Let’s take a break from our Black Friday DEALS and see what a house can look like if you’re willing to spend more than what you find in your sofa cushions.  Instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel, let’s see what you can get for a million and a half.  Thanks very much to Petsmart Groomer for this magnificent Menlo Park megaplex!

1045 WINDERMERE Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$1,549,000

3 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
2,856 Sq. Ft.
$542 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2007 
Lot Size: 8,923 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 77 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81234064
Style: Traditional, Craftsman
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Stunning 5-year-old rebuilt home | 3 bedroom suites & 3.5 ba | Kitchen-family great room | Incredible chef’s kitchen w/ custom cabs, center island, walk-in pantry, high-end stainless appliances incl 6′ wide double fridge | Bonus room off FR perfect for office or play | Fine finishes: 9′ ceilings, rich moldings, plantation shutters, hrdwd flrs, recessed lighting, AC | Great yard | Top MP schools

Isn’t it nice to see a place for sale that doesn’t look like a crime scene?  Don’t you just want to move in here?  We just hope that Flood Park Area is just a neighborhood name and not a description, or worse, an order.

And for this price category, you should, and here you do get some decent real estate photography.  (Although we think this house is  slightly radioactive: look at the sky color change near the roof and especially the trees) Think about some of the places on the sale rack that were shot with a disposable.

Remember, you get what you pay for!  And in this case it’s location, location, location!

Or should that be LOLcation?  Guess that explains the chef’s kitchen w/custom cabs.

Just because it isn’t Black Friday anymore doesn’t mean the DEALS stop!  Let’s see what you can get if you want to live in San Mateo County but don’t want to break the bank.  Or rob the bank.  Or get a ginormous bail-out because you’re a bank.

719 3RD Ave
San Bruno, CA 94066
$388,880

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
820 Sq. Ft.
$474 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1940 
Lot Size: 3,700 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 7 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Belle Air
MLS#: 81241202
Style: Ranch
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Lovingly kept & lived by current owner for a long time. Per county record it is 3BR/1BA; however, 3rd BR has no closet. Walking distance to BART/CalTrain/Elem School. Easy access to HWY 101 for commuting to SF, E. Bay and So. Bay. Regular Sale (Not a Short Sale or REO). Open House 11/18(Sun 1-4 pm) & 11/25(Sun 1-4 pm). Offers, if any, due by 11/25,3 pm. Information believe to be accurate but not verified.

We’re already doing better than yesterday’s cheapest property in Santa Clara County, because the first find is an actual, detached house.  It’s also eligible for the “cozy” tag, but you can’t have everything, can you? Come on, this is vintage pre-war, and it looks like it’s still in vintage condition! Plus that awesome “No, no, no, this isn’t a distressed sale, really!” plaint in the listing copy.

You want a house? You now have zero excuses. Plus, just like yesterday’s third house, easy access to both 101 and the airport!

This house is the deal of the century! (Information believe to be accurate but not verified.)

Can you judge a book by its cover?  You’re going to have to if you’re interested in this beauty in Belmont!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader alyson for sending this foreclosed fortress in.

612 Hiller St
Belmont, CA 94002 
Price:  $624,900

Loan Payment:  $2,094/mo
Bedrooms:  3
Bathrooms:  2
Size:  1,970 sqft
$/Sqft:  $317/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1953
Lot Size:  7,072
Days on Movoto:  15 days
MLS#:  81239349
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show
Go See This Home Make an Offer

Great opportunity to own a home in Belmont! Walking distance to schools, shopping and easy freeway access. This is great for 1st time buyers or investors. Only cash buyers for this property, the buyer(s) are to take possession with the occupant(s) in possession. There will be NO interior inspections for this property, only drive by.*** DO NOT DISTURBE THE OCCUPANT(S) *** Thank You.

Here’s why alyson sent us this listing:

“great for 1st time buyers” but you can only drive by before buying!

Who says you can only drive by?  You have many other options!  You could also walk by, jog by, bike by, skateboard by, rollerblade by, or wait for the next snowstorm and cross-country ski by.

Also, if you’re really feeling adventurous, you could descend down the chimney wearing a cable harness like in Mission: Impossible, to avoid the laser-activated alarms this house is obviously secured by.  That’s why there’s no photos inside.

We do like how Movoto encourages us to Go See This Home when the listing copy tells us we can’t.

Bunus: Home sold for $640K in… 2004!

We do enjoy a few inside jokes here at Burbed, and sometimes our new readers may not understand all the mysterious terms.  If you ever wondered what we mean by the acronym DHO (which even has its own tag), today you’re going to find out!

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Divasm for this beautilicious battlement in Belmont!

16 ELDER Dr
Belmont, CA 94002
$1,229,500

4 Beds 
2.5 Baths 
2,490 Sq. Ft.
$494 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1974 
Lot Size: 0.26 Acres 
On Redfin: 108 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Belmont Woods
MLS#: 81227108
Style: Ranch
View: Bay, Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon, Marina, City Lights
County: San Mateo

Sweeping views of SF skyline, Bridges, East bay. Public rooms on main level:L shaped living/dining rm w/ vaulted ceilings, kitchen w/ granite counters, family rm w/ vaulted ceilings and Fplc. Kitchen/family rm opens to deck. Bedrooms including master suite on lower level open to deck. New in 2006-roof, gutters, decks, driveway, garage door, copper plumbing, carpets, granite counters, water heater. Lot is 11,480 sqft

Here’s what Divasm had to say when passing this place along:

This house worried me at first – more than half of the photos (13 of 23), including the first 9, are all of the exterior. Three of them feature the family minivan, and pic 6 is of a random stone walkway. So I thought, it must be horrible inside – you know, a contractor’s dream, etc. But it’s not, it seems well taken-care of, actually, It’s just that the current owners seemed to not want to bother with this pesky “staging” thing.

I think the agent probably tried suggesting that maybe they remove some personal things while he took photos – like the dishes in the sink, for example – and they declined. So there they are, sitting in the kitchen at the table, apparently watching the television, which seems to be on some sort of news program from what I can tell.

What’s also weird is the listing history. It appears to have been listed July 19 at 1,295,000, sold on August 17 for 13,000, then Pending Without Release on August 22, now it’s back at $1,229,500. Is the real estate agent as incompetent at MLS history as he is at managing his sellers? He must be, otherwise there would be 8′s in the price.

But what I really want to know is if that CHO comes with the house…maybe they are the live-in staff. That explains why it says “Public Rooms on main level” in the copy – because your maid and butler stay there (where do they sleep, the minivan?). If so I’m going to need their resumes and references before I buy the house.

If you clicked on the DHO tag, you might have figured out it meant somebody got caught in a listing photo. We have to go back to this house with not one but two Dudes Hanging Out to find the birth of this Burbed meme.

Want to live on the Peninsula but don’t have a million dollars?  Have we got a house for you!  Not just a lower price, but a unique opportunity on a regal rarely-seen ranch, now on the front page of Burbed!  And of course it’s in Redwood City!

1146 LYONS St
Redwood City, CA 94061
$649,950

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,380 Sq. Ft.
$471 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1953
Lot Size: 6,160 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 10 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Central Park
MLS#: 81236863

First time on the market in 40+ yrs. 3 bdr, 2 ba. Kitchen and bathrooms updated in 2004. Bonus room off the garage is perfect for a tv room, exercise rm or home office space. Backyard swimming pool and covered patio enhance outdoor entertaining. Garage is finished w/ panneling and vinyl flooring and versatile for 2 cars parked inside or use as a big game room. Laundry room in garage.

They don’t build them like they used to! No wonder Sothebys International is representing this primo property.  This house must have been masterly staged, or maybe it’s sitting on a 14 karat gold foundation.

Not every garage is finished w/ panneling and vinyl flooring! So versatile! Park 2 cars inside or use as a big game room.

Although if you want to use the garage as a big game room, wouldn’t you need a place to mount the shotgun racks as well as a ground-based hunting blind?  Sheesh, at least you’d want a Tree Stand?  Just be sure none of this gets in the way of the laundry room.

Plus the Redfin agent has some food for thought:

Interesting Eichler house but needs significant amount of work. Interior is a bit dark and bedrooms are on the smaller side. There is a bonus room with a fire pitoff the garage – permits should be verified.

Why verify permits? If there’s a fire pitoff the garage, some accidents were meant to happen on purpose.

Menlo Park, like its nearby neighbors, is having a bit of a real estate run right now.  Fortunately, some properties have that certain je ne sais pas that put them on our front page no matter how much Facebook employees want to buy a house.  Today’s featured facade, foisted upon us by Burbed reader peninsula.man, punctuates this perfectly.  Please proceed.

410 8TH AVE
Menlo Park, CA 94025
Offered at $699,000
- Pending (Do Not Show)

Type: Single Family Home
MLS #  ML81233923 
SqFt  2,170
Beds  5  Baths  3 Full / 1 Partial 
Lot Size 5,350 SqFt
Year / Age  1935 / 77
Virtual Tour
BuildFax 
 
This spacious and newly remodeled home with 2170 sf is in immaculate move-in condition. Beautifully updated kitchen, baths, recessed lighting, crown moldings, dual-pane windows, and Cherry engineered hardwood floors. Secure front gate with professionally landscaped yard. A perfect home with great convenient location, ready and waiting for its new owner.

And here’s what the P-Man himself has to say about this place:

Can not wait to live next to pizza hut! for just over half a million

More like almost half again over half a million. You’ve been living on the Peninsula too long if $199,000 isn’t worth mentioning in a home price.

More importantly, these photos suggest that this not-quite-vintage-enough-to-qualify-for-the-old-house-tag listing has had a few upgrades put in recently.  Very recently.  Because let’s have a look at the last time this place went pending.

410 8TH Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$355,000 –  Last Sold Price

4 Beds 
4.5 Baths 
2,000 Sq. Ft.
$178 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1935 
Lot Size: 5,350 Sq. Ft. 
Sold On: Jan 13, 2012
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: County Area/Fair Oaks Ave
MLS#: 81150047

This property is a fixer upper need cash buyer to buy this property

Someone had the cash, as the place went pending in eleven days.  Now look what they did to it!  This time it went pending in only seven days. 

Whoops, according to Zillow it went pending in seven days after the $76,000 price reduction five weeks after the $50,000 price reduction which was a month after this place was first listed for an eye-popping $825,000. 

Where the heck do they think they are, Mountain View?  Bunus: House is not actually next to Pizza Hut. 

You can clearly see there is a Quik-Stop in the way.  Be sure to check out the Streetview so you can appreciate this location, location, location! 

Score! Trash bins and DHO!

Yesterday, Our Fearless Leader came out of retirement and shared a really Special House in Millbrae.  It was soooo Special that burbed asked me to follow up with this possibly related listing.  So, thanks for sending this one in, Burbed reader burbed.  To, um, the blog you started.  Right.

821 MORNINGSIDE Dr
Millbrae, CA 94030
$1,258,000

4 Beds 
4 Baths 
2,140 Sq. Ft.
$588 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2002 
Lot Size: 5,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 36 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Bay
County: San Mateo
Stories: 3
Community: Telescope Hills/Silva Ranch
MLS#: 81231418

4 Bedroom/4 Bath, only 10 years new home with marble and wood flooring, cherry cabinets, granite countertops throughout located in a great school district.

Did you like yesterday’s house?  Well, you’ll just love today’s, because it is right next door and it also new while having the advantage of being time-tested.  This house is even more awesome than yesterday’s, because all you can do is longingly look at the front facade.  There’s not a single shot of the marble and wood flooring, cherry cabinets, granite countertops throughout, let alone the great school district.

That must mean the staging is so amazing, you’ll need to wait in line for hours just to buy tickets to see it.  And if they hired ILM to stage yesterday’s house, who could be the artiste for this one?  Maybe it’s Peter Bohlin?  Could the landscaping be the work of Lawrence Halprin?  Or is the entire project the genius of Denis Weil?

One thing is for sure: no matter how many computers and servers you have, you should plenty of power to run all of them.

Here’s both homes for you to admire.  Let us know which one you’d rather be trapped in by a million dollar mortgage for the next 30 years.

“Bunus:“ Same agent representing both houses!  Can you say Buy Two Get Two?

817 MORNINGSIDE Dr
Millbrae, CA 94030
$1,298,000

Ah, who doesn’t love the smell of a new home in the morning. And, look, this even comes with an Au-Pair suite! (Translation: Revenue stream opportunity! Pivot today!)

And what a reasonable price of just $601 per square foot. Practically a steal since it is just minutes from SFO where you’ll be going everyday to take your Gulfstream to whatever important business place you are going to. Caymans, perhaps?

Let’s take a look at some pictures of this new home!

Huh. Look at that! Who knew that new home developers were putting in race cookers, step stools, water bottles, and frosted mini wheats as part of staging. Already I feel more emotionally bonded to this home! Nice job!

Oh, nice work new home stagers! I can totally see myself having a 49er’s loving boy who has lots of hats and… is that a pink pair of sneakers under the bed? And… uh… what’s up with that weird wall fixture? That seems like a waste of space.

Odd choices… but it’s a new home after all.

Let’s look at one more picture of this new home!

Wow. I am absolutely impressed with this staging company. I mean, they’ve made this new home look lived in. How did they find a stained bath math like that to include? Did they even add some wear to the vent?

I am convinced that ILM was the staging company used to make this new home so awesome. ‘cuz, it’s new. Right?

What are your theories?

Welcome back to San Mateo, courtesy of Burbed reader MS.  Today’s terrific title is a top-tier townhouse, and all that townhouse living entails.  Like 20 other units to share the complex with you, and those delightful CC&Rs to make decor decisions dictatorial.

829 S Bayshore Blvd
San Mateo, CA 94401
$690,000, reduced from $711,000

HOA Dues: $250/mo. 
3 Beds 
2.5 Baths 
1,775 Sq. Ft.
$389 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2008 
Lot Size: — 
On Redfin: 46 days
HOA Dues: $250/month
Style: Contemporary
Community: South Shoreview
MLS#: 81229901
Property Type: Townhouse
Stories: 1-3 (Low Rise)
County: San Mateo

Luxury townhome near downtown San Mateo, designed w/ craftsman details, large windows & abundant light. Less than 5 yrs old (2008 built), 3bd, 2.5 bth, 1,770 sqft unit features high ceilings, recessed lighting, wood cabinets, open kitchen, gas-burning fireplace, & gleaming flooring. Master w/ lrg walk-in closet. granite countertops + marble tiling. Seller may consider Lease w/ Option to Purchase.

Here’s why ms sent in this tip-top tenement!

This is a townhouse in a project where the nearest scenic view is the 3rd Avenue sign on 101.  The HOA is decent at $250, but for $700K+ you should not be paying HOA at all.

It is also priced far more than comps. Check out:

Retirees, note the San Francisco-type stairs to go up and down and up again to get to the bedrooms. Your grandkids would have no common place to play.

711K?  Is the bubble real?  Is the bubble fake?  Only the shadow knows, the shadow man under someone else’s bed.

It’s not lucky $711,000 anymore!  Price reduced to $690,000.  You’ll get even luckier with a price like that.  You know what else is lucky?  Those HOA dues.  Redfin mentioned them twice.

MS’s comment about the 3^rd  Avenue sign was completely on the level.  This is the lovely view you get every time you leave the plex.  Location, location, location!

Good morning, Burbed readers!  It’s time for another wonderful week of wigwam winning, only we’re too danged wiped out to do anything about it.  That’s where our readers come in!

Burbed reader mabel du has graciously sent in a real estate find, complete with a very appropriate set of commentary.  That means mabel du is today’s Guest Blogger, so we’re going back to bed.  Please give mabel du a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome with this guest post: a hella-fine hacienda in Half Moon Bay.  And somebody, please get this blogger a keyboard that includes a SHIFT key.

Want to see your name in lights as one of our Guest Bloggers?  Send in your best (by which we mean worst) property listing with your best (by which we really do mean best) writeup!

337 Mirada Rd
Half Moon Bay, CA 94019
For Sale $3,375,000

Zestimate® $2,872,044
Est. Mortgage $11,733/mo
Beds: 2
Baths: 3.5
Sqft: 5,200
Lot: 7,840 sq ft / 0.18 acres
Type: Multi Family
Year built: 1993
On Zillow: 59 days
MLS #: 81228527
County: San Mateo
Elementary school: El Granada Elementary School
High school: Half Moon Bay High School
Legal description: –
Neighborhood name: Miramar City of Naples
Parcel #: –
Per floor sqft: 5,200
Zillow Home ID: 2130285115

Break away from the crowd and live your dream. Work and live on the ocean while minutes from town. Unobstructed ocean view, private mixed-use building. first floor for retail, second floor for large work space. third floor portion of 200 sqft offers 180 degree ocean and white sand beach views. 2 beds, 2 baths, with state of the art kitchen.

 

and now, for something completely different.  as in, not in Mountain View (still the reigning center of the universe).

someone’s been trying to unload this fortress/prison/ugly thang for 4 years, and have run through a few realtors in their misguided attempt to make a profit in a declining market.  i hear concrete prices are way up;  might make more sense to try that route instead of the overpriced beach fortress with a view.

nice views?  yep.  nice house?  not so much.

sold in 2005 for $3.1 mill at the top of the market.  i’m sure the current owner is completely confused as to why this concrete monster hasn’t sold for a profit – in the past 4 years of listings.

redfin – Special pictures

check out pic #20 – hello mr. chair!   thanks to realtor elizabeth for providing a picture of a chair.  now THAT makes me want to drop $3.4 mil on this concrete blob.

pic# 23 – is that another shot of lonely mr. chair?  (That’s the deck photo right above the Price History  —ed.)

wait a sec, mr. chair found himself a mrs.,  and they both pop up in random inside (pic #18) and outside shots.  nice staging (i.e. cheap)…

poor mr. chair has been running laps in that place.