I’m going to conduct a little experiment today. Here’s guest blogger Divasm with a fine write-up of a visit to a house previously discussed in comments. Now, it just so happened that I also wrote the same place up, as the listing just begged for the Burbed treatment.
But Divasm actually visited the house, and, better yet, took pictures! So at some point in the future, no doubt when I’m scrambling for new material, I’ll run the column I wrote on this house, based on nothing but the listing itself. Then you can all tell me how much it sucks compared to this in-person, on-the-ground report.
So please give a warm, Real Bay Area welcome to Divasm with today’s featured listing in Redwood City, complete with on-site photos!
SQ. FT.: 2,320
$/SQ. FT.: $327
LOT SIZE: 7,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
VIEW: Bay, Mountains, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1947
COMMUNITY: Cordilleras Heights
COUNTY: San Mateo
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 492 days
UNOBSTRUCTED BREATHTAKING VIEWS OF SAN FRANCISCO BAY AND EAST BAY MOUNTAINS! LOVELY HOME WITH FEATURES INCLUDING: 2 FIREPLACES-ONE IN MASTER SUITE, NEWER WINDOWS, FRENCH DOORS, DEN/STUDY, DECKS AROUND PROPERTY, FLAGSTONE PATIO WITH GARDEN, AND 2-CAR GARAGE WITH CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY. LIVE IN THIS DESIREABLE NEIGHBORHOOD AND CLOSE TO EVERYTHING!
First omen that this house will be, ahem, interesting is the freaking castle next door! Seriously, look at it – all you’re missing is a dragon and a moat.
You’ll notice that either you are falling down drunk, or the floors are just a wee bit sloped as you travel back towards the kitchen where you find – holy 70’s chic Batman – wood paneling everywhere…I mean everywhere, including the fridge doors!
Then we go up the spiral staircase (yes, you read that correctly) to find that with the sloping floors downstairs come cracked walls upstairs…not just small cracks, some of these are big enough to someday open a portal to hell, I suspect. The best one is traveling diagonally through a blue painted window frame…apparently the owners spent all their dough on custom wood paneling for major appliances and couldn’t afford interior window sills?
According to the Redfin agent notes there’s a view to be found up there so that makes it all ok I guess? But alas Burbed readers, this treasure is already pending, so you’ll have to find your own castle-bordering Mystery Spot of your own!