September 6, 2013

East San Jose Mawbul Kawlums! This house sits on a lot of square feet

Okay, East San Jose hills, but still! Oh my gawd who lives here, the POPE?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader TL in San Jose for sending in this feature that indicates what makes a joint classy. KAWLUMS!  Put some in your bedroom!

130905-chaboya-redfin4227 CHABOYA Ct
San Jose, CA 95148

7 Beds
6.5 Baths
8,314 Sq. Ft.
$359 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 3.40 Acres
On Redfin: 14 days
Status: Active


130905-chaboya-kawlums2Not only this mansion teeming with MAWBUL KAWLUMS, the listing isn’t full of much of anything. We didn’t forget the description; there isn’t any. Also missing are basic entry items such as the County, the house style, and how many stories in the building. But this agent doesn’t have any stories to tell. Instead, we’ll let the photos do all the talking.

We did find this description on MLSListings:


130905-chaboya-kawlums4Best of all, it links to a virtual tour with, we shit you not, 80 pictures.  Because the 25 on Redfin are obviously not enough. Also not enough are the missing description in Redfin and the ALL-CAPS one above. So we are delighted to share the one from the virtual tour as well, because it demonstrates the care and consideration taken with selling a three million dollar house.


It certainly does. 148,104 sure is a lot.


Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

April 19, 2013

UPDATED: Quimby: A street? A neighborhood? So many Questions

BlogAtoZ-QWelcome to one of the Scrabble “bunus” rounds of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge! Yes, some of the letters are worth more points, because they’re Quite harder to play. And there aren’t any cities in the entire Bay Area that start with the letter Q, so we’re going to have to come up with another Quality. And we’ll have the same Quixotic Quest again when we deal with X and Z!

So, are there any other place names we can use? Neighborhoods, local landmarks, that sort of thing?  San Francisco has 118 distinct neighborhoods, and not 130418-norbert-qone starts with the “Scrabble Challenge Trio.”  Ditto for the 33 hoods in San Jose.  (Which raises a Question: why does San Jose, with more geography and more people, have much fewer place names?)

Fortunately, we are about to be Quietly rescued by Redfin, who helpfully has their very own Quirky neighborhood names!

Update 10:16 AM: See added picture and graf toward the end. Quite Quintessential.

130418-norbert-redfin2705 NORBERT Ct
San Jose, CA 95148

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,713 Sq. Ft.
$432 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1978
Lot Size: 7,980 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Mountains, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81312097


Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Apr 20: 2:00-4:00 pm

130418-norbert-wtf.jpgNow while this home isn’t the sine Qua non of Questionable real estate, it has certain Qualifications for the front page. Head off to the comments with your Questions and Quell any doubts that we would come up with some Quip.  Or Quirk.

Update 10:16 AM: Or in the case of this Quality structure on the left, we’re wondering how it will fare during the next Quake.


We could share even more pictures. Or we could always Quit.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

April 11, 2013

Just say you know the way to San Jose

BlogAtoZ-JYes, we’re still in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and the Juicy Joint de Jour is right here in the wanna-be capital of Silicon Valley: San Jose!  Poor San Jose.  This city and its metro Just can’t catch a break. San Jose is bigger than San Francisco, but nobody loves it.  Even when Journalists mention Silicon Valley they’re usually talking about Palo Alto and Mountain View.  San Jose has been Jolted by spending problems, while the local Journal hasn’t heard anything from the mayor it wouldn’t Join.

So are you Jazzed?

130410-cadwallader-redfin4140 CADWALLADER Ave
San Jose, CA 95121

3 Beds
3.5 Baths
2,525 Sq. Ft.
$436 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1915
Lot Size: 1.51 Acres
On Redfin: 117 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81243242
Style: Ranch
View: Mountains, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Very private and quiet 1.5 acres with panoramic view! Surrounded by upscale new homes, existing 3BD 3.5BA farm house with pool has great potential for future vineyard estates with TLC. Enjoy Fig, Apricot, Prune and Cherry trees and huge garden. Rural residential zone. Livestock, horse allowed. Minutes to Evergreen Village Square, Community Center, Library, College, Reid Hill Airport.

130410-cadwallader-pavedLooks like another round of “never mind the house, look at all this land!” in the photoset. And there’s enough for you to plan your next startup Web-enabled Social Media Just-in-time Agile Japanese Lean 6.0 App, be a Job Creator, plus room to set up housing for any workers who can’t afford to live further north!

Ja, you could be the next Steve Jobs! And if your venture doesn’t succeed, how about Jumping into a Juvenile Jail franchise?  If that doesn’t Jibe, there’s always land! Just plant Jicama and Jalapenos to stay out of Jeopardy!  For great Justice!

Also, if horse allowed, so is Jackass.

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

March 28, 2013

Space for 7-14 vehicles, dance or artist’s studio, bowling alley, wrestling etc.

Most of our submissions come to us via email (contact info available in the upper right hand column).  Today’s featured fortress, from the wilds of San Jose Country Club near Santa Teresa del Fuego, was passed on to us via the Bat Signal. A Redfin Forums reader started a new thread and suggested that this home ought to join the Real Bay Area Is Awesome article, better known as What Can You Buy In The Bay Area for $3.3 million?  Well, let’s find out, courtesy of Burbed Reader HomeBuyer25!

130327-country-redfin5752 COUNTRY CLUB Pkwy
San Jose, CA 95138

HOA Dues: $120/mo.
7 Beds
8.5 Baths
13,100 Sq. Ft.
$256 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 0.53 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $120/month
Style: Mediterranean
View: Bay, Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights, Golf Course
County: Santa Clara
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81309594130327-country-xmas

Prestigious Silver Creek Valley Country Club! Premium oversized parcel 23,140 sq. ft. featuring 13,100 s. f. residence w/ separate full guest quarters. Space for 7-14 vehicles, weight room, full basement, extra rooms for storage, dance or artist’s studio, wine cellar, bowling alley, wrestling etc. Amenities include radiant heated marble slab floors, 22 ft foyer, gym & theatre, 600 amp panel etc.

130327-country-kawlums600 amp panel? Sold!  And that’s just for starters!

Because you know what else this place has? Elegance! Prestige! Why it’s boisting wit’ klayuss! Why? Kawlums!  Everything’s better with kawlums!

Although, not so fast. A look at the property history suggests this place has been on the market a lot more than one day. Or one time.  Take a look at the death throes of someone’s dream:


130327-country-kawlums2Hey, the price has been going back up for almost a year! Even the short sales show that Bay Area Bubble 4.0 is firmly inflated!  Blurry pictures, Christmas at Easter, more than a 50% haircut with amazing price history going back six years, and if you spent this much money in Palo Alto, there wouldn’t be a kawlum in sight!

Is that #winning or what?

Now, everyone submit your best prediction on what will be the winning overbid!

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

August 23, 2012

How you gonna keep ’em down on the farm?

…Once they’ve seen the bright lights of South San Jose?  This is a floor wax and a dessert topping, two mints in one, yes an actual farm in San Jose.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Abby Dow for this fantastic farmyard complete with funky photos and retail store pricing.

San Jose, CA 95121


120822-kettmann-front3 beds
2 baths
1300 sqft
8 acres
1937 built
18 days on site
MLS# 81229181
Walk Score™ 48

Wow- Great Location and Potential. Developers, investors and owner builder; come see for yourself this one of a kind evergreen property, wonderfully located on 8+ acres.

120822-kettmann-outbuildingThe value must be in the land because the actual house doesn’t appear in the listing photos until you get to #4.  Our pal Abby seemed quite taken with the idea:

I’m sure this is priced for development, but it’s still strange to see a shabby looking little farm with a rundown house going on the market for $2,999,999 in San Jose.

It sure is.  8 acres?  It should be going for $3,999,999, especially with trash bins of this quality.  Plus you can be lord of the manor on that much property right in the middle of all this suburban sprawl.


Except that big house we’re seeing on Streetview is someone else’s manor.


You’ll get to know them well, as it looks like you’ll be sharing that gated one-lane road.  That’s going to be awesome when you build you PUD zoned 12 homes to the acre.  Who needs Santa Cruz, you can play real bumper cars just trying to get in or out!

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

July 18, 2012

Who wants to buy a meth lab?

This site has made a number of jokes about homes that could have been meth labs but probably weren’t.  But what if you could buy a real one?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Cam for following up on our recent guide to NOT buying a meth lab.

San Jose, CA 95135


120715-sanfelipe-hallwayBEDS:  4
SQ. FT.:  3,200
$/SQ. FT.:  $375
LOT SIZE:  1.72 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
COMMUNITY:  Evergreen
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81205455
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  155 days

Now is the time to buy this small ranch in the prestigious Evergreen Hills area. New entrance bridge makes a statement. Perfect for the horse-lover (tack room, barn and fencing) or person interested in exploring the possibility of subdivision. Lots of extras including BBQ area, dog run/kennel, covered patio and a hot tub.

120715-sanfelipe-fireplaceHere’s what Cam had to say about this um, very unique (snort) property:

Found this just after the meth lab post.

Pending soon? Agent even included photos of the chemical stains!

The link is to a Redfin forums discussion which links to this property, and also points out the same address is on the DEA seizure list.  The home was seized in August, 2010.  So it’s a pretty safe bet that this house is the real thing.  Except this is interesting as it went into foreclosure the previous February.

120715-sanfelipe-hottubYup, it’s an REO.  And you know what that means, right?  It means the seller (also known as the bank) doesn’t know squat about anything that happened in this house.

Check out the fireplace! More importantly, check out the chemical stains next to the fireplace! No wonder they didn’t dare show us what was cooking in the kitchen.

This reminds us of that huge meth lab bust in March (not this one, in an apartment, like for RENTERS).  We don’t know if this house was seized because the police were tracking down a stolen iPad and hit the jackpot, or if the bank deliberately planted some “bath salts” in the hot tub because they really wanted SOMEONE to take it off their hands.

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

June 18, 2012


Fire up your tardis and set the controls for two days ago, because there was an Open House on this Evergreen estate and you probably missed it!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this bodacious botch-up.

San Jose, CA 95148


SQ. FT.: 2,699
$/SQ. FT.: $2,371
LOT SIZE: 0.26 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
COMMUNITY: Evergreen
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81219851
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 22 days

Evergreen High School. Open house this Saturday, June 16, 2012, from 2-4pm. PRICE REDUCED 60K. BUYERS RUSH TO SEE THIS PROPERTY. EXCELLENT SCHOOLS. SPACIOUS 4 BEDROOM WITH 1 BEDROOM DOWNSTAIRS. AMAZING DEAL WILL NOT LAST. This is a shortsale with 1 lender only. Will close fast. PLEASE DO NOT CALL. FOR ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL alexiatnguyen@gmail. com

Here’s what Swan has to say about THAT:

120616-edgeman-satelliteReally?  $6.3 million in Evergreen?  I think it will be around for awhile.

Talk about a typo.  Listed for $699K  on May 31, price changed to $6,399,999 on June 15.  That’s some price change!

Hope you get to see this before they correct it!

Correct it?  They’re lining up the armored cars for the outsized overbidding that’s going to result from this masterly marketing maneuver.  And it’s not as if this home price history hasn’t already experienced the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.


It’s participated in the run-up, peak, and bust of the previous real estate bubble, 3 sales within five years!  Now, after staying with the same owners for almost 20, it will be selling shortly.  Or at least it would if the realtard had counted how many nines she entered.


So here’s one last look at the house, courtesy of Google Streetview. Place your bets on how quickly the new price ends up in that trash bin.

Update: This amazing deal did not last.


Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

June 14, 2012

Diamond in a Rough part of East San Jose

Here’s a find in the East Hills of San Jose, in Almost-But-Not-Quite-Evergreen.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy Tea House for this disappearing domicile.  Yes, disappearing, the listing went Pending-Do Not Show the day we wrote this and we had to search for it on literally SEVEN different real estate sites until we found one that hadn’t pulled the pix fast enough.  Today’s Thank-goodness-somebody-out-there-is-lazy real estate website is SAWBUCK.

3157 Markwood Court
San Jose, CA 95148


120612-markwood-stairwayBedrooms : 5
Bathrooms : 3
Lot Size : 0.29 ac
Finished Sq Ft : 2,253 sq. ft.
Type : Detached Single Family
Style : Traditional
Year Built : 1976
Subdivision : Evergreen
Stories : 2
MLS# : 81220317
WalkScore™ : 38 (Car-Dependent)

Diamond in a rough. Good location, near schools, EastRidge Mall. No warranty on Swimming pool/spa. Big lot. Two separate storages with no permit at rear. A lot of potential for this property. As-is sale.

120612-markwood-sidewaysHere’s why Tracy sent this Evergreen edifice in:

Not only does it have the favorite phrase Diamond in the rough.” The pictures are “works of art.” From the sideways one, the stairway cage or the coiled hose… Classic… especially the non-warrantied swimming pool.  120612-markwood-hose

Humm I wonder what is wrong right with it??

That’s “Diamond in A rough” not “diamond in THE rough.”  Perhaps they left a word or two out after rough.

Tracy also notes that the listing copy used to end with “Price reflect deferred maintenance on property.” instead of the current “As-is sale.”  We’ve added both the as-is and needs work tags. 

The pictures, all of them. are indeed works of art, if by “art” we actually mean “seriously, WTF?”  We’ve got every one of them for you (in case Sawbuck feels the need to abide by MLS rules) after the break.


Comments (33) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

March 17, 2012

A dozen plus tenants in a million-dollar hood

Foreclosure rattles upscale San Jose neighborhood, and tenants

By Pete Carey, San Jose Mercury News
Posted:   03/14/2012 05:53:36 PM PDT, Updated: 03/15/2012 10:14:37 AM PDT

120315-lacastellet-partitionsThe two-story home in the East San Jose foothills could belong to any well-to-do family, but step through the door and you’re inside a million-dollar suburban foreclosure quagmire.

More than a dozen adults and their pets have been living in a warren of rented rooms in the foreclosed house, turning a tranquil cul-de-sac into what one upset neighbor called "a nightmare for all of us living on that block."

120315-lacastellet-laundryAccording to attorneys for the tenants, the former owner was renting out rooms — including the laundry room and a living room split in two — in the months after the home was foreclosed by the bank. They claim she never told tenants about the foreclosure. Now the tenants face eviction in a hearing to be held Thursday in Santa Clara County Superior Court.

San Jose police officers have responded 16 times since September to resolve disputes and disturbances at the five bedroom, four bath home on La Castellet Court, where houses are valued at $1 million or more. The city’s code enforcement department says it has an open case on the house.      

120315-lacastellet-staircaseRemember the Cubicle House?  This owner simply took that idea one step further now that rentals beat office space.

For all of you who have been criticizing the idea of The Real Bay Area versus The Part That Is Not, this should definitively settle those arguments.  Things like this simply Do Not Happen In The Real Bay Area.  If someone in Los Altos Hills were to notice 15 cars parked along the street in front of the 4,000 square foot housing tumor next door, Code Enforcement would not merely say they have “an open case on the house.”

And in Palo Alto, every one of those vehicles would have collected parking tickets within 2 hours and 10 minutes.

Anyway, our intrepid reporters have tracked down the house in question.


Unfortunately for purposes of journalistic outrage, the Streetview photo does not have the aforementioned excess vehicle collection.


Zillow can show us the neighborhood values.


Homeowners here certainly may have paid over a million for this area, but Zillow has a disturbing lack of faith in their reported valuations.  The expressway-like street against the backyards is Aborn. 

And if you’re wondering why the FB felt the need to fill this home chock-a-block with tenants while hiding from Bank of America, wait until you hear the bubblicious price paid for this place: $1,580,000 on Halloween of 2006. 

Comments (16) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

July 5, 2011

If you hate lawns, you’ll love this house in San Jose

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,232
$/Sq. Ft.: $296
Lot Size: 5,900 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1964
Community: Evergreen
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81113201
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active

On Redfin: 69 days
Beautiful total remodeled with CHERRY cabinet, granite counter top, new appliances, wood laminate floor, new inter & exter paint. New windowns. Close to freeway ans shoping. Move-in condition. Big back yard at corner lot for easy access either front or side of the house. Perfect location for living in & also can be used as home based business. Regular sale Hurry!!!

It’s in to be green right now! And one way to be green is to not have a lawn! Also, cut down your commute by being able to park right in front of your front door!

This house is a concrete lover’s dream. There’s only one thing better than having some concrete – and that’s a lot of concrete!

And look, easy access to King Rd!


This house is just waiting for an entrepreneur like you! What kind of business will you start?

Comments (18) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:33 am