Any zip that isn’t in the Top 50 shouldn’t qualify for Real Bay Area (RBA) status, right?  Here are the Bay Area zips in Forbes Magazine’s Most Expensive Zip Codes #51 through 100.  Since these aren’t good enough to have made the cut, we can assume any city featured here is no longer fit to inhabit the RBA.  So enjoy reading about these loservilles, that are still more expensive than most anywhere else in the country.

In case you missed the previous entries in this series, the Top 25 appear here, and #26-50 can be found here.  I encourage you to check them out, as obviously they are better places to live than what you’ll find in this article.

#53 – 94920 Tiburon

Median Home Price: $2,046,939

Median Price Change: -22%

Average Days On Market: 126

Inventory: 116 properties

Median Household Income:$106,492

Yeesh, down 22%.  No RBA for you, Tiburon.  Wait, we already saw this zip.  It’s also #8.  So, um, they split Belvedere from Tiburon?

Well, well, well, there are 39 properties for sale in Belvedere (median home price, $3.28 million), and 116 here.  And yet both places have (what a surprise) the exact same median household income.

You blew it again, Forbes.  Am I going to have to rewrite that entire article for you?

#59 – 94588 Danville

Median Home Price: $1,922,523

Median Price Change: NA

Average Days On Market: 276

Inventory: 4 properties

Median Household Income: $92,644

Be sure to check out this East Bay interloper: the idiots at Forbes got the wrong map.  They can’t tell Danville from Dublin. And with only 4 properties on the market, they have no idea if it’s up or down.

Maybe those East Coast provincials ought to be told they’ve managed the equivalent of confusing Westhampton Beach with Levittown.

 

#62 – 94904 Kentfield

Median Home Price: $1,911,822

Median Price Change: 6%

Average Days On Market: 99

Inventory: 40 properties

Median Household Income: $82,528

This Marin County city is right next to Ross and may even manage to get more precipitation.  Why people would want to live here when they could buy a palace in San Jose is beyond me.  Plus San Jose only gets 11 inches of rain a year.

And San Jose is so much closer to Google!  Priorities, people!

 

#69 – 94970 Stinson Beach

Median Home Price: $1,790,196

Median Price Change: -7%

Average Days On Market: 232

Inventory: 27 properties

Median Household Income: $88,184

Stinson Beach can’t be in the RBA, it’s down 7%, and next to Bolinas, home of the high-priced water meter.

First one to make a joke about this zip code’s ranking and “Sex on the Beach” is going to be asked to leave the room.

No, I do not want to hear about what that peninsula with Seadrift Road looks like.  You all have filthy minds.  Yes, especially you.

#71 – 94024 Los Altos

Median Home Price: $1,746,928

Median Price Change: -6%

Average Days On Market: 91

Inventory: 67 properties

Median Household Income: NA

Down 6%, and another zip-splitter.

Seriously, is there anything funny to say about Los Altos?  Other than the featured listing that’s running tomorrow, that is?

Well, that and the dude with the cellular antenna farm.

And the fact that this same zip in Los Altos Hills is ranked so much higher at #18.  And that Forbes couldn’t tell the difference between the two and showed houses from Los Altos when featuring The Hills Hills.  And yet, 67 properties here, 15 properties there. Household income, not available here, not available there. Oh, oh. They match.

#73 – 94301 Palo Alto

Median Home Price: $1,730,889

Median Price Change: -6%

Average Days On Market: 128

Inventory: 58 properties

Median Household Income: $97,758

We already knew this zip code wasn’t in the RBA anymore.  Its low ranking merely proves it.  As does this listing which hasn’t sold in more than 2 years.

Didn’t we all agree not to talk about Palo Alto anymore?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Oh yeah, Steve Jobs lives here!

 

#74 – 94611 Piedmont

Median Home Price: $1,709,577

Median Price Change: -3%

Average Days On Market: 96

Inventory: 23 properties

Median Household Income: $68,853

Down 3%, and suspiciously Bradburylike.  Oakland, I tell you, it’s surrounded by Oakland!

And a freeway runs through it!  Just like Oakland!

And this place hasn’t sold yet. And neither has this one.  This city is FAIL: 100% of its listings on burbed unsold!

 

#83 – 95070 Saratoga

Median Home Price: $1,652,013

Median Price Change: -1%

Average Days On Market: 124

Inventory: 177 properties

Median Household Income: $138,206

Down 1%.  That’s borderline for remaining in the RBA, but coming in at #83 just cannot be allowed.

Can anyone remember why Saratoga used to be in the RBA?  What exactly did it do to get there in the first place?  Why should a city with seven different school districts thinks it’s real anything?

I say no, not until they manage to sell this house.

#84 – 95030 Monte Sereno

Median Home Price: $1,647,239

Median Price Change: -34%

Average Days On Market: 142

Inventory: 84 properties

Median Household Income: $117,564

Stop me if you’ve seen this zip code before.

Down 34%. Wait, it’s right next to Saratoga.  Plus borrowing Los Gatos’ zip code.  84 properties?  WTF?  In a town of 3,483?  And only 53 properties listed in Los Gatos (#38), population 28,592?  That’s a real knee-slapper!  Now can you tell me the one about the Santa Claran, the San Joseite, and the Saratoger?

 

#92 – 94123 San Francisco

Median Home Price: $1,609,753

Median Price Change: 9%

Average Days On Market: 58

Inventory: 63 properties

Median Household Income: $84,710

burbed, voted best real estate blog in San Francisco, would like to welcome 94123 to the list of Most Expensive Zip Codes!  This is the first zip in San Francisco to make the cut.  And that is really awful, because several New York City and Los Angeles zips have already shown up.  Congrats, you losers.

Up 9%.  This is the Marina District and includes some of Billionaire’s Row.  Yes, including the place selling for $45 million.

#93 – 94506 Blackhawk

Median Home Price: $1,604,976

Median Price Change: 19%

Average Days On Market: 143

Inventory: 51 properties

Median Household Income: $142,459

Up 19%.  Wait, this is the East Bay.  Prices don’t go up in the East Bay.  The proper expression is “Blackhawk down.”

Seriously, this is a developer-designed golf-course community that didn’t even exist before 1980.  Having this zip appear right after one full of history, architecture, design, and taste is just wrong.

 

#94 – 94022 Los Altos

Median Home Price: $1,600,139

Median Price Change: -28%

Average Days On Market: 87

Inventory: 53 properties

Median Household Income: NA

Wait, is today Groundhog Day?  Didn’t I just say something about Los Altos Hills, and that we already saw this zip, and that… someone must have hit me over the head, because I’m seeing double.  Los Altos Hills in this same zip is #15 on this list, with a median home price of $3.04 million.  And (what a coincidence), 58 properties.  Sloppy work, Forbes, very sloppy.

This place doesn’t even have the cell phone antenna farm!

And that’s it for the Also Rans of the Most Expensive Zip Codes in the Whole Fracking Country.  Except… the list goes to 500 zips.  If you don’t want to see anymore of these Bing Maps, commence whining.

Next installment in this thrilling series: The Most Expensive Zip Codes, Volume 714,

Yesterday’s listing was an unsuitable property in a challenging location.  Today’s house is within reasonable commute distance so there shouldn’t be as many complaints.  Also, more eights in the price today so it’s LUCKY.

21631 Hicks Rd  Los Gatos, CA 95032
$1,999,988

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,704
$/SQ. FT.: $1,174
LOT SIZE: 24.02 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains, Canyon, Lake, Valley, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1973
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81025440
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 24 days

INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY! GATED ESTATE PROPERTY ON NEARLY 25 ACRES WITH SWEEPING VIEWS AND LOS GATOS SCHOOLS! SEVERAL BUILDING PADS TO CHOOSE FROM AND EXISITNG HOUSE. .. NEEDS TLC BUT PERFECT FOR TEMPORARY RESIDENCE DURING CONSTRUCTION, OR TO USE FOR “REMODEL” PROJECT, OR TO OBTAIN SFR FINANCING. .. ALL WITH VIEWS! GREAT POTENTIAL FOR THE BUYER WITH VISION AND THAT WANTS PRIVACY. VALUE IS IN THE LAND.

Another description in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.  Seems URGENT.  Let’s READ IT before REDFIN starts making sure the AGENTS know how to USE a COMPUTER KEYBOARD PROPERLY before POSTING A LISTING.

This seems straightforward enough.  There’s a rather ugly, boring, run-of-the-mill house that would go for about a hundred thousand in flyover country and about three hundred thousand in the non-RBA (Real Bay Area) part of San Jose.  But these out-of-state greedheads want two million dollars for it because it’s GATED.  And they think they’re going to get it because while they say they’re selling this (ugly, boring, overpriced) house, they’re really selling 24 acres of land with an ugly, boring, overpriced house that just happens to be on one of them.  This house can’t be too Special or we’d get to see a photo or two inside.  Maybe it’s all one giant open space when you walk through the front door?

In a way, they’re being honest about it. VALUE IS IN THE LAND = House is worthless, but you can’t finance this place if we tear it down.  They admitted it was still standing TO OBTAIN FINANCING.  And you could use this PERFECT FOR TEMPORARY RESIDENCE DURING CONSTRUCTION.

So, what happened between 1998, when the owners paid $275,000 for this place, and now? The wishing price is almost eight times higher!  Doesn’t RBA property only double in ten years?  Why have they tried to sell this place once a year, every year since 2004?

But there’s a bit of a mystery to this place.  Why are there SEVERAL BUILDING PADS TO CHOOSE FROM?  Did they hire several different contractors and fire each one of them before they built anything permanent? Or did they intend to invite NASA to move in when they lose Moffett Field,?  How many BUILDING PADS is SEVERAL, anyway?  The Redfin description doesn’t say, but this older listing says that not only has the house gotten 300 sf smaller, there used to be POTENTIAL FOR 8 BUILDING SITES.  And something about a BARN.  A BARN!  There’s nothing about a BARN in the current listing!  No wonder they reduced the price from last year’s $2,288,000!  If only they’d added some more eights.

And why did they take the TourFactory Video down?  Is there something on those BULDING PADS they don’t want us to see?  Maybe it’s the collapsed 300 sf part of the house.

Are you a BUYER WITH VISION?  Do you WANT PRIVACY?  Do you have a broom for some SWEEPING VIEWS?  There’s probably a fascinating backstory to all those abandoned BUILDING PADS, and it can be yours for just two million dollars.

17140 La Rinconada Dr, Monte Sereno 95030

$1,299,000
Status: Active
Bedroom: 3
Bathroom: 2
Year Built: 1955
Lot Size: 10126
Square Footage: 1711
List Date: 4/30/2008
Garage Spaces: 2
MLS#: 805414

Description of 17140 La Rinconada Driv, Monte SerenoExcellent Monte Sereno Location. Large lot. A definite fixer. Good bones. Double driveway with room for RV, Boat, etc. Seller’s illness has caused sale. Permanentguaranteed Odor removal by Rainbow Services of $16,800. Seller has two bedrooms unavailable to see-personal. 6 year old roof. Two driveways. New carpet. Bring your clients who want a home in an upscale location. Disclosures available.

Frankly, I’m a bit confused as to what is going on here. Is the Seller including permanent guaranteed odor removal by Rainbow Services? Or is the Seller saying that $16,800 of permanent guaranteed odor removal by Rainbow Services is required?

But in the end, does it really matter? This house is in Monte Sereno – can you say executive class? Sure you can’t see 2 of the bedrooms, but does it really matter? It’s got new carpeting! And besides, for $1.3 million, this is a deal – houses in that area regularly go for $3 million.

The hallmark of a good executive is being able to make decisions with incomplete information. Let’s face it, if you couldn’t make the easy call to buy this house, then you’re not an executive. And if you’re not an executive, you’re not meant to live here.

’nuff said.

(Thanks to Burbed reader Brian for this find.)