January 7, 2012

Reduce your footprint with this house!

1102 HOLLYBURNE Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025

$319,500

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These the rage is all about reducing your footprint on the earth. Well, this house takes it to the next level. Look at how much this house achieves in just a 2,744 square foot lot. Wowsers!

It’s unclear how many square feet this house is… but let’s just say that all your furniture better be kind of skinny. You’ll also need a really really really flat and thin screen tv or it might not fit at all.

Take that Japanese Pencil Buildings! We’re coming after you!

Comments (12) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:23 am






July 6, 2011

Menlo Park for well under a Million! (Please check availability.)

Today’s house hasn’t been sitting on the market for a year, isn’t on the wrong side of 101, has four digits of square footage, and doesn’t have an East Palo Alto address.

2162 MENALTO Ave, Menlo Park, CA 94025
$689,000

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,010
$/SQ. FT.: $682
LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1954
COMMUNITY: Willows/O’Conner Area
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81127301
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 15 days

Great starter home in The Willows. Excellent condition. Updated kitchen. New roof. Painted in and out. Double paned windows. Updated electrical. Menlo Park schools. (Please check availability. )

imageNow, the agent wants you to know this home has an updated kitchen, but not enough to bother showing it to you. Pictures of the outside, only!  And the house sold in 2009, for $445K, Yowza, up a whopping 54% in just two years! Do you know what this means?

It means SELLERS MARKET, baby! It means if you want to buy anything on the Peninsula, even this crapbox, you’re going to have write a personal note to the sellers, along with four dozen homemade cookies and an earnest money deposit of about fifty thousand (not refundable).

And those double-paned windows?  You’re going to need them.

image

But your commute to Facebook will be sweet!  I suggest you snap it up before the market comes to its senses and overbids this back over seven digits.

Comments (53) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:10 am

March 10, 2011

Accentuate the Pristine Granite Countertops

This house has it all!  Not just granite countertops, spacious closets and a marble fireplace, but location, location, location, and talk about history!  If you want a home of historical interest, this one is for you!  Our thanks to Burbed reader SEA for finding this winner… winner of the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butchered award for overdone listing copy.

1324 Modoc Ave, Menlo Park, CA 94025
$399,900

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,020
$/SQ. FT.: $392
LOT SIZE: 4,900 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1950
COMMUNITY: East of U.S. 101
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81104404
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 33 days

Completely remodeled home. Vacant and ready to move in. Brand new beautiful hardwood floors throughout which accentuate the pristine granite countertops in the kitchen. Spacious closets including walk-in closet in main BR. A marble fireplace in the living room will keep you and your family warm for years to come. Fenced backyard fully equipped with a storage shed and a cheery, mature lemon tree!

imageSo, location, location, location?  Maybe not, as the listing copy sings the praises of the house rather than the ‘hood.  When the agent sells you on cocooning, better check if the mulberry grove is healthy… um, East of US 101? 

But that cheery, mature lemon tree is going to be the cherry on top of this domestic sundae!  Have you ever read such beautiful listing copy?  Vacant and ready to move in!  Maybe this agent is a frustrated novelist, and anyone trying to buy his house is going to find it a real thriller.  Yes, I said his house.  See this in the listing features?

image

Just expect that contract to be a real page-turner.  And speaking of lots of pages, did I mention historical interest?  Have a gander at THIS!

image

imageNot only is the current owner trying to flip this place for a $100K profit (how much did those granite countertops cost, anyway?), it’s been in foreclosure not once, not twice, but three different times.  Three times within four years.  Okay, maybe twice; it’s a little suspicious that it foreclosed at the exact same price in both April and November 2004, despite yet another couple sales between them.

Perhaps this house has such an interesting financial history because it’s haunted by a banker.  But no problem, just head to the backyard and take comfort from the cheery, mature lemon tree!  Because when you have lemon-painted lien-bait like this lulzicious listing, all you can do is make lemonade.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

March 7, 2011

This house will have you seeing pink in Menlo Park!

Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: 2,340
$/Sq. Ft.: $340
Lot Size: 7,920 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1951
Community: Flood Park Area
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81051090
Source: MLSListings
Status: ActiveThis listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 123 days
WOW! BEST BUY IN MENLO PARK! Enjoy the large, upgraded home in the Menlo Park School District. Nicely remodeled kitchen, recessed lighting, hardwood floors. Huge living room with fireplace. Bright and open family room. Spacious bedrooms. RV parking, Extra storage, and much more!

Thanks to Burbed reader Herve for this find.

I think what really caught his attention was the RV parking! Nah, just kidding… it’s this:

image

Adult entertainment establishment? Horror scene? LSD trip? Your guess is good as mine!

Here’s what else Herve had t
o say:

Corner of Ringwood and Van Buren (named after the NY street gang). Best buy in Menlo Park, only steps from 101. WOW!

That’s right! Just check out the location!

image

This house will have you seeing pink… if not outright pink-eye in no time!

Comments (21) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:44 am

March 5, 2011

A Million to Live in a Below Average Tract

Many neighborhoods have mailing lists organized to keep everyone informed.  When this message was sent beyond the original in-group, I found the name of the ‘hood intriguing enough to check out the house.

Subject: Fw: [subparcoop] Friends interested in buying in SubPar?

From one of my neighbors.  I can attest that my neighborhood is a special place for families!  Houses don’t last long on the market.

Hi Neighbors,
Often times I see emails from people who have friends who are interested in buying a house in our wonderful neighborhood, so I wanted to reach out to let you know our house (15 Greenwood Place- 3 bed/1 bath) is on the market and will be open this weekend. We’ve found another house (close by!) that we’re hoping to buy (that will better fit our growing family), so we’re looking for eager Suburban Park lovers who are ready to buy. If you know someone who might be interested, please have them (or their realtor) reach out to our agent for details ASAP: Sharon Walz 650-279-4652
Thanks!

There it is in the subject line: are you interested in buying in SubPar?  SubPar? That’s a, um, er, fascinating nickname for the Suburban Park area of Menlo Park. Have a look and see what you get in this special place where houses don’t last long on the market.  (Including this one, it sold in a week.  But no overbidding.)

15 Greenwood Pl, Menlo Park, CA 94025
$998,000

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BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,210
$/SQ. FT.: $825
LOT SIZE: 6,820 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch, Traditional
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1948
COMMUNITY: Flood Park Area
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81105961
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Coveted Suburban Park remodeled and updated jewel. Fabulous kitchen w/ granite counters, viking range, stainless steel top appliances. New windows, plantation shutters crown moldings and baseboards, receessed lighting, high end interior and exterior doors. Newer air conditioning and forced air. Garage is amazing playroom with heat and air. Amazing family neighborhood w Menlo Schools. A real 10+

imageYes, it might be SubPar, but it’s still a real 10+!  And the garage is an amazing playroom with heat and air.  That’s amazing alright.  Most of the houses I’ve looked at didn’t have to call out that they had a breathable gas mix.  Maybe in Menlo Park the atmosphere is so rarefied you had better verify before submitting an offer.  Perhaps that’s why the lighting is receessed.

You do realize that they’re saying this house is much too valuable to waste any space for parking cars.  Let’s see, viking range (small v), check, stainless steel appliances, check, granite counters, check, what’s missing?  Pergo?  Hummer on the driveway?  Letter from a would-be buyer?  5% first mortgage and 15% second, with no out-of-pocket?  How about what the 2004 sellers pulled off, listing the place for $795K and selling it for $904K?  Is this place worth more now than it was then?  Remember, the garage is an amazing playroom and it’s in an amazing family neighborhood. With schools, even.  That’s almost as amazing as the heat and air.

Comments (23) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 4:55 am

February 1, 2011

Bonus Post: Watch This Place Skyrocket!

If you read the news about possible congestion pricing on the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges, then you’re an informed, savvy real estate investor!  So why not start picking up some Peninsula properties now, because they’re going to be HAWT, HAWT, HAWT!

1227 Sevier Ave, Menlo Park, CA 94025
$380,000

image

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,916
$/SQ. FT.: $198
LOT SIZE: 5,750 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: East of U.S. 101
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81041407
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 165 days

Short sale approved at this price. Large remodeled home with nice touches. Maple cabinets, granite counters, pergo flooring. Great price for this much square footage. Outside needs works in the back. Great Opportunity!!!

See, even the bank knows this one will be selling shortly, so they raised the asking price after the last contract fell through!  I bet those bank vice-presidents know some people on the bridge committee, too!  It really is all about who you know, and this one’s going to be selling for a thousand a square foot real soon now!  Don’t you want to be able to tell your friends that you snagged it at $198 a foot?  Of course you do! Hurry, before something happens in the back, like your worst enemy closing on this place before you can pick up the phone!

This is a no-brainer, everyone!  It’s in Belle Haven, and you know anything French is just tojours l’amour to rich people!  I bet it even includes a free staircase inside!

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:39 am

The Vast Conspiracy to Raise Peninsula Real Estate Prices

And, lower East Bay prices too!  Win-win-win!

Officials push for higher tolls during rush hours on San Mateo, Dumbarton bridges

By Mike Rosenberg, The Oakland Tribune

Posted: 01/31/2011 07:23:07 AM PST, Updated: 01/31/2011 09:26:52 AM PST

imageDrivers crossing the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges would pay higher tolls during rush hours under a plan Peninsula officials are urging Bay Area leaders to adopt.

A group of city, county and transportation officials this week released the new San Mateo Countywide Transportation Plan, which includes support for congestion pricing on the two bridges that connect the Peninsula and East Bay.

"I think it’s a shame they haven’t done congestion pricing," said Rich Napier, executive director of the county’s congestion management agency, which is overseeing the transportation plan. "It does work."

(Photo, above right: Drivers crossing the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges would pay higher tolls during rush hours under a plan Peninsula officials are urging Bay Area leaders to adopt. File photo, The Oakland Tribune.)

Now, some readers of this site are really clever people, and will simply glance at the headline above and figure it out immediately.  Others of you need to be taken by the hand and have a few things spelled out really slowly and carefully.

Congestion pricing, in case you haven’t tried driving across the Bay Bridge during commute hours, means that the toll is higher during rush hour when everyone else is going to work.  At present, Bay Bridge congestion pricing is $6 during peak commute hours and $4 other times.  The San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges have a $5 toll at all times, rush hour or not.

Now, here’s the part you should have already worked out:

Drivers at the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges typically wait less than two minutes to get through the toll booth, according to the Bay Area Toll Authority.

Still, officials said traffic data shows many of the logjams on Highway 101 are caused by commuters who take advantage of cheaper housing in the East Bay and cross the bridges for their jobs in the Peninsula. Slowing traffic on the bridges during the commute could have a ripple effect on Highway 101, where officials have struggled for years to ease bottlenecks, they said.

Ooooh, ripple effect!  Double rainbow all the way!  Across the sky!  By making commuting more expensive or more inconvenient, homes on the Peninsula close to jobs will become even more valuable.  Meanwhile, “cheaper housing in the East Bay” won’t be such a bargain once the commute costs more time and money.  Expect that desirability deficit to work itself into pricing homes in the East Bay if congestion pricing moves to Peninsula bridges.

In related bridge toll news, the Golden Gate bridge authority is getting rid of all their human toll-takers and switching to an all-electronic system.

Comments (15) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am

December 22, 2010

Cheapest House in Atherton… Um, Cheap House in Menlo Park

In trying to get you another Black Friday DEAL, I found a DEAL myself and hired an overseas contractor to write today’s column.  Unfortunately, you get what you pay for, and what I got was neither in Atherton nor the cheapest house in Menlo Park.  It is, however, like all Real Estate, a DEAL.

3501 Middlefield Rd, Menlo Park, CA 94025
$480,000

image

Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 960
$/Sq. Ft.: $500
Lot Size: 5,300 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1951
Community: County Area/Fair Oaks Ave
County: San Mateo
MLS#:  81013973
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active On Redfin: 274 days

image This home has been "beautifully remodeled!" That means the previous owner has added "value"!  Which begs the question: why would someone bother to do that when the house is not even on the wrong side of 101!?  The overbidding should just flow naturally.  This slice of Silicon Valley is quite the diamond in the rough.  Or is it just the rough part?

Every house has a story and this one is no different.  Let’s see what the savvy investors behind this gem have been up to.  The house was purchased in 2007 for $650,000, so we can be assured that the buyer will have made out well.  After all, when something is that inexpensive, it has nowhere to go but up! 

The buyer’s pride of ownership must have run out 3 years later because it looks like they decided to list it earlier this year for only $599,000.  Looks like someone (maybe the realtard?) must have slipped in a negative sign when they were calculating the appreciation on the ’07 sale.  But buyers love their sweet deals and this one is no exception.  Someone must have noticed the (mistakenly entered?) rock bottom price and tried to buy it because it went pending without release just 3 months later.

Strangely, it didn’t close.  No doubt it slipped out of a sale because the owner, in a fit of rage, realized that the realtor had miscalculated their expected appreciation and backed out.  What we can know for sure is that whatever buyer was interested in this fine gem was standing by with a 20% down payment ($119,800), a 780 credit score and a six figure W2 job, so securing financing wasn’t an issue.  That poor, unfortunate soul missed out on the sweet, sweet depreciation.  I meant appreciation.  My mistake.  Fortunately, their loss is your gain and this estate is once again on the market!

But, enough with the history – what’s with that weird layout?  To start, there’s no windows in the center of the house.  Now that may seem like a bad thing to you, Mr./Mrs. unisex property buyer, but the copy also kindly explains that, while some landscaping has already been done, you still have room to create your own oasis.  If you had any doubts before as to whether or not you would be able to put plants in the ground at this location, your concerns should be put to rest. 

And, when you’re not enjoying the oasis you created, you can always go around back where you will find a pool filled with more possibilities!  Here, you can either re-line the pool or fill it in!  It’s your choice what to do!  Sure, doing nothing is always an option, but smart investors like you know that in order to "add value" you have to do something (anything).  Whether you decide to remove or re-line the pool, you can be sure that you will recoup your "investment" threefold when the next buyer comes along.

image Not every home listing comes complete with a picture of the street signs just down the way.  Fortunately for you, lucky buyer, this does.  The street signs say that this is a neighborhood street.  That’s important to know because it tells you that this isn’t just any street.  It’s a neighborhood street.  The kind where people are neighbors and they go about doing neighborly things like lending each other cups of sugar or engaging in civil discourse about the topics du jour.  Or maybe that’s not what it’s saying. 

Perhaps the sign is a warning about your neighbors.  A warning graciously placed there by the city of Menlo Park to tell you that your neighbors… are a little bit slow.  Maybe it’s saying that you, too, could be a little bit slow as well… if you are quick enough to catch this knife.

Comments (22) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 4:44 am

October 31, 2010

The Most Expensive Zip Codes – The Series You Hate, The Cities You Loathe

Welcome to Part 5 of the least popular series ever on burbed, ever.  You’re welcome.  Forbes thanks you too, since we’re making fun of their mistakes when they wrote an article on the 500 most expensive zips, and hired Altos Research to do their data crunching.

Here are the first four parts for you masochists who can’t get enough numbers, maps, and boring fascinating statistics.

Today we’re going to cover the zips ranked 151-200.  But to reduce the complaining just a tiny bit, we’ll leave out anywhere that isn’t within reasonable commuting distance to the Googleplex.  Actually if I left out everywhere more than 10 miles from Google we’d only have four cities today, which might not be such a bad thing.

image #151 – 94306 Palo Alto

Median Home Price: $1,270,424
Median Price Change: 4%
Average Days On Market: 67
Inventory: 69 properties
Median Household Income: $82,314

At least this time we’re going to start much closer to where the jobs are.  This is a very important zip code.  If you remember this article, 94306 is the only zip code that’s left in the Real Bay Area (RBA) anymore, if you define RBA as the place where prices don’t go down.  So despite being the #2 zip in Palo Alto (94301 came in at #73 on the list), it’s #1 in the RBA.  It’s also last in the RBA, because none of the other zips qualified at all.

The real reason 94306 went up while prices everywhere else collapsed is because it’s the cheap section of Palo Alto.  This area, formerly the city of Mayfield, featured small homes on small lots which people now tear down and put in oversized mini-mansions that loom over the remaining bungalows.  Unfortunately, real estate statistics are oblivious to such trends, such as someone paying money to remodel or replace a house.  Instead you see crazy price increases and think the neighborhood is red-hot rather than full of sawdust and paint fumes.  If the sale price stats subtracted out the money paid for construction, there’s a good chance 94306 would have dropped as much or even more than the other zips around it.

#160 – 94549 Lafayette

Median Home Price: $1,225,110
Median Price Change: -4%
Average Days On Market: 88
Inventory: 126 properties
Median Household Income: $101,555
Ignored Because: In the East Bay

#170 – 94941 Mill Valley

Median Home Price: $1,185,211
Median Price Change: NA
Average Days On Market: 106
Inventory: 197 properties
Median Household Income: $91,283
Ignored Because:  Model for Hill Valley in Back to the Future

#171 – 94563 Orinda

Median Home Price: $1,184,089
Median Price Change: -5%
Average Days On Market: 101
Inventory: 101 properties
Median Household Income: $119,832
Ignored Because: In East Bay, even closer to Oakland than Lafayette

image #173 – 94303 Palo Alto

Median Home Price: $1,175,241
Median Price Change: -5%
Average Days On Market: 59
Inventory: 34 properties
Median Household Income: $64,256

It’s a pretty safe bet that the median home price hasn’t been contaminated by East Palo Alto (which shares this zip code), but take a look at that median household income.  It’s about $20,000 less than 94306, which has a fairly similar set of residents (in the Palo Alto part of the zip, anyway).

While the zip shares with the Oaklandesque East Palo Alto (hey, at least it brought you IKEA), it also has some nice areas in midtown as well as the West Marine on San Antonio Road.  (Remember, yachties spend like drunken sailors because they are drunken sailors.)

Since 94303 has just everything in the whole city that hugs US 101, that isn’t helping matters.  Some of the lower-cost Eichlers in South Palo Alto that get torn down and replaced by monster houses are in 94303, too.  Hope they put in triple-pane windows like they did at Gables End.

#175 – 94965 Sausalito

Median Home Price: $1,173,479
Median Price Change: -11%
Average Days On Market: 149
Inventory: 84 properties
Median Household Income: $76,808
Ignored Because: Has stupid song written about it

#179 – 94705 Berkeley

Median Home Price: $1,152,174
Median Price Change: -1%
Average Days On Market: 70
Inventory: 30 properties
Median Household Income: $68,112
Ignored Because: Shares zip code with Oakland, lousy state-funded college

image #184 – 94025 Menlo Park

Median Home Price: $1,134,946
Median Price Change: -9%
Average Days On Market: 88
Inventory: 179 properties
Median Household Income: $89,572

When you realize that this zip stretches from the foothills near I-280 all the way to the slums of Belle Haven, that median home price is rather impressive.  Not every city the size of Menlo Park has to make due with a single zip code.  Palo Alto has four distinct zips, and Redwood City has five.

And while a ranking of 184th most expensive zip code in the country is clearly not good enough for the RBA, perhaps Menlo Park could petition the
postal service to split the city into East and West postal zones, in hope of the western half aspiring to the RBA.

Nah, prices down 9%.  Forget it.

image #185 – 94062 Redwood City

Median Home Price: $1,133,462
Median Price Change: -5%
Average Days On Market: 97
Inventory: 111 properties
Median Household Income: $96,677

Ha ha!  What was I just talking about above?  Redwood City is nowhere as high on the snootiness index as Menlo Park, and yet by having several zip codes, they managed to get one of them to qualify for the Forbes list.  And this is the one zip that shares with Woodside, which is quite a bit higher in the rankings (#41). 

Oh, speaking of Woodside, you’ll never guess what Forbes says their median household income is.  That’s right. $96,677.  Nice going, Forbes.  That means the Woodside median should be higher and the Redwood city number lower, but you managed to miss yet another muck-up.

This part of Redwood City includes the Emerald Lake Hills area, which is a delightful mix of new construction and bizarre old places featuring old cars in the front yard.  You know how some places in Atherton look like Greenwich, Connecticut?  Well, Emerald Lake Hills looks like Appalachia where half the residents won the lottery.

#193 – 94515 Calistoga

Median Home Price: $1,102,625
Median Price Change: -17%
Average Days On Market: 140
Inventory: 67 properties
Median Household Income: $44,320
Why Ignored: Can’t take place named after bubble water seriously

#194 – 94610 Piedmont

Median Home Price: $1,094,846
Median Price Change: -51%
Average Days On Market: 64
Inventory: 7 properties
Median Household Income: $49,066
Why Ignored: Not only down 51%, but completely surrounded by Oakland.  Completely.  Rival zip 94611 is #74 on list.  I also call BS on Forbes for that median household income.  It’s probably mixed up with the part of OAKLAND this zip shares with.  Oakland, it’s full of Oakland.

image #199 – 95032 Los Gatos

Median Home Price: $1,079,587
Median Price Change: -1%
Average Days On Market: 111
Inventory: 183 properties
Median Household Income: $93,118

It’s the home of Netflix!  Woo-hoo!

The second-best zip in Los Gatos (95030 came in at #38), this zip features delightful estates in the foothills and higher, as well as ho-hum tract houses in the flats near freeways.

Now, take a look at that median home price, above.  It’s barely over a million smackeroos, and we’ve almost hit the 200 mark.  That means the next installment (if there is one) will feature houses in “expensive zip codes” that are under a million dollars dollars for a median price.

Think about that for a moment.  Where we live is so Special that we think of houses under a million dollars as not particularly worth commenting on.  At least most of the zips we’ve shown so far are above the average price for a house in this area.  But as we work our way down that list of 500 zips, we’re going to start to see some very ordinary places that are still more expensive than 44,000 other zip codes in the entire country.

Coming Soon: burbed guest editor forcibly retired for not stopping worst series ever, assailed by mob with pitchforks and torches.  Plus, Part 716 of Bing Maps Galore!

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

October 1, 2010

???EVERYTHING that is Menlo Park at its FINEST???.

Let’s return to Menlo Park, where burbed reader Herve has another terrific find for us.  Fortunately, this one is on the Right Side of 101 and won’t cost you much more than the Wrong Side.

316 Yale Rd  Menlo Park, CA 94025
$1,445,000

image

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,720
$/Sq. Ft.: $840
Lot Size: 7,500 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1939
Community: Allied Arts/Downtown
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81008340
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 214 days

HUGE PRICE REDUCTION! Prime Allied Arts property. Great opportunity to remodel, or start fresh. Close to many schools, Walking distance to downtown Menlo Park, Stanford University and downtown Palo Alto. Nestled in the most prestigious Allied Arts neighborhood, directly and centrally located to ???EVERYTHING that is Menlo Park at its FINEST???.

Other than the bizarre last sentence, as agent copy goes this is reasonably literate.  There’s proper use of nouns, verbs, adjectives, punctuation, and the full range of capitals and miniscules.  So what’s the mystery about this house?  For $1.45 million, shouldn’t we get a few pictures inside?

The problem is the street name.   Not just anybody can show up and demand admission.  You have to fill out a lengthy application with letters of reference, transcripts, and overwrought personal essays.  A substantial bribe donation to the Development Department seller can work wonders.  Then, perhaps, you might earn a spot inside.

Then again, maybe listing a house on Yale near College, a block from University, has given the agent some foolish ideas.  Perhaps that marketing strategy doesn’t work as well for a house as it does for an Ivy League school.  The results speak for themselves: 214 days on Redfin.

image

Hint: To market the house as if it’s a top school, the price should be going up.

Comments (66) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am