Many thanks to Burbed reader AstroWallaby, for calling out today’s spectacular house in comments.  Drop by anytime, Astro, if you have more of these!

 

2450 MCLAUGHLIN Ave, San Jose, CA 95121
$1,100,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,152
$/SQ. FT.: $955
LOT SIZE: 0.83 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1935
COMMUNITY: South San Jose
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81133489
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 44 days

NEARLY 1 ACRE of LAND (36,062 SF. ) THE PROPERTY HAS LOTS OF POTENTIAL. TRUE VALUE IS IN THE LAND. “REGULAR SALE”. A very rare finding property in San Jose—nearby lots of public amenities. “REGULAR SALE”! — OPPORTUNITY !!! OPPORTUNITY !!! OPPORTUNITY !!! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

Tired of living in a cooped-up apartment?  Hate hearing neighbors through walls?  Maybe you need some elbow room, and you’ll fit plenty of elbows here.  Haven’t you heard?  This is a very rare finding property.  Also the agent is USING ALL CAPS because he can’t believe this one isn’t a short sale or REO.

That means faster turnaround time for YOU to MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE because the bank won’t be throwing roadblocks at you every step of the way.  You can definitely make a lot of dreams come true with this much space, as long as your dream included South San Jose.  But it says OPPORTUNITY !!! three times.

So why are you still here? Go! Go!

I was looking at the San Jose Mercury News’ (motto: We Were Once a Newspaper!  Really!) city homicide map, wondering if it would lead to any particular real estate bargains. Like maybe there’s a neighborhood full of low prices but no unnecessarily dead neighbors.

Anyway, If you click on the little blue map pins, an information box pops up with more details on each crime.  Then I saw this.

OMFG. While this hood may not be where your typical High Functioning Autistic Engineer wants to live… can you BELIEVE that streetname? I couldn’t either. So let’s examine a typical property for sale on a short block that’s long on GEEK WIN.

446 NERDY Ave, San Jose, CA 95111
$240,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1.5
SQ. FT.: 1,113
$/SQ. FT.: $216
LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COMMUNITY: South San Jose
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81130790
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 23 days

This IS A Great property! While it requires some TLC it is located in a terrific neihborhood with a great lot!

At these prices, cash in some Apple, Google, or Facebook stock options and you could buy up the entire block.

Heck, you could probably afford to build your own monorail from your high tech job to this awesome sauce street name.

Really.  I’m so speechless I’ll let you Burbed readers critique the damned HOUSE.

Oh.

Wait.

THIS:

Can you imagine what this place would have sold for if it hadn’t been an insider deal?  The mind boggles.

And. THIS:

You may well be looking at one of the few properties where the Streetview shot is demonstrably better than the realtard’s offering, and I’m spotting him the garbage bins.

It’s unfortunate city planners didn’t put this street a few miles northeast, closer to Reid-Hillview Airport, so you could own a Silicon Valley house at the corner of White and Nerdy.

$479,000

3061 WALL St San Jose, CA 95111

Beds:	3
Baths:	2
Sq. Ft.:	760
$/Sq. Ft.:	$630
Lot Size:	8,050 Sq. Ft.
Property Type:	Detached Single Family
Style:	Traditional
Stories:	1
View:	Neighborhood
Year Built:	1955
Community:	South San Jose
County:	Santa Clara
MLS#:	81033322
Source:	MLSListings
Status:	ActiveThis listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin:	40 days

2 bedroom, 1 bathroom main house approx 760 sq ft plus 1 bed, 1 bath guest house approx 430 sq ft on this large lot. Both dwellings updated & perfect for the extended family or?? Newer windows; newer bathrooms, inside laundry, hardwood floors in main house. Close to shopping, convenient to freeway.

Thanks to Burbed reader sonarrat for sending this in!

Here’s what sonarrat had to say:

YESS!!! Who wouldn’t want to say they live on Wall Street? $630 a square foot, but if you add in the illegal outhouse, then it’s a mere $402.

It’s like living in Manhattan, but with the convenience and prestige of San Jose. Just think, you can go around telling all your friends “Yeah, I live in Wall St. Wall Street, San Jose that is!”

Hey since you’ve living the Wall St lifestyle, you can even have a servant live in your servant quarters. How sweet would that be! “Jeeves, please fetch me another Corona!”

And it’s the same size as a condo in Manhattan too! Win win win!

Many thanks to burbed reader sonarrat for finding this “hidden treasure.”  Wow.

5534 Starcrest Drive, San Jose 95123
$499,900

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,697
$/Sq. Ft.: $295
Lot Size: 6,327 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
Year Built: 1962
Community: Blossom Valley
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81028558
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 1 day
New Listing (24 hours)

Hidden Treasure in Blossom Hill. The garden with built in pool and outdoor area is just luxurious and you would think you are in the hills of Saratoga. .. .WOW. .. .must see. Unbelievable floor plan flows, step down from the large eat in kitchen to the open family room, great room, dining area with spectacular fireplace, lovely eye catching chandeliers. Perfect for family parties. Garden sold sep.

You would think you are in the hills of Saratoga, but you’re trying to convince a bank to let a short sale go through.  And even if you can convince them to think they’re in the hills of Saratoga, you’re offering less than $500,000.  In Saratoga, that won’t even build a pool house.  You would think the bank would give you a pool and a house?

You would think that for half a million dollars, your house would show more than just the garage when you drive up to it.  WOW.

You would also think that if the bank were serious about selling, they would think about some of the decor that prevented you from thinking about the Saratoga Hills.  Large photographs of family members have this way of interfering with “Imagine yourself in your very own home.”  You would think you are in the living room of some unlucky homedebtor instead, and you would think, “What if this is still overpriced and I end up underwater like these people?”

The unbelievable floor plan just flows.  You would think these liquid metaphors are ill-advised with so many mortgages under water.

Then when you step into the garden with built in pool and outdoor area and you would think you are in the hills of Saratoga, the agent will remind you that said luxurious garden is sold separately.  After all, you may think you are in the hills of Saratoga, but you step down to Blossom Hill.  WOW.

4250 MONTEREY Hwy San Jose, CA 95111

$560,900

Beds:	5
Baths:	2.5
Sq. Ft.:	3,000
$/Sq. Ft.:	$187
Lot Size:	1.35 Acres
Property Type:	Detached Single Family
Style:	Mediterranean
Stories:	2
View:	Mountains, Neighborhood, Valley
Year Built:	1947
Community:	South San Jose
County:	Santa Clara
MLS#:	81012669
Source:	MLSListings
Status:	Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin:	23 days

Secluded home on a very private lot. See tons of possibilities for this large home in a great location near shopping, dining, freeways, and schools. (Just blocks from Valley Christian Middle/High School. )square footage is an estimate from agents * buyer to verify

Satellite map confirms it is actually behind those auto shops at the end of a steep driveway. Perfect as a hideaway for the kingpin of a car theft ring!

Let’s take a look!

Uh. Hm. Originally I was going to go with a joke about how if you liked the Fast and the Furious, you might like this house… but the more I look at it, the more it appears that this would be a better candidate for someone looking to start their own militia!

But just look at that amazing price. What a steal!n

11 HAYES Ave, San Jose, CA 95123 | MLS# 80946643
11 HAYES Ave San Jose, CA 95123
Price: $410,850

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,476
$/Sq. Ft.: $278
Lot Size: 9,585 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1977
Community: Blossom Valley
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80946643
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 12 days
What a fabulous buy on this Blossom Valley home! Expanded 4 bedroom home with spacious bedrooms; master bedroom suite; living room with vaulted ceiling & fireplace, huge lot with large storage shed; gated front driveway and more. Property needs a little TLC but a great value! Don???t miss!

Thanks to Burbed reader Sonarrat for this find!

Again, further evidence that San Jose is very affordable these days. At just $278 per square foot, they might as well be giving this house away.

But let’s look at what Sonarrat had to say:

I love the Hwy 82 flyover and U-Haul place in the streetview. Train tracks too!

Hm…

Wow! Talk about convenience! With easy access to roads, trains, even movers, this house maximum utility value. Just think about when you flip this house for tons of money – you’ll be able to zip away, and the new buyer will be able to zip in! Everyone loves a fast closing time and this house can deliver on that.

Personally, I think the real value in this house is to petition the trains to stop, so that you can provide a freight forwarding/moving service in conjunction with the UHaul lot across the street. Can you say “entrepreneur”?

344 Armed Ct, San Jose, CA 95111 South San Jose MLS# 80902914 – Property Details

344 Armed Ct, San Jose, CA
$269,900

* Status: Pending Show
* Bedroom: 3
* Bathroom: 1
* Year Built: 1963
* Lot Size: 5952
* Square Footage: 960
* List Date: 1/17/2009
* Garage Spaces: 2

* MLS#: 80902914
Get your start in homeownership, this home is perfect for the first timer who wants to put a little sweat equity into their investment. 3 bedrooms and 1 bath needs cosmetic upgrades. Large cul-de-sac lot provides ample yardspace for those outdoor activities. Nice and quiet location with easy access to amenities and freeways.

Ok… there’s nothing really wrong with this house. It’s Friday, and I thought it’d be nice to have some levity and share with you a house on a street that’s called “Armed Court”.

$269,900 for a 3/1 in San Jose. With no pictures. Man… I can’t wait until the economy picks up.

Thanks to Burbed reader sonarrat for the find!

Heh. Armed Court. Heh.

SouthSanJose.com: South San Jose, CA Real Estate Trends

Thanks to Burbed reader Ek for pointing this out. Sorry South San Jose – you’re no longer part of the Bay Area either.

You’re going to have to hang out with Gilroy and Morgan Hill from now on. Los Gatos, please turn your back to South San Jose. Thanks.

Burbed Reader Brian had this to say:

Here you go.  In south San Jose on Santa Teresa and Cottle intersection today there were 21 open house signs.  I couldn’t get them all in one shot but trust me there was one on every corner and on the islands.

This was last weekend… anyone want to take a picture for this weekend?