Let’s start the week with another drop-dead multimillion dollar property in San Jose. Wait, um, San Jose?

1631 UNIVERSITY Way
San Jose, CA 95126
$3,595,000

5 Beds
4.5 Baths
5,959 Sq. Ft.
$603 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1951
Lot Size: 0.48 Acres
On Redfin: 2 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional
Community: Central San Jose MLS#: 81315965

UNPRECEDENTED LOCATION & STYLE IN PREMIER ROSEGARDEN NEIGHBORHOOD~THIS HOME WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY~DESIGNED & REMODELED BY DEMATTEI WITH AWARD WINNING ARCHITECTUAL DETAILS & DESIGN~UNPARALLED INDOOR OUTDOOR LIVING~POOL, CABANA, SPORT COURT~COVERED LOGGIA, OUTDOOR KITCHEN, FLAGSTONE PATIOS & WALKWAYS. IMMERSE YOURSELF IN LUXURY. YOU TRULY FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A RESORT~PERFECT ENTERTAINER’S PROPERTY.

Are three and a half million dollar luxury homes in San Jose now a thing? This isn’t anywhere near Google. But at least we get to break out the Red Arrow Kit again.

Also, this house has earned the Burbed Jackson Pollock Photography Award (and good on you if you already knew that Pollock was not known for shutterbugging) for Hitting the Dial Religiously.

Zoinks! Today’s the very last day of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and it’s also the last of the Triple Threat of Cityless Letters! There are no cities or towns in the Bay Area that start with Z. There aren’t even any neighborhoods in our two largest cities willing to cooperate. What to do, what to do?

We could discuss the complete fail that is the Zero lot line home. (How can you water your own lawn when there’s a house in the way?)  We could really Zone you out by digging deep into tl;dr territory with some Zoning violations! Or how about our favorite series on this site, ever? Yes, Zillions of Zip Codes!

Fortunately, we’re not going there. Instead, let’s drop by one of our favorite real estate sites.

5866 Zileman Ct
San Jose, CA 95123
Pending: $650,000

Est. Mortgage: $2,274/mo
Bedrooms:4 beds
Bathrooms:2 baths
Single Family:1,846 sq ft
Lot:6,534 sq ft
Year Built:1968
Last Sold:Dec 2012 for $565,000
View virtual tour

Construction Quality 6.0
Garage Size 439
Last Remodel Year 1969
Lot Depth 113
Lot Width 58
MLS #81309066
Parcel #69215003
Roof TypeAsphalt
Room Count 8
# Stories 1.0
Structure Type Contemporary
Unit Count 1
View Mountain
Zillow Home ID 19828550

Description

Modern beautiful sparkling remodeled home,spacious and bright, freshly painted inter and exter. approx 1846 Sf of living space,6554 sq.ft.lot , warm and cozy 4 largebedrooms and 2 new baths, dual pane windows,recessed lighting,central air,indoor laundry, living room with fireplace, finished 2 car garage,updated kitchen w breakfast nook. Nice curbappeal

Zestimates

Value: $570,609
Range: $428K – $605K
30-day change: +$25,268
$/sqft: $309
Last updated: 04/28/2013

Rent Zestimate $2,591/mo
Range: $1.1K – $3.4K/mo
30-day change: -$8
$/sqft: $1.40
Last updated: 04/29/2013

Market Guide

Zillow predicts Santa Teresa home values will rise 5.8% next year, compared to a 5.9% rise for San Jose as a whole. Among Santa Teresa homes, this home is 21.1% more expensive than the mid-point(median) home, and is priced 9.3% more per square foot.

Zounds! That stormy sky is no Zephyr! More like dialing the HDR up to 11 when Zero would have been more appropriate. Yeah, photographer was too Zealous. And when we Zip inside, best bring your Geiger counter, because there’s particle decay in them thar bedspreads. Watch out for Zeta rays (there’s no such thing, but it sounds all science-y and danger Zone if you get Zapped by them).

Most of all, Z is for Zestimate, Zillow’s best known feature. This home’s Zestimate is $570K, when it was listed for $650K and went pending in 3 days. What do you predict this house will end up selling for?  Don’t forget the curbappeal.

Welcome to the most difficult entry in the entire Blogging from A to Z Challenge. X is the letter that leads to cheats (like finding a house in FairfaX), tweet-style entries (X-treme anything), and words that are unrelated to the blog’s subject (wouldn’t you all like an entry on Xylophones? Hint: they’re supposed to be made of wood).

But no, we’re going to rise to this challenge properly, even if we have to go all the way back to 2010 to comply!  It was either that or another one of our tl;dr essays on the subject of how odd Xenophobia looks to residents of the Real Bay Area.  You can let us know whether we made the right choice with the property listings by speaking up in comments.

72 LORELEI Ln
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$780,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,120 Sq. Ft.
$696 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 5,130 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Aug 24, 2010
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81033951

Charming remodeled 3 bedroom/ 2 full bathroom home, inspired by the California and Silicon Valley lifestyle, on a quiet cul-de-sac in a wonderful Menlo Park neighborhood. Notice the professionally designed xeriscape in the front yard that utilizes California native and drought resistant vegetation. Check out the no-mow front lawn (it is very cool). Hardwood floors, open beamed ceilings.

Yes, dear readers, our entry for today is Xeriscaping.  Xeriscaping is landscaping with drought-resistant or desert-native plants. The point of xeriscaping is to conserve water and reduce yard waste, and it’s also one of those trendy terms we find on this parody site (of late neglected). And we’ve covered many a house with those kind of front yards! So now that we went back to 2010 to find the only use of the word in any Bay Area home listing anywhere (and they had to turn it into a fracking noun while they were at it), let’s come up with a more recent offering more suitable to the needs of the current home buyer.

201 RIO CHICO Dr
San Jose, CA 95111
$440,000

6 Beds
3 Baths
1,769 Sq. Ft.
$249 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959
Lot Size: 5,100 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 63 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: South San Jose
MLS#: 81305376

This is an excellent opportunity for an investor or a large family. This house needs a little TLC and is located near schools, shopping and freeways. Thank-you for showing.

Xeriscaping without all the fuss, and no pretentious neighbors anywhere near this location, location, location to say you’re doing it wrong!  Or to imply that it is not very cool. We apologize for the City-owned parking strip with greenery.  Thank you for showing.

Welcome to one of the Scrabble “bunus” rounds of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge! Yes, some of the letters are worth more points, because they’re Quite harder to play. And there aren’t any cities in the entire Bay Area that start with the letter Q, so we’re going to have to come up with another Quality. And we’ll have the same Quixotic Quest again when we deal with X and Z!

So, are there any other place names we can use? Neighborhoods, local landmarks, that sort of thing?  San Francisco has 118 distinct neighborhoods, and not one starts with the “Scrabble Challenge Trio.”  Ditto for the 33 hoods in San Jose.  (Which raises a Question: why does San Jose, with more geography and more people, have much fewer place names?)

Fortunately, we are about to be Quietly rescued by Redfin, who helpfully has their very own Quirky neighborhood names!

Update 10:16 AM: See added picture and graf toward the end. Quite Quintessential.

2705 NORBERT Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$740,000

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,713 Sq. Ft.
$432 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1978
Lot Size: 7,980 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Mountains, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81312097

AMAZING EVERGREEN HOME–ONE HOUSE AWAY FROM GROESBECK HILL PARK! BRIGHT VAULTED ENTRY, GOURMET KITCHEN WITH STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES, GRANTITE COUNTERTOP, SEPERATE DINING RM W/ GRANITE WET BAR, TILE IN KITCHEN AND HARDWOOD FLOOR IN HALLWAY, BAY WINDOW IN LIVING RM, CEILING FANS IN MOST ROOMS, FLAGSTONE PATIO WITH SPORTS COURT, FRUIT TREES, CUSTOM-BUILT VIEWING DECK IN BACKYARD! RENTS $3,100/MO

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Apr 20: 2:00-4:00 pm

Now while this home isn’t the sine Qua non of Questionable real estate, it has certain Qualifications for the front page. Head off to the comments with your Questions and Quell any doubts that we would come up with some Quip.  Or Quirk.

Update 10:16 AM: Or in the case of this Quality structure on the left, we’re wondering how it will fare during the next Quake.

We could share even more pictures. Or we could always Quit.

Our typical pattern for daily articles is to feature a house on weekdays, and anything real-estate related runs on weekends. One of our most well-received weekend articles was a long-form post about Orchard Park. Orchard Park was a 700-home development built after World War II on the San Jose-Santa Clara border. One of our regulars (thanks, Burbed reader Swan!) sent in an original brochure for Orchard Park homes, and it was Kaptivating.  (Terms as low as $59.50 a month!)

Today, as we continue the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, K is for Kaiser.  As in Henry J. Kaiser (1882-1967), the shipbuilder, founder of the HMO originally created for his employees, and, oh yeah, real estate developer.  The Kaiser as in Kaiser Community Homes, in Los Angeles, Portland Oregon, and San Jose/Santa Clara, who brought you Orchard Park.  Here’s a photo from 1947 of the development.

Today we have a Kaiser Kastle for your Kuriosity.

1994 HEATHERDALE Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$598,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
924 Sq. Ft.
$647 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1946
Lot Size: 5,184 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 13 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81309942
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

BEAUTIFUL HOME IN A GREAT LOCATION. BIG DRIVEWAY WITH LOTS OF PARKING AREA. VERY WELL KEPT UP. DOUBLE PANE WINDOWS. DRIVEWAY, GARAGE FLOOR, PAINT, ROOF AND JUTTERS, AND SPRINKLERS ARE LESS THAN 8 YEARS OLD. CLOSE TO SCU. POSSIBLY COULD BE USED AS A BUSINESS/OFFICE BUYERS TO CHECK AND VERAFIY WITH CITY FOR USAGE PERMIT. CALL LISTING AGENT RUSS VIERRA FOR SHOWINGS. PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB RENTER.

Yes, do NOT disturb the renter who probably has no idea that the Seller is Licensed Real Estate Agent, Agent Related to Seller, and oh yes is about to sell his or her home Kallously out from underneath.  That’s because you could POSSIBLY use this as a BUSINESS/OFFICE BUYERS. 

And here’s another view of the Keep with BIG DRIVEWAY WITH LOTS OF PARKING AREA.

Lots of street area to play Keep Away in as well.  Remember those JUTTERS are less than 8 YEARS OLD.  CHECK AND VERAFIY WITH CITY.

Yes, we’re still in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and the Juicy Joint de Jour is right here in the wanna-be capital of Silicon Valley: San Jose!  Poor San Jose.  This city and its metro Just can’t catch a break. San Jose is bigger than San Francisco, but nobody loves it.  Even when Journalists mention Silicon Valley they’re usually talking about Palo Alto and Mountain View.  San Jose has been Jolted by spending problems, while the local Journal hasn’t heard anything from the mayor it wouldn’t Join.

So are you Jazzed?

4140 CADWALLADER Ave
San Jose, CA 95121
$1,100,000

3 Beds
3.5 Baths
2,525 Sq. Ft.
$436 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1915
Lot Size: 1.51 Acres
On Redfin: 117 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81243242
Style: Ranch
View: Mountains, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Very private and quiet 1.5 acres with panoramic view! Surrounded by upscale new homes, existing 3BD 3.5BA farm house with pool has great potential for future vineyard estates with TLC. Enjoy Fig, Apricot, Prune and Cherry trees and huge garden. Rural residential zone. Livestock, horse allowed. Minutes to Evergreen Village Square, Community Center, Library, College, Reid Hill Airport.

Looks like another round of “never mind the house, look at all this land!” in the photoset. And there’s enough for you to plan your next startup Web-enabled Social Media Just-in-time Agile Japanese Lean 6.0 App, be a Job Creator, plus room to set up housing for any workers who can’t afford to live further north!

Ja, you could be the next Steve Jobs! And if your venture doesn’t succeed, how about Jumping into a Juvenile Jail franchise?  If that doesn’t Jibe, there’s always land! Just plant Jicama and Jalapenos to stay out of Jeopardy!  For great Justice!

Also, if horse allowed, so is Jackass.

Today is the first day of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, so we’ll Abjure their Authorized Arms And Affirm our Abecedarian Attempt. And we Aspire to give A tip of the Aviator’s cap to Arlee Bird for Activating this Affair, with over 1700 blogs Associated!  Most All of them Aren’t in the Real Bay Area, so while we Advocate your Auditing Any and All, you Aren’t Accountable to Acquire Any properties.

We’re delighted to be part of this Amazing Alliance!  Now on to today’s Apt Acreage.

6792 ALMADEN Rd
San Jose, CA 95120
$865,000

5 Beds
3 Baths
2,704 Sq. Ft.
$320 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1969
Lot Size: 7,169 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 13 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County": Santa Clara
Stories: 2
Community: Almaden Valley
MLS#: 81308508

Large 5 bedroom Almaden home with swimming pool, corner lot. Top Almaden Schools: Graystone, Bret Harte & Leland. Property is Lender-Owned, being sold "AS-IS, " US Bank makes no representations or warranties. US Bank financing available. All US Bank loans to be approved by US Bank. .

US Bank may make no representations, but we Aim to. Zillow says this house is worth $1.1 million, which might Account for why the bank sat on its collective Ass for An Absolute Annum After they foreclosed. That means $250 thousand of Alleged instant equity for you, the buyer! What Are you Anticipating?  You Assume every listing has an Attractive Appearance by Instagram?

Arrive in your Automobile, And Ask your Agent to Arrange for An Attractive Advance deposit! Actung!  This Allotment is still Active! And that Aerial Aspect sure is Attractive!  Remember, Abode, Address, Area!

And… do you think we’re going to Adjust the daily Alphabet in All of the 25 Afterward Articles? Absolutely not. April Fool!

We’ve made comments about certain property listings where the photos seem more suited to an art gallery than a home website. Today’s house, though, is in a class by itself for serious WTFness. This San Jose museum masterpiece is so moved miles more than the masonry mainstream that it was nominated by two different Burbed readers within 24 hours: z2amiller and mtv-renter.

Grab your AudioTour listening device, slip on your headphones, and enjoy these curated images from a Cambrian townhouse available right now through your favorite real estate professional.  Or pick your least favorite realtard just to make ‘em have to look at it.

5692 HOLLYLEAF Ln
San Jose, CA 95118
$485,000

HOA Dues: $329/mo.
2 Beds
2 Baths
1,102 Sq. Ft.
$440 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1973
Lot Size: 2,120 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 9 days
HOA Dues: $329/month
Style: Traditional
Community: Cambrian
MLS#: 81308592
Property Type: Townhouse
View: Green Belt, Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

This home is a work of art! Upon entering you will be amazed at the artistry of the tile floors and walls These amazing mosaics were designed by a true artist. This colorful home features a remodeled kitchen with granite counters updated appliances copper sink double pane windows 2 spacious patios 2 car garage and a great location in the complex across from a green belt Must See one of kind Home!

Tile? That roof above looks just fine for a place in California.  Although somebody please give this listing agent some punctuation.

Ooooookay, the patio is just a touch on the loud side.  Things are about to get louder, so click on through. Warning, eye protection is strongly recommended.

(more…)

Most of our submissions come to us via email (contact info available in the upper right hand column).  Today’s featured fortress, from the wilds of San Jose Country Club near Santa Teresa del Fuego, was passed on to us via the Bat Signal. A Redfin Forums reader started a new thread and suggested that this home ought to join the Real Bay Area Is Awesome article, better known as What Can You Buy In The Bay Area for $3.3 million?  Well, let’s find out, courtesy of Burbed Reader HomeBuyer25!

5752 COUNTRY CLUB Pkwy
San Jose, CA 95138
$3,350,000

HOA Dues: $120/mo.
7 Beds
8.5 Baths
13,100 Sq. Ft.
$256 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 0.53 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $120/month
Style: Mediterranean
View: Bay, Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights, Golf Course
County: Santa Clara
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81309594

Prestigious Silver Creek Valley Country Club! Premium oversized parcel 23,140 sq. ft. featuring 13,100 s. f. residence w/ separate full guest quarters. Space for 7-14 vehicles, weight room, full basement, extra rooms for storage, dance or artist’s studio, wine cellar, bowling alley, wrestling etc. Amenities include radiant heated marble slab floors, 22 ft foyer, gym & theatre, 600 amp panel etc.

600 amp panel? Sold!  And that’s just for starters!

Because you know what else this place has? Elegance! Prestige! Why it’s boisting wit’ klayuss! Why? Kawlums!  Everything’s better with kawlums!

Although, not so fast. A look at the property history suggests this place has been on the market a lot more than one day. Or one time.  Take a look at the death throes of someone’s dream:

Hey, the price has been going back up for almost a year! Even the short sales show that Bay Area Bubble 4.0 is firmly inflated!  Blurry pictures, Christmas at Easter, more than a 50% haircut with amazing price history going back six years, and if you spent this much money in Palo Alto, there wouldn’t be a kawlum in sight!

Is that #winning or what?

Now, everyone submit your best prediction on what will be the winning overbid!

It’s almost time for the weekend, and that means more Open Houses!  Now that Daylight Savings Time is fully in force, we can dispense with Winter Bubble and move directly to Spring Bounce.  So let’s have a look at this stupendously staged showcase, courtesy of Burbed reader Darkhorse.  Thanks very much!  And remember, if you have the perfect (by which we mean not at all perfect) listing for our front page, send it on in with your nominating speech, and you can also have your completely arbitrary internet handle turned into a tag!

1621 HURST Ave
San Jose, CA 95125
$1,245,000

3 Beds
3 Baths
2,150 Sq. Ft.
$579 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1984
Lot Size: 6,435 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Willow Glen
MLS#: 81307527
Style: Tudor
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Mar 16: 1:00-4:00 pm
Sunday, Mar 17: 1:00-4:00 pm

Regular & As-Is Sale, a Unique Custom Built Tudor Style Home w/ many upgrades in the last 4 years; Master suite w/ fireplace, guess bedroom, Sauna & Den upstairs; Master bed, 3rd bath w/ shower/steam room, kitchen, pantry/wine cellar, separate laundry area w/ butler downstairs; Beautiful landscaping; 2+2-Car Garage w/ compressor, lift, upstairs Art Studio/Recreation Room/Storage & Long Wide Drive Way.

What did Darkhorse find so Special about this house?  Surely it wasn’t just the compressor.

Willow Glen Listing — Thought you might enjoy this listing. The photos are stunning,  maybe a new staging technique, wonder if the tiger and swords are included with the purchase price.

Tiger? Swords? Darkhorse, how could you possibly miss the DOG PET HANGING OUT?  (Burbed reader DonnieJ says that’s a cat.)

Guess when a house has staging of this caliber, the buyer won’t mind that a Unique Custom Home w/ many upgrades in the last 4 years needs to be listed as-is. But don’t worry, it’s a REGULAR SALE! Park anywhere on the Long Wide Drive Way.