Today we’re headed to the always exciting City of Sunnyvale, where Burbed reader Dannyman has a found a house for you! No endless windows to clean, doorknobs to polish, or miles of marble to scrub. This house is cute, compact, and convenient: everything at your fingertips!

596 E DUANE Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94085
$499,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,009 Sq. Ft.
$495 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 5,600 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 14 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81314510
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Recently remodeled bright home close to N Fair Oaks Avenue. Minutes away from freeways, shopping and restaurants. Large fenced lot with fruit bearing Avocado and Fig trees. Well maintained lawn, lots of big windows. Large lot to entertain and relax.

Yes, at 1009 square feet, you should be able to clean the ceiling and dust the baseboards at the same time. But here’s why Dannyman sent this to our (and your) attention:

Check sales history.

Okay, we shall!

Wha, what, sold two weeks ago?

596 E DUANE Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94085
Sold for $385,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,009 Sq. Ft.
$382 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 5,600 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Apr 26, 2012
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81210383
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Great starter home ready for your family to move in. Freshly painted exterior. New kitchen cabinets & counter tops. New flooring throughout. Large rear yard, design to your liking, would be great for family or entertaining. Hot water heater new in 2004.

See that? Even not-Real-Bay-Area homes are such a fantastic investment, you don’t even have to brag about a hot water heater that was new in 2004 anymore. Just buy a house, any house, and put it right back on the market. 

Then sit back in your large lot to entertain and relax while the overbids come pouring in.

You could even keep the hot water heater.

Yesterday we featured a humongous three and a half million dollar spread on half an acre in San Jose. It was a block from the actual Rose Garden that gives the Rosegarden district its name, but still, San Jose. For three and a half million. Yeah, we don’t think it computes either, unless we want to talk Bay Area Bubble 4.0 some more.

Now, today’s property and its pricing won’t make your eyes pop out because it’s in the Real Bay Area! Let’s find out why it won’t sell!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for sending in this Real Realty Reject.

11860 FRANCEMONT Ave
Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$3,999,000

6 Beds
6 Baths
5,250 Sq. Ft.
$762 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 1 Acre
On Redfin: 387 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Los Altos Hills
MLS#: 81214828
Style: Mediterranean
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Property available at full price. Fabulous nearly new 5250 square foot home in a quiet cul-de-sac location on 1 acre with easy access and outstanding quality. Excellent floorplan with a huge kitchen/breakfast/family "Great Room" opening to a beautiful backyard. Luxurious master suite. Guest suite on main floor. Excellent Los Altos schools. 6 bedrooms, 6 baths.

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, May 18: 2:00-4:30 pm

First let’s check in with nomadic.

I sent this to a friend a few minutes ago before taking a good look at the listing copy and history.  This should go on burbed.  “Available at full price.”  It’s been on the market since November 2010 and went pending twice, failing to close both times.  The price has been raised at least twice in the past year – now up $700k from last April.

The icing?  It’s an REO.

Well, it doesn’t say it’s an REO in the listing, but the history admits to a foreclosure back in June. June, 2010.  But still, compare this property to yesterday’s! It’s on a full acre instead of a half, it’s got an extra bed and bath, and it’s in the RBA! All this for just “not a lot of money” more! Yet it’s been a languishing listing for at least a year, and that doesn’t even cover all that time before it went pending twice.

Why didn’t this place sell? There are definitely homes in this price range on this street.  Maybe this comment on short sales from a local Realtor might explain things:

The only active short sale in Los Altos Hills, located on Francemont, has been on and off the market since 2006. While it’s a nice house, it has had many offers and still seems to be having trouble closing. It’s unusual for any home to remain on the market so long. In my opinion this is an issue with the bank and not the home.

And the owner of the home is… BAC Home Loans Servicing, through ReconTrust! Thanks a lot, B of A! We all know it really stands for Bunch of A-holes.

Bunus: Virtual tour guaranteed to give you motion sickness.

Let’s start the week with another drop-dead multimillion dollar property in San Jose. Wait, um, San Jose?

1631 UNIVERSITY Way
San Jose, CA 95126
$3,595,000

5 Beds
4.5 Baths
5,959 Sq. Ft.
$603 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1951
Lot Size: 0.48 Acres
On Redfin: 2 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional
Community: Central San Jose MLS#: 81315965

UNPRECEDENTED LOCATION & STYLE IN PREMIER ROSEGARDEN NEIGHBORHOOD~THIS HOME WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY~DESIGNED & REMODELED BY DEMATTEI WITH AWARD WINNING ARCHITECTUAL DETAILS & DESIGN~UNPARALLED INDOOR OUTDOOR LIVING~POOL, CABANA, SPORT COURT~COVERED LOGGIA, OUTDOOR KITCHEN, FLAGSTONE PATIOS & WALKWAYS. IMMERSE YOURSELF IN LUXURY. YOU TRULY FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A RESORT~PERFECT ENTERTAINER’S PROPERTY.

Are three and a half million dollar luxury homes in San Jose now a thing? This isn’t anywhere near Google. But at least we get to break out the Red Arrow Kit again.

Also, this house has earned the Burbed Jackson Pollock Photography Award (and good on you if you already knew that Pollock was not known for shutterbugging) for Hitting the Dial Religiously.

Yesterday we had a look at a Redwood City house with a curious price history.  Today’s featured fortress has fewer data points, but don’t worry, it makes up for it in overbids! Thanks very much to Burbed reader LomaLuvr for launching this one.  And we’ve got fresh data to share!

548 VIEW St
Mountain View, CA 94041
Sold for $1,061,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
994 Sq. Ft.
$1,067 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1924
Lot Size: 6,300 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: May 7, 2013
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Downtown
MLS#: 81308770

Great Location! 1924 cottage on approximately 6300sft lot two blocks from Castro Street! Mostly original cottage sits on this large lot, ideal for renovation or maybe rebuild. Excellent location two short blocks to Castro Street. Theatre, coffee shops, restaurants and train station all within blocks!

Actually, LomaLuvr sent this in long ago, before we started in with the A to Z thing all April. But it’s good news for you that we waited, because now we have the winning overbid, and it’s 18% over asking. Ha! You call that a bubble? Why back in our day, an agent could list a house full of crappy photos near the train tracks and the buyers would throw offers through the windows tied to gold bars!

Hey, wait.  You think the gold bars are back?

It’s Friday! That means here comes your weekend, so we’d like to present a great location for a Silicon Valley stay-cation!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending this one in before the A to Z challenge (THANK GAWD THAT’S OVER IT WAS HARSHING OUR CRAPBOXEN). Fortunately the property is still very much on the market.

18157 WAGNER Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$7,499,000

5 Beds
8 Baths
8,517 Sq. Ft.
$880 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1999
Lot Size: 25 Acres
On Redfin: 45 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81308591
Style: Traditional
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Spectacular transformation! Vastly improved property from two years ago. Complete remodel of existing home with added sq footage, brand new 3100sf toy barn/garage, new 800sf pool house cabana w 500+sf covered patio, over an acre of new cabernet vines, bocce ball court, lacrosse field/sport court, wine cellar, 3car garage, workout facility, 600sf storage rm, outdoor entertaining paradise w pool!!!!

Let’s check in with Swan on this swank setting:

I have many properties I’ve been planning to send you, but I came across the following this morning and it rose to the top of the list:

At first, I thought I’d submit this home because of the realtard’s line, "Vastly improved property from two years ago." What is that realtor speak for?  Then, in looking at the pictures, I realized I’d seen this somewhere before!  

Yes, a finished home is a vast improvement!  Landscaping helps too!  From the pictures, it seems someone has been living there. The listing history goes on… Be sure to check out photo number 24 of the storage room.  An 8500 square foot home and you need 600 square feet of storage?  The current occupants have sure put the storage room to good use!

Have at it…

Yes, this place looks familiar, doesn’t it?  Or maybe not, since they finished painting and put all those ladders in the 600 square foot storage room.  It sold in May, 2011, for $5.75 million, and these listing photos look a little different than what we covered here.

Although we miss the ladders.  Made the place look like part of an Edgar Martins exhibition.

Also, we found the before before pictures.  Don’t miss them (kitchen pictured at left).  They might have asked for $3.95M that round, but they got $1.8.  You really have to check out the property history, because before that it was foreclosed on, maybe even twice in two weeks, and before that it was listed for $7.8M.  Good luck figuring out if it sold for $5.6M, or $7M or both or neither!  This house and its grounds have been nothing but a big and very expensive game of Hot Potato going back all the way to 2000!

So, Burbed readers, why is this amazing estate still on the market after an eternity of 45 days? Do you think the flippers are waiting to collect even more overbids?  Now that would be an even happier ending.

Surprised it’s still there, what with all that value in the land.  Thanks to Burbed reader LomaLovr for the find.

1950 LEGHORN St
Mountain View, CA 94043
$799,000

3 Beds
1.5 Baths
1,456 Sq. Ft.
$549 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1966
Lot Size: 0.52 Acres
On Redfin: 7 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family Community: Rengstorff MLS#: 81313653
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Rare opportunity to own this half acre lot with a single family home grandfathered on it. Zoned MM40 for commercial or industrial use. Single family home can be used as an office upon ok by city for business purpose. 200 sq ft basement. Property can not be developed into other residential aspects. Property can not be subdivided. Easy access to 101. Property will not last, this is under valued.

Upcoming Open Houses

Sunday, May 5: 1:00-4:00 pm

Buried in the cached copy are these comments:

Investment Property Possibilities Endless .51 acre lot Can be commercial property. Zoned MM40 Grandfathered Single Family Home on lot.

We are done with the April blogging challenge, so let’s get back to what made Burbed what it is: ridiculously overpriced crapboxes! And what better place to find it than in our very favorite city, Palo Alto?  Thanks much to Burbed reader Pizzawillcome for this, um, thing you could seek shelter in if you absolutely had to.

3375 STOCKTON Pl
Palo Alto, CA 94303
$1,299,900

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,716 Sq. Ft.
$758 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1958
Lot Size: 6,400 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 52 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: South Palo Alto
MLS#: 81307408

Classic Eichler home with central atrium. Nice backyard. Large utility room can also function as a den, office, or playroom.

Here’s why Pizza sent in this house:

I didn’t pull the trigger on this one, and now it is back! Same pictures as a month ago. Gotta burb-alert it now.
Unfolded laundry on the couch and floor, littered stuffed animals and toys. When I get bored with overly staged houses, I think of this one.

Fortunately, the Redfin agent has some useful comments to share as well!

Original condition! That’s excellent news! None of those second-rate replacements of vintage pressboard walls.  But these photos just sell the house, don’t they?

And note how the use of light draws your attention in to all the details.

That is, if you can see them. This technique seems to work just as well in the outdoor shot of the yard, demonstrating just what kind of a professional we’re dealing with.

So, if a house is for sale in the Real Bay Area, but it’s on a street named for somewhere that is Most Certainly Not In The Real Bay Area, how high will the overbids be?

Zoinks! Today’s the very last day of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and it’s also the last of the Triple Threat of Cityless Letters! There are no cities or towns in the Bay Area that start with Z. There aren’t even any neighborhoods in our two largest cities willing to cooperate. What to do, what to do?

We could discuss the complete fail that is the Zero lot line home. (How can you water your own lawn when there’s a house in the way?)  We could really Zone you out by digging deep into tl;dr territory with some Zoning violations! Or how about our favorite series on this site, ever? Yes, Zillions of Zip Codes!

Fortunately, we’re not going there. Instead, let’s drop by one of our favorite real estate sites.

5866 Zileman Ct
San Jose, CA 95123
Pending: $650,000

Est. Mortgage: $2,274/mo
Bedrooms:4 beds
Bathrooms:2 baths
Single Family:1,846 sq ft
Lot:6,534 sq ft
Year Built:1968
Last Sold:Dec 2012 for $565,000
View virtual tour

Construction Quality 6.0
Garage Size 439
Last Remodel Year 1969
Lot Depth 113
Lot Width 58
MLS #81309066
Parcel #69215003
Roof TypeAsphalt
Room Count 8
# Stories 1.0
Structure Type Contemporary
Unit Count 1
View Mountain
Zillow Home ID 19828550

Description

Modern beautiful sparkling remodeled home,spacious and bright, freshly painted inter and exter. approx 1846 Sf of living space,6554 sq.ft.lot , warm and cozy 4 largebedrooms and 2 new baths, dual pane windows,recessed lighting,central air,indoor laundry, living room with fireplace, finished 2 car garage,updated kitchen w breakfast nook. Nice curbappeal

Zestimates

Value: $570,609
Range: $428K – $605K
30-day change: +$25,268
$/sqft: $309
Last updated: 04/28/2013

Rent Zestimate $2,591/mo
Range: $1.1K – $3.4K/mo
30-day change: -$8
$/sqft: $1.40
Last updated: 04/29/2013

Market Guide

Zillow predicts Santa Teresa home values will rise 5.8% next year, compared to a 5.9% rise for San Jose as a whole. Among Santa Teresa homes, this home is 21.1% more expensive than the mid-point(median) home, and is priced 9.3% more per square foot.

Zounds! That stormy sky is no Zephyr! More like dialing the HDR up to 11 when Zero would have been more appropriate. Yeah, photographer was too Zealous. And when we Zip inside, best bring your Geiger counter, because there’s particle decay in them thar bedspreads. Watch out for Zeta rays (there’s no such thing, but it sounds all science-y and danger Zone if you get Zapped by them).

Most of all, Z is for Zestimate, Zillow’s best known feature. This home’s Zestimate is $570K, when it was listed for $650K and went pending in 3 days. What do you predict this house will end up selling for?  Don’t forget the curbappeal.

Welcome to the most difficult entry in the entire Blogging from A to Z Challenge. X is the letter that leads to cheats (like finding a house in FairfaX), tweet-style entries (X-treme anything), and words that are unrelated to the blog’s subject (wouldn’t you all like an entry on Xylophones? Hint: they’re supposed to be made of wood).

But no, we’re going to rise to this challenge properly, even if we have to go all the way back to 2010 to comply!  It was either that or another one of our tl;dr essays on the subject of how odd Xenophobia looks to residents of the Real Bay Area.  You can let us know whether we made the right choice with the property listings by speaking up in comments.

72 LORELEI Ln
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$780,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,120 Sq. Ft.
$696 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 5,130 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Aug 24, 2010
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81033951

Charming remodeled 3 bedroom/ 2 full bathroom home, inspired by the California and Silicon Valley lifestyle, on a quiet cul-de-sac in a wonderful Menlo Park neighborhood. Notice the professionally designed xeriscape in the front yard that utilizes California native and drought resistant vegetation. Check out the no-mow front lawn (it is very cool). Hardwood floors, open beamed ceilings.

Yes, dear readers, our entry for today is Xeriscaping.  Xeriscaping is landscaping with drought-resistant or desert-native plants. The point of xeriscaping is to conserve water and reduce yard waste, and it’s also one of those trendy terms we find on this parody site (of late neglected). And we’ve covered many a house with those kind of front yards! So now that we went back to 2010 to find the only use of the word in any Bay Area home listing anywhere (and they had to turn it into a fracking noun while they were at it), let’s come up with a more recent offering more suitable to the needs of the current home buyer.

201 RIO CHICO Dr
San Jose, CA 95111
$440,000

6 Beds
3 Baths
1,769 Sq. Ft.
$249 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959
Lot Size: 5,100 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 63 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: South San Jose
MLS#: 81305376

This is an excellent opportunity for an investor or a large family. This house needs a little TLC and is located near schools, shopping and freeways. Thank-you for showing.

Xeriscaping without all the fuss, and no pretentious neighbors anywhere near this location, location, location to say you’re doing it wrong!  Or to imply that it is not very cool. We apologize for the City-owned parking strip with greenery.  Thank you for showing.

Welcome to one of the Scrabble “bunus” rounds of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge! Yes, some of the letters are worth more points, because they’re Quite harder to play. And there aren’t any cities in the entire Bay Area that start with the letter Q, so we’re going to have to come up with another Quality. And we’ll have the same Quixotic Quest again when we deal with X and Z!

So, are there any other place names we can use? Neighborhoods, local landmarks, that sort of thing?  San Francisco has 118 distinct neighborhoods, and not one starts with the “Scrabble Challenge Trio.”  Ditto for the 33 hoods in San Jose.  (Which raises a Question: why does San Jose, with more geography and more people, have much fewer place names?)

Fortunately, we are about to be Quietly rescued by Redfin, who helpfully has their very own Quirky neighborhood names!

Update 10:16 AM: See added picture and graf toward the end. Quite Quintessential.

2705 NORBERT Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$740,000

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,713 Sq. Ft.
$432 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1978
Lot Size: 7,980 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Mountains, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81312097

AMAZING EVERGREEN HOME–ONE HOUSE AWAY FROM GROESBECK HILL PARK! BRIGHT VAULTED ENTRY, GOURMET KITCHEN WITH STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES, GRANTITE COUNTERTOP, SEPERATE DINING RM W/ GRANITE WET BAR, TILE IN KITCHEN AND HARDWOOD FLOOR IN HALLWAY, BAY WINDOW IN LIVING RM, CEILING FANS IN MOST ROOMS, FLAGSTONE PATIO WITH SPORTS COURT, FRUIT TREES, CUSTOM-BUILT VIEWING DECK IN BACKYARD! RENTS $3,100/MO

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Apr 20: 2:00-4:00 pm

Now while this home isn’t the sine Qua non of Questionable real estate, it has certain Qualifications for the front page. Head off to the comments with your Questions and Quell any doubts that we would come up with some Quip.  Or Quirk.

Update 10:16 AM: Or in the case of this Quality structure on the left, we’re wondering how it will fare during the next Quake.

We could share even more pictures. Or we could always Quit.