September 18, 2013

Diamond in the rough. Really rough. For many diamonds.

We’re continuing this Week of Win, jumping to a new county each time. Today we’re headed to Santa Clara, the Mission City.  As in, your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to tell us everything you just love about today’s featured property!

We’ll start. It’s on a street named for an architect!

130917-wren-redfin990 WREN Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051

3 Beds
2.5 Baths
2,250 Sq. Ft.
$710 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1963
Lot Size: 0.52 Acres
On Redfin: 55 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81326991
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

* Diamond in the rough * Huge Lot * Buyer to verify if the property can be subdivided into 3 lots * With TLC, this house is full of potential

130917-wren-lawnThis house is indeed full of something.  Unfortunately there are no pictures inside so we’re going to have to guess what that is.

Also we’re scratching our heads over how much potential this home is full of, especially with the subdivision suggestion. Maybe it has the potential to have even uglier houses much closer.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

July 27, 2013

Coming to a listing near you

130726-bowers-placementProduct placement in movies and television have been going on for a while.  Remember the Reese’s Pieces in E.T.? If you see a brand in a movie or other video, you can be sure it was put there deliberately.

Well then… why haven’t realtards tried product placement in listing photos? After all, buyers are such a fickle lot, underbidding during bubbles and expecting freebies thrown in like refrigerators and kitchen cabinets when the sellers have every right to keep them. At least if they had product placement to fall back on, there would be some bucks in it for them, whether or not the house sold!

Let’s have a look at a really egregious example of product placement. We’re not talking about a loving paean to Andersen Windows or Bosch dishwashers that are features of the house for sale, either.


130726-bowers-greygoose-farHere’s the Redfin listing, where you’ll find another photo of the booze.  The even better Bunus portion of this amusing photo is where we found this REGULAR SALE!

Would you buy your next house from this realty firm?

And it’s Open Thread time! Tell us what products you saw placed when you looked at open houses!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:07 am

May 31, 2013

Two Two Too Good To Be True Home in Santa Clara

It’s been far too long since we’ve heard from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  Today’s superlative siting is situated in supreme Santa Clara! Let’s hear it for those low-cost utilities, yayyyyyy! Notice we’re using Zillow today? There’s a good reason: Redfin’s already yanked the listing because… yup, PENDING!

130530-claremont-zillow22 Claremont Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051

Est. Mortgage: $4,040/month

Bedrooms: 3 beds
Bathrooms: 2 baths
Single Family: 1,833 sq ft
Lot: 8,712 sq ft
Year Built: 1956
Heating Type: Contact for details
Days on Zillow: 14
Addition Size: 432
Construction Quality: 6.0
Garage Size: 437
Last Remodel Year: 1956
Lot Depth: 110
Lot Width: 80
MLS #: 81316927
Parcel #: 29617012
Room Count: 7
130530-claremont-playhouse# Stories: 1.0
Structure Type: Contemporary
Unit Count: 1
Zillow Home ID: 19602034

Too good to be true home. Tremendous amounts of living space, huge backyard on prime culdesac with CUPERTINO schools. Inspections show this house is in great shape. Heat/AC, hardwood floors, CAT 5 wiring,special sound resistant windows and walls,black out shades, Audio.Visual tech dream home, granite counters,surround sound, etc. This home will not last long. Office area is built in & stays.

130530-claremont-tvWait, what’s this about sound resistant windows and walls and black out shades? This makes it a too good to be true home?

Those shades aren’t even black! We think the agent is pulling a fast one here. Same thing with the “Audio.Visual tech dream home” when all that’s visible is a giant-ass flatscreen. For all we know those cabinets are full of useless things like cinnamon and pastry bags.

130530-claremont-locationWe did determine why they mentioned the special sound resistant windows and walls, though.  Location, location, location! Hoe Lee Crap, this house is on a six lane major thoroughfare next to an eight lane major expressway and an eight lane freeway.

This is a rare location fail trifecta: Busy street, expressway and freeway. Plus it backs up to a commercial zone.

Now what would you pay? Not only is Santa Clara hosting million dollar houses, but million dollar houses in challenging locations! Can you imagine what you’re going to have to pay for a house near nothing but other houses?

If you think we’re exaggerating about the commercial zone, check out what you see when you hit Redfin right now.


Go on over there, click on the map to make it full size, and note where you find yourself. This home will not last long, indeed.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

January 15, 2013

(2)Lots (2)Custom Homes. (Sold Together)

Want to be a real estate mover and shaker? Start today by buying this property that features 2, yes (2) lots!  Think of all the ways you could take advantage of this amazing zoning opportunity.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending us this salubrious spread in Santa Clara!

130114-pruneridge-redfin2710 PRUNERIDGE Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051

4 Beds 
3 Baths 
2,254 Sq. Ft.
$699 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 10,270 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 6 days
Status: Active
Property Type
Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81300520
Style: Ranch
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

(2)Lots for Sale With Building Plans for (2)Custom Homes. (Sold Together) Lot #1 APN 294-32-041: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home:3,454s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,614s. f. Cupertino Schools!! Lot #2 APN294-32-042: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home: 3,243s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,002s. f. Santa Clara Schools. (Lot Lines Adjusted per S. F. )Existing 4Br/3Ba Home Encroaches on New Property Line.

130114-pruneridge-lotlinesWow, was that listing copy written by an attorney who doesn’t want anyone to notice the details? Or perhaps a claustrophobic, because whoever typed that in is afraid of spaces.  Now let’s have a good look at this opportunity with an existing 52 year old house that encroaches on New Property Line.

The red line appears to be for Lot #1, the bigger 8614 sf parcel. As you can see it cuts through the east side of the existing house, but fortunately, it did not bring the cooties of Santa Clara Schools all the way to the front door.

Yes, we hope you noticed that Lot #1 is Cupertino Schools and Lot #2 isn’t.  But wait! There’s more!


See those little words in the driveway?  Yes, technically your driveway is an actual city street that ends a few feet before the back fence.  Here’s another look at the neighborhood.

So not only do you have one house with several inches on the other lotline, you also have a named city street taking up most of it.

How are you going to design your way out of this configuration?  We assume one of the lots boasts a Portal to Hell for extra storage.

One other solution: Street Fair Every Day.  Now we’re talking Serious Opportunity!  Call up some of those Gourmet Food Trucks, have them kick back some of the take, and you’ll be paying this place off in no time. 

Bunus: Santa Clara Utilities for all!

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

April 10, 2012

You’ll appreciate the lower cost Santa Clara-owned utilities

Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer week continues, now featuring this fine find in superb Santa Clara! Who needs to drive all the way to San Francisco for overpriced property when you can do that in your own backyard?  But it’s hot, hot, HOT in the Valley too!  This is place not only went pending in five days, the listing photos were yanked down everywhere I looked.

Thank Woz for Movoto!

3086 Arthur Ct
Santa Clara, CA 95051 


Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 2
Size: 1,104 sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 1954
Lot Size: 5,148
Days on Movoto: 14 days
Neighborhood: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81210711
Status: Off Market
Views: 58

This contemporary-style hm on a cul-de-sac has ample natural lighting w/many windows&skylights*warm wood ceilings in the living rm&kitchen add to the ambiance*fully fencedyard(incl front)offers privacy&outdoor areas to use*you’ll appreciate the lower cost Santa Clara-owned utilities & award-winning Cupertino schools*convenient location for freeways,shopping&parks*Shows nicely too!

120405-arthur-livingroomPoor Movoto.  Seems all they’re good for is for finding expired listings that everyone else dutifully removed when asked.  Burbed readers send in links to housing finds using Redfin, Zillow, Trulia, ZipRealty, even 

It’s been a long, long time since a contribution linked to Movoto, and they once were the Official Burbed Listing Link.  Does anyone use them? This poor house only had 58 views, and 54 of them were probably from our putting today’s feature together.

Anyway, the listing copy demonstrates the usual proof that real estate agents are highly-esteemed professionals.  And while you’re trying to decipher that copy, enjoy these photos, after the break.  Someone associated with this house may be asking Movoto to take them down real soon now.


Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

March 13, 2012

Real Pride of Ownership in Santa Clara

Here’s a Santa Clara twofer for you, as we stay in The Mission City for a second day.  This is a fine submission from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer that should convince you to stop renting and start owning before you are PRICED OUT FOREVER.

Santa Clara, CA 95051


SQ. FT.: 1,104
$/SQ. FT.: $679
LOT SIZE: 6,090 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81205842
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 26 days

Come see this wonderful home in Santa Clara with real pride of ownership. This is a move in ready home with nothing for you to do! Enjoy the updated kitchen, remodeled bathroom, hardwood floors under the carpet, a beautiful pool and spa and more. The neighborhood gets very little traffic and in the Cupertino School District (Eisenhower Elementary and Hyde Middle School).


Yeah.  Definitely nothing for you to do with this place.  Just be ready to move in, and you won’t ever need any coffee in the morning as this kitchen décor is going to wake you no matter how late you were up.

Also, the listing copy above mentions how little traffic the neighborhood gets, so maybe we should have a look at the neighborhood.

Perhaps it’s because the three-story townhouses that loom over the backyard are all populated by Neighborhood Watch enthusiasts.


120312-claremont-solarMore good news: this house appears to have some solar panels, and they are perfectly sited with a southern exposure.  They’re also perfectly sited not to overheat or generate excess capacity, thanks to those townhouses blocking the harmful winter UV rays.

And if you want to know more about that housing development over the back fence, Burbed has already paid them a couple of visits, both to a townhouse and the (genius!) detached single family house tucked into a high density complex.  That means your back fence neighbor is one of two dueling Lords of the Manor.

Looks like there’s lots of Real Pride of Ownership for everyone to share!

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

March 12, 2012

Gem of a House in Santa Clara, but so many questions

Happy Monday!  Let’s kick off the new workweek with another one of Burbed reader sonarrat’s discoveries in Santa Clara, also known as Real Gray Area.  And we’re not going to let a little thing like the seller pulling it off-market stop us from enjoying it, either!

2545 Amethyst Dr
Santa Clara, CA 95051


Beds: 3
Baths: 1
Sqft: 897
Lot: 5,227 sq ft / 0.12 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1955
Construction quality: 6.0
County: Santa Clara
Garage sqft: 273
Last remodel year: 1955
Legal description: TRACT 1309 GREEN VALE MANOR BOOK 50 PAGE1 10 PAGE2 13 LOT 438
Lot depth: 100
Lot width: 54
Neighborhood name: Santa Clara
Parcel #: 21622037
Per floor sqft: 897
Total rooms: 5
School district: Santa Clara Unified
# Stories: 1
Structure type: Other

Move-in condition ? Remodeled Kitchen & Bathroom ? New Appliances ? Newly refinished Hardwood Floors ? New Vinyl Floor in Kitchen & Bathroom ? Central Air Conditioner ? Santa Clara Schools ? Quiet Neighborhood with easy access to Expressways and 101

120309-amethyst-kitchenJust in case someone has a sad about these pictures still floating around Zillow and PMZ and gawd knows which other sites that don’t honor their MLS agreements, here are the other three pictures in the gallery. 

As you peruse them, pay careful attention to the artist’s use of light and texture, especially how certain themes carry from one photo to the next.

120309-amethyst-livingroomThat’s a rather fancy-ass way to say despite this house looking abandoned (or at least like the owners can’t afford any living room furniture), somebody took the trouble to hang up curtains.


Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

December 6, 2011

BLACK FRIDAY DEALS: Cheapest House in Santa Clara!

We’ve done with our whirlwind tour of the cheapest home in every Bay Area County (plus Santa Cruz).  But what about our favorite cities?  We can’t leave them without a big ol’ Burbed hug! 

Go West, young man, west of San Jose over to the delightful city of Santa Clara!  Don’t get lost, now, because when you go West in San Jose, that means taking 101 or 280 NORTH.  But don’t actually go North.  You’ll end up in Alviso, and we’re headed there another day.

Today: The Mission City!  Tomorrow: The World!  Muhahahaha!

1647 LAFAYETTE St, Santa Clara, CA 95050


SQ. FT.: 988
$/SQ. FT.: $302
LOT SIZE: 9,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81144289
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 47 days

Short Sale As Is with only one Lender. Nice floor plan with a large back yard. This charming home is a fixer upper, located in a central location of Santa Clara. Easy access to highways, Santa Clara University and within walking distance to the surrounding business places, shops & restaurants.

Don’t let that Pending status worry you, it’s Pending With Release!  That means you can slip in a non-contingent offer, even better if it’s all-cash.  But don’t plan on getting to see the inside until you take possession.  Here’s another view courtesy of Google.


And when the agent said centrally located, she wasn’t kidding!


Sold for $474K in 2003, that’s $175K in instant equity waiting for you!

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 4:06 am

November 9, 2011

Burbed Returns to Rivermark

A couple of years ago, Burbed featured this fine Rivermark house at a rather startling price.  Unfortunately, nobody took advantage of this amazing offer, and the home was withdrawn from MLS at the end of 2009.


Fortunately, this listing is back and better than EVEH!  Ladies and gentlemen, Burbed proudly presents Rivermark 2011, The Sequel, now in living… um, what?

4160 RIVERMARK Pkwy, Santa Clara, CA 95054


BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 2,989
$/SQ. FT.: $383
LOT SIZE: 3,484 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
VIEW: Neighborhood
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81145878
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 6 days

Rivermark Promenade II Arcade Floor Plan; Prime lot; 10 foot ceilings; Downstairs den/office can be used as a bedroom; The back studio suite (approx. 515 sq ft over the garage with a full bath & private entrance) could be rental unit/game room/home office/guest quarters; Stainless steel appliances, granite slab counter island & beautiful maple cabinets, Jacuzzi, pre-wired speakers, 3-Zone AC/Heat.

imageWhat an amazingly versatile property!  The downstairs den/office, as if it doesn’t already promise dual-use, can also be used as a bedroom!  The back studio suite could be a rental unit, or a game room, or a home office (wait, don’t you already have a den or bedroom that could be an office?  Too many choices!!!) or even guest quarters!  Imagine what that granite slab counter island could be used for?  Maybe a butcher shop or a pathologist’s table?  Why, the possibilities are endless!

imageIt looks like the agent hired Alin Ciorta to photograph the exterior this time around.  Good move!  The previous cover shot said “Tract construction somewhere in California.”  This photo says “artistic impression representing the contradiction of permanence.”  Or maybe it says “Where’s the goddamned focus knob?”

Unfortunately, the rest of the 2009 pictures seem to have kicked the bit bucket, but as a consolation prize, the sellers have thrown in a completely unreadable floorplan.

Best of all, this house is at the same bargain 2009 price, minus the lucky 8s!  That’s because the sellers are passing on all the luck DIRECT TO YOU. 

If you had any doubt that the Bay Area was HOT, HOT, HOT, this should settle all doubts.  Rivermark is IT and you STILL aren’t good enough.

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

October 20, 2011

Are you SURE it has Cupertino Schools? Really SURE?

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this Santa Clara charmer.


248 KELLOGG Way, Santa Clara, CA 95051


SQ. FT.: 1,388
$/SQ. FT.: $597
LOT SIZE: 6,710 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81143461
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day

Bright and Beautiful Family Home with Magnificent Upgrades. Recently Remodeled Kitchen and Baths include Granite Counters and Extended Solid Wood Cabinets. Enlarged Shower in Master. Central A/C. Recessed Lighting. Energy Saving Dual Pane Windows. Hardwood Flooring. Ceiling Fans in Each Room. (6)Panel Doors. (2)Car Garage with Enlarged Driveway. Park-Like Backyard. Cupertino Schools!

imageThis house might have Magnificent Upgrades, but you’re going to have to take this agent’s word for it.  There are no photos of the inside of the house or the Park-Like Backyard.

Instead, the photos are of the only thing that justifies spending eight hundred thousand dollars on a fifty year old house that’s probably smaller than this place’s spice rack.


This agent doesn’t want you accidentally buying the house with Santa Clara schools and Cupertino utilities, so you probably ought to overbid an extra $50K just to show your appreciation.


Any suggestions just what that is on the front lawn?  Is it a Chia shed?

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am