Average Rental Apartment Listing Price

Don’t you wish you had taken my advice every day of every year and purchased already? Look, now you’re priced out of the American Dream of home ownership, and you can’t afford an apartment!

Cardboard boxes for your!

Anyone want to predict what the 2 year over year will be? I’m guess it will be 3500% percent across San Francisco as every single company in SoMA IPOs this year.

3223 20th Street
San Francisco, CA 94110
$650,000

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 2,244
$/SQ. FT.: $290
LOT SIZE: –
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
YEAR BUILT: 1900
COMMUNITY: Inner Mission
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 394741
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Contingent – Show
ON REDFIN: 21 days

Situated in the heart of the Inner Mission (cross-street is Harrison), this spacious and vacant 5BD/2BA home is on the market for the first time in over 50 years! Large one car garage. Rear yard. Just down the street from Flour + Water and close to an amazing variety of other great restaurants, cafes, and shops. Walk-Score = 97. Zoned RH-3, per the city’s 3R report. A great potential development opportunity in one of the city’s warmest and liveliest neighborhoods!

Look, it doesn’t matter how big a turd this building is.  Location, location, location; even if every single piece of hardwood in the entire house ended up in this one room.

How low could those low ceilings be?

If that doorway is standard width, that’s pretty low.

83 McAllister St #305
San Francisco, CA 94102
$215,000

BEDS: 0
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 252
$/SQ. FT.: $853
HOA DUES: $285/month
LOT SIZE: –
PROPERTY TYPE: Condominium, Studio
STYLE: Contemporary
VIEW: City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 2007
COMMUNITY: Van Ness/Civic Center
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 393741
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Pending
ON REDFIN: 52 days

A beautifully restored landmark in the heart of the City’s evolving cultural, arts & entertainment district; built in 1908 & completely remodeled in 2006, The Book Concern Bldg blends classic architecture w/ contemporary loft-style living, featuring anopen interior, artful decor & high ceilings. This corner unit boasts lg windows, fantastic urban outlooks, hdwd flooring, Murphy Bed & stainless steel counter & sink. Laundry facility & fitness center in bldg. Secured bldg w/ electronic access to entry & elevator. Perfect pied-a-terre in the city! Enjoy city living just a few blocks from Union Square, transportation & world-class restaurants & shopping all at your fingertips!

Let’s review some of this listing copy, shall we?

in the heart of the City’s evolving cultural, arts & entertainment district:

The key word here is “evolving,” which means in the realtard’s wildest dreams, this building fronts onto Union Square or the Opera House, but in reality it’s much closer to the stripper bars.

built in 1908 & complete remodeled in 2006

This is an overly creative use of the “YEAR BUILT” field in MLS.  And by “overly creative” I actually mean “pants on fire.”

blends classic architecture w/contemporary loft-style living

Really old building with high ceilings and even higher prices

anopen interior, artful décor & high ceilings

You thought I was joking about the high ceilings?  They just mean it will cost you a fortune to heat or cool the place.

This corner unit

Traffic from TWO different streets!

boasts lg windows, fantastic urban outlooks,

This is the neighborhood for urban outlooks.  Panhandlers, hookers, pimps, drunken bar hoppers, it’s all here!

hdwd flooring, Murphy Bed & stainless steel counter & sink.

Be the star of your own zany movie!

Secured bldg w/ electronic access to entry & elevator.

It’s got locks and a keycard.

Perfect pied-a-terre in the city!

All 252 square feet!  It sure isn’t a pieds-a-terre!

Enjoy city living just a few blocks from Union Square,

A few very important blocks.

transportation & world-class restaurants

If you can walk there safely at night, because the cabs won’t stop here.

& shopping all at your fingertips!

If you have an internet connection, you have shopping all at your fingertips, but don’t let that rain on the Market Street Parade you’re facing in the wrong direction to see from this tiny studio.

Please give Kevin a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Guest Blogger!

73 Toledo Way
San Francisco, CA 94123
$1,850,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,842
$/SQ. FT.: $1,004
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Attached, Full, Modified, Single-Family Home
STYLE: Spanish/Mediterranean
YEAR BUILT: 1925
COMMUNITY: Marina
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 392612
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 86 days

Great Neighborhood and wonderful home. Close to transportation, shopping, schools, and more. House has been well taken care of. One Block from Chestnut, Completely remodeled from previous owner with Seismic Upgrades, Quality Workmanship Throught, Custom Light Fixtures, Hardwood Floors, Fireplace, Custom Kitchen Cabinets/Stainless Steel Appliances, Granite-Marble-Stone Used throught Kitchen & Bathrooms, Laundry Room, Deck & Patio, Mature Landscapping, LARGE 3 CAR Tandem Parking & Stroage Area, Alarm System, Expansion potential in garage area, and more. Seller reserves the right to refuse any and all offers. Please confirm and verify all information stated in listing. The information provided is deemed reliable but not guaranteed.

In the category of “bad real estate listing photos”, I’d like to nominate this one:

The photos are pretty priceless:

1.  two front views looking directly into the sun (perhaps to hide how ugly it is from the curb?)

2.  a kitchen photo with as little light as possible.

3.  several of the photos were not rotated 90 degrees.  Classy.

4.  laundry stacked on the washer/dryer.

5.  kitchen counter top stacked high with food.

6.  last but certainly not least, photos of *both* bathrooms have a plunger standing next to the toilet. In case the buyer had any doubts about the plumbing I guess.

But that’s great news for you, Burbed readers!  If the market is this hot, that means more and more crapboxes will be listed with no attempt to put any lipstick on those pigs.  And that means we are assured there’ll be plenty of prime content!  Like today’s OMG THAT’S PENDING WTF? listing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  Thanks very much for this listing that left many parts in San Francisco.

1261 Sanchez St
San Francisco, CA 94114
$650,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 885
$/SQ. FT.: $734
LOT SIZE: 1,999 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Cottage
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1905
COMMUNITY: Noe Valley
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 40558309
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Pending Court Confirmation
ON REDFIN: 66 days

* * * NO MORE OFFERS PLEASE !!! * * * Cute home with full garage/workshop. Backyard and patio. Loads of potential !!! Fixer, reflected in price. ..

Here’s a perfect example of a house that doesn’t need any effort by a listing agent.  It’s in Noe Valley, so just let the new buyer deal with any deferred maintenance.  What do you want, this place was standing when The Big One hit in 1906 and it’s still here!

This home requires Court Confirmation to sell, so buying it will require some legal advice as well.  And that’s not the realtard’s problem.  You want this house?  You should have been overbidding in January.

Now, a small amount of cleanup might be required.  Take a good look at these pictures, because the agent couldn’t even be bothered to move the smallest little distractions out of the framing.  What is up with all those bottles in the kitchen?  It doesn’t matter.  This market is HOT!

So, see if you can come up with a good story for each of these items.

The rest of the photos are to assure you of Burbed’s Good Housekeeping “Tag of Approval.”  Some of you Negative Nellies might object that the living room and bedroom do not demonstrate good housekeeping at all.  But, ah, the garage!

690 Market St #303
San Francisco, CA 94104
$105,000

BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1.5
SQ. FT.: 1,275
$/SQ. FT.: $82
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Luxury, Tenancy In Common
STYLE: Contemporary, Modern/High Tech
VIEW: City Lights, San Francisco, Downtown
YEAR BUILT: 2007
COMMUNITY: Financial District
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 393305
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 47 days

Live without limits in one of the world’s most romantic cities. Located in the celebrated Chronicle Building, The Ritz-Carlton Club San Francisco offers one, two and three-bedroom fractional ownership residences coupled with casually elegant service and amenities including valet parking, personal concierge, private fitness and member storage, daily housekeeping, residents’ lounge and more. This luxurious residence is 1,275 square feet with one bedroom and one and one-half bathrooms. Fine finishings such as a fully equipped chef’s kitchen, complete entertainment center, Italian marble bathrooms and wine storage come standard. The Ritz-Carlton Club San Francisco enjoys a pristine location in Union Square and is one hour from Napa Valley.

Whatever could possibly go wrong here?  Sure, Market Street is busy 24 hours a day and this unit is on the third floor, but the City sounds (as well as the smells) are what you’re signing up for when you buy a place in Baghdad by the Bay, right?  And the $1,398 monthly homeowner fees might come as a surprise after you slapped down the purchase price in cash, expecting to move in and only pay a pittance in property taxes.

But note that phrase “fractional ownership residences.”  That means this isn’t your condo.  Or rather, it isn’t just your condo.  You’ll be sharing it with some other people, and the listing doesn’t bother specifying how many.  For all you know, you get to use this condo from 4 to 6 am on alternate Thursdays in months without an R during Leap Years.

And it gets even better.  This yours-some-of-the-time pied-a-terre, located close to Nordstrom and lots of homeless people, is bank-owned!

But the good news is the whatever-it-is-they’re-selling comes with a parking space, so you ought to overbid twice asking.  Have you ever tried parking around here?

Here’s unit #301 in the same building, with an asking price half of this one, for three weeks a year.  It’s been sitting all by its lonesome for almost a year (maybe the three weeks are already up).  However, #301 is in an alternate 690 Market Street, which only has 49 units in the building, while #303 has 101 units.  Good thing this 690 Market will give you so many more fractional neighbors!

Can anyone find out how much you get to “use” #303, as opposed to merely “owning” it?  Can anyone figure out how many laws of physics were violated by these two condos (with the same photos) appearing on the same website?

Yet downtown SF and environs is everything that Santa Clara County is not: hip, cool, exciting and not a front lawn to be seen for miles.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this eye-popping penthouse in SoMa.

1160 Mission St #2313
San Francisco, CA 94103
$1,998,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: –
LOT SIZE: –
PROPERTY TYPE: Luxury, Condominium, Penthouse
STYLE: Contemporary
VIEW: Panoramic, City Lights, Water, Bay, Golden Gate Bridge, Downtown, Hills
YEAR BUILT: 2008
COMMUNITY: South of Market
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 392733
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 45 days

Feel the WOW! factor as you step into this dazzling Philippe Starck-style top floor corner penthouse with super-luxury finishes throughout and sensational views from City Hall to the Downtown Skyline and Bay!Fantastic location close to Twitter, Zynga, Google and other red-hot technology companies in SOMA’s booming, world-famous technology center- AND close to Opera House and Davies Symphony Hall. 2 parking/ EXTRA high ceilings/$800K+ (per owner) custom designer finishes/high-end built-in audio-visual systems/motorized shades/stainless VIKING gas stove, refrigerator and wine fridge/Bosch dishwasher/Studio Becker kitchen and MORE!Full service building with fabulous Club Room, outdoor plaza with firepit, gym, 24-hr security & concierge-a MUST SEE!

Here’s what motivated Petsmart Groomer to share this place with the greater Burbed community:

What cracked me up… "$800K+ (per owner) custom designer finishes"
Bought 2 years ago for $1,145,000, on the market now for $2M.

Plus a firepit.  I’m feeling that WOW! factor already.  I thought you had to buy in Sunnyvale to get one of those.

And, you also get 2 parking with EXTRA high ceilings.  That’s for buyers who absolutely must garage their London double-decker busses.

But those $800K+ (per owner) customer designer finishes mean this 1,613 sf condo (per county records) should be worth at least $8K more than as originally furnished.  Good luck with that wishing price.

The best example of the WOW! factor? $851.38 monthly homeowners dues.  You’ll feel the WOW! every time you write that check along with the mortgage.  Buy with Redfin and save $22,478.

115 Telegraph Hill Blvd
San Francisco, CA 94133
$3,000,000

BEDS: 0
BATHS: –
SQ. FT.: –
LOT SIZE: –
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
VIEW: Panoramic, City Lights, Water, Bay, Bay Bridge, Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, Downtown, Park, Garden/Greenbelt, Woods, Hills, Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1906
COMMUNITY: Telegraph Hill
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 373325
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Contingent – Show
ON REDFIN: 572 days

REDUCED ON 9/2/2011 BY $500K!!! Rare Opportunity to purchase a large RH-3 Panoramic View Parcel at the Crest of Famed Telegraph Hill. Panoramic Vistas, including the Golden Gate Bridge, SF Bay & Bay Bridge, Dramatic City Skyline, Coit Tower and Historic Pioneer Park. The cottage on the parcel is unfinished. THE OWNER IS MOTIVATED TO SELL QUICKLY! Nearby Homes are valued at over $10MM and are architecturally significant. BUILD YOUR DREAM HOME OR HOMES/MULTI-CONDOMINIUMS! Walk Score of 95! A Short Distance to The Financial District, North Beach, The North Waterfront, Bay Club and Key Transportation Corridors. Just steps away from the Renowned Grace Marchant Gardens and World Famous Coit Tower! It does not get better than this in our opinion!

Here’s why PG sent this one in:

555 days on the market. If only the buyers were as motivated…

Somebody was motivated.  It’s pending.  Took them long enough (and a 14% price reduction).  But why would they sell a “view parcel” and not mention how big it is?  Makes it a little difficult to build an “architecturally significant” place to fit in with the neighborhood if you don’t know whether the lot is 4000 feet or 40.

However, looking at the lot, perhaps we can infer the size by getting information from another home on the same block.  The map of the immediate neighborhood is below.

Unfortunately, this may not be the lot we are looking for.  The outlined parcel below is on Genoa Place, not Telegraph Hill.  Even more bizarre, the Redfin link to this property is:

http://www.redfin.com/CA/San-Francisco/363V-Filbert-St-94133/home/1973351

No wonder nobody knows how big it is, nobody knows WHERE it is.

Here’s where Zillow says we should look:

I can’t find the cottage, though.  Maybe it’s cowering under the trees for fear someone will BUILD THEIR DREAM HOME OR HOMES/MULTI-CONDOMINIUMS!

Can do!  Just remember that we’re in San Francisco, so their definition of “house” is a little different than what we’re used in the ‘burbs.

1881 Oakdale Ave, San Francisco, CA 94124
$99,000

BEDS: 0
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,090
$/SQ. FT.: $91
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
STYLE: Victorian
YEAR BUILT: 1900
COMMUNITY: Bayview
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 387365
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Contingent
REDFIN: 131 days

Probate Sale with limited authority requiring court confirmation. The subject property is in major disrepair and listing agent has been told that access can’t be provided, and that it may not be safe to enter the property. (no showings) There may be roof damage and fire damage, etc. It is highly possible that the highest and best use is as a tear down for lot value. Ratified @ $95,000 w/ No Contingencies, All Cash, 10 day close, buyer to pay transfer tax, title, escrow, and buyer to take responsibility for all point of sale compliances, As Is. Court Date for Overbid Feb 6th, 9am @ 400 McAllister SF. Must have Cashier’s Check at court. Disclosure package available and overbids will be on same terms, no contigencies!

The listing says “no contigencies,” yet the status is Contingent.  Maybe this house was a Zen Buddhist retreat and you’ll have to listen to the sound of one hand clapping.  Or the sound of one “n” present.

So what does Contingent Status mean in a listing?

This means the sellers have accepted on an offer on the property, but success may still depend on passing a home inspection or the buyer’s financing approval. It may still be possible to tour these properties and submit a backup offer in case the current one falls through.

Given the condition of that staircase, just about anything could fall through.  You just can never tell.

Lot value only?  Note the lot size above; nothing could be bigger. The public records say the lot size is a whopping 1642 square feet.  Plenty of room to build a rental apartment in the back!

2250 Vallejo St, San Francisco, CA 94123
$7,950,000

BEDS: 0
BATHS: 12
SQ. FT.: -
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
VIEW: Panoramic, Bay, Golden Gate Bridge
YEAR BUILT: 1902
COMMUNITY: Pacific Heights
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 390207
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 50 days

Large, Italianate view mansion. Four floors of occupancy. Formerly occupied as 11 units and presently vacant. Conditional Use Authorization obtained in 2009 to merge 11 units to 2 units (home with apartment). Although most original details remain, the home requires extensive remodelling in order to enjoy the 2013 America’s Cup.

This looks like a house that needs an in-person visit, what with the MLS not specifying how large the house or the lot is, or showing very many pictures either.  When there are more snaps of the view than the house, you know it isn’t going to be “turnkey.”  Instead, get your work gloves ready, because you’ll be spending the next year and a half fixing up this place in order to enjoy the 2013 America’s Cup.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to watch it on television?

Anyway, the public records say the home is 7335 square feet on a 6187 sf lot.  No bedrooms but 12 bathrooms, formerly 11 units rented out.  Given how tight the rental market is in SF, how do you think the tenants were cleared out?  Arson?  Blackmail?  Cockroaches?  Dynamite?

Here’s a couple comments on this home from Socketsite, back in 2009 when another Pacific Heights home that had been chopped into apartments failed to sell and was withdrawn from the market.

Posted by: Jake at March 27, 2009 2:51 PM

This would have been a great house if left alone.
The problem is that there was a period from the
thirties to the fifties when large houses were treated as white elephants. Many of them have been returned to their architecturally natural use.

Including… I am pleased to report, the James Francis Dunn mansion on Vallejo, for which the Planning Commission, in a moment of unusual enlightenment, approved, Thursday, a “dwelling unit merger” of eleven to two units!

Hooray for common sense! Commissioner Borden observed that the purpose of denying mergers was to preserve affordable housing, and apartments on this street would not be affordable by any measure.
The building is owned by the Rossi family, who as they noted, contributed a Mayor to SF.

Posted by: Conifer at March 28, 2009 11:02 PM

Holy Crap! I can’t believe that unit merger went through! I thought it would be DOA so I never bothered to check the commission’s decision. It was absolutely the right decision. 2250 is arguably THE most beautiful home on Vallejo St and should never have been chopped up.

James Francis Dunn is not the owner but the architect of this house, and he designed a number of “French Renaissance” apartment buildings throughout San Francisco.  This book on Pacific Heights homes states that building an actual house was a departure for Dunn, and features this nice line drawing above.

The SF Chronicle article on Dunn’s designs describes this house in a footnote: “2250 Vallejo St., in Pacific Heights, originally a single-family house, is a playful take on Italian Renaissance with beautiful proportions and detailing.”

That’s a lot of Frenchified talk for what’s really important.  KAWLUMS!  And finding an agent who can’t spell remodeling but can walk you through an eight million dollar transaction.  Best of all, this “architectural pastry” has the icing on its street name: associated with a large, prolonged bankruptcy.