Ukrainian Prime Minister Pavlo Lazarenko was recovered Sunday morning, a Novato police sergeant said.

The framed lithograph, titled "Femme au Chignon," was found around 8:20 a.m. propped against a fence along a curb on Burning Tree Drive by neighbors who were driving to a hiking trail, Sgt. Jennifer Welch said.

"It was placed there to be found," Welch said.

The lithograph is believed to have been taken from the furnished but unoccupied residence at 100 Obertz Lane that is owned by Lazarenko, who was serving time in a federal prison in Los Angeles for conspiracy and money laundering.

What a great story!  Stolen art, a foreigner with suitcases full of cash, and he’s in jail for not doing a better job hiding the suitcases.  Out of control teenfest!  But most important: Show-off mansion!

Holy crap, this HOUSE has almost a half acre of living space!  The tag “ginormous” we use for homes over five thousand square feet simply doesn’t do this one justice.  And while Redfin thinks you want the lot size in square feet, Zillow has the sense to translate it into acres: 11.21 of them.

ZEstimate: $5,052,500.  Rent ZEstimate: $7,045 a month.  That’s a little more house than you can get for that amount in Palo Alto.

Just how many suitcases did the former prime minister have with him?  It better have been worth the nine years in prison.

We hope you are enjoying Burbed’s BLACK FRIDAY DEALS, where we will go to great lengths to find you the absolutely positively least expensive house we can.  Yesterday’s house was a bit of a surprise, being not really a house and not really land for sale and not really the sort of place you’d want to impress your co-workers with.  So today, we’re off to the land of hot tubs and aging hippies with money: Marin County!  How much would you expect the last expensive house to be?

This find was a surprise.  I set my Redfin search for all the houses in Marin County under $200,000 and I found exactly… one.  This one.  And it was for a lot less than $200K, too.

7425 Sir Francis Drake Blvd, Lagunitas, CA 94938
$89,900

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 450
$/SQ. FT.: $200
LOT SIZE: 0.28 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential, Detached, Single Family
STYLE: Cottage
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Forest/Woods, Other
YEAR BUILT: 1920
COMMUNITY: San Geronimo Valley
COUNTY: Marin
MLS#: 21126482
SOURCE: BAREIS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 54 days

Cozy two bedroom cottage nestled amongst the redwoods in beautiful West Marin, just minutes away from some of the best hiking & biking trails Marin has to offer. Private and secluded location, perfect retreat to get away and enjoy nature. Hardwood floors, updated kitchen and claw foot tub. Home is in need of repairs so bring your imagination and hammer!

I don’t think your imagination is necessary at all.  Just bring the (sledge) hammer.

Here’s a one-of-a-kind listing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer, who must fondly remember the days when the Real Bay Area could run as far north as Seattle, or at least San Anselmo.

40 Wolfback Ridge Rd, Sausalito, CA  94965
$995,000

BEDS: –
BATHS: –
SQ. FT.: –
LOT SIZE: 0.66 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Lots & Land, Single Family
VIEW: Bay, Bridges, City, Forest/Woods, Ocean, Panoramic, Park, Valley, Water
COMMUNITY: Sausalito
COUNTY: Marin
MLS#: 21107250
SOURCE: BAREIS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 149 days

This top of the world location sits at nearly 960 feet elevation w/ absolutely incredible views of San Francisco, the mouth of the SF bay & west to the Pacific Ocean, Farallon Islands & sunsets. The lot is a natural penthouse on a private road behind two gates in an exclusive community. It is a very RARE buildable view lot minutes from San Francisco. Don’t be confused-this opp. is better than it looks.

Here’s what PG had to say about this top of the world location:

The world has never been so low.

I think you meant the price of this OPPORTUNITY has never been so low!  Don’t be confused-this opp. is better than it looks.

See?  It even has this free bridge thrown in!  That must be worth a couple thousand for the scrap metal alone!

It’s a natural penthouse on a private road behind two gates in an exclusive community!  What more could you want?

Other than really, really hope the agents with this listing would deign to take your phone calls, assuming you could ever find their unlisted number?